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AJ pulls me into the room, and begins to wrestle me to the bed. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted me too. He pushed me down onto the bed and laid himself on top of me. He raised me arms above my head as he held me down on the bed. He covered my neck with kiss and gently nibbled on my ear. I let out a soft moan as he ran his hand over my breast. He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head. I had always thought that he was too skinny, but lately he had really started to fill out. I smile up at him and ran my hands down his chest. He lay back over on me and his me hard. I could feel his heart beating against mine. He ran his hand up my thigh and pulled my leg over onto him. He lifted me up as I straddle him and slid his arms around the back of my dress and unzipped it. He slid the dress over my head and buried his face into my chest. With one hand he knowingly unclasped my bar and discarded it. He took my breast into his mouth and softly flicked his tongue around my nipple. I let out a cry of ecstasy. He laid me back down on the bed and stood up to remove his pants and boxer. He laid back down over me and for a split second I could see confusion in his eyes. I quickly pulled him down onto me and kissed him. I reached my hand down between his legs and grabbed his shaft into my hand. I pushed him up and turned him on his back. I positioned myself perfectly between his legs and took him into my mouth. I look up at him as I stroked him and every so gently massaged his manly-hood with my mouth. He let out an intense moan and pulled me up to his face. He stared at me for a second before smiling and rolling me over to return the favor. He excitedly pulled my underwear off and grazed my body with his eyes. He must’ve liked what he seen because he leaned over and kissed my stomach. He rests his hand on my thigh as he spread my legs. He placed of my legs over his shoulder and pushed the other out to the side. I couldn’t help but think he had experience in this department. He lowered his mouth to my wetness and pleasured me better than I could ever recall. I yell loudly as I reach climax and he reaches up and cover my mouth.


“You don’t want him to hear!” he whispered.


That was exactly what I wanted. I wanted Nick to hear what I had heard every night for the past two weeks. I look at AJ and said. “I don’t care what he hears, what I do care is that you aren’t in me right now.”


He smiled down at me and nodded. He spread my legs apart and placed himself in between them. I arched my back as he slid slowly into me. I could feel my body yearning for him. “Fuck me Alex.” I say as he looks me in the eye. “Do it now.” I add pulling him into me. He obeys and starts a good rhythm. We fit together perfectly. I reach my hands around him and pull him down further into me. My body has taken in all that it can, but I yearn for more. I pull my nails across his back as he trust himself harder. He slows for a moment and I turn him over and position myself on top of him. I slid my body onto his shaft and slowly begin to grid myself against him. I ride him back and forth and he reaches up and takes my breast into his mouth. I arch my back as I feel my release coming. I reach my climax with another load moan and pick up the pace so that AJ will soon reach his too. Once he orgasms our pace slows and eventually ceases. I move my self to the side of him and lay my head over on to his shoulder. I look over at him and he is looking straight up at the ceiling. I wish I knew what he was thinking.


AJ BRAIN


That shouldn’t have happened. What do we do next? Am I seriously going to start a relationship with a girl that I know Nick is in love with? Does she even want a relationship, or was she trying to get back at Nick? It sure was awesome though. I could handle having her in my bed every night. Here is this amazing girl in my bed with her head on my chest, but I have no idea of what will happen when we wake up in the morning. Will she regret it? Will I? Hell, I already do? Do I tell Nick? Do I pretend it never happened and pass it off as some drunken night and a stupid mistake? I shouldn’t have done this. It shouldn’t be difficult. What was it anyway? Did we fuck, or did we make love? Oh, what have I done?


BACK TO REALITY


I can tell he is deep in thought. “What cha thinking about Jay?” I ask as I kiss his chest. He looks at me and simply say’s “About what just happened.”


I look at his with interest and concern. “Is everything ok? I mean did you not want to...”


He cut me off, “No, it isn’t that I didn’t want to. I did want to. It is whether or not we should’ve.”


I don’t know what to say. I just kind of nod my head in understanding.


“I mean, what was that Dess? What was it to you? Do you want to be with me, or did you just need someone.”


I feel my eyes start to fill up with tears. “I don’t know what I want Jay. I know that tonight I wanted to be with you. I don’t know what I am feeling now, but I don’t think it is bad.”


“I didn’t ask if you felt bad about it. I asked if you wanted to be with me! I guess what I am getting at is …. Did we just FUCK or did we make love?” He asked sitting up and looking me dead in the eye.


I look straight ahead and don’t answer.


“I think I got my answer.” He said at my reaction. “That alright!” he said nodding his head. “I knew in the back of my mind that is what it was. I guess it is a good thing, because now I don’t have to worry about telling my best friend that I am in love with the same girl he is in love with.”


Tears are now rolling down my face. I shake my head at him and say, “It wasn’t FUCKING!! I am not sure what it was, but it wasn’t fucking. It meant something, didn’t it? Tell me it didn’t mean anything to you?” I am now raising my voice and I get up out of bed and wrap myself with the sheet. “Tell me it didn’t mean anything to you Alex? Tell me?


He stares at me for another second a pulls me forcefully into a kiss. He kisses me hard for a few seconds and then pulls away. He looks me in the eye and say’s “I am in love with you.” I just stare at him. “Nick is also in love with you.” Still I say nothing. “You need to figure out who your are in love with!” he said matter of factly and turned around and walked out of the room.


When he walked out of the room he found Nick sitting in the hallway next to their door. Nick jumped up with AJ walked out.


“I heard you fucking her AJ.” Nick said quietly and surprisingly without anger.


“I am sorry.” AJ said sincerely, “But Nick I am in love with her.”


Nick nodded his head. “Is she in love with you?” he asked as he looked down at the ground.


“I don’t think so.” AJ answered shaking his head. “I think she is in love with you. I think the only reason why she slept with me tonight is because I wanted her, and she wanted to feel wanted.”


“I want her too.” Said Nick. “I just fucked up to badly for her to ever take me back. I don’t see us getting past me being so selfish.”


“I told her, she needed to decide what she wanted. She knows that I want her, and she knows that you want her. We just have to let her decide.”


Nick nodded and AJ turned and walked away. Nick knew he had to get to the bottom of it. He had to know if there was anything left. He knocked on the door and a few seconds later I answered it. My eyes are starting to swell from crying and I am shocked to see him at the door. “What do you want Nick? Have you come to make me feel like…” he pulled me up to him and kisses me forcefully but with such a soft touch. I pull away stunned and look at him in disbelief.


“Don’t pick AJ Dessie. Please forgive me. I fucked up.” He said as he pushed passed me and into the room. “I know I really fucked up. The guilt of you losing our baby because of me is killing me. Every time I see you, I think of how horrible I was to you. And now every time looks at you, I imagine you in bed with AJ.”


“Nick, I don’t want to talk about AJ. He and I are….”


“Sleeping together. You can’t lie to me Dess. I heard you tonight. I heard your moans and I heard AJ’s grunts. I know you were having sex.”


“But Nick it was…” I didn’t know what it was. It wasn’t NOTHING. It defiantly wasn’t NOTHING, but what was it?


“What was it Dess? Are you in love with him?” he asks with hurt in his eyes.


I shake my head no, but I say “I don’t know. I don’t know Nick. When I see you, I long for you. I hurt so badly every time I see you with another girl in your room. But when I am with AJ, I feel loved. I feel wanted. I don’t get that from you. All I got from you was rejections and a miscarriage.”


“So you want to be with him. You are falling for him and what we had is now history?”


“You chose that Nick, not me. You are the one who pushed me away. You are the one who rejected my love.”


“I am so sorry Dess.” Nick walked up to me and placed his hand on my face. “I miss you! I want you back. I want to start over.” He leaned over and softly kissed me and at that moment I wanted to forgive him so badly. But I couldn’t help but think of AJ. He had been there for me during my miscarriage and surgery. He had been there when Nick wasn’t. He was there unconditionally. I had just forced myself into his bed, and now I am thinking about jumping in bed with Nick. I was not that girl.


I pulled away from the kiss and look at him. “I don’t know if I can start over Nick. I don’t know if I want to. I do know that AJ has been my rock these last few weeks, while you were off ripping my heart out with a different girl every night. I don’t know what I want Nick. I don’t know when I will know.”


I look at him and he just nods in agreement. “OK, I will back off and give you time. I just really want you to know how much I regret ever asking you to have an abortion. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was being selfish and it was stupid of me. I am so sorry.”


“Thank you for telling me that. I just need some time to process it all” I walk away and turn and look back at him. “I miss you too.” I open the door so that he can leave. He walks out of the room and turns back and looks at me one more time sliding a small smile across face. I couldn’t help but return the smile.


I shut the door and walk over to the couch. I sit down and just stare at the wall. What was I going to do? Who did I really want to be with? Which one did I love more? Which one would love me more? Which one would cause me the least amount of pain? Which one would I cause the least amount of pain by not choosing? How does someone know what the right choice is? Does it just jump out at you?