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A few hours later AJ comes back into the room. I am still sitting on the couch with tears in my eyes. I am no closer to a decision than I was when he left. He came over and sat down on the couch next to me. I looked over at him as if I knew he were about to say something.


“I think that maybe you should forgive Nick. I mean I know that is what you want in your heart. I don’t want you to feel guilty for not loving me. I knew that you were going through a really rough time, and I should have never let myself fall in love with you.” He said all of these things and never once looked at me.


I couldn’t grasp what he was saying. Was he telling me to choose Nick? Was he saying that he didn’t want me to choose him? He finally looks at me and I realize that there are tears running down his checks. Did he really mean what he had said?


“But what if Nick isn’t the one in my heart anymore?” I ask looking him dead in the eye.


“Is he not?” AJ replied.


I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know; when I am with you it is like all of my troubles go away. You make me smile, you make me happy, not to mention you are making me fat with all of that McDonalds…” I say with a half laugh. “At the same time, when I see Nick I miss him. I still have feelings for him, but I don’t know if it is love, or if it is hate. I talked to him tonight.” I added looking back at AJ.


He sat up straight and looked back at me, “Yeah! What was said?”


“He said that he was terribly sorry for ever asking me to have an abortion. He told me that he was being extremely selfish. He asked me if we could start over.”


“What did you say?”


“I told him that I was confused and I did not know what I wanted. I told him that I needed time to figure things out in my head. And I told him that I missed him.”


“He didn’t try anything?”


“NO! I doubt he’d want to, knowing that we had just been together. He did kiss me though when I first opened the door.”


“Oh, did you kiss him back?”


“I don’t know, I guess maybe for a second, but then I pushed him back and asked what the fuck he was doing.”


“He is fighting for you!”


“And I guess by what you just said you aren’t going to?” I asked again tears welling in my eyes.


“I don’t like to fight for a girl. She either wants me or she doesn’t. I don’t have time for games.”


“I do want you!” I scream at him “…. It is just that I want him too…”


“Well you can’t have both, so make up your mind.” He stood up and started walking towards his bed.


“Alex?” I speak quietly “Can I still come home with you?”


He looked back and said, “I was really hoping that you would want to.”


I stood up and walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I gently kiss him and then whisper in his ear, “By the way, you were amazing tonight.”


I could feel his heart begin to beat faster and he leaned down and kissed me more passionately. I really did love the way his kissed me, it was almost like his lips were made for mine. How was it possible that when Nick kissed me earlier it felt just as perfect? I pulled myself away and looked up at AJ. I smiled and turned to walk into my bedroom.


“Good night, Dess.” He said sweetly.


“Goodnight Jay” I reply as I close my door.


THE NEXT MORNING


AJ and I wake up around 8am to leave for the US. We are both exhausted beings neither of us went to bed until 3am. I come out of my room just as AJ is coming out of his. We stand in the middle of the living area staring at each other for a second. He then puts his luggage down and wraps his arms around me. I look up and smile at him and he smiles back.


“Ready?” he asks sweetly.


“Yep.” I reply.


The flight to Orlando was horribly long. Lucky AJ reserved first class seating for us. Things were pretty cool between to two of us during the flight. We didn’t discuss the night before at all and just pretty much hung out like we were still just friends. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not, but I have to admit, I was really glad that there was no tension.


Once we arrived in Orlando it really felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. It had been months since I had been in the United States. I still had to find my way to Virginia to sign my final paperwork to get out of the military. I did most of it before leaving the ship, but I did need to actually be discharged.


AJ house was pretty amazing. I admit I expected it to be kind of off the wall styling; you know kind of like the way he dresses. However, it was nothing like that. The colors were very neutral. He had a huge leather sofa in the living room. There were quite a few art pieces hanging, and very beautiful beige area rug. The floor looks like bamboo hardwood, but I may be mistaken. The walls were two toned, with camel and caramel. The entertainment center was placed in the middle of the black wall. It was very organized and neat and not over furnished or cluttered.


The kitchen was very big. In the center sat an island on which the stove was at. Above that hung all of his pots which from what I could tell were copper. The counter tops were all black granite. The floors were marble. All of the appliances where stainless steal. I was in heaven in this kitchen. It was the kitchen of my dreams. I couldn’t wait to cook something for AJ.


He showed me my room which of course was better than any room I have ever had. The walls were a honey color and the décor was a sage green. In the middle of the room was a huge king size sleigh bed. There was an attached bathroom to the right of the room. To the left was a set of French doors that opened up to the balcony. From the balcony you could see the lake that AJ’s house sat next to. I walked out onto the balcony and took a deep breath. Thoughts of the last two months weed through my head. How did I manage to get two of the most sought after men in the world to want me? I'm not anyone special. I'm not very talented. I don’t come from a wealthy family. How did I get so lucky and so unlucky at the same time? How was I going to decide who my heart really belonged to?