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The next morning I woke up re-energized and excited about spending some time with Elle. That is really what I thought I needed, some quality girl time. I wanted to go shopping. I hadn’t bought a single thing for the baby yet, and although we didn’t know what I was having, I wanted to order all of the furniture and stuff. I was kind of with AJ in hoping that it is a girl. Girls are so much fun to dress, and you get to put them in ballet and gymnastics. I always wanted to do those things as a child, but missed out on a lot of it because my mom couldn’t afford it and my dad wasn’t really in the picture.

I got out of bed and got dressed, wearing one of the few outfits that I have that still fits me. I am right at my second trimester now, so I should really start to show now. I think that I am starting to feel it move, but it may just be gas. I have a lot of that lately too. Anyways, after I get dressed I go downstairs to find Elle already up and dresses sitting on the couch watching TV.

“Hey girly” I say excitedly “How did you sleep?”

“Morning….I slept good. The bed is sooo soft. You look so cute.” She replies.

“Thanks, I hardly have any clothes that fit me anymore. I seriously need to go shopping.”

“So what are we waiting for?”

“My thoughts exactly…”

We excitedly get in the car and head to the mall. Once we get to the mall, it is full on spending. I looked at some clothes in the maternity store, but I honestly couldn’t see myself wearing the majority of the stuff in there.

“Can’t they just make cute maternity clothes? Everything in here is so ugly. And the things that actually have cutes prints, is like a muu muu…” I say as Elle and I laugh at a shirt that I pull off of the rack.

I end up buying clothes from the normal stores, I just got bigger sizes. I would be damned if I turned into the dumpy pregnant girl. While we were in Wet Seal, I got the shock of my life.

“Hey aren’t you Dessie Hutson, Nick Carter’s girlfriend?” a girl asked who was standing next to me. I smile nicely at her, but do not say one way or another if her assumption is right.

“You are huh? Is it true that you are pregnant?”

I look at her again and then look down at my stomach, “Do I look pregnant?” I ask as I look back over at her.

“No.”

“Well then I guess you have your answer.” I say still smiling but starting to get a little annoyed.

“Well last night on TMZ they said that you were pregnant, but you weren’t sure who the daddy was.”

At this point I am really starting to get mad. “Oh really and who do they say the daddy is?”

“Actually they said that it might be AJ’s. All the tabloids are saying that you and Nick were split up and you were living with AJ when you found out you were pregnant.”

That was a lie; I was not living with AJ when I found out that I was pregnant. I bite my tongue and tell the girl, “See that is exactly why people shouldn’t rely on the tabloids as there source of truth. If I am indeed pregnant, I did not get that way at AJ’s house.”

With that I turn and walk away. This is just great. How in the hell does the paparazzi find this stuff out. We have been extremely careful, not to let it get out that I may be carrying AJ’s baby. We haven’t even confirmed the rumors that I am pregnant. I feel myself starting to panic as I think about how bad this can be for the group. My chest gets tight and I suddenly feel really light headed. With in seconds everything went black.

When I woke up I was at the hospital. I shot straight up in the bed and immediately started freaking out. “Oh my God, not again. Please not again.” I scream as I start crying.

Suddenly Elle, AJ, and Nick come rushing into the room. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Nick asks as he walks up beside my bed. He has a sincere look of concern on his face.

“The baby, please tell me that I didn’t lose the baby.” I sobbed.

“No, you didn’t lose the baby.” He said as he reached down and gently rubbed her face. “The baby is fine.”

I started to calm down a little, but I could still tell that something was wrong. “Well, then what is wrong?”

AJ walked up to the other side of the bed and sat down next to her. “They aren’t sure yet, but something is going on with your heart, kidneys, and liver. They aren’t functioning right. They have been running test for the last three day’s”

“Three day’s? But I was just in the mall a few hours ago. I remember that little bitch talking about me not knowing who the daddy of the baby is?’

“That was three day’s ago Dess” Elle replied with a concerned look on her face.“When you passed out in the hospital you were unresponsive until the paramedics got there. You weren’t even breathing. I did CPR on you. The doctors say it is a miracle that they were able to revive you. They didn’t know if you were going to come out of the coma or not, and if you did they said that you would probably have brain damage.”

I sat there staring at all of them in shock. What had I done to make myself so sick? Did I cause it? What is something that I did?

“Ummmm. What do they think I have?” I finally managed to say.

“It is called HELLP. It is a severe form of eclampcia. You blood and bodily fluids are attacking your organs. Your blood pressure is really high and you have way to much protein in your urine.” Elle said.

“So, they can fix it right. I am going to get better?” I say as my eyes fill with tears again.

“The only way to make it go away is to take the baby.” She replied.

“NO!” I say sternly. “I am not going to lose this baby too. I am not. Does this hurt the baby?”

“No, it doesn’t, but it can kill you Dess.” Nick said as he stood up and folded his arms across his chest. “I am not going to let you kill yourself over a baby that isn’t even in this world yet.”

“Shut up, Nick. Do not start that with me. You just see this as another way out.” I say coldly to him. “You told me just the other day that you wished that I wasn’t pregnant.”

He looked down at me and said, “Look Dess. I love you. I love you very much, and I just can’t not see myself sitting here watching you die to save a baby that I don’t even know if it is mine. We can always get pregnant again. We can do it the right way.”

I stare at him and I see that there really is fear in his eyes. I look over at AJ to see what his reaction is. There are tears falling down his cheeks.

“AJ…please tell me that you don’t agree with him?” I plead. “Dess, I am sorry, but Nick is right. This can kill you. It is really dangerous. The doctor said that like 70% of the women who get HELLP die if they don’t terminate….You know how excited I was about the baby, but Dess, it really isn’t worth your life.”

“I can’t do it. I just can’t. It goes against everything I believe. God will take care of me. I am not going to die. I am going to get to meet my baby.”

Nick and AJ just stared off for a few minutes and then from out of nowhere Nick said, “Ok…. I am here then. I support you. Anything you need. We will get a nurse to move into the house and take care of you when I can’t be there, hell even when I am there. If you are going to beat this we have to get all of the best doctors.”

I look over at Nick and I finally feel that Nick actually meant it when he said that he supported me. “Thank you Nick. Knowing that I have your support is defiantly going to help me beat it.”

“I am here for you too, Dess.” AJ said as he held her hand. I smile at him, and then suddenly see his face light up.

I smile back at him “What is that smile for?”

“Do you wanna know what you are having?” he asked suddenly excited.

“How do you know?”

“They did an ultrasound on you when we first got here. They said that at 14 weeks the can sometimes tell what you are having. When they asked if we wanted to know, I said yes.”

“Really….what is it?”

“It’s a girl!!!” he said grinning from ear to ear. I return the smile. I look over at Nick who also has a smile on his face. He wasn't as excited as AJ but you tell that he was happy.

So, I had to stay in the hospital for a week. It was confirmed that I had HELLP. I had to have weekly dialysis done for my kidneys and liver, and I also had to be put on blood pressure medication. The doctors also started me on a steroid to help develop Presley’s lungs. They were going to take her by c-section at 28 weeks. The doctors said that after 28 weeks she had a better chance of surviving out of me than in me, and that around that time is when I would start having seizures because of the HELLP. Nick did as he said and hired a Home Health Nurse to stay with us.

Nick and AJ had to return to work a week after I got out of the hospital and Elle had to go back to the Navy.I tried my best to take it easy and not cause any unneeded stress. I had some really bad day’s, but there were also day’s when I felt fine. I woke up one Tuesday morning excited about the day. It was Valentine’s day. Nick returned home the day before and said that he had big plans for the day. So of course that made me really excited. I get up and stare at my belly in the mirror. It was defiantly big.

I was now 24 weeks pregnant and only had 4 more weeks before Presley would be here. I walked into the bathroom and was surprised to find Nick sitting on the toilet running water into the tub. He had rose petals all in the water. He smiled up at me when he noticed that I was there. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me. We still hadn’t been intimate again, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to. I look at him and I can see that maybe he also wants to. He pulls me into him and he kisses me deeply the kind of kiss that he used to give to me. He starts to take my clothes off. I take a deep breath and hold it as I enjoy the small kisses he is planting on me as he disgaurds each piece to the floor. Once he has me totally naked. He places his hands on my stomach and looks at me dead in the eye.

“Your tummy is beautiful. I never thought a pregnant stomach could be so sexy.”

I laugh as he kisses me again.

“Today, I am going to treat you like a queen. I am going to treat you, like I should have been treating you all along.”

I nod my head ok as he instructs me to get into the tub. I get in and then Nick sis in behind me. I lean my body up against him as he rubs my shoulders “Umm that feels good baby.”

HE gets out after a few minutes and tells me to come downstairs when I am finished. I finish my bath and put some clothes on. As I am walking down the stairs I smell coffee, and I am pretty sure that I smell pancakes. I love pancakes. As I round the corner into the I see Nick putting the finishing touches on what appeared to be pancakes with fruit topping. He asked me to sit down and he places my plate in front of me. It was so good. They were my favorite, buttermilk pancakes with apple cinnamon topping. The rest of the day went the same way. Perfect. Finally it was the evening and we were going out for dinner. I dressed as sexy as I could being six months pregnant. Nick seemed to be pleased. We took a limo to Dreas, one of Nick’s favorite restaurants. It is on North Reddington Beach, not far from Tampa. Nick even pulled my chair out for me. As we sat there at dinner, I could tell that Nick was nervous about something, although I figured he was just trying really hard to be nice to me on Valentines.

After we had out entrees Nick had out desserts delivered. I got the shock of my life as opened the dish. There was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

“Nick… what….” I started to say as he got up and walked to my side of the table and got down on one knee.

“Desiree Hutson, in the 10 months that I have known you, you have completely changed my life. You are single handedly responsible for me growing up and finally becoming a man. I want to marry you. I want to marry you before the baby gets here, so that one way or another that baby is still mine. Even if it is AJ’s, I can still be the daddy. I don’t want you to think that I feel that I have to marry you, and I don’t want you to think that I am waiting to see if Presley is mine. It doesn’t matter. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears are flowing down my checks at this point. I can not control the emotions.

“Yes!” I manage to choke out. “I would be honored to marry you.”