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The following week went by so slowly. I’m pretty much completely healed from the surgery. I just hung around in AJ’s room trying my best to avoid Nick. I still don’t understand how things went south so quickly. AJ told me that Nick isn’t really doing that good either. He said that he thinks Nick is trying to make it seem like he doesn’t care, but in reality he really does. I don’t know if I believe that or not. To me it seems like he has already moved on. In the last week he has had three different girls in his room overnight. I decided not to bother warning them. I felt bad about it, but I just couldn’t face Nick anymore.


AJ has been my rock though. He has done everything possible to make sure that I am comfortable and he is trying to get me to smile more often. I admit I am starting to care a lot about him. I think he likes me too. I just really think it would be a bad idea to get involved with him after what I have been through with Nick.


We will be going back to the States tomorrow. Thank God. I am so ready to be around people who speak English! And to get away from Nick will help a lot. It is too hard to get over him when I see him everyday.


I am just hanging out right now, watching TV. The boys are at the Studio tying up all the loose ends for the new album. AJ let me listen to a few of the tracks and I must say I love it. Their music has really matured over the last few albums. I hadn’t realized that Kevin was no longer really part of the group. He isn’t singing with the group anymore. He has only been around lately to do a little bit of producing. AJ said that he really wanted to spend more time with his family and being in the group was taking up to much of his time. It saddens me, but I understand.


STUDIO


“So Jay, what are your plans for our time off?” asked Howie while reviewing the tracks for the new album.


“Not much.” He replied. “Dessie is coming back with me so I guess I will be spending a lot of time with her.”


“Does Nick know?” Howie asked raising his eyebrow.


“Yea, he knows. Why do you think he isn’t talking to me?”


“Do you have a thing for her?”


“I don’t know what I have for her. I know that I think Nick seriously fucked up by letting her go. I still can’t believe he acted the way he did.”


“Yeah, no shit! I don’t know much, but from what Brian told me, Nick should feel really shitty about the whole thing.”


“I know...” AJ replied shaking his head. “You should have seen how horrible Dess was after it happened. She practically cried for days. And Nick didn’t even call her while she was in the hospital to check on her. It is like he is a different person. I mean, I understand him not wanting to be a father yet, but to give a girl and ultimatum of get an abortion or I am through with you, is so fucked up!”


Nick walked up just as Howie went to reply. “Why can’t you just let it go, AJ?” asked Nick with anger in his eyes.


“How can you let it go so easily?” he replied.


“I didn’t let it go easy. I am still trying to get past all of this. But no, you won’t let it go. I have to see her everyday because you have her staying with you. To think that she may be fucking you makes me sick. I can’t believe that you have taken her side in all of this. You are supposed to be my friend” he screamed at AJ.


“I am your friend Nick! But there is no way in hell I am going to sit back and watch you screw her over. I really care about her a lot, and frankly I could give a fuck whether or not you think I am fucking her!”


“Are you?” he asked. AJ just stared at Nick. “I am going to ask one more time. ARE YOU FUCKING DESSIE?”


AJ stood up and got right in Nicks face and said “It is none of your fucking business who I am fucking.”


“I fucking knew it!” yelled Nick as he turned and punched the wall. “You’re fucking her. That fucking slut!” Nick stormed out of the studio.


AJ turned and looked at the rest of the guys and said, “I am not fucking her….. Just incase you guys were wondering.”


Brian threw up his hands “None of my business.” He said looking away.


Kevin just looked away as if he were ignoring the whole situation.


Howie grinned and said “Maybe not, but you want to.”


AJ let a grin slide across his face as he sat down next to his best friend “OK maybe a little part of me thinks about it.”


“A little part?” asked Howie doubtfully.


“OK….. I am constantly thinking about it. I think she kind of has a thing for me too. I just don’t want to come on to strong, you know with her going through all of this stuff with Nick. I don’t want to be some rebound guy.”



“Don’t you think that is what it will be, even if you wait awhile? I mean I would be worried that she would only be hooking up with you to get back at Nick.”


“I really don’t think she is that type of girl. I don’t see her pretending to care for me just to make Nick mad. If we do hook up, it will be because she likes me.” AJ replied with certainty.


The guys finished up at the studio and headed back to the Room. AJ stopped off and got us something to eat. Thank God it wasn’t more fast food. I didn’t think I could handle anymore McDonalds.


“Hey Jay!” I say to him as he walks in the room. “You look tired…did you have a long day.”


“Yeah, I did. And I had another fight with Nick.” He said raising his eyes.


“Surprise, surprise!” I reply rolling my eyes.


“For some reason he just can’t let go of the idea that we are sleeping together.”


“Why does he care? I mean he is the one who didn’t want to be with me anymore. What does it matter to him who I am sleeping with?” I ask confused.


“Dess, it is like this...” AJ said as he sat down next to me, “guys always hate it when they see a girl that they have dated with someone else. Even if he no longer wants her, he still wants her to want him. It is an ego thing. With Nick it is making it worse because he thinks that one of his best friends is trying to get the girl.”


“Oh” I pause for a second then look up, “What if the girl wants the best friend?”


AJ suddenly looked really nervous, almost like he didn’t know what to say. “Umm…what are you saying Dess?”


“I don’t know, I am feeling a little confused. I think that I am developing feelings for you, but then when I see Nick my heart still hurts so badly. I don’t know what I am really feeling anymore.” I say as my eyes begin to feel with tears.


“Look Dess, I think you are a great girl, and I find you very interesting and extremely good-looking, but I really can’t see myself getting involved with you while you are still hung up on Nick.”


I move closer to him and look him in the eye. “I am not hung up on Nick, I am hurt.”


He stares at me and for a moment I think he may kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. It would help so much. I could just push Nick out of my mind and start over with AJ. Our eyes held each others for a few minutes, but he quickly got up and walked away.



“Let’s go get drunk and have a good time. We are leaving tomorrow, so this will be our last chance to party in Stockholm.”


“Ok” I reply with a little bit of hurt in my voice. “Let me get changed.”


I quickly get dressed and check myself in the mirror. My color was finally coming back to my face and I didn’t look so sick anymore. I applied a little bit of mascara and lip-gloss and walked into the living room were AJ was waiting.


“WOW! You look amazing.” He said looking me up and down. I had on a short black dress that hugged all of the curves of my body. I paired it with a pair of red heals, and a red necklace.


“Thanks, I don’t really have that much stuff that is club worthy.” I say shrugging.


“I think you look fantastic.” He replied standing up, “Shall we?” he reached his hand out and took mine.


The ride to the club was rather short, only about five minutes. Once we got there we were taken straight to the VIP room. AJ ordered a few bottle of alcohol and took me out to the dance floor. “Show me those moves you had the last time we danced together.” He said grinning at me.


“You liked those huh?” I replied grinning back.


“UMMM….yeah, just a little.” He said as he used his fingers to show me how much he like it.


We dance for a few minutes and then sit down a have a few drinks. Once we have loosened up a little we really start having a good time. People keep coming up and asking if we are a couple and we just smile and keep talking or laughing about whatever subject we are on. It doesn’t take to long before I am sitting on his lap and I am whispering in his ear. I look towards the door and see Nick walk in. He hadn’t seen me and neither had AJ.



I grab AJ hand and pull him to the dance floor. We are pretty wasted and find ourselves slow dancing to the fast music. I look up at him and smile. He smiles back. I want him to kiss me so bad, if only he would just do it. I can see in his eyes that he wants to. I lay my head over onto his chest and I can hear his heart beating. I look up into his eyes and he lowers his head and his lips brush across mine. He pulls back and looks at me and I lean in and kiss him harder. I feel him pull me in closer to his body as his tongue flicks into my mouth.


“What the fuck?” we hear as we pull apart. “I knew it. I knew you weren’t just friends. I knew you were fucking her!” Nick said as he walked up his hands in a fist ready to fight.


“Man, I am not….” Nick swung at AJ, but AJ moved back and missed the punch. “Nick, what the hell is your problem?”



“What’s my problem? What’s my problem? You are fucking my girl! That is my problem!” He said getting even angrier.


“Last time I checked Nick, she wasn’t your girl. Actually the last time I checked you were bringing a different girl to your room every night, while she lay in bed crying. What makes you think that you can do whatever the hell you want and then dictate what she does?”


Nick stared back at him and then looked over at me. “Are you fucking him Dessie? Tell me! Tell me you are fucking him. I want to hear it from you.”


I look him dead in the eye and say, “I can’t say that Nick, as much as I would love to tell you that I am fucking him to piss you off. I am not. He won’t do it. He loves you too much.”


Nick stares at me for a second and then say’s “Why do you have to hang around here? Why can’t you just leave so I can fucking move on?”


“How am I stopping you from moving on? I stay out of your way. I don’t speak to you, I don’t come to your room, and I avoid you at all cost. How am I stopping you?”


“Just stay away from AJ!”


AJ stepped in and said, “I don’t think so Nick. You aren’t winning this time. She is staying with me. End of story. Get over it.”


Nick turned and stormed off. I turned towards AJ and looked him dead in the eye. I so badly wanted him to take me back to the room and fuck me just in spite of Nick, but I knew he would never go for it. Instead, I smiled and leaned up and kissed him right on the lips. He pushed me back for a second and looked at me before pulling me back into his arms and holding me tight.


After the incident with Nick, I started downing drink after drink. For every shot that I had, AJ had two. We were totally and utterly obliterated. I stood up and grabbed AJ’s hand. “Let’s go back to the room. We can finish our party there” I say pulling him up. He didn’t reject my gesture and he headed back to the room. I was feeling extremely gutsy and I knew exactly what I wanted when we got there. As I waited for AJ to find the key, I grabbed the keys in my hand and pushed him up against the wall and then pushed myself up against him. I grabbed his face and pulled it to mine. I forcefully kissed him and he returned by pulling me up into him.


I pull myself away and look him dead in the eye. “I want you.” I simply say.


He stares at me and starts to say something, but I speak instead. “Don’t say anything. This doesn’t have to mean anything. We can simply fuck if that is what you want, but I want you. Now!”