"I shouldn't have come out.  I don't know why I let you two talk me into it.  I feel like crap," Katie whined.

"Aww, I'm sorry hon," Kristin put a hand on Katie's back, softly rubbing in a comforting gesture.  "Do you want one of us to take you home?"

Leighanne nodded her agreement that one of them would be happy to take Katie back home.  She didn't want to keep her ill friend out any more than her ill friend probably wanted to stay out.  It wouldn't be a problem to reschedule their lunch, they just wanted Katie to feel better.

"No...I'm already here," Katie sighed.  She just wanted to get this lunch over with.

They Boys were all overseas on a short promotional tour, so the girls had started having lunches once a week.  They told each other it was just to keep them all from going insane from loneliness, but they all knew that wasn't the full truth.

The girls always started their lunches with updates.  Who got a phone call, where were the Boys, was everyone okay and behaving?  The girls were able to keep better tabs on their Boys this way.  They didn't always have the opportunity to call every day, so if one of the girls didn't get a call one day it was almost inevitable that one of the others did.  Between the three of them, the girls always knew that their Boys were safe and behaving.

It had been a little over a week at this point since the girls had gone to lunch.  Kristin had gone out of town for some last minute work thing, so their original lunch a few days earlier had been postponed.  Katie told herself this was the only reason she'd agreed to go out, but she knew that she was lying to herself.  She did want to catch up with her new friends, but the reasons ran deeper than this.

Beth and Joe had lived in one of AJ's guest room for about a week before they found and moved into their perfect first house.  Katie hadn't seen much of her best friend since she'd gone over to help them unpack and settle in that week.  The Boys had left for their tour shortly after, so Katie had been busy getting her ‘AJ fix' before he left for several weeks.  After that the girls always seemed to be available at staggered times.  Katie would have something going on when Beth was available, and vice versa.  They'd talked on the phone almost daily, but after living together since freshman year of college...it just wasn't the same.

Beth hadn't seemed to notice as much.  She was enjoying the new living situation.  She didn't have to go to Joe's house, or hide in her room if they wanted to do something more...personal.  She'd also had a new job, and this was keeping her pretty busy, too.  It had been rough on Katie though.  She wasn't used to not having her best friend, and now her boyfriend was gone, too.  It made it worse because she really needed her best friend right now.

"I'll be fine to make it through lunch.  I can't promise I won't have to run to the bathroom to throw up."

"You should've told us you were that sick!"

"Do you have a fever?" Leighanne reached over the table to feel Katie's forehead like a mother would her child.  "Let us take you home."

"No fever.  I dunno.  I'll be fine."

She was.  She forced her way through lunch, feeling a bit nauseous the whole time.  It didn't help that Kristin and Leighanne watched Katie like a hawk the entire time either.  Katie just forced herself to fake okay and hoped that the two wouldn't figure out what was wrong with her.  She wasn't one hundred percent sure, but Katie thought she knew what was going on.  She just wasn't sure she was ready to discuss it with her two new friends yet.

It was definitely possible.  The signs were all there.  The words her mother spoke during that dreadful ‘sex talk' had popped into Katie's head. ‘It only takes once!'  Why, oh why couldn't her mother be wrong?  And she wasn't even here to help her through this.  Katie wished it wasn't true, but deep down she knew it was.  It was the only explanation.  Katie was pregnant.

That's why she needed her best friend.  And that's why she had reluctantly agreed to this lunch even though she felt horrible.  She wasn't ready to outright tell the girls, and she wasn't sure she was ready to talk about it at all, but deep down Katie hoped one of them would figure it out.  If one of them figured it out, Katie would have someone to finally talk to.  She'd been sitting on this suspicion for almost a week now, and she'd yet to take a test or tell anyone at all.  But if either of the girls had caught on at all, neither was saying a word.

*****

She stopped at a drug store on the way home from lunch.  Actually, it was a bit out of her way, but she didn't want to be seen buying a home pregnancy test by anyone she would know.  Not that she knew a lot of people.  She had equal chance of being recognized by a Backstreet fan no matter where she went.  Her face was out there.  Either way she was screwed, but her immediate thought had been to go somewhere not close to home.

It was time for her to take this test.  She had to know for sure before she said anything to AJ.  No, that wasn't true.  She had to know for sure before she allowed herself to accept it.  Then she could tell AJ.  She needed to figure out what she was going to do.  Once that was taken care of she could tell AJ.

So many different thoughts were running through her mind as she drove home.  She had to think about this from two different perspectives.  What if AJ didn't want to be a daddy yet?  He wouldn't ditch her though.  Katie wanted to trust him, to know that he would do what he had to do, and things would be fine.  She was getting there.  It was just taking a while.  Living in an abusive relationship could mess your trust up.

One the one hand, AJ could say he wasn't ready and effectively end the relationship right then and there.  Would she keep the baby?  Would she even be able to keep the baby if that was the case?  Katie knew she'd love the baby no matter what, but she was worried about providing a good life for a child.  Being a single mom wouldn't be easy, especially when she didn't have a career or stable job.

Katie hadn't finished college.  Dane hadn't liked some of the guys in her classes, and he was suspicious of one of the teacher's assistants.  He'd demanded she drop her classes, and she just never went back.  Just another reason to hate him.

But maybe he would be okay with it.  She didn't expect him to wrap her up in his arms and proclaim his undying love for her and propose to her on the spot.  She wasn't stupid.  Katie knew it might take a little time for him to come around to it, but the AJ she knew would be okay.  She just had to keep reminding herself of that.

None of that mattered, though, until she peed on that little plastic stick and got the result.

Katie pulled into AJ's driveway, parked the car and got out.  Once she was safely inside the house, Katie pulled the small box from her purse.  Standing in the foyer, she kept willing her legs to take her to the bathroom, but they wouldn't move.  She just stood there, staring blankly at the box.

This was not how Katie had imagined all of this going down.  She was supposed to be married.  She was supposed to be trying to get pregnant, happy about telling her friends, not terrified of it all.

Startled, Katie found herself in the bathroom, the open box on the vanity counter and the directions in her shaking hands.  She silently read the directions, though none of it was being processed.  The whole time she was thinking ‘And I'm supposed to remember all of this when all I can think about his how much my life could be changing?'  She pushed the thought from her mind and re-read the directions.  Understanding them enough to follow through, Katie pulled out the little plastic stick, positioned it as the directions stated and that was that.

The directions said to wait five minutes.  Not an easy thing to do when you're trying to figure out if you have a little person growing inside of you.  The minutes seemed more like hours.  Hours Katie wished would hurry up and end, but that she also wished would never pass.  She wanted to get it over with and know already, and throw that damn stick out the window and never know at the same time.

Finally the timer rang.  The beeping startled Katie, making her jump.  Her heart leapt up into her throat.  She picked up the test and felt like she was moving in slow motion.  She squeezed her eyes shut before she could see.  She needed to prepare herself.

"One...two...three," Katie whispered, cracking her right eye open on three.

There it was.  Two little lines.

"I'm pregnant," Katie gasped.  It was real now.  "Oh wow...I'm pregnant."