~September 16, 2002~

"Do you think long distance relationships work?"

"I...uh...what?" AJ pulled the phone from his ear and looked at it confused.

"Long distance relationships.  Do you think they work?"

"I don't know...why?"

"I was just thinking...sorry I asked," Katie sighed.

AJ had left, going on the next small spurt of CD signings and other official Backstreet business.  He and Katie had talked here and there when he had time or wasn't too exhausted.  He was home now though.

He'd gotten home late the night before and gone straight to bed.  He called Katie the following morning.  Okay, it was afternoon, but it was his day off, so he slept in.  Good thing, too, since she was springing this quite random question on him.

"No, no, don't be sorry.  It was just...random, that's all.  I thought we'd decided that you weren't ready for a relationship?"

"We did.  And I'm not.  Like I said, I was just thinking.  Have you ever had a good long distance relationship?"

"Well, no, not a good one.  I've never really wanted any of my relationships to last enough to put in the work that is involved though.  It wasn't worth it for me."

"But if it was worth it?"

"What's with the questions?"

"I'm just asking."

"In case you decide you are ready for a relationship and it happens to be a long distance relationship?"

"No...I was just curious," Katie said, trying to occupy her hands, doodling on the scrap paper kept by the phone.  She knew why she was asking, and she was pretty sure he knew why, too.  She was just hoping he wouldn't get into it.

She really wasn't ready yet, but she wanted to know now.  There was no point in letter herself fall for a guy that lived across the country if he had no interest in a long distance relationship. 

She'd gone back to her apartment, Beth joining her, when AJ left.  It hadn't been easy, but Katie knew she'd needed to try to move on from...him.

***

"If you don't go back, you're letting him win," Beth reasoned.

"But...I don't know...damnit, I just don't know if I can."

"Katie, you have to.  Are you going to let him keep controlling your life?"

"No," Katie mumbled, then more strong, "No.  He's done controlling my life."

"You're letting him keep running your life if you keep hiding from it...instead of dealing with it."

"I know.  Okay."

***

She'd barely slept the first night back in her apartment.  Every sound made her jump.  She hadn't realized how much she had needed AJ, how much he'd been helping her.  But it had gotten progressively easier as the nights went on.

"Katie?  You still there?" AJ asked.

"What?  Oh, yeah.  Sorry...drifting.  What were you saying?"

"If I wanted it to work, and the girl wanted it to work, and we were willing to put in the work to get it to work...yeah, it could happen."

"I don't think you used the word work enough in that sentence," Katie joked, trying to remember what exactly he was talking about.

AJ rolled his eyes, letting a half laugh-half groan escape, "I have a hypothetical for you then, since we're asking ‘just curious' questions.  If we were dating-hypothetically-do you think we could make it work?  A normal long distance relationship is one thing, but it's different with one half of the couple being celebrity.  Could you deal with the times I went on the road and you didn't come with me?"

"Since this is a hypothetical question and all...I think that if we had what we needed, and we both wanted it to work...sure.  As long as we both trusted each other, loved each other, and there were open lines of communication, I think we could do it.  Might be difficult, but it has to work for someone."

"Good to know."

"Are we done with the hypothetical conversation now?"

"Hey, you're the one who started it," AJ laughed.  He closed his eyes, trying to remember what she smelled like.  He'd spent every night he was with her trying to keep her calm and relaxed.  He may have succeeded in that, but he also succeeded in getting himself in deep with her.

"Been sleeping any better?" he asked her.

"A little I guess.  Sort of," Katie sighed, then admitted, "No.  I can't sleep.  Every sound freaks me out."

"You'll be okay."

"Yeah...I guess so."

***

AJ had a short break.  A whole day!  They had an emergency meeting scheduled.  AJ was sure he should know what it was about.  He didn't have the slightest clue.  Nor did he really have the desire to attend said meeting.  It was his damn vacation!

"Nice to see you this morning!" Kevin scolded the perpetually late AJ.

"Traffic sucked.  Can we get this over with?  I'd like to finish enjoying my short time off," AJ grumbled as he made his way into the board room.  The other four Boys were already there, waiting for AJ.

Kevin mumbled something under his breath, but AJ wasn't in the mood to argue.  He took a seat and waited for someone to get things started, to remind him what they were doing here.

"The VMA's are coming up soon," Brian started.

"They want us to perform our single," Kevin finished.

AJ nodded absently, his mind elsewhere.  The other four discussed their possible upcoming performance while AJ pretended to participate.

"Hey Bone!" Nick yelled, tossing a couch pillow at his head.

"What the fuck dude!" AJ protested, after being abruptly pulled from his thoughts of...Katie...

"The better you stay with us, the faster you can get out of here.  Unless you'd like to skip it?"

"Skip what?"

Brian clenched his fists at his sides in frustration, taking deep breaths to calm himself, "The VMA's."

"Yes!" AJ exclaimed excitedly.

"A little excited about the VMA's, man?" Howie laughed.

"Oh, um...sorry.  Just had an idea.  VMA's...performing...sounds great."

"Careful, AJ's thinking.  Don't get too close," Nick laughed hysterically at his own joke.

AJ glared at him.

"It's you we have to be careful around, Nicky, not AJ," Howie patted the younger but taller blond on the back.

The five sat in the board room, ironing out the details.

***

Katie sat in her living room, curled on the couch, television on.  She wasn't really watching much, more paying attention to the sounds the wind was making.  She was home alone, so any sounds scared her even more.  Katie was attempting to identify each new sound, her logic telling her that it was just the wind and trees and...but that other part of her brain kept telling her that it wasn't.

She flipped the channels again, landing on MTV and one of their news briefs.

"Hey everyone, I'm Gideon Yago and this is an MTV News Brief.  Nominations for the VMA's were announced yesterday.  Heading the nominations for this year's awards is newcomer Michelle Branch with six nominations.  Eminem, Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys follow close behind with five nominations each.  The first three performers for this year's show have also been confirmed.  Shakira, Christina Aguilera and the Backstreet Boys will be performing their newest singles at this year's Video Music Awards, hosted by Chris Rock.  For more news on this and other stories, log on to MTV dot com and stay tuned for more news at ten to the hour here on MTV."

Katie smiled to herself.  She was excited to watch the awards show, seeing the Boys perform their latest single, rooting them on for their awards.

Katie was sure AJ had to have heard already, so wanted to call and congratulate him.

"Hello?"

"Don't we sound excited?" Katie smiled at the sound of his voice.

"We are excited."

"Would that be because of the VMA's?"

"What'd you hear?" AJ asked.

"Five nominations and a performance."

"Oh yeah.  It's awesome.  Just have to find a date now," AJ hinted lightly.

"I'm sure you'll have no problem.  There are probably a million girls who'd love to go with you."

"What about you?" he asked.

"What about me?"

"You wanna go?"

"Are you crazy?  I'm so not the dress up and go to an awards show girl."

"So you don't want to go then?" AJ asked, trying to hide the hurt in his voice.  They were just friends.

"Of course I'd want to go."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm in the wrong part of the country," Katie simply answered.

"There's this new invention.  I believe it's called the air plane.  It'll get you to New York in no time.  Next."

"Air plane, is it?  Sounds expensive."

"It's covered.  You're my date."

"I can't let you do that.  Plus, I have nothing to wear to an awards show."

"Other new invention.  A store.  You buy clothes there.  I'm sure Brian and Kevin's wives would love to take you shopping, help you pick something out."

"Again, exp-"

"Expensive.  I know.  Like I said, it's covered."

"No.  I am not letting you fly me to New York, and buy me clothes."

"Why not?  It's not like I can't afford it."

"I...because...you...crap."

"Exactly.  I would like you to be my date.  We'll get everything taken care of, don't worry about it."

"As friends though, right?"

AJ hesitated a minute, but agreed, "Just friends.  I'd rather have a friend as a date than a dumb blonde stranger."

"What, not dumb brunette strangers?" Katie laughed.

She was going to see him again.  That thought put a smile on her face that she knew shouldn't be as big as it was.  She was getting herself in deep.