He slowly walked up to his house, sheer exhaustion claiming his mind and his body. He fished his house keys out of his pocket as he glanced around cautiously, wondering and hoping none of those SEC guys were around to attempt to abduct them again. Sighing heavily, he pushed his key into the lock and opened his door, kicking it close as he quickly rushed in to deactivate his house alarm.

Once it was deactivated, he turned around to stare at his empty house through the dark. Blindly, he walked over to his wall, groping it to find the light switch. As soon as he found it, he flipped the switch on, slightly wincing at the sudden burst of light that illuminated throughout his house. He made his way into his living room, suddenly eyeing everything that decorated the space, seething when he noticed that everything was family related; portraits, memorabilia, gifts… his living room was decorated with everything that reminded him of his past, a past he recently found out was nothing but a lie.

He shout out to this first thing he could get his hands on, which happened to be the pictures that were placed on the end tables next to the couches and chairs, and pushed all the frames off the table, watching as it clattered to the ground. Unsatisfied, he slammed his foot down on to each and every photo frame he pushed off the table, feeling a little relieved at the sound of glass shattering and grinding under the weight of his foot.

He looked down at the mess he made and realized that it still wasn’t enough, for there was still a picture of him and his “supposed” family underneath the shards of glass. He made his way over towards his mantelpiece and began to shove everything off of that as well, making sure he either broke the object or completely destroyed it. He was now on a rampage with his own house, determined to get everything that was a lie out of his sight.

After what seemed like forever, he finally forced himself to stop ravaging his living room. Breathing heavily, he looked his destruction over, still not feeling satisfied, still feeling pain, hurt, anger… betrayal. He allowed himself to collapse to his knees, letting everything he had been holding in out through his tears. Unlike AJ, he wasn’t sure how to react upon learning about his real past, who he really was. He didn’t want them to witness how much this was tearing him up on the inside, so he decided to put his guards up, have his tough exterior keep everyone at bay. Now that he was alone, reality was finally able to sink in and he was able to let everything go.

Through blurry eyes, he glanced down at a pile of glistening shards near him, staring down at the picture that laid beneath it. He gingerly began to brush away the tiny pieces of glass, grasping the photo and shaking the remnants off. He bit his bottom lip as he looked the picture of his family over, desperately trying to fight the heavy emotion that was trying to overcome him once again.

He sighed heavily; at the moment he wasn’t getting along with his parents, he went as far as saying that he even hated them for what they had done and how they had managed to tear this family apart, but he couldn’t deny how much these two played a role in his life, despite the animosity he felt towards them at the moment. His eyes wandered over to his siblings, feeling a faint grin tug at the corner of his lips for the first time.

The five of them had been through so much growing up, from constantly fighting with each other to trying to drive each other crazy, but through it all they managed to remain together and withstand anything and everything life had to throw at them. What they had been through, from their sudden money hungry parents to them being a household name, they had grown to realize that they needed each other more than ever, more than anything, and that had made their bond and their love for each other grow with every testing moment. No matter what anyone said, whether the life he lived before was a lie or not, these four were his siblings, his family, his everything, and he loved them with his life.

That last thought broke him out of his trance and brought him back to reality. He let the photo slip from his hand and flutter back down to the ground. Now that he was able to release everything that he had pent up, he was ready to delve deeper and get more answers, but the only problem was he didn’t know who to turn to. His mother and father were out of the question, which only left one person he could turn to, and he could only hope that she could answer at least some of his questions.

He pushed himself up from the ground and made his way over to his house phone, ignoring the fact that he was walking over a trail of shattered glass. He grabbed the phone and simply stared at it, suddenly second guessing what he was about to do. If she did have the answers to his questions, did he really want to hear it or would he be fine going on, continuing to live his life how it was, ignoring what he’s been told that was threatening to change everything. Without thinking twice, he dialed the number, and waited patiently for her to answer.

After the fourth ring, a voice finally answered the phone. “Hello?”

“BJ?”

~*~*~*~

“Hi honey, how are you doing?”

He took a deep breath in and sighed heavily, “Good I guess…”

There was a slight pause on the other end. “A mother knows the sound of her son’s voice, and I know you sound anything but good right now Howard.”

Howie slightly winced at hearing her statement. Knowing what he knew, and having her not know what he knew made him feel extremely uncomfortable, especially after hearing her saying that she, as a mother, knew the sound of his voice.

“I’m okay mom, just… tired is all.” he said with a slight smile. Normally, he would automatically feel at peace whenever he heard the comforting voice of his mother, but now he was contemplating the feelings that were running through him at that moment, which he couldn’t exactly pinpoint how he felt, and that made him sick to his stomach.

“Well, if you’re tired sweetie, why don’t you go to sleep?” she answered with a slight chuckle.

“I don’t know… just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Howard.” he heard her say in a light scolding tone. “Now I know there’s something on your mind. It’s unlike you to call me just to tell me you’re tired and want to hear my voice. Now, what’s the matter sweetheart?”

He took a deep breath in, how was he suppose to get this out? Was he to simply come out and tell her everything he was told tonight? Was he to start off by asking her where he really came from and who his real parents were? Would she tell him the truth if he were to do anything of these things? “Mom, I…” he paused, this wasn’t right. “something happened tonight, and I need have a talk with you and dad.”

She lightly gasped, “What is it Howard? Are you alright? Please tell me what happened…”

Howie closed his eyes, “Everything’s okay, I’m okay, it’s just… I don’t think this is something that should be discussed over the phone.”

“Well, do you want to come up tonight honey? You know you’re more than welcomed to, your father is still awake and I can tell him that you need to talk to us and we can…”

“Mom!” Howie interjected. “Please, calm down. What I want to talk about with you guys isn’t anything life threatening, it’s not even something extremely important, I just had a few questions I wanted to ask you guys and discuss a few things.”

He heard her release a heavy sigh, “Howard, please tell me what this is all about. I know you’re telling me it’s nothing but a few questions and a discussion you want to hold, but as a mother I have a right to be overly concerned.”

Howie took a deep shuddering breath and bit his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. “I know mom, but please believe me when I say it’s nothing to have you concerned about. It’s something that can wait until tomorrow, and I promise you I’ll be at your house first thing tomorrow morning to have this little discussion, okay?”

She remained silent for the longest, as if contemplating whether she should keep pushing him into telling her what he wanted to talk about. “Howard, as long as you promise me that you’re okay and everything will be okay.”

Howie squeezed his eyes shut, furiously blinking away the tears that welled up in his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he was okay, he wasn’t even sure if everything would even be okay, but he had to do the absolute last thing he ever wanted to do to her; lie. “I’m okay mom… and everything will be okay.”

“Okay baby, then I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Howie nodded, “Okay.”

“Howard?”

“Yes?”

There was a lengthy pause before she finally spoke. “I love you son.”

Howie could no longer keep it in. Tears cascaded freely down his face as he tried his best to choke back his sobs and keep it from affecting his voice.

“I love you too mom.”

~*~*~*~

He placed his head against the window as he watched everything pass him by. The trees and people they drove by were nothing but a big blur of a distinct color, and he couldn’t slow time down to take in the moment even if he wanted to. He sighed heavily as he felt a steady, throbbing pain pulse in his head. He was weak with fatigue, finding the events of the night before being too much for him to handle all in one night. He spent most of his time last night talking to his mother, letting her know that he was gonna catch the soonest flight out to see her and his dad. After he hung up with his mother, he spent the rest of his time on the phone with his wife, being slightly soothed by the only thing that seemed to be real in his life.

A small grin crept up onto his face as he thought about his wife and his son. As soon as he got on the phone with her, he broke down crying, realizing that she and Baylee were the only things in his life that was anything but a lie. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her what had happened to them last night, all he wanted to do was hear her comforting voice assure him that everything was gonna be alright, even though she had no clue as to what was happening. They both stayed on the phone with each other, not saying one word.

Now, here he was, on his way to his parents house, trying to prepare himself on how he would come out to start the discussion with them. He groaned as he began to rub his temples, trying to ward off the agonizing headache that was preventing him from thinking. He wasn’t able to get any sleep last night, nor did he get any on the flight to Kentucky, which made him weary and the pain in his head to worsen.

Before he knew it, the car was pulling up to a house and was slowly coming to a stop. He rose his head a little and stared out the window at the house they had parked right outside of. He fished into his back pockets for his wallet and pulled it out, paying the driver the fare and getting out. As the car drove away, he stood there, staring up at the house, still not knowing how he was going to start off the conversation with his parents.

“Well, well… if it isn’t my little Backstreet brother.”

He turned around to find his older brother, Harold, standing behind him. He smiled as Harold approached him, and they both grabbed each other in a hug.

“How ya doing man?” Harold asked as he ruffled Brian’s curls.

Brian shrugged him off, chuckling. “I’m doing... okay. And you?”

“Well,” Harold said with a sigh. “I’ve been keeping busy, so I guess it’s all good. But I would love to know why you’re here in our neck of the woods with no…” he trailed off, looking Brian over, “luggage.”

Brian sighed heavily, “I came out here to have a little talk with mom and dad.”

“A little talk?” Harold repeated; Brian nodded. “Brian, that little talk mustn’t be a little talk at all if you fly yourself all the way out here, with no luggage just to talk to them when you could’ve done that over the phone.”

“Well, I came here to have a big talk with them then. It’s something I preferred to do face-to-face, not over the phone.”

Harold stared long and hard at his brother, “Sounds serious. Did you find out something?”

Brian’s eyes widened a little, “What do you mean?”

“Well, the way you’re making it sound, it seems as if you found out some bad news or something… and the first thing that comes to mind is your heart condition, which I really hope that isn’t the case.”

Brian released a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, “Well, to put you at ease, that isn’t the case.”

Harold released a breath as well, “Well good… because that just eliminated all the possible bad news you could tell, unless there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Look Brian,” Harold said softly, as he placed a hand upon Brian’s shoulder and began to usher him towards the house. “to tell you the truth, I don’t really know what you’re talking about.”

Brian shook his head, knowing that his brother was trying to cover himself up now. “No, you do know something, and you do know what I’m talking about…” before he could get another word out, he found himself standing right in front of the door.

He swallowed hard, wondering if he was truly ready to get the answers he was seeking for. Without thinking twice, he rose his hand and pushed the doorbell. His initial reaction was to back away slightly, but the hand on his shoulder and the presence that stood behind him held him in his place, almost as if blocking him from turning around to run away. He knows. was all Brian thought to himself when the door opened, revealing his mother behind it.

“Babyduck!” she exclaimed as she held her arms open for him to be embraced in.

~*~*~*~

He didn’t walk into her open arms, nor did he acknowledge her greeting; he simply brushed past her, walking into the house. He didn’t mean to act so harshly towards her, he didn’t know how to act period.

“Alex?” she asked warily as she turned to watch her son pace back and forth in the living room. “Alex, what’s the matter?”

He continued to pace back and forth, what was he doing? Here he was, staring at his mother, his real mother, and all he did was brush past her. How he wanted to start all over again and just grab her in the biggest hug he could muster, forget everything that was said last night and forget for even thinking for a moment that this woman that stood before him wasn’t his real mother, but no matter how much he wanted to deny it and try to run away from everything, he knew he needed answers, and he needed answers right now.

He finally stopped his pacing and just stood there, staring at his mother. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in a soft voice. This wasn’t the way he wanted to start off the conversation with her, but he knew if he didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t have even confronted her about everything at all.

“Why didn’t I tell you what?” she asked in confusion.

He sighed heavily, why couldn’t this be easier? Why was this even happening to him? “You would tell me everything, right? You wouldn’t hide anything from me.”

Puzzlement etched across her face, her brows furrowing. She slowly approached her son, frowning when he slightly backed away from her. Steadily, she reached out her hands for his, sighing when he allowed her to grasp his hands. “Baby, you know I wouldn’t hide anything from you. Now, will you please tell me what this is all about?”

“Are you my real mother?” he asked bluntly.

Denise gasped as she stared into Alex’s eyes, noticing for the first time how clouded and dark they appeared. “Alex…”

“Are… you my real mother?” he asked again, his voice a little louder and firmer this time around.

His heart broke at the sight of the woman he’s known to be his actual mother break right before him. How he wanted to enfold her within his arms and tell her that he was just joking, that he knew that she was his mother and that he loved her very much. How he wanted to wipe the tears he caused to fall from her eyes away and whisper to her that everything was going to be okay. But he couldn’t bring himself to do any of that… for those tears that trickled down her face was only a silent confirmation to his question.

“Why are you asking me this?” she cried out. “Why are you doing this to me?”

AJ sighed in exasperation, nothing was making sense to him anymore. The broken woman before him and her statement confused the hell out of him, was she his mother or not? “I’m not… I’m not trying to do anything to you. I just want to know the truth.”

“Was I not enough? What did I do, where did I go wrong?” she exclaimed through her tears. AJ bit his bottom lip when he realized that she wasn’t referring to him, but more like talking to herself. “I thought I did everything I was supposed to, everything that is required of a mother… where did I fail? Why are you doing this to me?”

AJ didn’t know what to do, whether to continue standing his ground or forget everything and comfort the weeping woman before him. He wasn’t sure who she was talking to anymore, but he started to worry for her. “Please, tell me.”

That simple statement snapped her out of her trance, causing her to stop her mumbling and look right up at him. “You’re weren’t suppose to know.” she whispered.

AJ closed his eyes, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I found out… last night.” he slightly chuckled in a maniacal manner. “And to think, I sat there bitching him out, calling him a liar… thinking all he wanted to do was try to ruin my life by telling me lies. I wouldn’t believe him… I refused to believe him. I held onto to that last shred of hope I had left, thinking that when I’d come home I’d find out everything that I heard last night wasn’t true… that you were my real mom to begin with, and I could go on living life.”

“I’m sorry.” she cried out, burying her face within her hands. “God, I’m so sorry Alex… I should’ve told you, but I couldn’t. You were my first and only child Alex, and I didn’t exactly know how to be a mother… but as soon as I laid my eyes on you… god, you taught me how to be a mother.” she took a hefty pause, taking that time to wipe her tears away and sit down on the couch. “I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping you in the dark about all this, because I had to protect you… it was my job to protect you Alex, and it was in that moment that I was beginning to believe that you were my actual son… my blood and my flesh. I can’t even begin to tell you how it felt the moment I received you as my son. You were everything I’ve ever wanted in a child Alex.”

AJ felt his knees begin to tremble, he wasn’t even sure how he was still able to stand on wobbly legs. He finally felt his knees buckled and allowed himself to collapse down on the chair that was situated directly across from Denise. “So… my real mom… just, gave me away?” he asked in a soft voice, sounding much like a child.

“Baby,” Denise choked out as rose from the couch and made her way over towards him. She bent down and grasped his hands within hers. “She did not give you away. She gave you life, and she gave me the best thing I could ever receive in my life. You may not understand it now, but your mother saved your life by doing what she did. This was not a easy decision for your mother to come by, no mother could ever or would ever want to just give their child up, but she knew this was something that had to be done. She loves you very much Alex, she will never stop loving you. I commend her because not only did she put herself through hell by separating and giving up her only five sons… but she also did something no one would ever want to do, but she knew she had to… she was being a mother by protecting her offspring.”

AJ could feel tears welling within his eyes, and he quickly glanced away. Denise’s bottom lip quivered as she reached out and gently grasped his chin, making him look at her. “Alex, for what it’s worth, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I know the truth is never easy to accept, especially when it’s been suddenly revealed years later after you’ve been shielded away from it all this time, but I want you to know that you will always and forever be my first and only son. I don’t care what the truth may bring, because I will never stop loving you… you are my child Alex, and I can only hope and pray that through all this… you can at least consider me to be your step mom.”

AJ couldn’t keep it in anymore. He broke down crying, immediately reaching out for the woman that has basically been his life. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her towards him, embracing her tightly and never wanting to let go. “I love you so much mom.”

Denise gasped at hearing him still call her ‘Mom’. “Alex, you know you don’t have to…”

AJ interrupted her by abruptly pulling out of the hug, his eyes glistening with tears as he stared at her. “I love you mom.” he repeated. “You are the woman that helped me to grow and molded me to be the man that I am today. You did anything and everything a mom should do for their child… and in my life, you were everything I’ve ever wanted in a mother, and then some.”