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“He’s going to damage that ship!” Mulder exclaimed, as they watched the fighting from the van. “We have to get in there before they destroy everything!”

Brian sighed as he looked at the screen, imagining the potential damage that might be done and what impact that would have. “Let’s go,” he said over his shoulder, as he was already out of the van and halfway down the driveway towards the grotto.

Mulder and Scully exchanged another mutually concerned glance before following suit. This was the breakthrough they had been waiting for, just the evidence they had been searching for all over the country for years: solid proof of alien life.


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“STOP RIGHT THERE! ALL OF YOU!” Hugh Hefner shouted, in a voice that seemed almost too powerful to be his own. Immediately, all the remaining Playmates and guards stopped what they were doing. Hef, with three blonde Playmates by his sides, walked closer to the scene that lay before him.

“What kind of sicko are you, Hefner?” Jay asked before the old man could say anything else. Hef smiled an evil smile at Jay, then looked at one of the remaining guards and nodded in Jay’s direction. The guard moved over to Jay and managed to restrain him, although it took some effort, as Jay put up a fight and continued to struggle although his arms were behind his back.

“Are you all willing to cooperate?” Hugh asked, looking around at his captives as they scowled at him. Emerald’s eyes were particularly full of hatred towards him. He winked at her, and it took Emerald every ounce of her willpower not to tackle him and pummel him bloody and senseless. “You must have gone to a lot of trouble to spy on me, but I wonder why?”

“People are dying because of you!” Red shouted, trying to once again repress the memories of that haunting night that were trying to resurface.

Hef scoffed, and the three girls with him laughed. “You have no idea what’s going on here. But you’ll soon find out. All of you.” And with that, something that none of them ever expected to happen, happened.

The Playmates’ skin suddenly adopted a bluish-purple tinge to it, and their eyes grew large and black, their irises completely disappearing, almost as though they’d been stretched beyond the corners of the eyes. The nostrils became narrower, almost like thin slits, and their noses were flat to their faces now.

In the midst of the Playmates’ transformation, the guards, stunned by fear, mustered up enough energy to run out of the room, screaming. They ran right past Mulder, Scully, and Brian, who slowly crept into the room, hugging the back wall in the hopes that they wouldn’t be noticed. Mulder and Scully tried to hold in their shock and excitement, while Brian simply couldn’t believe his eyes.

Hef raised his hand to his face and tugged at a wrinkle by his ear. Almost automatically, a mechanical sound rang through the room as Hef put his right hand across his face and pulled it right off. The sight they all now beheld drew mixed reactions. There, in the place where Hef’s face had been moments ago, sat a tiny being surrounded by levers and buttons and cranks. His face was scowling, but Jay couldn’t help but laugh.

“Dude, that’s what you really look like? A blue Chihuahua puppy with dilated pupils? At least the Playmates look evil… You just look like you’re rabid or something.” Jay continued laughing as the tiny alien’s face twisted into what could only be assumed to be anger, while Brian snickered to himself at Jay’s colorful description of the creature. He quickly managed to regain his composure and raised his gun once again to prepare for the aliens to attack.

The alien growled with rage and lunged at Jay, taking him by surprise. Emerald, finally given the opportunity she desired, whipped out her concealed gun and fired three shots into the tiny alien’s skull.

“Man, I’ve been waiting HOURS to do that!” Emerald exclaimed, glaring at the motionless alien lying a mere three feet in front of Jay. It was then that they all realized that the Playmates were completely motionless now, their faces devoid of any emotion at all.

Pearl took advantage of the situation and made her way to the Hugh Hefner suit that was now abandoned by its tiny alien owner. She squealed in delight at how advanced the technology was.

“Ooh,” she cooed, “I never thought I’d see mechanisms like this in my lifetime! It’s a dream come true!”

“Excuse us, Miss Pearl,” Mulder said, appearing next to her, as Scully showed up on her other side, “but we’ll need to take a look at this device.” The incredulous look on Pearl’s face said all she wished she could at that moment, as Mulder and Scully stared her down.

“But- I just wanted to- Surely you can let me just-“ Pearl began.

“Miss Pearl, this is United States Government property now. Our evidence. Please step away,” Scully said, her intense stare at Pearl only emphasizing her stand on the matter. Pearl glared at them both one last time before storming away, cursing them silently under her breath.

Diamond slowly stuck out her finger to poke the one near her in the arm, quickly pulling her hand back when she realized how slimy its skin was and letting out a shriek. Red examined the alien next to her closely, paying attention to the texture of its skin, the color of it, every detail she possibly could. She was amazed at how all they could seem to do now was breathe and blink. Her examination was cut short by the loud boom made by Emerald’s gun firing a shot into the back of the alien’s skull. Red was shocked, but Emerald simply smiled at Jay, as they both continued to walk up to the aliens and shoot them in their skulls.

Brian, however, was walking around the perimeter of the ship, fascinated by its design. He slowly took a few steps up the entry ramp to the interior of the ship before he heard yelling behind him and turned around, gun instantly drawn.

“That’s United States Government property you two are destroying!” Scully exclaimed when she realized what Jay and Emerald had been doing. By the time the FBI agents had stopped them, Jay and Emerald had killed nearly all of the aliens; only two or three were left.

“Oh please, we’re doing you a favor!” Emerald shouted back.

“They’re evidence! Our evidence! You have no business shooting them!” Mulder screamed at her.

“You have got to be shittin’ me!” Jay replied.

“Hey! All of you, listen to me!”

Of course, just like in the movies, nobody did.

Brian shook his head and tried one last time to get everyone to shut up. “HEY!”

That finally made seven heads turn and look at him.

“So now that I have everyone’s attention, can we at least talk about this?!”

“Talk about what?” Emerald stared right through him with her famous piercing look. “These things might suddenly come to life and start a killing spree.”

“Maybe so, but we need to keep these last ones alive.” Mulder motioned to the remaining ones. “They can teach us about their species.”

“At least they knew how to accessorize. And to cover up nasty skin like that,” Diamond commented casually. “The world could use more people with that knowledge.”

“Puh-lease.” Emerald was in no mood to reason with this man. The whole enema thing was still fresh in her mind, to the point where she wanted to destroy everything evil reminding her of the whole ordeal.

“How about making a deal?”

“You’re not in the CIA office, Brian.” Jay smirked. “This is no time for making deals.”

“Hear the man out,” Red said, as she motioned towards him. “What’s on your mind?”

“Thanks, Red. How about we let these three life forms live, and Mulder and Scully can do whatever they want with them.”

“Wait a minute!” both Jay and Emerald protested.

“I wasn’t finished. In return, we – or you, ‘cause I don’t want anything to do with it – get to have a closer look at both them and Hugh.”

It took them a few minutes of bickering about the deal Brian proposed, but eventually, they all complied, even though Mulder and Emerald especially were not all that happy with it.

Scully almost had to drag him to the other side of the room, wanting to exchange thoughts and knowing they had to come with a decent cover-up. First, though, she called their boss because they couldn’t collect all the evidence themselves. They’d need a team of agents to make sure the alien ladies would be transported to a safe environment in which they could be closely monitored or, in case of the dead ones, dissected.

In the meantime, Mulder kept glancing over his shoulder at the others, checking to see that they wouldn’t mess things up.

“This shit is crazy.”

“Can you please not use the word ‘shit’ anymore?!” Emerald hissed, her temper reaching the boiling point.

“Sorry?” Jay asked.

“Never mind,” she muttered, not wanting to explain herself. “Let’s take a closer look at the bastard.”

Pearl was already glancing inside the skull of the mechanical suit. “This is amazing,” she whispered to herself as she carefully touched the wires. Accidentally, though, she hit one of the handles, which made Hef’s left leg stretch, almost kicking Emerald, who was just approaching it.

“Hey, watch it, Pearl!” She laughed a bit too loud.

“What are you people DOING over there?!” Mulder yelled.

“Nothing!” Emerald responded, followed by a softly spoken, “Asshole.”

“Sorry, we’ll be careful!” Pearl apologized, as she sent him an angelic smile.

“Right,” Mulder muttered under his breath, as he sent a small smile back.

“Mulder, we need to talk about this.”

“I can’t stand here while those fools destroy more evidence than they already have!” he growled as he, being the adult he was, actually stomped his feet.

“Yes, you CAN,” Scully simply stated. “You have to.”

“Okay, okay.” Mulder rubbed his temples as he tore his eyes away from the HimTak team.

“So, what WAS that over there?! What are we going to tell the media – or anyone, for that matter? Because I, for one, don’t have a clue.”

“I think Hefner had control over them.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I figured as much, ‘cause they all dropped down as soon as what’s-her-name shot him. Got anything better?”

“Let’s see. They all seemed to be under a spell of some sort, but how in the world did he manage that? And, well, they obviously appear to be from another kind of breed than he was. The differences between them are clearly visible.”

“Yeah, not only do they look different, but assuming Hugh’s species built the suit himself, his kind is far more intelligent than the other one.” Scully let out a short laugh. “The Playmates lack not only brain mass, just like in the ‘real world.’ They don’t even seem to have any kind of artificial intelligence.”

Mulder did not see the humor in that, but then again, he hardly ever found anything funny, so Scully wasn’t offended.

“Maybe it was the whole Playboy mansion. The water or something.”

“Maybe. We’d have to ask the others if they drank something during their time here.”

“Let’s not do that. We don’t wanna make them any smarter than they already are. They know far more than is good for them or the rest of the world.”

“Don’t exaggerate things. I mean, they’re on the good side.”

“Yeah, all the killing showed exactly that.”

“You know you are sulking, right?” Scully stated as she gave him a look. “What if it was the sex he had with his Playmates?”

“Like how?” Mulder looked at her, a bit puzzled.

“I don’t know. Maybe he injected something every time he had sex with one of them, keeping them under his spell. A microchip that would be in connection with the suit. Something along those lines.”

“That’d make more sense.”

“But now, what do we tell the press that happened?”

“Maybe that the bastard just died?!”

Mulder and Scully almost jumped up as Jay seemed to pop up from out of nowhere. In reality, he had walked over there to make sure they’d all get their story straight.

“That would be too simple.” Mulder shook his head.

”Why?” Jay laughed. “To the world, he was an old man. Okay, he had a lot of attractive women surrounding him, but he was still an old man. We could release a statement saying he died of a heart attack while he was having sex with his favorite Playmate of the Month. Then also state that she was so shocked by what happened that she killed herself. The other bunnies were so devastated by the whole ordeal that they went home and turned their backs on being sex objects ever again, out of respect for Hugh. Something like that.”

“I think that could actually work,” Scully said, as she slowly nodded. “It’s not too far out there, for the most part. And after awhile, we could state that Hugh said in his will that the Mansion would be made into a Playboy Museum, or maybe even something more useful.”

“I still believe it’s too simple.”

“Simple might work, Mulder.” Scully smiled. “It just might work.”


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“Eww, who would die for Hugh Hefner?” Leaving the dead alien Playmates, Diamond walked up to the where the other girls were. "I wonder what happened to the real Hef?" she asked, more to herself.

“Poor old ass likely got offed,” the roughest HimTak girl replied. Emerald had knelt down, determined to find out more about the tattoo and the metal ring embedded in it. Together with Red and Pearl, she had rolled Hef on his side, careful not to damage the suit. She had told the others about the object while they were looking inside the skull, but wisely skipped the whole enema ordeal.

At first, the women tried to grab it with their nails, but they just couldn’t get them under the metal ring. They looked at each other, knowing none of them would have any equipment that could help them.

“Diamond, your nails could get under there.”

“But I just had them done,” the blonde agent said with a pout.

Emerald rolled her eyes. Then they all looked at Brian, who was standing a few feet away from them, not wanting to come ANY closer to the whole alien scene than absolutely necessary.

“What is it?” he asked them, hands in his pockets and a stubborn look on his face. He did not want to have anything more to do with this if he didn’t have to.

“We need your help.” Pearl smiled at him.

“I bet he’s the kind to have a Swiss pocket knife on him at all times,” Emerald teased.

A red flush crept up his cheeks, as he, indeed, got a pocket knife out of his jacket and threw it over to Emerald.

“Thanks.” She smiled at him before she searched for the right kind of tool. After she found a small knife, she carefully lifted up the ring.

“Careful,” Red warned, as she felt herself leaning just a bit backwards. Just in case.

Emerald nodded as she slowly pulled.

The women looked in awe as they saw the tattoo move upward, like a hatch of some kind, revealing part of the inside structure of wires, chips, small buttons and LEDs, instead of a spine, muscle tissue, blood vessels and nerves.

“Maybe it’s some kind of emergency exit for the little bastard.” Emerald laughed.

“Why do you say that?” Pearl asked, as she leaned forward as much as she could without falling over.

“Because there’s a tiny ladder in here too.”


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