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Nick and K made their way around the vast park. It was huge; Nick didn’t remember it being so big before. Although they were supposed to be focused on this mission, he couldn’t help but be excited to be there. K, he noticed, was still quiet and pensive, which was really bothering him because here he was, walking around in an Abu costume, and his “Aladdin” was barely paying attention to him.

“K, you alright, man? You’re not acting very Aladdin-like, ya know. Your partner in crime would like a little attention.”

K rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Nick – I mean, Abu.” He smirked.

Nick cleared his throat. “You don’t act fine.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t be talking – Abu doesn’t talk; he squeaks. I’m not answering unless you squeak from now on.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“Yoo-hoo!!! Nicky!!!”

“Oh god,” Nick groaned, just as his secretary, Mr. Lancybassy, made his way up beside him. “What are you doing here??”

“I thought I saw you! Then again, I don’t know how I could miss you in such a tight…tight costume. Ya know, Nick, that costume is very becoming on you.” Lancy winked.

Nick turned to look at him. “You think so?”

“Oh definitely! I could just eat you up!”

Nick stared at him, his eyes widening in horror. “Uhh, okay. What about you? What are you doing here? And why the hell are you in some fairy outfit?” He’d never really noticed what he was wearing.

“Tinkerbell is not a fairy! She’s a pixie! Do you like the wings?” Lancy turned, wiggling a bit, making the gossamer wings flutter.

“Oh… uh, yeah, they’re really… neat.”

“Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll sprinkle you with some of my special… ‘pixie dust.’”

Nick looked over when K suddenly busted out laughing. He glared; wasn’t the head honcho even pissed that Lancybassy had somehow snuck his way on board the mission? He wasn’t even an agent!

“Shut up, K!”

“What? What was that? I didn’t hear anything; was someone talking?”

Nick had been so busy messing around with Lancy, he didn’t even notice that there were some small people in weird costumes coming up to him and K. They slowly made their way forward until Nick stopped and looked at them, and then, suddenly, they were running.

“Move, Nick! Hurry!!” K yelled.

Nick hurried after him, giving Lancy a small shove. “Move!”

“Ohh my, I don’t know if I can run in these slippers!! They weren‘t made for running; they were made for floating, for gliding along gracefully! This isn‘t graceful!”

They all ran; the minions seemed to keep coming from out of nowhere. Suddenly, a song popped into Nick’s head; he was surprised K hadn’t thought of it – technically, it was his song.

“Gotta keep… one jump ahead of the breadline… one swing ahead of the sword. I steal only what I can't afford… that's everything!”

K turned his head to look at him in shock.

They turned a corner, the minions hot on their heels. K pointed to a building labeled “Tiki Room,” and they made their way in. Somewhere along the way, they’d lost Lancy; with a final cry of something about “not ruining a perfectly good pair of slippers,” he’d fallen behind.

“One jump ahead of the lawmen… that's all, and that's no joke. These guys don't appreciate I'm broke,” Nick continued, skidding to a stop as a group of minions appeared out of nowhere in front of them.

“Shit,” K muttered.

“One jump ahead of the slowpokes… one skip ahead of my doom… next time, gonna use a nom de plume. One jump ahead of the hit men… one hit ahead of the flock... I think I'll take a stroll around the block...”

“Nick! Will you shut the hell up?! This is no time for singing, even though the song is kind of fitting.”

“Ohh, you can’t hear me, right? So you can’t hear my singing, and you can’t tell me to stop!” Nick announced triumphantly.

K winced, stepping out of the way when one of the minions jumped at him, and, suddenly, they were fighting. Somehow, they managed to get backed into a corner, and Nick continued to sing, though K couldn’t figure out how he could sing and fight at the same time. Sometimes, that kid amazed him.

“One jump ahead of the hoof beats…”

“Vandal!”

“One hop ahead of the hump…”

“Street rat!”

“One trick ahead of disaster…”

“Scoundrel!”

K blinked. Were the minions filling in the crowd parts?

“They're quick, but I'm much faster”

“Take that!”

He shook his head. They were, and it wasn‘t even the right character singing the song, but they didn‘t seem to care. The power this place held baffled him; even the bad guys could break out into song and have perfect pitch besides.

“Here goes, better throw my hand in, wish me happy landin’, all I gotta do is juuuuuump!”

Nick had just finished the song, surprised he knew most of it, when he realized they’d defeated all of the minions. So that’s why music always played during fight scenes on TV and in movies; it made defeating the bad guys ten times easier!

“Uh, don’t let your guard down just yet, Nick,” K muttered, pointing up.

Nick looked up; out of nowhere, they were surrounded by a swarm of what appeared to be birds, but not the nice, flitty ones that were in the movies. No, these appeared to be evil birds.

Stupid, animatronic parrots. What did they want?


± ± ±


Meanwhile, Lancy found himself in what could actually be interpreted as one of his wildest dreams – depending on how you looked at it. Having seen Lancy talking to and then trying to run off with K and Nick, some of the minions had managed to catch him after he’d stopped chasing his colleagues, and Nick’s overly-faithful secretary now found himself imprisoned in a dimly-lit room, stuck in a chair and surrounded by tough-looking men in costumes. The only reason Lancy knew he wasn’t dreaming was because a shirtless Nick was nowhere to be seen.

“I’m not gonna ask you again,” one of the minions began, having been dubbed “lead Green Army Man” by Lancy because of both his Green Army Man costume from Toy Story and the fact that he had done most of the talking since Lancy’s capture. “What do you know about the plans?”

Lancy shrugged and, once again, tried to turn his head around enough to check on the state of his pixie wings. Who cared about some stupid plans when fabulous costumes were being damaged right then? It was bad enough that he’d almost ruined his slippers, but this torture was too much. “I don’t know anything about any plans, I told you!” Lancy pouted. “If the stupid airport didn’t have CNN on 24/7, I totally wouldn’t have even known about the stupid blizzards and stuff. They totally killed my cute outfit plans for my vacay.”

Lead Green Army Man sighed. “Cut out the ‘vacation’ crap, Tinkerbell. We know who those guys are that you were talking to, and we know what you’re all here trying to do. So just tell us what you’ve found out and what your orders are.”

“For seriously, boys, I have no idea what you’re talking about! The only orders I know about are the ones I’m gonna make at the bar tonight,” Lancy told them. Oh, what he would do for a decent Cosmopolitan right then – the drink and the magazine.

One of the other minions pulled Lead Green Army Man aside. “Maybe we should just let him go. We’ve tried everything, and he still keeps saying he’s on vacation.”

The third minion had now joined them and chimed in agreement. “This guy is not only clueless, he’s a weirdo, too.” All three minions shuddered as Lancy stared at them and winked when they looked up at him. “Can we please get him out of here?”

Lead Green Army Man sighed and pushed past the other two minions as he stood in front of Lancy again. “Fine. We’re letting you go. But if we catch you with those guys again or any of the others like them, we’re not taking ‘vacation’ as an answer. Got it?”

“Yes sir!” Lancy said, saluting Lead Green Army Man as the other minions grabbed him by the arms and led him out of the room. They exchanged a glance with each other as Lead Green Army Man opened the door of the room, and the two minions shoved Lancy out into the secluded alleyway that led into one of the maintenance areas. Lancy huffed as he adjusted his pixie wings before he quickly scurried around the corner of the building when the door opened once again. He leaned as close as he could to the side of the building so he could overhear the minions as they discussed their new orders.

“I guess now that all of these agents are running around, the Doc wants us to go stand guard at Space Mountain and make sure no one messes with the bomb,” one of the minions reported, and Lancy recognized the voice as Lead Green Army Man’s.

“We better hurry over there so he doesn’t get mad about us kidnapping that weirdo!” another minion exclaimed. They all hurried off, leaving Lancy alone once again to watch people running off somewhere without him.

“Who are they calling a ‘weirdo’? They’re the ones in plastic olive drab…” Lancy muttered to himself as he made his way back out into the park, pulling out his cell phone when he realized he’d just overheard an important piece of information. He knew immediately who he needed to spill the news to.

Pearl, darling, I have MAJOR news for u! Call me ASAP! Lancy typed furiously on the keypad of his phone.

Pearl replied two minutes later. Lancy, I’m on a mission. Can’t this wait?

Lancy sighed, his gaze fixed on his cell phone – he didn’t even care that people were staring at him as he walked past them in his fabulous costume. Finally, he was able to help out on a mission, and just by doing what he did best – texting and gossiping! Noooo, Pearlllll! This is ABOUT your mission!

No more than thirty seconds after his message was sent, Lancy’s phone was ringing, and Pearl was on the other end of the line. “What is it, Lancy? What did you hear?” Pearl asked, and Lancy could hear JC in the background, yelling and complaining at her about something – probably the phone call itself.

“Only THE most fabulous bit of news that I could EVER have heard! Oh, you are so going to love me forever once I tell you-“

“Lancy! The news…” Pearl urged.

“Okay, okay, O M G you are grumpy today!” Lancy huffed. “Anyway, I heard some guys around here talking about guarding some bomb, and-”

“Bomb?! What bomb?! I'm looking for a weather machine!" There was a pause, and then… “Forget it - you know where the bomb is?” Pearl pursued, before another realization seemed to hit her. “Wait, you’re here in Florida?! In DISNEY?!”

“Yes, yes, and YES!” Lancy replied, still walking around the park aimlessly. The only complaint Lancy had about Disney World at the moment was its lack of bars, since he really felt like having a good drink while he dished his big news. “Do you want me to tell you where this bomb thingy is hiding or not?”

“Yes, tell me already!” Pearl insisted before Lancy heard her snap at JC to be quiet so she could pay close attention to what Lancy was about to tell her.

“It’s at Space Mountain! The guys said they were going to Space Mountain to make sure no one messes with their bomb-y thing.”

“Thank you, Lancy!” Pearl shouted.

“Welcome as always, darling!” Lancy responded before he heard Pearl hang up. While sighing with satisfaction at a job well done, Lancy hardly noticed that he was about to cross paths with a very handsome Peter Pan. Luckily, he did finally see the cute guy headed his way and quickly adjusted his outfit and fixed his hair before putting on his flirtiest smile and rushing over to catch up with Peter Pan as he started walking the other way. “Oh Peter, I hope you’re thinking happy thoughts, because you and I have a date in Neverland tonight!”


± ± ±


Pearl stood on the float with her forced smile, waving at all the people who had amassed on the sides of the street to watch the parade go by. The guests were waiting excitedly for their favorite characters… who, unfortunately, happened to be them.

She was smirking at the white-gloved “pageant wave” Shazam had perfected as Prince Charming, when the phone buzzed against her chest. The one place she was able to stash a phone in this damned costume was within her bra. She almost felt like Diamond. Slipping behind JC, she reached for it discreetly and checked the caller ID. Lancy. She shouldn't be answering his texts, but something told her to, and she did, ignoring JC’s protests.

Pearl knew she couldn't be seen doing it and tried her best to hide herself in the awkward pumpkin coach float she was forced to endure. She knelt down, trying to disguise the fact she was using a cell phone from the public. No thoughts went to how she looked to the public, however. Horrified parents witnessed "Cinderella" bending down near "Prince Charming's" crotch area, with no regard for the children.

"Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother turned her daughter's head away, swearing to herself she'd never go to anything Disney-related again.

"What is it, Lancy?" Pearl almost growled into the phone, feeling extremely uncomfortable squatting down in heels. Annoyance was clear within her face, but soon gave way to interest. “Bomb?! What bomb?! I'm looking for a weather machine!" She shook her head; bomb ranked over weather machine, and Lancy actually seemed to know where it was, somehow. “Forget it - you know where the bomb is?” Pearl pursued, before another realization hit her. “Wait, you’re here in Florida?! In DISNEY?!”

“Pearl! What are you doing?!” JC hissed from his seat, but she quickly shushed him.

“Shh, quiet! I’m trying to hear a tip from Lancy!”

She dipped her head lower and clutched the phone to her ear, listening carefully. Finally, she rose up with a small grin and turned off her phone, stowing it back down the front of her dress. The scientist stood once more and looked over at JC. "We have a new problem. Forget the weather machine for now." She glanced around at the horrified and angry crowd. "What's with them? They look peeved."

JC gave her an exasperated look; his face was slightly red. She wondered, but didn’t bother to press him. There was a bomb in Tomorrowland; they had to get off. Now.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw an alley way that was being kept clear; costumed people, however, were freely roaming around. Bending over quickly and clutching her stomach, she moved towards the edge of the float nearest the alley. “Follow me,” she mumbled to JC as she passed him. She jumped off the float and flew into the alley way, where she pretended to be sick.

JC looked around anxiously, alone on the float. Everyone looked at him with wondering eyes. He laughed nervously. “It looks like Cinderella had some bad pumpkin juice,” he quickly said. “I will go check on her, being the charming prince that I am.” With that, he quickly turned and jumped off the float, following Pearl.

“Do you mind telling me what that was all about?” JC grabbed Pearl’s arm and dragged her further down the alley.

“Shut up,” Pearl quickly snapped at JC. She pulled her phone back out of her dress. “Lancy is here, and he overheard minions talking about a bomb at Space Mountain. Let’s move!” She grabbed JC by his arm and started to pull him off in the direction of the ride.

“Look, Mommy, Cinderella is talking to Prince Charming like you talk with Daddy,” a little girl pointed out to her mother.


± ± ±


“In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room... in the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room..."

Weren’t those damn birds annoying enough? Did Nick really have to sing along with them, even when that damn Iago bird came down to interrupt and sing his own even more annoying song? K wondered if maybe he should have brought Diamond instead, like Shazam wanted originally. Or even an agent of non 00-ranking. They usually – after the first month of intense non-stop basic training – were sent on missions with talented 00-agents for more intense training. It depended on K’s or Grasshopper’s evaluations of the agents involved. Sometimes... he wondered if those damn evaluations were inaccurate. They had said...

"Nick!"

"The birds sings words, and-”

… That Nick was actually sane for example.

“Nick…”

“-the flowers croon!"

And moments like these definitely proved differently.

"Nick..."

"In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room!”

“Nick! Could you stop with the damn singing of Disney songs?!”

“You’re too uptight, K. How often do you get a cool mission at the happiest place on Earth? I mean, jeez, enjoy it while you can. Live life to the fullest, for the future is scarce and all that.”

I sometimes wonder if you know how scarce it is, K mused silently. “Seems like you’ve had your fair share of the more unique missions lately.”

Nick grinned as they wandered further through the animatronic bird room of pure torture. “I’m a one-of-a-kind agent, so it fits. Extraordinary missions for an extraordinary agent, right?”

K sighed. He’d never admit it to anyone, but Nick reminded him of someone dear and lost to him. A reminder of what “could have” been. Potential for greatness he had seen once, but it had been painfully snuffed out before he could shine. Something that had pained him ever since. He knew this was where his protectiveness stemmed from. He never wished to admit this, but it was painfully, almost blatantly, true.

“In the tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki room…”

His thoughts were interrupted once more. Must that blasted kid always sing?!

“You know, 008…”

“00Carter! …the birds sing words-”

“008. You need to take your mission far more seriously. You’re a talented agent, Carter, better than most want to say. That’s why you made 00-rank so young, you and Diamond both. But if you don’t take your job seriously-“

"I take it seriously."

"You do."

"Yes!"

"Your actions say differently."

“K, listen. I. DO. TAKE. IT. SERIOUSLY,” Nick stated, all singing, jokes and lighthearted attitude aside.

“So singing and goofing off is taking it all seriously. I’d like to see you brushing it off lightly then.”

The blond rolled his eyes and roughly poked one of the robot birds that suddenly seemed to mock him now. When it tipped off its perch, falling and shattering upon the floor, he walked back towards Agent K with a slight innocent whistle.

“That’s how I deal. How else can I without going insane? I’m the reason why we lost an agent. I’m why that same agent is now with the enemy and now evil. I keep letting that same agent get away, and he’s here. I know he is. And if he kills anyone before I do finally catch him, it will be blood on my hands. My fault. I take all my missions to heart, K. I really do. I just joke, sing, and all so I can keep my sanity and maybe help everyone else keep theirs.”

K was a bit stunned. It hit him that he shouldn’t be, but he was all the same. Few of HimTak could or would even try guessing at the depth hidden within the “goofball” agent of the organization. In fact, he could only think of two members who could.

Nick looked at his superior agent, one of his mentors. For the first time in his five years at Himitsu Takana, Nick caught a glimpse of the great pain buried within those usually closed-off, jade eyes belonging to K. Nick released a breath, easily able to recognize that angst, for he had some of his own to deal with.

“So, when did you lose them?”

K stared at Nick sharply. “What the hell do you mean?”

“Whoever it is, the one or ones causing you so much hurt, man. That’s why you’re so cold, right? Why you don’t really care about me, about us, only the mission?”

With that, K angrily, furiously, stalked out of the Tiki Room, for once not caring if the enemy spotted him or Nick. In his mood, he’d almost challenge them to try it.

Nick thought he didn’t care?

Had he really become so cold?

He simply sighed despondently. Kristin wouldn’t recognize him now. Nor would she want to. K gazed around at all the people, all of them happy, all ignorant to what he dealt with daily to keep them safe. Was it worth it? Sometimes he wondered. K questioned it enough, thought of the sacrifices made. Some intentional and others unintentional. His lost wife, his beautiful, blond, blue-eyed son. He’d never forgotten either; they plagued his thoughts daily, despite the passage of time.

Kristen. They had met, here. Fallen in love, here. She had always supported him in his choices. Even called him “the hero” when he took on the duties of HimTak.

Nathaniel. His son. He had looked like Kristen, possessed her energy, her spirit, along with Kevin’s own determination and logic-loving intelligence. Crazy enough, from the moment Nick had first entered HimTak, he’d reminded K of him. Of what Nathaniel could have been, had he been allowed to grow older than the tender age of ten.

Nathaniel. Kristen, the loving one, the lighthearted side he didn’t possess. Married to him since they were both kids of eighteen. What would she think of him now? He knew the answer.

She would be greatly disappointed.


± ± ±