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Loud screams resounded inside the Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. The loudest of those screams, by far, came from one particularly enthusiastic blonde American, sitting front row center at the stadium, pink mittens clapping away while holding a large, glitter-covered sign bearing the names of the two skaters currently taking a bow after completing their performance.

“WOOOO!!! YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!” Mr. Lancybassy screamed as he stood beside Diamond Divine, who was definitely not as emphatic in her cheering as he was. As the couple on the ice waved at him, Lancy swooned for a moment, and Diamond fanned his face after he nearly fainted right on top of her. The room fell silent as their scores were about to be announced.

“Lancy, sweetie, are you okay?” Diamond asked urgently, as he was beginning to look pale. He had various skaters’ names painted all over his face in shades of blue and pink – depending on their gender, of course – and several heavily-decorated signs lay at his feet.

“They… they waved… at me… at ME!!” Lancy exclaimed, his arms waving madly as he pointed to himself.

“Yes, babe, they totally waved at you.” Diamond smiled. She had only ever seen Lancy this excited the last time they went on a shopping spree, when they found a Gucci store having a huge shoe sale. Until a few months ago, she would never have guessed that her best friend was such a fervent figure skating fan; although, come to think of it, she should have guessed when she saw some of the velvet, spandex, and polyester ensembles he had in his closet that were clearly not meant to be worn anywhere but on an ice rink. When Lancy had asked her to come with him to Vancouver to see the 2010 Olympic Games, she couldn’t wait to start shopping for cute winter boots and matching coats, especially when Lancy had told her how many fit, young, male athletes would be there.

“What?! That will put them in third place!” Lancy cried, as he looked up at their scores. “They totally deserved to be in first place after that routine.”

Diamond simply nodded in agreement, since she still didn’t quite understand everything there was to know about figure skating yet, despite Lancy teaching her about it all day, every day, since they’d gotten there. She was slowly starting to realize just how much figure skating meant to Lancy and how in love he was with the sport.

After the last pair had skated, as they announced the final rankings of the night for the ice dancers, Lancy pulled Diamond along as he pushed his way over to where he knew the skaters would be exiting the venue. They found their way up to the front of the crowd, and that was where Lancy truly let his excitement show. “OH MY GOD!!! TANITH! TANITH BELBIN!! I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN! I FOLLOW YOU ON TWITTER! HAVE YOU AND BEN BEEN READING MY BLOG?! I SENT YOU MY BLOG!! BENNNN!! BEN AGOSTO!! I WORSHIP YOU!!!”

Diamond watched as he jumped up and down, squealing and screaming like a teenage girl – it was honestly starting to worry her. He tried to jump over the barrier separating him from two of his idols, but Diamond pulled him back, and two security guards quickly came over to block his way anyhow. “Come on, hon, let’s go back to the hotel. I’ll buy you a venti mocha cappuccino on the way, and you can tell me more about the difference between ice dancing and pairs.”

“Oh my God, I totally forgot I had to finish telling you about that!” Lancy exclaimed, the posters he had toiled over for two weeks straight tucked safely under his arm, while they walked to their hotel, just outside of the Olympic pavilion. “The scoring and requirements are totally different, but, as I’m sure you noticed, the costumes are just as fabulous! The guys look H-O-T HOT, of course, but the ladies look way pretty, too! But just wait till the ladies singles; that’s the best! My favorite is – Oh, that’s her!” Lancy said, tugging on Diamond’s arm, moments after they walked into the lobby and saw a crowd of people watching a beautiful young figure skater on TV. He and Diamond walked over and stood quietly with the other people watching intently, as the female news anchor reported.

“We have just received word that Kim Yu-Na, Korean figure skating superstar and current frontrunner for the Olympic gold in Ladies Figure Skating, has gone missing.” The woman reported as footage from one of Kim’s last performances played on the screen.

“WHAT?! NOOOO!” Lancy exclaimed, jumping moments later as the crowd shushed him so they could hear the rest of the report. He waved them off as they all turned back to the screen, and Diamond rubbed Lancy’s back supportively.

“…Kim’s spokesperson and the spokesperson for the Olympics both declined to comment at this time, but there is already outrage in the international community over this mysterious and tragic incident. Korean government officials have expressed deep indignation over the disappearance of their star skater – an intensely beloved celebrity in her home country – and have also laid blame not only on host country Canada for its so-called ‘lack of scrutiny over details concerning the security of all of the athletes,’ but on Russia and several other rival countries that they believe could have been plotting to ruin South Korea’s chances of taking home the gold medal in figure skating,” the reporter continued, as footage of government officials making formal announcements at podiums was shown.

“Because of these claims, the Korean government insists that other organizations, such as the United Nations and specific countries’ governments, including the American CIA, should assist with the investigation, while other countries believe that only Canada and South Korea’s resources should be used in the search. The debate continues as we speak, and the Canadian government has indeed begun searching the Vancouver area for any sign of the missing athlete, as time is certainly of the essence.” The screen then went back to showing the reporter sitting at her desk. “We will continue to keep you updated as the story progresses. In case you’re just joining us, we recently received word that…”

“Th-that’s it? That’s all they can say?!” Lancy shouted, as the crowd dispersed,

“Kim Yu-Na, THE Queen Yu-Na, is MISSING, and all they can say is ‘They’re looking for her, and we’ll keep you posted’?! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!”

“Lancy, calm down, hon!” Diamond urged, as people began to stare at Lancy’s hysterics.

“I can’t calm down, Di! My shining star, my inspiration, the very woman who motivated me to come here to see this wonderful sport in its very competitional best, has DISAPPEARED!!” Lancy dropped to his knees and abruptly ripped – or rather, unzipped – off his bright pink, heavy winter jacket as he shouted,

“KIMMYYYYYYY!!!!! WHY KIMMYYYYYY!?!?!”

Diamond knelt down to console her distraught friend, as she looked up at the screen, where the news anchors were still discussing the missing figure skater Lancy so greatly adored.


  


“Peaaaaaaarl.”

“Niiiiiiiiiick.”

“Whatcha dooooooing?”

“Working… you know, that thing K keeps trying to make you do,” the blonde scientist teased with a smirk, as she messed with wires to what Nick thought might be an iPod Touch. He grinned at her.

“Hey, is that for me?”

“Actually, no, Mr. Ego. This is a gift for our honorary, country HimTak member. Last minute touch-up to it.”

“Is that going to still be able to play music once you’re done with it?”

Pearl shot him a look as he leaned on her work table. “Keep that up, and I’ll take all your toys away, including your latest one.” For Nick’s birthday only a couple weeks before, she’d gifted him with a Nintendo Wii game set that also could paralyze any intruders with the right button combination, in case of a breach. Also, it connected to the camera feeds, rather than the internet, something she hadn’t mentioned to K, but that Nick found humorous and handy for pranks. There was always an advantage having a technological genius as your friend.

He raised a brow as he found what looked like a cigarette lying upon the table. “Okay, you and I both know you hate smokes.”

“That’s Jay’s birthday gift… or, well, was. There’s a glitch I need to fix on it before giving it back to him.”

“What’s it do?”

“I’d tell you…” She beamed. “… but then I’d have to kill you.” She fit the back panel back onto the iPod Touch and set it down with an air of triumph. “Finished.”

“Aww, come on. I have to admit, a cigarette device looks cool.”

“Knowing you, you’d smoke it – or try to. Even though you don’t even smoke anymore.”

“No faith.”

“After what you did to your car?”

Nick looked sheepish as he shot her a grin. “Right.”

Footsteps could be heard echoing nearby, as two more entered the room. They belonged to familiar faces, one a young woman with raven-colored locks and startling green eyes, the other a short, lithe man with golden hair, dimples, and a friendly smile: Opal Odyssey and Agent Littrell. Nick’s grin grew the moment he spotted the two. He hadn’t seen Brian since their escapades in Canada, which had almost resulted in The Rok’s demise from a super virus created by the now deceased Dr. Rough. The two men approached each other and, after an awkward moment, quickly embraced. Then Nick took Opal’s hand, placing it to his lips for only a second, before giving her the charming smile for which he was known.

“Opal, always a pleasure.”

“Turn off the charm, Nick.”

“Opal, you wound me. So, what are you doing in my neck of the woods, Country Boy?”

Brian jerked his head towards Opal, as she formerly introduced herself to the young, blonde scientist. “She needs help with a technical project. I told her Pearl’s one of the best.”

“The best, CIA!” Pearl called out jokingly, before turning back to Opal, as the boys tuned back into their conversation. “So, what’s the deal?”

“The FBI has me on a side project.”

“Hmm, government work? Technically not my jurisdiction…”

“I know, but it all goes back to that Playboy mission, with the aliens? Brian told me how Nick was saying you were reverse-engineering two of the devices you stole from that mission.”

Pearl’s cheeks tinged red at the mention, seeing as all the alien technology was supposed to have become the property of the FBI. K had known what she’d done; however, she knew she’d broken several HimTak codes, not to mention United States laws. Nick smirked the moment he noticed the reaction, and Pearl made sure to shoot him a dirty look before answering Opal. “Yeah, I kinda did. I was able to crack the Cone of Silence…”

“Cone of what?” interrupted Brian, looking interested now.

“Long explanation. Anyway, it’s the other device I’m having trouble with, deciphering the language, which, for this one, is more necessary than it was for the Cone of Silence. I’m an engineering girl; I’ve never been the best at code-breaking, compared to, you know, a cryptographer.”

“Between you being able to reverse engineer and my skills, I was wondering if you’d be willing to partner up with me. This is my sole project at the moment; apparently, the FBI doesn’t have anyone talented enough to crack it.”

“Sure, we can work out a time to meet up… or something. Oh!” Pearl smiled, reaching back for the iPod Touch and handing it to Brian. “Happy Birthday, by the way. I specialized this for you.”

Nick looked at Brian as he ran his hand along the device. Pearl handed him a small booklet. “She makes a specialty weapon for all top agents. Feel honored, man; you’re the first non-HimTak agent she’s done it for.”

“Eh, we all kinda consider you honorary.”

“Thanks, and unlike Nick, I’ll make sure to read the manual. That way I don’t destroy it like how Nick did his car,” he teased, causing everyone to laugh.

“Hey! I read some of it!” His watch vibrated, and he sighed, pushing the button and making the small screen rise from the watch to reveal his superior’s face. “Yes, K?”

“I’ve been calling your phone. Why have you been ignoring me?”

“Shit, I left it in my dorm.”

“My office, now. I have an assignment for you.”

“Sweet!”

“Try not to dawdle, 008.” The screen went black and folded neatly back into the watch.

“00Carter…”

He waved back at Brian and Opal before heading out of the lab. He’d definitely have to call Brian later and find out just what that new toy did. That way, he could ask Pearl for a better one, of course.

Nick hummed as he walked along the halls, content with himself. It seemed things were getting better. FANS would soon be done for, now that Dr. Rough was out of the picture. That meant he could soon settle up with Drums and move past that stage of his life. The thought made him rub his arm idly, thinking of the scars hidden by the mural tattoo that now resided there and the mission that had caused them, along with Drum’s spiral into destruction.

He heard something being muttered quietly down the hall. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was, and, to be completely honest, it sounded like total gibberish to Nick. It was some sort of foreign language, of course, possibly Far or Middle Eastern, if he had to take a guess. Although he was somewhat bilingual because of his job, languages as a whole tended to be beyond him, as he was no expert. Creeping along silently, he spied none other than Leo DiCaprio, sitting along the wall, whispering into a phone in hushed tones. While he didn’t understand a word of what Agent 009 was saying, the behavior spoke volumes to Nick.

“What are you doing, Di-Crapio?”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Not your business, Carter.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Don’t you have some mission to wreck? I have my own business to handle.” The other blonde stood and walked off, shoving forcefully past Nick as he did.

Nick’s watch buzzed again, and he rolled his eyes rather than answering it. “K’s getting so pushy in his old age.”

This time, the watch screen opened on its own accord. K’s sharp green eyes flashed angrily. “I heard that, Carter.”

His new shadow, Styx, was already in the office when Nick stepped inside. As always when he was summoned, he felt like a kid in high school being sent to the principal’s office. K just somehow always had that effect on him, and he’d never been able to shake it. Styx grinned at him, and Nick raised a brow at K as he sat down before him.

“Okay, so what’s the deal?”

“Been watching the news, Nick? Or talking to Diamond?”

“Not yet…”

“Well, as you know, the Winter Olympics are currently going on in Vancouver, Canada…”

“You’re not telling me I gotta visit Avril’s homeland again?” A stern look silenced Nick immediately.

Styx sniggered. “Blame Canada…”

“As I was saying, Korean figure skater Kim Yu-Na has gone missing. She was the odds on for gold, and South Korea is furious about her disappearance. Every country is blaming everyone else. It’s worse than Jerry Springer, only worldwide. They requested HimTak’s assistance in the matter. I need you to go to Vancouver; find Kim Yu-Na and the person behind her disappearance. Evidence is leading to the idea that this could be an act to instigate problems between the global leaders, and Korea’s high-strung as it is.”

“Alright, so who are we going with?”

“I think you can handle this. It’s been some time since you’ve had a mission solo. Since your hiatus, actually. I think it’d be a good mission for you to help Styx get some good field action. Diamond does happen to be there on vacation with Mr. Lancybassy, however, should the situation spiral and you find yourself in need of backup.”

“I can handle it, K.”

“The helicopter leaves in an hour.”

The two stood, and Nick motioned for Styx as the two headed out. Nick was almost ready to skip. Finally, a solo mission!


  


“Niiiiick!” With a dazzling smile, the blonde practically skipped towards him, blue eyes alight, rosy cheeks aglow, and enveloped him in a fierce embrace. Their bodies slid against one another, as Nick’s winter coat met with slippery, pink fabric.

Nick patted the back of the shiny, pink parka awkwardly and pulled himself loose from the grip of the pink, angora mittens. Clearing his throat, he replied, “Nice to see you too, Lancybassy.”

“Oh, we’re so glad you’re here!” gushed Lancy, flapping his fuzzy mittens. “I’m all of a dither over Kimmy’s disappearance! I told Di here, if anyone can help us get to the bottom of it, 00Carter can.” Leaning into Diamond’s ear, he added under his breath, “Wouldn’t mind him getting to the bottom of me, either, if you know what I mean…” The secretary waggled his eyebrows suggestively, while Diamond tittered into her gloved hand.

Nick cleared his throat again, pretending not to hear. “Enjoying yourself, Miss Divine?” he asked, his eyes traveling the length of Diamond’s body. He wasn’t used to seeing her in so much clothing, but she even managed to look sexy in the sleek, silver jacket and tight jeans she wore tucked into fur-lined, high-heeled, white boots.

Diamond offered a flirtatious smirk and tossed her cascade of silken, blonde hair, half hidden beneath a loose-knit, white beret, over her shoulder. “Maybe not as much as I will now that you’re here, 00Carter,” she replied with a wink.

“Ditto!” sang Lancy.

“So, uh… can we get to the case?” They’d almost forgotten about Styx, who was standing at Nick’s side, looking uncomfortable. “You two know anything more than what Jay told us about this missing skater chick?”

“We told Jay everything we know,” said Diamond, “which is not much – well, unless you want to know the order of jumps in her short and long programs over the last four seasons, or the content of her most recent tweets on Twitter. If so, Lancy’s your man.”

“The tweets may come in handy,” Nick remarked, while Styx cocked his head at Lancy.

“Except her last one was in October, after she won gold at the Trophée Eric Bompard in Paris,” sighed Lancy miserably. He pulled out his pink Palm Pixi and waved it about. “Trust me, I’ve been checking.”

“Hm. Well, if there’s no word from Yu-Na herself, we’ll just have to talk to anyone who might have seen her before her disappearance.”

“Exactly why I suggested meeting us here,” said Lancy, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet as he gave a sweeping gaze, spreading his arms wide. “Olympic Village!”

Nick looked around, too. They were standing on a sidewalk outside a typical, mid-rise apartment building on the waterfront of False Creek, a small inlet in the heart of Vancouver.

“This is where all the athletes are staying,” Lancy elaborated. “I’ve already figured out the room numbers for all my favorite skaters. The Queen was in this building.”

“The Queen?”

“Queen Yu-Na! That’s the nickname fans gave her… though I’m partial to Kimmy,” shrugged Lancy. “Oh, I pray she’s found alive and well before the short program on Tuesday! She’s a shoe-in for the gold! She has to be there; she has to win!”

“Apparently someone disagrees,” said Nick. “I think we should start by interrogating other skaters – especially her closest competitors.”

Diamond nodded. “Everyone is thinking this is just another Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan plot, taken to the extreme. The police have already been questioning other skaters and their teams, but you’re right – that’s the logical place for us to start, too.”

“Well, sounds like you know who to talk to and where to find them, Lancy, so… lead the way!”

“Me, lead the mission?” Lancy flapped his hands in excitement. “Ooh, where to start, who to talk to first?! In a situation like this, there’s only one question to ask…”

Nick, Diamond, and Styx all raised their eyebrows, leaning closer in anticipation.

“…What would Brian Boitano do?”

Styx blinked. “…Brian Boitano?”

“Yes, Brian Boitano, 1988 Olympic champion!” Lancy paused just long enough to draw breath and then began to sing, “What would Brian Boitano do, if he were here right now? He’d make a plan, and he’d follow through… That’s what Brian Boitano’d do!”

Arms stretched towards the sky, Lancy did a little twirl, lost in song. “When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics, skating for the gold, he did two salchows and a triple lutz, while wearing a blindfold…”

“When Brian Boitano was in the Alps, fighting grizzly bears,” chimed in Nick, “he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair…”

In unison, they sang, “So what would Brian Boitano do, if he were here today? I’m sure he’d kick an ass or two… That’s what Brian Boitano’d do!”

Styx looked at Diamond. “They always like this?”

“Lancy prancing around in pink, and Nick singing his way through a mission?” Diamond paused, pretending to consider this. “Yeah, pretty much.”


  