Nick was staring down at his hands in his lap, carefully picking at an invisible spot on his finger, and I pretended to be looking at something out the window as I frantically attempted to blink away the tears that were blurring my vision.

Dr. Antoinelli sat in silence herself for several more long moments waiting for one of us to speak. When neither of us said a word... when it was clear that neither of us had any idea of the words to say... she removed her glasses carefully and folded her hands in front of her on her desk.

"Grace," she broke the silence and I finally turned back towards her, still not daring to look her in the eyes, "this doesn't have to be the end. We can try other treatments, you could do more chemothera..."

"No!" I cut her off harshly, probably too harshly. I knew that when I saw Nick from the corner of my eye. He lifted his head to look over at me, a concerned and questioning glance on his face.

"Just. No."

I'd said it softer this time and he reached over and placed his hand on my knee giving it a gentle squeeze.

"You're sure you don't want to try anymore treatments? Grace I know that this doesn't look good, but these treatments may at least give you more time."

My stomach lurched at her words and I could feel the anger building within me. Anger... or sadness. They all felt the same anymore. I looked at her and frowned. I knew in my heart that she was just trying to do what was best for me, but I also hated her in that moment. I'd just been given what I considered to be the worst news I could ever hear and all she was offering me was 'more time?'

I didn't just want 'more time'... I wanted a cure. I wanted the time I was supposed to get. The time to finish my masters degree and get married and enjoy being married. I wanted the time to have a family... I wanted to grow OLD with the man sitting beside me!

"No." I repeated... because it was the only word I could manage to choke out.

The tears were streaming steadily down my face and I felt Nick scoot his chair closer to mine. He took my hand in his and rubbed my wrist with his thumb. I tried me best to breathe and calm down but I couldn't. I needed to get out of this office right away. I needed to get as far away from this hospital as I could. I needed to get as far away from this damned disease... but I had no idea how.

I stood from the chair slowly and Nick got to his feet beside me. I looked at my doctor and tried to think only of how amazing she'd been throughout my illness. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't anyone's fault.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed as I looked from her eyes to Nick's, "I... I... I just can't do this anymore."

And with that I turned and ran quickly from the room.