"Ugh. You're pale, you look like crap and you're dying from cancer." I said it out loud to my reflection. I'd said it everyday for the past several weeks.

I let the words echo in my head for a few moments as I washed my face in the sink and brushed my teeth.

"But..." I went on closing my eyes and trying my best to think positively, "It's Christmas day, you are surrounded by family and friends and you're marrying the man of your dreams in just 6 days."

I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror again... this time I smiled.

This had become my morning ritual. I gave myself a moment each morning to get out all of my negative thoughts, those things that were bothering me most. I was allowed to list as many negative things as I wanted but I'd made the rule that for each negative I came up with I had to find a positive. It had become more difficult lately to think of enough positives to match the negatives, but there were definitely still positives there. I knew in my heart if I ever lost sight of the positives... well I might as well go ahead and give up.

I threw on some clothes and went out to the landing. I looked down the stairs and into the living room where Nick and Brian were wrestling with Baylee. I laughed as Nick lifted him up over his head and pretended to body slam him onto the couch. Brian came up from behind and tackled Nick and Baylee fell off the couching because he was laughing so hard. I stood there for a few more moments taking it all in, enjoying these moments and making them last before I headed down to join them.

"Good morning," I said cheerily as I walked over to the stereo and flipped on some Christmas music.

Nick hopped up off the couch and came over to where I stood. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck.

"Good morning babe."

We spent the next hour watching Baylee unwrap his gifts and then the next several hours after that putting them together and playing with them ourselves while he snored softly on the couch. It had been such a wonderful experience getting to view Christmas through a child's eyes. I'd all but forgotten what it really felt like to be a child on Christmas morning until I watched him ooh and awe over each small gift.

We'd gathered in the kitchen for lunch and were all sitting around enjoying quiet conversation when Nick disappeared into his office. He came out a few minutes later carrying a sloppily wrapped envelope that had a red bow stuck to the top. He handed it to me and smiled.

"Sorry about the shitty wrap job." He said as he sat down beside me and motioned for me to go ahead and open it.

I laughed, "it's okay... but I thought we'd finished with gifts." We'd promised not to go overboard with our gifts that year. We'd done a lot of work on the house and we're spending a good deal on our wedding.

"It's just a little something extra," He said as if it were nothing at all, "go on... open it."

I gently unwrapped the envelope and then slid the seal open pulling out the card. I opened it up and inside were two first class tickets to Australia. I held them up and looked over at him questioningly. I'd always wanted to go to Australia, but hadn't ever expressed that desire.

I'd stared at them for a few moments when I felt him take my hand. I turned and looked at him and he smiled.

"I want you and I to go to Australia for our honeymoon. We're going to stay in the same room, in the same hotel that I stayed at while I was in Perth."

"Aww... thank you Nick." I said leaning over and kissing him.

"It's nothing really... I just want us to see the sunrise there together."

I couldn't help but smile as a teardrop rolled down my cheek.