I sighed leaning my head back to rest against the seat of the car. I'd had a headache from the moment I opened my eyes, most likely from the combination of the vomiting I'd done the day before, and the medication they'd finally given me to stop the vomiting so I could sleep. I listened to the rest of my favorite Journey song before flipping off my ipod and tucking it away inside my overnight bag.

I reached down to the seat beside me to grab my pillow which was hidden beneath an emesis basin and a large hospital bag full of medications. I sat there for a moment and studied the scene. It was hard to believe that this is what my life had become -- barf buckets and bags full of medicine for pain and nausea. Oh... and pain and nausea. I grabbed the pillow, sending the basin scittering to the floor, and shoved it up against the window where I leaned my head in an attempt to find a comfortable position.

"You alright back there baby girl?" My father asked from the driver's seat, studying me carefully in the rearview mirror.

"I'm fine thanks," I answered tiredly, watching out the window as the trees passed by, "just ready to be home in my own bed."

"We'll be there soon sweetheart," my mom replied turning around in her seat and smiling reassuringly at me.

My mother and father had come to relieve Kelly that morning and I had sent Angel home with my car the night before. It was always nice having my parents there with me. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and I would stay home from school sick. My mom would tuck me into bed and sit with me, or fix me soup or rub my back and it felt good. Having a mom around to treat you like a kid again... well that part never got old.

"I talked to Brian this morning," she said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Really?" I asked... "I miss him."

"He misses you too. All the guys do. He said he loves you and wants you to know they all think about you constantly."

"I love him too. If you talk to him... tell him I said so."

Despite Brian's career he and I had always been close. He was 8 years older than I was and had always been extremely overprotective of me. I was his baby sister -- his only sister -- and he wouldn't let anybody forget it. It was no big secret that he hadn't liked the idea of Nick and I dating in the beginning. He'd all but kicked himself in the ass for bringing me along on the last leg of their Black and Blue Tour when he'd realized the two of us were a little more than just friends.

Brian and Nick were best friends though, and that would never change, even if Nick had started dating his sister. We knew Brian had finally accepted our relationship when he'd invited me out to Georgia two summers before to stay with him and Leighanne and had surprised me with another guest... Nick. And that summer was when our romance had really blossomed.

Everything wonderful I had in my life I owed to Brian.

I wiped away a tear that had formed in the corner of my eye as I sat and thought of the times we'd all shared that summer, not so long ago and yet so very, very long ago. Baylee was just a toddler then and we'd all had so much fun. We'd had cookouts and pool parties and picnics in the park, we'd gone to the zoo and to the beach and I'd had one of the best summers of my entire life. I had watched Brian and Leighanne with Baylee and envisioned what my life would someday be like. I had dreams of having a home on the beach with Nick and our family. We would be so happy and life would be so good.

My eyes came to rest on the emesis basin on the floor once more. Those dreams... MY dreams... it was hard to believe that in such a short amount of time they had all been shattered. I sniffled and wiped my eyes again focusing on the trees out the window and trying to take my mind off those thoughts.

"You sure you're okay?" My father asked again, the concern evident in his voice.

"I'm sure..."

I wasn't.

I wanted to get home and talk to Nick. I hadn't talked to him since the morning before in the car on the way to the hospital.

We talked several times most days but on chemo days he knew that I would be too sick to carry on a conversation and so Kevin would relay our messages back and forth or let him know how I was doing. I looked down at my watch, it was 2:00 in the afternoon which meant it would be the middle of the night for Nick. I would have to wait until evening.

I sighed again, my stomach churning. The nausea that had made my life so miserable the day before was but a small nuisance now. I once again leaned my head into the pillow and tried to find a comfortable position. I closed my eyes and wished for this day to be over, only I knew that tomorrow I would have to go through the chemo all over again.

If I could just get home and sleep for a while then I could wake up and call him... I could hear his voice... and everything would be okay.