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Author's Chapter Notes:

Hello! Here is chapter two. This will be the last chapter in third person. The rest will be told in first person. I hope it doesn't mess anyone up but I just felt like it flowed better in first person. Enjoy and as always, thanks for reading!!

 

 

A good friend is cheaper than therapy.  ~Author Unknown

 ~ 2 ~ 

 

The Odd Man Out  

By the time they got to the campsite, Nick was pretty tired. Sure, he was in much better shape than he used to be. One year ago, he most likely would have stopped halfway there and whined until someone met him with a golf cart or wheel barrel to take him the rest of the way up. He found himself not getting as winded and even managed to keep pace with Kevin as they made their way to the camp. The thing that killed him was that most of the hike was uphill.

 

“Whoever came up with the design of this place was an idiot.” He said as he plopped down on the grass.

 

Kevin looked over at Nick, “Why do you say that?”

 

“Because everyone is lugging stuff to this place, you’d think they wouldn’t make it so hard to get to.”

 

“Nick, it wasn’t that bad.”

 

“Yeah it was. That whole hike was uphill!”

 

“It’s just part of the fun of camping.” Kevin said as he unrolled the tent they would be sleeping in this trip.

 

“You would think that was fun.” Nick said as he rolled his eyes and grabbed more water from the cooler. At this rate he’d drink them all before Brian and AJ got there.

 

“Why don’t you come over and help me get this tent up.”

 

Nick laughed. How many times he had secretly dreamed for this moment. As corny as it sounded, one of the things he always wanted to do was to go on a camping trip with Kevin. The way the oldest member in his group used to tell stories about camping with his father and brothers would make Nick so jealous. Of course as a child, the other thing that added to that jealousy was knowing that Brian had gone with him on more than one occasion. All he ever wanted was to be a part of that family. Sure, he loved his own family more than life itself but it wasn’t until he saw the other guys with their families, that he realized how different his was.

 

When he was about fifteen years old, he actually asked Jerald if he could tag along on one of the Richardson/Littrell vacations. He was afraid to ask Kevin but knew maybe he’d have a shot at it if he asked someone else. Of course he was given the run around and told no. Back then he didn’t understand the difference between family time and band time. In his mind he was Brian and Kevin’s little brother and he couldn’t understand why on earth they didn’t want to be around him all the time. It killed him, devastated him to the point that he actually considered quitting the band. Especially when he overheard that it was Kevin that didn’t want him to go.

 

Looking back on it in retrospect, he got why they wouldn’t want him there. It would have turned into another babysitting gig for them, especially Brian who he wouldn’t leave alone the entire time they would be together. Even now as an adult, he still had a hard time separating the band from family. Because he had known these people for more than half of his life, they were his family. That’s why when Kevin called him out of the blue and asked him to go camping Nick almost squealed with delight. He couldn’t believe it, after all this time he was finally getting to go on that vacation.

 

It didn’t take the two men very long to get the tent up. Nick watched in awe as Kevin got everything together like an old pro. Within twenty minutes, their new home for the next four days was set up just the way Kevin wanted it, complete with fire.

 

“When was the last time you went camping Kevin?”

 

Kevin put the stick he was playing with down for a second and contemplated his answer. Nick couldn’t help but smile at that action. Everything his friend did was so calculated and had so much thought put into it. Kevin couldn’t ever just answer a simple question like this one, he had to marinate in it first.

 

“You mean with a tent and all?”

 

Nick nodded as Kevin continued, “I’d say it’s been about 5 years or so. I mean I’ve been camping a lot of times since then but not in a tent. The last time I put this tent up it was when I went camping for a weekend with my brothers, during one of our breaks.”

 

“I have always wanted to go camping with you and your brothers.” Nick admitted, now copying Kevin’s movements by grabbing a stick of his own.

 

“I know, I remember.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yeah, I remember one time you conveniently tried to invite yourself on one of our trips when you were just a kid.”

 

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you remember that!” Nick was so surprised that Kevin brought that up, he actually dropped his stick.

 

“Of course I do, it caused a lot of drama in my household.”

 

“It did?”

 

“My mother tore me a new asshole when Jerald told her about it. She made me feel so guilty that it’s all I thought about the entire trip. My vacation was ruined.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Nick lied, he wasn’t sorry at all. In fact it gave him great pleasure to know Kevin had gotten into trouble.

 

“Don’t be, she was right. When I saw the look of disappointment on your face I felt like an ass.”

 

Now Nick found himself feeling bad. “I was just a dumb kid Kevin.”

 

“I know, but still. I shouldn’t have made you feel that way.” He said as he once again grabbed his stick and poked it into his newly made fire. “It’s just that, we so seldom got a chance to spend time with our families you know, and you were such a hyper kid back then…”

 

“I know Kev…I mean back then I didn’t, but now I do.”

 

“Back then I should have known better, not you.” This conversation was kind of shocking Nick. During their time together in the band there were quite a few occasions when an apology should have been said and yet never uttered. Of course it worked both ways but one of the perks of being so young when they first started was the so called lack of maturity when it came to things like admitting you were wrong. Unfortunately for Kevin, he was mature enough to know such things and often got into trouble for them. That never prevented him from sticking to his guns and refusing to apologize when he said or did something to upset a very young Nickolas.

 

“Back then we all said and did things we shouldn’t have.” Nick admitted honestly.

 

Kevin nodded and smiled at his friend. “Well, I’m sorry for it just the same.”

 

“Apology accepted.” Nick reached over and placed his hand on Kevin’s shoulder, “And I’m sorry for always being a huge pain in everyone’s ass, because believe me, I get it now.”

 

Kevin laughed at that, “The show you mean?”

 

Nick nodded, “Hell yes. Those kids drove me half way to crazy. I’m not sure how you guys were able to deal with me.”

 

“It was a challenge at times, but I don’t ever recall you barking at me.”

 

At the reference to Aaron’s barking, Nick seemed surprised. “You watched?”

 

It’s funny that one day in the middle of all the chaos, Nick muttered to himself, “I wonder if Kevin is watching this?” he was surprised that he hadn’t gotten a call from Kevin about the show. True, he barely talked to the guy after he up and quit the band, but he was almost certain that the second his ex band mate heard about the reality show the phone would ring.

 

Nick was actually disappointed when that didn’t happen. It’s almost like he wanted Kevin to try to talk him out of it. Not that he would have listened or anything because by the time the news of the show was going around he was already too far into it to turn away, but even still. A call would have been nice.

 

The only one who ever asked how the show was going was AJ. It’s like the other two could really care less and that kind of hurt his feelings. He needed the support of the group but once again felt like it wasn’t there. That’s when he found himself missing Kevin, while he was filming House of Carters. The guidance he always got from the oldest and self professed wisest member of the band was something he often took for granted until it was no longer there.

 

“Did you doubt I would?” Kevin asked surprised.

 

Nick shrugged, “I wasn’t sure you were even aware of it.”

 

“Nick, I know all…remember?”

 

“I’m just surprised you didn’t call or anything to scream at me for being a dumbass.”

 

“I wanted to, but I thought you didn’t want to hear from me. You weren’t the most cordial guy after I quit. I had no idea where I stood with you.”

 

“I was mad.”

 

Kevin laughed at that, “Oh really? I wasn’t able to tell.”

 

“I’m still mad.”

 

“Nick, come on…”

 

“I still don’t get why you left.” And he really didn’t. In fact he couldn’t believe how quickly his mood changed just thinking about it. He felt so abandoned and lied to when Kevin decided not to come back since he was the one who always talked about ‘forever’ when it came to the status of the Backstreet Boys. When Nick went solo, it was Kevin who gave him an hour or so lecture about loyalty. Then what does he do? He up and quits with no further explanation than “It’s just not for me anymore.”

 

“I wasn’t happy.” Kevin answered honestly.

 

“Are you happy now?”

 

Once again Kevin didn’t answer immediately. He sat there with his hand on his chin. Of course he was happy. What a dumb question that was. Nick knew what he was going to say. He had a little boy now. He had the freedom to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He had a beautiful wife, an incredible house and family.

 

“I’m very happy, but I do miss you guys.”

 

“It’s not the same anymore.” Nick confessed. “Since you left, it feels so different.”

 

“I would hope it feels different. If it didn’t, I would say something was wrong.” Kevin glanced over and saw the humdrum look on his friend’s face and continued, “How is it different?”

 

“The vibe is just off. Don’t get me wrong, we are having a ton of fun now, more than we ever have before. We can laugh and have a great time…”

 

“And not get bitched at by me?” Kevin interrupted.

 

Nick laughed, “I didn’t say that…but yeah, okay…that’s true.”

 

“Uh huh, and?”

 

“And what?”

 

“How else is the vibe different, or did you just mean me not being there to bitch at you?”

 

“Oh, no there’s more. I sometimes feel like an outsider, looking in.”

 

“What do you mean by that?”

 

“Just that I feel like they all have so much more in common and I’m the odd man out. It’s just a weird feeling, especially now that Howie is married. AJ is more settled down and he and Brian are so close now.”

 

Kevin gave Nick a look of understanding, “I used to feel like that sometimes to.”

 

“The odd man out?” Nick asked.

 

Kevin nodded, “It was always you and Brian and AJ and Howie. I was like the older brother who was no fun and no one wanted to be around.”

 

“That’s not true Kev…”

 

“Yeah it was. I mean it didn’t always feel like that but at the beginning, I was that odd man out.”

 

Nick couldn’t refute what Kevin was saying because it was the truth. Kevin was the odd man out; in fact Brian would use those same words sometimes while they were in the middle of playing a video game or shooting hoops.

 

“I feel for Kevin.” He would say, “It’s like he’s the odd man out…” Brian would ask Nick if it was okay if he invited his cousin to tag along. All the young blond would do was roll his eyes and say hells no. At first, Brian misconstrued that for hatred. He was certain that Nick disliked Kevin, but in all honesty it was more a jealousy issue. Nick was just afraid that if he let the older guy tag along, Brian would divert his attention to his cousin and it would be the thirteen year old who would be left in the dust.

 

“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that.” Nick apologized.

 

“It’s okay Nick, I’m just saying I know how you feel. I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m sure it’s not their intent. Have you talked to them about it?”

 

Nick shook his head, “It’s not worth it. They’ll just make fun of me, call me childish and they’d probably be right. I guess it’s all just part of growing up.”

 

“Well, sometimes growing up sucks.” Kevin admitted.

 

Nick let out a small laugh, “Yeah it does.”

 

“Nick…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“For the record, even though I think your show was a big mistake, I can tell it helped you.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Kevin nodded, “I watched every week, sometimes with only one eye opened. Some of that was hard to get through.”

 

“You should have been there.”

 

“I was and that’s why it was painful to witness over again.”

 

“I went into therapy after that.”

 

“I know. Brian mentioned that to me.”

 

“It helped.”

 

“I can tell. I’m proud of you Nickolas.”

 

Nick looked up and felt a faint flutter in the pit of his stomach. Those words coming out of Kevin’s mouth meant so much more to him than they would from anybody else. In fact, out of anyone else’s mouth, those same words meant nothing.

 

“Thanks Kevin, it’s nice to hear someone say that.”

 

“I’m sure other people have said that to you.”

 

“I guess, but it’s not the same.”

 

Kevin smiled. “My words shouldn’t mean anymore to you than anyone else’s.”

 

“I know and believe me; it pisses me off that they do!”

 

Both men laughed.