True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.  ~Dave Tyson Gentry

  ~ 6 ~  

The Things We Do     

After playing around under the waterfalls and becoming un-smelly in the process, Kevin and I managed to make our way to his favorite spot for fishing. It wasn’t until then, that I realized how familiar he was with this place. The way he knew exactly where everything was made it seem like this was his second home. I have to admit when he said that fishing was something he just wanted us to have together, I had this feeling of pride. It makes me so angry sometimes how much I let this guy mean to me. I’ve tried to not be like that, but no matter how hard I try, Kevin can either make or break my day. It’s always been like that and it’s so frustrating!

Kevin is very big on fly fishing; in fact he taught me how to do it. He decided that just a good old fashioned rod would be better for fishing today though. Fly fishing in this water would produce poor results he told me as he gave me a pole and took one for himself. That bummed me out but it was all good I guess. Of course a fishing trip with Kevin wouldn’t be complete without at least one stupid looking fishing hat. This one had tackle attached to it. The one he tossed my way was just stupid looking, but still because it was Kevin, I took it and placed it on my head. If the other guys were here, I’d probably veto the whole idea but they weren’t because fishing is OUR thing and not theirs.

He handed me the tackle box and he brought along a pail to place the gazillions of fish he was sure we would catch.

“What about snacks?” I asked him just as we were about to leave our tent.

“Snacks?”

“Yeah, you know…in case we get hungry.”

“Nick, is food all you think about?”

“No, when I’m not thinking about food, I’m thinking about sex.”

“Well, you aren’t getting any of that on this trip.”

“Right, so food will have to do; besides…I’ve lost a ton of weight you know!”

He smiled at me, “I know that….one can still be skinny and obsess over food.”

“Wow, you called me skinny. Did you think that would ever happen?”

“I used to call you scrawny when you were a kid.”

“That’s because I was a scrawny kid.”

“You are skinny and you want to stay that way so, no snacks for you!” He said in his best Soup Nazi voice.

“We still haven’t officially even eaten breakfast yet!” I whined and yes I caught myself after it was too late.

“Uh oh…do we need to call the whambulance?”

I rubbed my belly as an added effect. “No, I’ll stop whining, I guess.” I pouted at him as he moved slightly ahead of me.

“Glad to hear it…by the way you look great! I’m sorry I didn’t mention it earlier.” He turned around and winked at me. Ooh I think he likes me!

“Do you have a man crush on me Kevin?”

“Okay, not talking to you anymore until we get to the watering hole.”

“You can tell me, it is okay. No one has to know.”

“Not listening to you!”

I laughed and continued to follow him about ten million miles to our destination. Okay maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but not by much. What is it about this guy and walking? Can’t we ever go somewhere close? “I hope we don’t catch any whales because I’m not carrying them all the way back to camp!” I said to him once I saw the first sign of water.

“I don’t think we’ll catch any whales Nick.”

He placed his stuff down on the ground and motioned for me to hand him the tackle box. I was just about to complain about the long ass walk but decided against it. I mean he made a big deal out of this being our thing. If I started to complain he’d erase me and substitute his cousin instead and I’d be reduced to having something crappy be our thing like…tobogganing, although that’s pretty fun too.

“Hello?” He was waving his hands in front of my eyes. “Did I lose you?”

“What is the thing you do with Brian?” Okay I know that was random, maybe he’ll just follow my train of thought.

“Huh?”  Or maybe not.

“Fishing is our thing, what is yours and Brian’s thing?”

“We don’t have a thing.”

“Really?”

He laughed at the way I said that. I’m so pathetic.

“He’s my cousin, we don’t need a thing.”

“What about AJ?”

“We don’t really have a thing either, but I guess golf would be it.”

“You can’t have golf, it’s already Brian and AJ’s thing.”

“I didn’t know there was a rule book to things.” He said as he carefully snaked the bait onto his hook, motioning for me to do the same.

“Well, I’m just saying…” I shrugged at him.

“What’s your thing with AJ?” He asked while he watched me put the bait on my hook. “Give me that.” He took my pole and of course fixed the bait for me.

“I don’t really have a thing with AJ either. We just hang.”  I admitted.

We walked over to the edge of the riverbank and sat down, placing our rods into the water. I guess that was one of the good things about regular fishing, we could just sit here on the edge and not have to get ourselves wet.

“How has AJ been?” Kevin asked once he was all set in his fishing mode.

“He’s been good. I think he’s at the top of his game. His solo stuff sounds great as well. Have you heard any of it?”

“Yeah, he sent me some tracks, they are fantastic.”

I nodded, “Everyone is behind him. I think he’ll do well.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“What do you mean?” I knew what he meant. I’m not sure why I asked for clarification.

“Because when you went solo you didn’t quite receive the same reaction.” He wasn’t looking at me but instead focusing on the water.

“I’m happy for him, but yeah…sometimes it bothers me, I guess.”

“Things were really bad back then. It was the timing Nick.”

“Yeah, I know or so I’m always told. Still, it would have been nice to have some support.” I sounded like a bitter old man but it hurt. I mean Brian was ready to replace me for God’s sakes. No matter how much I can pretend otherwise, I’ll never get over that.

“We were all proud of you.”

“That’s news to me.”

“Bull shit! I told you how proud I was of you!” He snapped at me.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Shortly after I sent the album to all the guys, Kevin called me up and said it was great. I don’t think the others even bothered to listen to it, to be honest; I wouldn’t be surprised if they still haven’t.

Now it was my turn to apologize to him, “I’m sorry I never came to see you in Chicago. That probably felt the same way.”

“That’s okay.” He paused for a few moments and then turned to me, “You really have grown up kiddo.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because a few years ago you would have never even thought about the Chicago thing but now your brain just naturally went there.”

“I was a terrible person.”

“No you weren’t. You were never terrible... maybe a little terror, but not terrible. Don’t say stuff like that, you know it pisses me off.”

“I was selfish.”

“You were young.”

I sighed, “I’m not young anymore.”

“Neither am I.”

“Were you ever?”

He laughed and shook his head, “I walked right into that one.”

“Yes, you did Kevin…yes you did.”

I decided to place my feet into the water and cringed at how cold it was. “No wonder fish are always in a bad mood. I would be too if I had to live in friggin freezing water all the time.”

He looked over at me, “How do you know that fish are in a bad mood?”

“Think about it man, all they do is swim and then get caught so they can be eaten. That has to suck, right?”

“It’s just a natural progression.”

“Like they would understand that, they’re fish dude.”

“You should have that logo printed on tee shirts. “They’re fish dude!””

“Maybe one of my fans will make me one.”

“They’d have to overhear this conversation first.”

“True.”

“Nick, why do I always feel like our conversations are otherworldly sometimes?”

“What do you mean?”

He laughed, “Never mind.”

We sat in silence for awhile. I hate the quiet, or I used to at least. I always felt like someone was mad at me when it was too quiet. Seriously, I’d get all paranoid that the next time someone did say something it would have to do with me messing up in some way. Oh I know why I felt like that…because it was almost always true.

Johnny was infamous for the long pauses of quiet before yelling. When we were younger he and his wife would sit us down and just pace around us as if they were sharks ready to lunge. They wouldn’t say one word until one of us would finally ask them if something was wrong. Nine out of ten times the answer to that question would be, “I don’t know…Nick do you think anything is wrong with the way you just performed?”

“Do you remember when Johnny and Donna would lecture us after bad performances?”

He glanced over at me, “Yeah, why?”

“I hated that.”

He laughed at me again, “That was random.”

“I know.”

Kevin turned his attention back to his fishing rod and the water. He looked so at peace and happy. He was actually smiling at nothing. When was the last time I have ever said that concerning Kevin? How about never?

“Nick.” He said really slowly, “Why are you staring at me?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. You were smiling about something and it threw me off.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Kevin is smiling so the world must be coming to an end, is that it?”

“No, I just thought maybe you were thinking about your son or something.”

“I was…wow, how did you know that?”

“Because you were smiling for no reason, only your son could do that to you I think.”

“I was just thinking about the first time I’ll take him out here to fish.”

I nodded and smiled because I knew that was exactly what he was thinking. Seeing Kevin as happy as he was when it came to his son, almost made me want to have one of my own…almost. Well for a second at least…on second thought, forget I even said that.

We sat in silence once again. My mind usually starts to wander when it’s too quiet. Of course since the last thing we talked about was his son, I was wondering if he regretted coming out here with me when he could be home with his family instead. If four days was too much for him and maybe tonight he’d say “Let’s call Brian and AJ and tell them not to come because I want to go back home.” I would understand that. It was nice of him to even leave them at all and at least we got a chance to do our thing. We have a thing Kevin and I. He doesn’t really have a thing with anyone else though.

“Maybe one day, years from now you and I can come out here with Mason and who knows, maybe you’ll have a son of your own by then. We can take them camping and teach them how to fish.”

“I’d like that.” I answered honestly. “But I’m not going to have a son anytime soon.”

“I didn’t say anytime soon, so relax.” He shook his head at me and my fear of commitment.

Once again we were quiet. I think we were boring the fish because there were none in sight. I wiggled my feet in the water hoping to see at least something living swim underneath them. When the water stilled, nothing was there but feet. Mine and Kevin’s both dangling next to each other like Opie and Andy.

“I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this.” Kevin said as he glanced over my way.

“Me too, maybe Brian and AJ will bring us some pizzas.”

“I hope so because no one will deliver all the way out…wait a minute….” He got all excited when his line was tugged by something. The tug was so strong I was even able to tell.

“Holy crap!” I said, moving my feet out of the water just in case it was a shark. I know…

He started reeling in the line as fast as he could and I suddenly became his cheerleader. “Go Kevin! You can do this! Get that fish…come on man!” I swear all I was missing were the stupid pom poms.

With one final tug he pulled the line from the water and a huge fish, I mean GIGANTIC fish was on the end. This fish was so big that I think it could probably eat Howie, although even a minnow could do that, Howie is so tiny.

“Grab him while I take the line out.” He said, but before I could think about it, he plopped Gigantor into my hands. The thing was Sumo wrestling me, I swear it was. I almost dropped it twice by the time Kevin got that bait out of the thing’s mouth. I dropped him in the pail Kevin brought along and he just about damn near took up the whole thing.

“Holy Shit Kev…what the hell kind of fish is that?”

“I think it’s a trout.”

“They should come with labels on them, don’t you think?”

He laughed at me, “I wish.”

“Don’t forget to kiss it.”

“I’m afraid it might try to kiss me back.”

“I understand that, wow that fish must have been the bully who tries to steal everyone’s lunch money. I bet you are the new hero here!” I pat his back as I imagined a fish world where Kevin Richardson was king.

“There’s a ton of them now!” He said as I quickly tossed my line out into the water. Within minutes I was pulling up fish of my own.

By the end of our fishing excursion between us both we had over a dozen fish. None of them as big as Gigantor which is a good thing because of the ten trillion mile walk we had back to our tent, but still all big enough to eat and be merry even.

“Well little man, I think we had ourselves a pretty productive day, don’t you think?”

I nodded at him. “I have never caught this many fish in my life.”

“Same here.” He said as he looked out at the water and fell silent again. I was trying to read his mind. My guess is it was time to call his family.

“Hey Kevin…”

He glanced over at me as he took his feet out of the water. I guess it was about time for us to leave. “Yeah?”

“Do you call Mason your little man?” I’m not sure why I asked that. Maybe because I felt like my time as the little man was all but over. Now it just seems odd when he calls me that considering I’m so close to being 30.

He stood up and gave me his hand, “No, that’s our thing!” He said winking at me.

Cool! We have two things!!

“Now grab the bucket of fish and let’s go. I’m starving!”

Great! I knew I was going to get stuck carrying the fish! Pfft!