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Nick had told the guys that night everything he had told Brian at the end of dinner so he would still have some appetite left and like he suspected they understood a lot better than he thought they would. He felt a lot better for getting everything off of his chest. Nick however did end up leaving most of my story out of the picture because he didn’t feel right telling everyone about my situation, just that I helped open him up and that he could trust me.
It was about eleven at night when I got a knock on my door. I was in my pajamas and in bed watching some movie that was on the hotel channel. I got out from underneath my sheets and went to the door. Looking in the peep hole I saw Nick standing there and I couldn’t help but laugh at the way he looked through the peep hole.

“Hey doll face,” I said opening up the door.

“Hey,” Nick swallowed a lump in his throat as he looked me up. “I didn’t uh, wake you did I? I can come back tomorrow morning.”

“No, I never fall asleep before two, I was just getting to relax, come on in. Just in time for some movie,” I held the door open wider and Nick stepped in. I couldn’t help but notice how Nick looked me up and down. I was wearing a pair of satin baby blue shorts and a white tank top, nothing too spectacular.
“How can I be of service Mr. Carter?” I asked in an English accent.

“Just stopping by to say hi and let you know I talked to the guys and Brian. You were right they understood.”

“When am I wrong?” I laughed and sat on my bed.

“Every other time!” Nick said tickling my sides. “Nah that would be me, you’re always right.”

“Well, someone has to be on the road. You wanna hang out for a bit?”

“I thought we could go for a walk, unless you’re tired?”

“NEVER! Let’s go!”

“Uh, are you going to get dressed?”

“Why? Do I look that bad?”

“No, no! I just meant—“”

“I’m playing Carter, shish! So, do we need to get a body guard for you anything?”

“Nah, you have pretty big guns,” Nick squeezed my bicep, “I feel safe enough.”

“Gee thanks,” I slipped on a pair of sneakers and grabbed my room key. I followed Nick out of the hotel and we began walking down the side walk. The air was warm with a cool breeze.

“So, how are you and everything? Asthma okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I recover fast from pretty much anything,” I smiled. “How about you mister?”

“Oh, I’m better now, thanks to you.” I smiled up at Nick and then there was an awkward silence.

“TAG, you’re it!” I hit Nick’s shoulder and began sprinting down the side walk. Nick was left confused but finally began running after me. I was doing leaps and dance moves, cartwheels and everything else I could think of down the side walk.

“You’re crazy you know it?” Nick said catching up to me.

“I know!” I said and took off over to a park that caught my eye. I went and sat up on a bench. “It’s beautiful tonight, doesn’t the sky look green?”

Nick looked over to me as though I had two heads on my shoulder.

“Babe its night and I don’t think I’ve ever seen the sky green,” Nick laughed looking up.

“No think about it, we say that ocean looks green, when we really see it blue and teal together. But what is green ya know? How do we not know it’s a shade lighter than black or midnight blue?” I looked at Nick seeing if he understood anything what I was saying. “Or…you can just think I am a total lunatic and if that’s the case you may want to leave now because I am just starting.” Nick started laughing and he shook his head.
“What, what’s so funny?”

“Nothing, you just made me think of one of our songs.”

“Oh, a good or bad one?”

“A real good one, actually the whole song makes me think of you.”

“And which one is that darlin’?” I asked Nick almost in a seductive voice, raising my left eyebrow up. And then all of a sudden Nick began singing:





Yeah, yeah
It seems like yesterday when I said "I do"
And after all this time my heart still burns for you
If you don't know by now that you're my only one
Take a look inside me and watch my heartstrings come undone

I know I promised you forever
Is there no stronger word I can use
To reassure you when the storm is raging outside
You're my safest place to hide

Can you see me, here I am
I need you like I needed you then
When I feel like giving up
I promise inside your heart I still find
You're my safest place to hide

You see colors no one else can see
In every breath you hear a symphony
You understand me like nobody can
I feel like my soul unfolding like a flower blooming

When this whole world gets too crazy
And there's nowhere left to go
I know you give me such a worry
You're the only truth I know
You're the road back home

Can you see me, here I am
Standing here where I've always been
And when words are not enough
I promise inside your heart I'd still find
You're my safest place to hide
My safest place to hide

I know I promised you forever
There's no stronger word I can use
To reassure when the storm is raging outside
You're my safest place to hide

Oh! Can you see me, here I am
Standing here where I've always been
When I feel like giving up
I promise inside your heart I'd still find
Yeah, yeah
You're my safest place to hide, oh yeah
You're my safest place to hide
- Backstreet Boys “Safest Place to Hide” from Never Gone

“Wow, Nick that was beautiful and one of my favorite songs,” I smiled sitting up.

“Yeah, mine too. Hey it’s getting late we should head back to the hotel and you’re sounding like you’re weezy.” He stood up and reached out his two hands for mine and pulled me up into him.

“I’m fine.” I whispered, our faces inches from one another. There was a loud crack of lightening and the roll of thunder followed it. Our bodies jumped together and Nick pulled me in for a hug. Drops of rain kissed our faces and began to fall faster and faster.

“We better run.”

“Nah, the rain is a great soul cleanser. Let’s walk.”

~*~*~*~*~*~
The next morning I woke up to the radio alarm playing “Not Ready to Make Nice” by the Dixie Chicks. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and to focus on the time.

“Four-thirty workout here I come,” I yawned, wanting to go back to sleep so bad, I pulled the sheets off of me and got dressed to go running. I felt drained and more tired than when I usually wake up at this time. I would run for an hour and then hit up the hotel’s weight room for a half hour and then dance for an hour all before 8 am rolled around. I was supposed to meet everyone to walk around Cincinnati before getting ready for our show.

I was in the ball room doing some stretching at 7 to dance a little. I brought my Ipod Home into the room so I could dance. I warmed up to a couple of Backstreet dances and then was going to do some lyrical dancing.

Three Doors Down’s “Away from the Sun” came on. I felt an instant emotional attachment to this song, an almost sadness.
“I’m over it, I’m tired of living in the dark, can anyone see me down here? The feelings gone, there’s nothing left to lift me up back to the world I’ve known…” The music blared and I did a back handspring step out to my knees. At the end of the song, tears stung my eyes as I laid on the floor, knees tucked into my chest for the pose. “Great, it’s going to be one of those emotional for no reason days…” I said to myself and was interrupted to clapping. Brian, Nick, and Kevin were in the doorway. My cheeks grew warm and I quickly brushed the tears away.

“Lookin’ good,” Brian said doing a leap into the ball room.

“Can’t say the same for you,” I laughed. Brian’s face dropped but then turned into a huge grin and he continued to leap around the room

“Better?” He called out dancing around me.

“Keep practicing Rok,” Kevin called out. “Do you make up your own routines or are these from previous dancing experiences?”

“Mostly my own, I mean I hardly ever do the same routine twice, I just go with what I feel, I can dance to anything.” I shrugged and took a sip from my almost empty water bottle.

“It’s not even eight am yet, what time did you get up?” Nick asked almost grumpily.

“Uh-early.”

”So you dance to what you feel, dance to the next song that’s on your play list.” Brian walked over to my Ipod and hit the next button. “Secret Garden” by Bruce Springsting came on.

“Easy, it’s my theme song,” I winked and walked away.

“If that’s true Nicky, you’re screwed,” Kevin joked. Nick looked confused. “Listen to the lyrics,”

Nicks Point of View

As I watched Hailey dance, I concentrated on the lyrics that were playing. Her body moved slowly and gracefully to the music. It was all about this woman who wouldn’t let anyone into her heart, her secret garden. It made me want to get to know her even more. Although she told me a huge part of her life, with her eating disorder, I feel like there’s more to that than what’s she’s letting on. On the outside she is this tough, fun, free-spirited girl, in her eyes, there’s something else that I can’t read.
I wouldn’t be able to ever dance to this song because it’s incredibly slow, but she was doing a lot of ballet moves, some walk-over things. Brian changed the music just before it ended.
“Now here is a good song!” Aerosmith’s “Crying” came on. A few of the other dancers, including, Howie and A.J. came into the room. Katie immediately went to Hailey and they somehow began dancing together right away. A few of the other dancer’s follwed and soon enough we were all dancing.
At the end of the song, there was a loud, steady clap from the door way. It was Amber and Teale. We couldn’t figure out why Teale hung out with her, she seemed more kind hearted than Amber.
“Wasn’t that yours and Kara’s song?” I looked to see what Hailey would do to respond. She looked tired and I saw a flicker of sadness in her eyes.
“I’m going to bring my stuff back upstairs and change. I’ll meet you down for breakfast in ten.” She gathered her things quickly and left the room. Should I follow her? Do I stay? Do I kick Amber’s ass for reminding her of pain? I stayed and walked with the others as soon as I saw Katie follow her.
“Can we get Amber off this tour?” Brian whispered walking by.
“We won’t have anyone to fill in, or we would,” Howie responded.

We ate breakfast in the dining room together and Katie and Hales joined. Hailey sat down next to me and smiled.

“Morning,” she took a sip of her orange juice.

“Good morning, so what time did you get up?” She shrugged her shoulders at me looked over her menu.

“Six?” I asked.

“Four-thirty.” She replied.

“What? Were you dancing since then?”

“No, I do this every morning. It’s kinda stuck with me since gymnastics…running, weight lifting, dancing.” Her eyes never left the menu.

“But you run in the evenings, and I thought we were going to start running then too.”

“I know.”

“That’s too much exercise.”

“Nah,I’ve been doing it for a while. I’m going to get the egg whites with fruit, what about you?”

“Hale’s, you seem up tight this morning. Everything okay?”

“Fine.” She glanced my way and smiled. Just as I was about to rebut her, the waiter came over and took our order.

“So, I was thinking we’d do some walking around and then play some b-ball at the courts in that huge park we drove by yesterday.” Brian announced and shoveled pancakes into his mouth.

“Ooo, that sounds fun!” Hailey said excitedly. Her eyes sparkled; she looked herself again, although she wasn’t touching her food. She had taken a few sips of her orange juice and drank two glasses of water. I wondered if our talk yesterday upset her more than she would tell. I also felt as though she were avoiding me eyes. We finished breakfast and then took off to walk around the city.


Lyrics: "Safest Place to Hide"-BSB