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Melody hung up the phone and stared out the window.  Yes, what was she going to do?  About the whole gay thing…and also about the guitar.  Because Tom had finally got around to asking her opinion about it.

They hadn’t seen any reviews because, by the time the newspapers came out, they were in a different country.  They were going on audience reaction alone.  The audience didn’t seem to mind when Nick played the guitar…or didn’t play it, as was more the case.  But to Melody’s professional ear, it didn’t fit, and it weakened an otherwise awesome show.  It took all of the incredible songs and his beautiful voice, and it negated all of it, making him seem like a boyband rockstar-wannabe…Nicky trying to play with the big kids.

This was their second day in London.  Yesterday morning, they had flown over from Stockholm.  Now that was a quiet flight, laughed Mel to herself.  She had gone back to the hotel after the concert, as had Rashad and Blaine, but the others went out clubbing.  The three had a nightcap in the hotel bar and turned in early.  Toby had said he wasn’t going to go out, but Melody had seen him getting into a taxi, as she was coming out of the bar.  And he looked more tired than the rest of them the next day.

They spent the day quietly, except for Nick, who had radio interviews and television appearances, promoting tonight’s concert.  Melody listened to Toby prepping him with questions.  Toby was good at it.  He made good suggestions to Nick.  Melody thought she’d mention it to the assistant when she had a chance – maybe it would make him less hostile toward her.

Melody took a bus tour, and Scott accompanied her, enjoying one of his rare days off.  They took pictures and pointed and gaped and enjoyed each other’s company thoroughly.  Over lunch, they discussed the tour and cautiously gave opinions on things. Neither wanted to come off as unprofessional, but by the end of the lunch, Melody knew that Scott’s opinion on the guitar issue was the same as hers.

By the end of lunch, Melody also knew that Scott would be willing to have sex with her if she wanted.  Boy, talk about a dance!  That conversation went round and round and changed key several times before Scott managed to spit out what he wanted to say – which was that he wasn’t interested in Melody emotionally, but that he had enjoyed their previous physical encounters, and if she ever needed to get her ashes hauled on tour, he would be happy to help her out with it and be totally discreet.

Melody accepted the offer with a thanks, but I don’t think so, Scotty. 

Suit yourself, he told her, but you’re on a whole other continent and you might need someone you can trust.

Melody laughed to herself.  They were only going to be in Europe for a few weeks.  If Scott thought she didn’t go that long without sex, then he didn’t have a grasp of her real life.  How long had it been, she wondered.  Let’s see, she and Jase had finished their little tempest in a teapot nearly six months ago.  That had been like a flash fire.  They came together quickly, set each other ablaze for awhile and then turned to ashes. 

Melody knew that Jase had wanted it to be more, but it just got too intense too fast.  Then when he asked her to go on the road and she refused, he got hurt.  But it was the right thing.  Melody would have been fulfilling two roles, and in her first time on the road, she thought it would take all her attention just to fill one. 

Since then, there’d been a couple of casual encounters, one with Jack when he was between women and seeking solace, and one with the bartender at Pineapple Ranch.  They’d been flirting with each other for nearly a year during her occasional gigs and had finally succumbed a couple of months ago.  It wouldn’t happen again, she knew that.  It hadn’t lived up to expectations for either of them.  Melody just hoped Stevie Ray never found out. 

She looked at her watch.  Almost time to get going to rehearsal.  Now, she wondered, how did one go about telling someone she wasn’t gay?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what do the reviews say?”  Rafe picked up a pen and prepared to take notes.

“The Amsterdam review is pretty good.  The guy liked the songs, loved Alias Me and Bridge to Nowhere, mentioned that there was no Backstreet but said it wasn’t missed.  Liked the band.”

“Did it mention Nick and the guitar?”  Rafe mentally crossed his fingers.

“Um…yeah, it said, wait a sec…yeah, here it is…I quote, ‘Carter’s voice is so strong, and his songs are so powerful that he doesn’t need anything else.  He doesn’t have to prove himself on the guitar, he has fine backup musicians for that.’  End of quote.”

“That’s it?”

“Yep,” said Tom.  “That’s it.”

“Shit.  Okay, what about the Swedish one?”

Rafe could hear Tom shuffling through papers.  He rolled his eyes and tried to be patient.

“Okay, this is from the Dagen Nyheter.”  Tom tried three times to say the Swedish words, while Rafe gritted his teeth and waited.  “Same kind of thing…liked the music…band is good…Nick’s voice is wonderful…no mention of Backstreet at all…”

“And the guitar?”  What the fuck did Tom think Rafe wanted to hear about?

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?  Nothing at all?” 

“Nope, but in the other one, the other newspaper, the Dagen…weird, isn’t it, how the newspapers have almost the same name…”

Rafe wondered if Tom had any idea how much transatlantic phone calls cost.

“…it mentions it.  It’s says it’s…I quote, ‘if there is a weakness in the show, it is when Carter sets aside his marvelous voice and picks up the guitar.  It’s not that he’s bad at it, it just isn’t necessary.’ End of quote.”

There was a silence.  Tom knew better than to interrupt.  He could practically hear Rafe’s wheels turning.

“Maybe we were wrong.” 

Tom was stunned.  Boy, there was a sentence he never expected to hear out of Rafe Ariando’s mouth!

“Melody doesn’t think so.”  Tom cautiously floated the sentence out into the airwaves.

“How do you know?” asked Rafe.

“Because I asked her.  She didn’t want to say, but I kind of made her.  The others feel the same way too, you can tell when they’re on stage.  During every other song, they’re into it with him and they’re laughing and grinning at each other and just having a great time.  But as soon as he straps on that guitar, they stop making eye contact…with him, with the audience, with each other.   It’s like they don’t want to be part of it.”

“Okay, so we weren’t wrong!”  Rafe’s universe was back in the right order.

“Yeah, but what are we going to do about it?  These reviews won’t be enough to convince him to give it up.”

“Well then, I guess we’ll just have to get some more reviews.”

Rafe hung up the phone and leafed through his Filofax.  He stopped at a card and looked at it thoughtfully.  Then he picked up his phone and told his secretary to get him an overseas number..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Melody closed the drapes on her hotel window and climbed into bed.  She scrunched down into the pillow and thought over the day.   Melody loved London.  She had used every available second to explore it and was determined to come back here on her own sometime.  She might bring Chrissy and Ben-two, if she could ever pry them away from that stick-in-the-mud mother of theirs. 

Tomorrow she was going to do another exciting thing.  She was going to go on a train.  She’d never been on one, other than a subway train.  They were going to Liverpool.  She knew what spots she wanted to visit there!  They all did!  The Cavern Club and all the other Beatles landmarks!

Maybe she’d get an opportunity on the train to talk to Nick.  She hadn’t got one today, but there had been another enigmatic comment, which convinced her that she was right – that he did think she was gay.  Blaine had noticed that one too and had given Nick a strange look.  Yes, she had to talk to him about this before anyone else found out.   It would make Nick look foolish.

Melody had had an opportunity to talk to Toby.  It was hard to say how that had gone.  She asked how Nick’s interviews went – he’d done two more today before the show – and Toby said fine.  Melody told the P.A. that she thought he was really helping Nick be prepared for them.  Toby gave her a curt ‘that’s my job’, but Melody thought he was pleased.

The show had been wonderful…except for the, no, she wasn’t going to go there…the show had been wonderful, period!  Nick was still experimenting with how he was going to introduce the band.  He had so far called her the Lady with the Guitar, the First Lady of the Guitar and the Guitar Lady.  He had blushed over that one. 

Nick had also stumbled a couple of times over Tofu, not really sure whether to call him Chris or Tofu or what.  Tonight he had settled on Senor Christofol Sandoval.  After the show, Tofu told him that his middle names were Enrique Jesus, if he wanted to add them too.  Nick rolled it around his mouth…Senor Christofol Enrique Jesus Sandoval.  Nah, maybe not!

They laughed.  They always laughed.  It was great.  Now that Rafe was on the other side of the world and the whole thing was about making music, they were all having a great time.  Nick was becoming more confident with each interview and performance.  Melody was starting to get the hang of the whole touring thing.  And she was getting her laundry done!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The train bumped along the rails.  It was noisy and wobbly.  It was hard to have a conversation, and it was hard to walk down the aisle.  But Melody loved it.  The rest of them watched her acting like a kid.  Not all of them had ever been on a train either, but they weren’t admitting it.  They had a couple of rooms, and they moved back and forth between them.  Melody bounced up and down the train, checking out the snack car, the washrooms, everywhere she could get to.  There was a hallway down one side of the train where she could stand and look out the window.  And when she wasn’t moving around, she stood there and watched the English countryside roll by.

That’s where Melody finally got up the courage to talk to Nick.  They were in the hallway together, and no one else was there.  They stood side by side looking out the window, commenting on the scenery.  When she didn’t have to look at him, Melody found it easier to talk to him.

“Look at those fields.  Isn’t it interesting how they don’t have fences like we do?”  Melody asked.

“Yes, those are stone and hedges.  Those are very permanent fences.  They look like they’ve been there for hundreds of years,” replied Nick.

Melody pointed at a small village as they passed it.  “They sure love roses in this country, don’t they?  They’re in front of every single house.”

Nick nodded.  “Yeah, and do you notice how the gardens are all in the front of the house?” 

“Who told you I was gay?”

“That was…”  Nick halted just in time.  “Um…why?”

“I just wondered.  Someone told you, right?  You didn’t figure it out for yourself?”

“Um…no…but it doesn’t matter…I mean, it’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with it…I mean, of course, there’s nothing wrong with it…I mean…I don’t have a problem with it…but I don’t know if I should tell you who…we’re weren’t like gossiping or anything…” 

“Okay.”

Nick turned to walk away.

Melody’s voice stopped him.  “There’s just one thing.”

“Yes?”

Now she turned from the window and looked him straight in the eye.  “I’m not gay.”

Nick blinked.  “What?”

Melody grinned at him and repeated it.  “I’m not gay.”

“Well, then why would Rafe say…?”  Aw crap!

“Rafe?”  Melody was astounded.  “It was Rafe?” 

Nick’s brain was reeling.  He tried to take it all in.  Melody Jones wasn’t gay.  He put his hands to his head trying to stop the whirling mass of thoughts.  “But you said you wanted a wife?”

“Who wouldn’t?  I meant for housecleaning and laundry, like a maid.  I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah, I get it.  But you said…”

“Are you trying to talk me into being gay, Nick?  Because I’m not.”

“No, no, I don’t want you to be gay.   I mean, if you are, that’s okay, I don’t have a problem with it.”

Melody reached up and grabbed his jaw in her small hand.  “Focus, Nick!  I’m…not…gay!”  She said it very distinctly.  “I like sex with men!” 

Gus was halfway out the compartment door when he heard that statement.  He beat a hasty retreat back inside, informing the others that Nick and Melody were having a bit of a discussion in the hall and maybe they should all just stay put until it was over.  No one asked.  Each of them had his own ideas about what Nick and Melody might be discussing.  Many of them thought it might involve a guitar.  A couple of them thought it might involve sex.  None of them thought it involved her being gay.

Nick finally managed to do the paradigm shift and focus on the real issue.  Why had Rafe lied to him?  “Why would he lie?”

Melody shrugged.  “Who knows why Rafe does anything?”

Nick nodded.  “Yeah, but he usually has a reason.  No, not usually.  He always has a reason.”

Melody shrugged again.

“Well, I’ll bloody well ask him,” said Nick.  “Right before I tear his head off.”

Melody laughed and then sobered.  “No.”

“No…don’t tear his head off?”

“No.  I mean, no don’t ask him.  Don’t mention it to him at all.”

“Why not?  He’s an asshole for doing something like that.  Telling me that.”

“Yes, but Nick, think about it.  He doesn’t know we know.”

Nick thought about that.  He wasn’t sure how he could use that to his advantage.  But knowing something Rafe didn’t know had to be a good thing.

“So I have to keep pretending I think you’re gay?”  Duplicity was not Nick’s strong suit.

“Only around Rafe, please!  Otherwise, you can dispense with the ‘it all depends on your definition of a virgin’ comments.”

Nick blushed to the roots of his hair.  “I’m sorry.  I…I…  And um…Tom too.”

“What?  Tom said that?”

“Well, he just kind of backed Rafe up when Rafe said it.  I’m really sorry about this, Mel.  How can I make it up to you?”

She almost said, sleep with me.  She would only have been joking, and she thought Nick would take it that way, but she wasn’t completely sure, so she didn’t say it. 

“Forget about it,” she said instead.  “Just wipe it out of your mind.  I only wanted to clear the air.  I didn’t want any lies or misunderstandings between us.”

Nick nodded.  “Because it would get in the way of the music.”

“That’s right.  Nothing should get in the way of the music.” 

The other compartment door opened, and Rashad emerged.  He headed up the hall to the bathroom.  Nick and Melody quietly went in opposite directions.  Melody had gotten a lot off her mind.  And Nick had just had a lot put on his.  He had some thinking to do.