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“So?”  Mart wanted details.

“So…nothing.”  Melody was talking to her at a rest stop.  The trip from Seattle to San Francisco was fifteen hours, including stops for gas.  They were eleven hours into it.

Mart was willing to take it step by step.  “So you went to the wedding…?” 

“Yeah, it was okay.  I got a little sick of his family telling me how nice it was to see me again, and they wished it could be more often, complete with the sighing and nodding and…”

“I guess you broke more than one heart when you dumped him,” said Mart.  She had never met Jason Simons, but Mart had thought at the time that he was a very controlling individual, and she had been happy when Melody had got away from him.  Mart had more sense than to express it, of course.  It would have been the fastest way to push her friend into his arms.

“Oh, ha, ha!  You know I always got along well with his parents.”

“And his dog,” interjected Mart.

“Yeah, Grover,” said Melody wistfully.  “Grover is a very cool dog.”

“But not cool enough for you to overcome your…reluctance to be with Jason, right?”  Mart worried aloud.

“No,” admitted Melody.  “Not enough for that.  We’re not good for each other.  It’s too intense.  He wants to…”  She paused, searching for the right word.

“Own you?” suggested Mart.

“No, that’s not the word,” replied Melody.  “That implies a conscious desire…wanting to possess…I don’t think that’s it.  It’s more…”

Mart waited.  She knew that a woman who had done as many crossword puzzles as Melody would come up with the word eventually.

“…he wants to absorb me.  That’s it, I think.  Yeah…absorb…pull me into his world and…”

“Okay, but you’re non-absorbent, or whatever…?”  Mart laughed.

“Yeah, I’d make a lousy paper towel.”  Melody laughed along with her friend.  Then she got serious again.  “I tried.  I really looked at it, and I thought…you know…maybe…and I tried…”

“But…”  Mart knew that the word ‘Nick’ was about to appear in the conversation.  She wondered if Melody knew.

“I couldn’t.  It would have been so unfair.  I like him, Mart…probably I still love him a little…and I couldn’t hurt him like that…leading him on…making him think that there might be a chance… when really…”

Mart waited.

“…oh, it looks like we’re getting back on the bus…I have to go…”

“Oh no, you don’t, Melody Jones.  Not until you say it!  Don’t forget who you’re talking to!  Say it! There was no chance for Jason Simons, because really…”

It was barely a whisper.  “…Nick.”

“Yeah,” whispered Mart.  “Nick.  So what’s happening there?”

“I don’t know,” said Melody in a tone that made Mart wish she was there beside her friend so she could wrap her in a hug.  “He…uh…he goes to these things…these parties…and there’s always a girl…a date…some long-legged thing…  I don’t think he’s…I mean, I don’t know…I told him to, but…”

She got quiet.  Mart waited.  Then finally, she said, “Mel?”

“I don’t know.  He’s different this morning.  First of all, he looks like shit.  His eyes are all red and puffy.  But that shouldn’t be from drinking.  I mean, he was on the bus before I was, and that was…like way before midnight.”

“Maybe he cried himself to sleep over you…”

“Yeah, right.  Get a grip, Girl!  No, I think maybe he…succumbed…found someone…he won’t look at me…he only came out of his room twice…just to go to the bathroom and grab some coffee…”

“Maybe he won’t look at you because he thinks you were with Jason…” suggested Mart.

“Okay, you know what…I really don’t care.  This whole thing is just wearing me down.”  Both Melody and Mart could feel her backbone stiffening as she spoke.  “Nick and I aren’t right for each other either.  We could never be together anyway, considering the circumstances.  So yeah, I hope he did do it last night.  I hope he does it every night.”

“Mel?”

“Aw shit, Mart!  They’re calling me to the bus.  I’ll let you know what happens in San Francisco.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

San Francisco.  City of cable cars and the Golden Gate Bridge.  Land of Rice-a-Roni and Alcatraz. 

Nick insisted that they be dropped at the hotel first.  He wanted a shower.  He wanted to get the smell of Jennifer Whozit off his skin.  He wanted strong coffee and a big meal of bacon and eggs and toast and potatoes.  He didn’t care that it was after three o’clock in the afternoon.  That’s what he wanted…and he was the star…so dammit, Toby, get on it.

“Yes, Sir,” said Toby, in a surprised voice.  Jeez, what was up with Nick today? 

Nick had stayed in his room on the bus the entire time, not even getting out at rest stops.  Two quick trips to the bathroom reassured them all that he was at least alive.  Jeff checked on him once to find him cranky. 

“Go away,” growled Nick and then, “No…wait…bring me my guitar…”  For the rest of the journey, they listened to smatterings of music…a line here…a few notes there. 

Toby watched Mel.  Every so often, she would turn her head toward the back and listen intently to the music.  Sometimes she would smile to herself and give a little nod of satisfaction, and sometimes a sour grimace would skate across her face.  She caught Toby looking at her once and she smiled. 

“It’s going to be good,” she said. 

Toby figured if anyone knew about that, it would be her.

Toby tried to sort out his feelings about Mel.  Gus gave him shit regularly about his treatment of her.  Gus was becoming more and more outspoken as the days went on.  After their contretemps in Chicago, Toby had become completely passive in the bedroom…and he discovered that he loved it!  It was nice to be “off-duty” for awhile, to let someone else make the decisions…to just give and receive and be held at the end of it…  Of course, outside the bedroom, Toby was still the master.  He just had to find a way to get that across to Gus!!

Gus said that Toby was jealous of Mel, that he was afraid she and Nick were going to get together.  Toby insisted that Nick’s love life was none of anyone’s business, and Toby hadn’t given it a second thought.  But really…Mel?  Did Gus really think so?  I mean, she’s so much older than he is…and what about Rafe? Or Jason Simons?

Gus didn’t bother to tell Toby that it had already happened.  And that given any kind of luck or divine intervention, it was going to happen again. 

“There was never anything between her and Rafe,” insisted Gus, “and don’t bother waving those pictures at me again.  Look at all the pictures of Nick with those girls at the parties.  It’s the same thing. They’re smiling and having a good time.  It doesn’t mean they’re hot for each other.  Although…” Gus laughed, “…they sure look hot for Nick, don’t they?  But that doesn’t mean he did it with them.”

Well, he did it with one of them, thought Toby.  He was the guy who picked up Nick’s laundry, and when he had gathered Nick’s clothes from the night before, they had a woman’s smell all over them.  There was no way that got there from just schmoozing at a party. 

And Mel?  She hadn’t.  Toby knew that.  Not with Jason.  She had said goodbye to him with a kiss.  Toby happened to be glancing out the window at that moment…and then she had hopped on the bus and started talking about the wedding and stuff.  Her clothes weren’t at all disheveled, and she didn’t have that ‘satisfied’ look.  She was more like a teenager telling her friends about her first date.

She was a good storyteller, Toby admitted.  He and Jeff had laughed a lot, in very quiet voices.  No one wanted to disturb Nick.  Melody had grimaced and said she should keep her voice down.  Jeff said not to bother.  Nick had had a few drinks and would probably be sound asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on the door.  Room service had arrived.  Toby laid out the table and then knocked on the bathroom door.  “The food’s here, Nick.”

“Okay, good, thanks…I’ll see you later,” called Nick. 

Toby figured he’d been dismissed and quietly left the room.

Nick came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him.  He went through the bedroom into the living room area of the suite.  He wandered over to the table and lifted the silver covers off the plates.  He picked up a glass of orange juice and drained it in one gulp.  Then he picked up a piece of crisp bacon in two fingers and munched on it, going back into the bedroom.  Toby had laid some clothes out on the bed.  Nick pulled them on and went back to the table. 

While he ate, Nick went through his options rationally.  The big question, he guessed, was ‘was Melody interested in him?’  He thought it over and could not decide.  The only way to find out, he concluded, was to ask her.

Now, what would be the consequences of that?  Nick was hoping she’d fall into his arms and stay there forever.  But he had to consider the possibility that she would say, thanks but no thanks, Ottawa was a lovely experience, but c’mon Kid…  Nick didn’t figure she’d get so pissed that she’d quit the tour, but he had to take that into account.  Maybe he’d better not show his hand…not let on how he felt until he knew how she did.

And what were the consequences of not asking her? 

Not knowing.  That was the consequence. 

And he couldn’t live with that any more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nick wants to see you, Mel,” said Jeff.  “In his dressing room.”

Melody looked at Jeff and raised her eyebrows.  “Why?”

Jeff smiled.  “You’re not in any trouble, unless you’ve been getting up to mischief I don’t know about.  He’s got his electric guitar out…I think he has a question.”

Melody nodded and headed for the dressing room.  Jeff watched her go.  He hoped Nick had a question.  He hoped he had a damn good one.

Melody knocked on the door.  She heard, “Come in” and pushed the door open.  She looked around to make sure there was no one else in the room, no Gus sitting with his head down, for example.  There wasn’t anyone…only Nick.

“Hey, Mel,” he said.  “Show me that thing again…the one…” 

Talk about the music.  That was how he had decided to begin.

Melody walked over to him.  Nick did some things with the guitar and Melody made suggestions… moving her hands over his once. 

“Thanks…that’s great…think I’ll be able to play a song in the show soon?”

“Oh yeah,” said Mel, with a smile.  “Real soon.”

“I wonder which one I should play…” mused Nick. 

“A new one…I mean, a different one…not one that’s in the show…”

“Really?  Which one?  Have you thought about it?” 

Melody grinned.  “Yeah, I got a couple of suggestions…”

Nick set the guitar aside.  “Well, I can hardly wait.  I know I’ll be able to trust your judgment.  So, how was the wedding?” 

Okay, Nick, that might have been a little abrupt…a little too obvious change of subject.

Melody shrugged.  “It was a wedding…The bride was beautiful, the groom was nervous.  The bridesmaid dress looked great on the tall, thin girl and hideous on the rest of them…”

“Did you and Jason have a good time…after?”

Melody looked at him.  She knew exactly what Nick was asking her.  She looked him straight in the eye.  “We went out to dinner, drove around, talked…  He asked…I declined.  I didn’t…”  Her voice tapered off.

Nick’s voice was a whisper.  “I did.” 

Melody turned her back and started fiddling with the guitar.  She knew what he was saying; she knew it was the way it was supposed to be; she could live with it…but she could not look at him while he said it.

Nick blundered on.  “I thought…you know…like you said…to get you out of my head…”

Melody nodded, saying nothing.  Yes, she understood.

And then his hands were on her shoulders, and his lips were at her ear.  “It didn’t work.”

Melody tried unsuccessfully to suppress the whimper of relief.

And then she was in his arms, and Nick was holding her head against his chest, swaying back and forth and whispering her name over and over again.

And she wanted to stay that way forever.  But she knew that the world wouldn’t let them.