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AJ walked through the door with Howie.  They had been doing the dance all night.  Trying to connect with Nick.  They had followed him from club to club, just missing him each time. 

They had watched the show together at AJ’s place.  The odds were that Nick wasn’t going to win, and they didn’t want to be bombarded by reporters wanting their comments on Nick’s loss.  The five men were slowly healing their wounds and working their way back together, and they didn’t want some comment taken out of context to hurt someone’s feelings and widen the rift.  So they watched the show at home and were then going to join him at La Cantina.  They didn't have any girls with them. 

AJ had had one the night before at a pre-Grammy party - one of those Playboy bunny types, all high-heel shoes and big breasts and too-small t-shirts.  He didn't want her here tonight...she had absolutely nothing of interest to say to him, and he didn't want her beside him when he wrapped his arms around Nick.

“Who’s he with?” he asked Howie, as they watched the opening montage of the red carpet with the sound off…Nick’s face flashed by briefly, but his date wasn’t visible.  

“Melody Jones.  She’s his…”

”Guitarist.  Yeah, I know,” said AJ.  Then he noticed the look on Howie’s face.  “What?”

Howie sighed.  “She’s a little more than that.”

“Really?  That’s great!”  AJ was pleased.  Nick had been looking for someone for a long time. 

“Well, it is, and it isn’t,” said Howie.  He filled AJ in on the relationship between Nick and Mel.

“That’s crap!” said AJ.  “Who gives a shit how old she is?  Leigh’s five years older than Bri.  Nobody ever made anything out of that.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Howie.  “But the timing on this…you know with Justin and Cameron Diaz…and Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore…”

“So, that just shows that everyone is doing it.  What’s the big deal?”

“Well, when you’re trying to turn Nicky into Nick…”

“Okay, the show is starting.”  AJ tapped the mute button and orchestra music filled the room.

They sat and watched the opening monologue.  At the first commercial, AJ turned to Howie.  “I see what you mean.  Rock played kinda rough there.”

They watched the rest of the show, commenting and laughing about things people did or said…or wore.  Every time the camera showed Nick, and it was a lot, they’d smile at each other and say something like “freaking first row at the Grammys…who would have thought?” or “he’s got the ol’ Nick smile working tonight”.  They didn’t comment on Rock’s ‘older woman’ jokes, but they looked at each other every time he made one.

When Nick performed, AJ was speechless.  Howie had seen Nick in concert in Florida, but AJ hadn’t been to one yet.  Howie watched AJ watch Nick. 

“Holy crap!” said AJ when the song ended.  “How can anyone look at the two of them and not know?”

“Aw, come on now,” said Howie.  “If I hadn’t told you, you would have just thought it was the music.”

“I guess,” said AJ, “but I can’t see them keeping it a secret for very long.”  He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow in thought.  “You know, that’s a great song.  You don’t suppose…”

Howie held up a finger to stop the thought.  Saying it out loud…just a bad, bad idea.  Not that either of them believed in jinxes or curses or anything like that, but still…

They never said a word when Bruce Springsteen read the nominees.  They stared at the screen and held their breath, praying hard for their friend. 

“Yeah, this is good,” said the Boss and then, “Nick Carter.”

Just like Nick, neither of them moved, afraid that they hadn’t heard right.  Then the camera panned in on a stunned Nick, and they leapt to their feet hugging each other and jumping.  “He did it!  He did it!”  Then they broke apart, and still standing, turned back to the television.  Nick was walking across the stage.

“I hope he doesn’t faint,” said Howie.  They watched Nick take the award from Springsteen and then turn to the microphone.

“Like a deer in the headlights,” muttered AJ.

“Um…um…man, this is a surprise!  I…uh…”

“Come on, Nicky,” whispered Howie, under his breath.  “You can do it.”

“I guess I should…there’s so many people…um…there’s way too many people…”

Howie and AJ looked at each other and grimaced. 

“…so I’m just going to thank some people who got me here.  They’re the only four people who are still allowed to call me Nicky…Howie, Kevin, Brian, AJ…thanks, fellas!”

Howie and AJ stared at the screen as Nick waved the award in the air and then left the stage.  Then they turned to each other.  They were speechless, overcome with emotion.  Finally, AJ cleared his throat. 

“Well, how about that?” he said.

“How about that!” answered Howie.

The two men took their seats and sat in silence for a few minutes.  How about that!  They turned their attention back to the television at the end. 

This time, they were ready.  This time, it was possible.  They leaned forward in their seats as Norah Jones read the nominations. 

Then, “Alias Me”.

“Yes!!”  They leapt to their feet again. 

“Yes!! Yes!! YES!!”  AJ yelled it over and over, punching his fist in the air.

They looked back at Nick, who was stunned by the ovation.  “It’s too much…it’s too much.”

“He’ll cry for sure this time,” said AJ. 

Howie nodded.  He’d been surprised that Nick hadn’t cried the first time.  They listened to Nick’s speech, glancing at each other when he said, ‘my…our lady’.

“C’mon, let’s go find him,” said AJ, grabbing his jacket and clicking the TV off.

“He won’t be at La Cantina until really late now,” said Howie.  “He’ll have to do all the media stuff.”

AJ punched buttons on his phone.  He talked for a minute.  “Give me a paper and pen,” he said to Howie.  He wrote down some names.  “Okay, thanks Meg!”  He disconnected.  “Okay, I’ve got the list.  Here’s all the big parties where the big media will be.  Those are the ones he’ll hit.  Let’s go find him.”

“Okay,” said Howie, thinking AJ was like a kid at Christmas.  “But I’m driving.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick wanted to put his head down on the table and go to sleep.  The adrenaline surges of the evening had left him drained and exhausted.  His stomach was upset.  Nerves had stopped him from eating early in the day, and then the frenzied media scrums at the various parties had stopped him there.  At La Cantina, he finally got to eat, but he consumed too much spicy food too fast and it sat in his stomach, roiling and churning.  He tried to put out the fire with beer.  He drank three quick Coronas, and they didn’t calm his stomach.  They went right to his head instead.  He yawned.

“What’s the matter? Can’t party like you used to?” 

At this moment in his life, there was no one that AJ was more jealous of than Nick.  Nick had done what AJ wanted to do.  A solo album.  Hell!  He'd done two of them!  And now he'd won a Grammy!  Two Grammys!  And AJ hadn't done squat.  He'd made lots of noise about marriage and sobriety and music...but he hadn't done anything.  And here he was...standing in front of the guy who had done it...who had stepped up and made it real.  And all AJ could think was how much he loved him.

Nick looked up.  “AJ!”  His eyes filled with tears.  “AJ!”  He stood up from the table.

“I understand I can still call you Nicky,” said AJ. 

Nick nodded. 

AJ opened his arms.  “Well, Nicky…good job!” 

Nick threw his arms around his friend.  "AJ...AJ..."  It was all he could say, but he couldn't seem to stop saying it.  Then he noticed the guy behind AJ.  The one who had brought him.  He reached out and grabbed Howie into the hug.  The three men stood there.  Nick started shaking, and then they could feel the sobs wracking him.  They held him until he got himself under control. 

Nick stepped back finally, swiping at his eyes.  “Guess you knew that had to come out,” he said.

Howie and AJ wiped their own tears away.  “Yeah, we did.  We were surprised you didn’t do it onstage.”

Nick laughed.  “Yeah, me too.  Except that it was all such a shock…it all happened so fast…it was like it wasn’t real…I never even thought about crying…I just…did I say something stupid?”

AJ and Howie shook their heads.  “No, Bro,” said AJ, “nothing stupid at all.  Did you hear from Kev or Brian?”

“Yeah, they watched the show together in Atlanta.  They called me.”  Nick laughed.  “Kev tried to act like he didn’t know what was going on…asked me if I was doing anything special tonight…”

Howie laughed.  “Good ol’ Kev.  What did Brian have to say?”

Nick’s eyes filled again.  “Ah, you know, the usual…”

“The usual crap you say to a brother when he wins a Grammy?” asked AJ, with a smile.

“Yeah,” said Nick, “like that.”

“Well, we are so proud of you,” said Howie.  The moment threatened to become emotional and overwhelm them all, so Howie changed the subject.  “Where’s Mel?” 

“Yes, I’d like to meet her,” said AJ.  Nick looked from AJ to Howie and back again.  “It’s cool,” said AJ.
Nick looked around for her.  Mel was standing by the bar with Tofu watching the scene unfold.  She smiled at him.  Nick motioned with his head.  Come here.

“I’d like you to meet a couple of my brothers,” said Nick, as she approached him.  “This is Howie Dorough.  And AJ McLean…or Alex…what the hell are you calling yourself these days, anyway?”

“AJ will do,” smiled AJ, shaking Mel’s hand.  He turned to Nick.  “Look who’s talking, Mr. ‘Don’t Call Me Nicky’.”

“Mel named the album,” said Nick shyly.  “It was her idea.”  He rested a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. 

Mel smiled at him and then moved away from his grasp.  “Yeah well, it was either that or Spoiled
Brat,” she said.

AJ laughed.  “That would have worked too.  Would you care to dance?”

Mel nodded, and they moved out on the dance floor.

“What did you tell him?” asked Nick, as he and Howie sat down at the table.  Blaine and Cathy had headed for the dance floor at the beginning of the reunion and hadn’t returned.

“Just what you told me,” said Howie.  “He thinks it’s great.”

“What did he think about…you know…not telling?”

“You know AJ.  He said he wouldn’t give a crap what people said.”

“Yeah, right,” said Nick.  “Like any of us believe that!”

“Watching the show, though…you know, with Chris Rock and all those comments…”

Nick nodded.  Yeah, what about that?  Had he been wrong?  Had he read too much into it?

Howie continued.  “I think he can kinda see where you’re coming from now.”

“Yeah,” said Nick.  “Yeah, okay.”  It made him feel slightly better, but not much.

On the dance floor, AJ put his arms around Mel and moved her around.

“Boy, you’re a great dancer,” said Mel.

“Well, I’ve had some practice,” said AJ.  They laughed.  “So,” he began.  “So…you and Nick…”

Mel tipped her head back and looked into his eyes.

“It’s okay,” said AJ.  “It’s cool.  I’ll never tell.  I just want to say that I’m happy for you…for both of you.  But I don’t understand…”

Nick and Howie watched them dance together.

“I wonder what they’re talking about,” said Nick.

“Probably you,” said Howie.

The dance ended, and Mel went back to the bar.  AJ made his way to the table.

“What did she say to you?” asked Nick.

AJ grimaced.  “She said that she loves you enough that she would leave you, if she thought it was for your own good.”

The three men sat in silence for a moment.

“So I guess the question is…”  AJ sighed, “…how much do you love her?”

Nick thought about it.  “I guess I love her enough that I’ll do anything to keep that from happening.”

More silence, as they digested the thought.

Then AJ spoke again.  “So…a Grammy?”

“Two,” said Nick, smiling and holding up two fingers.  “Two Grammys.”

“Aw crap, there’ll be no living with you now,” said AJ, laughing.  Howie shook his head at them.

Mel watched the three men laughing together.

“That’s a nice sight,” said Tofu, coming up to her. 

“Yeah,” Mel nodded.  “It’s all good.”  Even though she had to watch it from the other side of the room, it was still all good.