Nick shut the door softly behind him, pausing for a moment as he leaned heavily against the wall beside the door. He knew he could watch his little girl forever and she would never look more innocent or more beautiful to him than when she slept. In fact, he truly believed that she could grow to be a 16-year-old wild child, dating crazy boys and getting into all sorts of trouble, and despite all that she would still look just as innocent when she slept as the day she came into their lives.
He also knew that years from now he would still take the time to give her a kiss goodnight, to tell her he loved her and then, he would pause in her doorway after she'd drifted off into her dreams and watch her sleep for a few peaceful moments. And he promised himself that he would be just as eternally grateful for her years from now as he was today.
It was difficult to believe there had actually been a time when Nick had worried he would be unable to truly love an adopted child as much as he might love a biological one. Now though, looking back, it seemed foolish to think those thoughts had even crossed his mind. Now he couldn't imagine loving any child more, or even as much as he loved Mia. Granted he didn't have another child to compare the love, biological or otherwise, but he was certain his heart was made for this girl alone, and he was amazed every single day how infinitely his heart expanded to fill with more love for his daughter with each passing moment.
He turned from the doorway, knowing that in a few short hours he would return to cuddle in beside his sleeping princess for the night, where he would spend the next however many hours being beaten and battered by her tiny two-year-old limbs. He would only just get comfortable before she would roll into him, sticking her toes between his ribs or her elbows into his eye sockets. Somehow her fingers always found their way into the depths of his ears or his nostrils, and more often than not she would eventually wind up completely on top of him, a sweaty mess of drool and hair. And he loved every single minute of it.
It's funny how you can love someone so much that all of their annoying little habits don't even bother you anymore. Funny that you can love someone so much that they can drool on you, or wipe their snot on you, or God forbid, even puke on you, and you just don't care because love overshadows it all.
Nick sighed as he walked past the doorway to the room where Gracie was sleeping. He remembered how their love was like that once upon a time, not so very long ago. She had loved to torture him with her icy cold feet in the middle of the night, always finding his most sensitive spots and curling her toes right into them, just waiting for him to squeal and fly out of bed. But he wouldn't. He'd roll over instead and pull her closer to him, wrapping her feet between his legs to keep them warm. They used to lay like that all night long, Nick trying to sleep while Grace snored and snorted and talked in her sleep... but Nick didn't care. He would lie awake sometimes and watch her sleep, just like he did with Mia, especially on those long nights when she'd been so sick he worried what might happen if he took his eyes away for a minute. She was always most beautiful to him when she slept. Always so peaceful and carefree... happier... healthier.
And all those months of treatments that caused her to lose her hair, and sweat profusely and vomit more than anyone he'd ever met... even a few times on him... it never bothered him too much, because the love he felt for her and the need to care for her overshadowed it all. He found within himself the strength to love immensely even in the darkest moments.
Nick stopped short of the stairway, turning around quickly and heading back towards Grace's door. He cracked it open and peeked inside, taking in the sight of her figure curled up in a heap on the bed, blankets piled on top of her, her long blond hair hanging carelessly over the side of the bed and her toes stuck carelessly from beneath the blankets. He thought of all the nights in this very house when the two of them had laid together in that bed, beneath those blankets and talked for hours, about their lives... their futures. He couldn't believe they were on the verge of throwing it all away. It felt like some horrible nightmare you can't wake up from... like standing on the edge of a mountain prepared to jump off the side without a parachute.
He stood in the doorway for a few more moments before shutting the door once more. He wiped the falling tears from his eyes and turned quickly away, walking down the stairs and out of the house to the beach. Tonight was a good night for a walk and it was a good thing because Nick needed to get away for a little while from it all.
