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Brian could see it happening. But he couldn’t hear it. He could see it, and smell it and feel it. But he couldn’t hear it.

He saw the gun explode. He could smell the gunpowder as it was released from the cartridge. He felt the bullet hit AJ’s skull. He saw as AJ’s eyes rolled back in his head. And he felt the blood spatter around the room. Onto him, the walls, Kevin and the doctor. And he felt AJ’s lifeless body hit the ground. But he didn’t hear it. Not any of it. His world became a silent movie with those simple words.

“I love you guys.”

And he heard no more. He only saw it, and smelt it, and felt it. But he never heard it.

~~~

“NO!” Kevin screamed, lunging forward at AJ, knocking the gun from his hand. It fell to the floor, firing into the far wall. Kevin ignored the shots and grabbed AJ’s wrists firmly in his hands. “What the fuck are you doing?” He screamed in AJ’s face, as the tattooed singer fought to be released. “What huh? Just tell me. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Get off me!” AJ screamed in Kevin’s face. Ignoring the older mans shouts. “Get off me!”

“Don’t you ever pull a stunt like that again. Ever!” Kevin continued to scream. “Not one of us is going to die today. You hear me? Not today, or tomorrow. Not ever. You hear me?” He asked, shaking AJ. “You hear me Alex? You understand?” He shook his younger brother. AJ didn’t reply, he was weakly attempting to get Kevin off of him. “Alex.” Kevin said firmly. “Look at me dammit.” He said, pulling AJ up by his wrists as he began to let his knees give way. AJ looked up at Kevin’s gaze. “Do you understand?” Kevin asked. “Do you understand?”

“Yes.” AJ said barely above a whisper, nodding his head. “Yes.”

Kevin’s face softened. “Good.” He pulled AJ into a hug, supporting nearly his whole weight. “We’re gonna be okay. You got that? We’re gonna be fine.”

AJ nodded, burying his head in Kevin’s shoulders as tears started to fall.

“We’re gonna be fine.”

~~~

Brian turned to look at AJ and Kevin. Kevin was silently reassuring AJ. Promising him everything would be fine. That they would be okay. Brian looked back at the gun, and rubbed his face with his hands. He didn’t hear it, because it didn’t happen.

~~~

“Bri.” Kevin said, looking at his cousin as he pulled away from AJ, though one arm still supporting him. “Yo, Brian.”

Brian slowly turned his attention away from the gun and to his cousin. “Yeah?” He said, his voice hoarse. He cleared his throat. “Yeah?” He repeated.

“Let’s get back to Nicky.” Kevin told him, his brow furrowed as he studied Brian’s face.

Brian stared blankly at him for a minute before nodding. “Yeah.”

Kevin motioned for him to lead the way, and watched him suspiciously as he did. He did a slight double take when he noticed that all the people but two of the security guards had gone. He turned to the doctor.

“Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Was all the doctor said.

Kevin nodded and followed Brian down the hall towards Nick’s room.

~~~

Howie looked up and saw the three of them walking towards him. If he had had the will power or energy he would have run to meet them. But he didn’t. He didn’t have anything anymore.

Brian eyed his friend suspiciously as he approached but said nothing once he reached him. Kevin and AJ joined them a moment later. Kevin stepped away from AJ, leaning him onto Brian who didn’t really seem to notice.

“What is it Howie?” Kevin asked worriedly, taking in the singers pale features.

Howie swallowed and blinked back the tears in his eyes as they searched the ceiling for answers, opening his mouth to speak before shutting it again.

“Howie? D’, what is it man?”

Howie’s eyes flicked to Kevin’s. “He’s gone Kev. He’s gone. He was there and then… it just stopped. He flatlined.” He paused and took a deep breath, swallowing the sob rising in his throat. “Nicky’s dead.”