“I love you…”
Every time I thought of those words, my heart stopped. I had to sit on the ground to collect myself, and then I had to hold myself together.
I would never hear them again.
I would never feel my heart convulsing as I returned them. My heart was now a dead weight.
I would never laugh over a movie I’d seen hundreds of times ever again. Laughter sounded like a funerary bell.
Even the sound of my own name is hollow now. And I thought that I would never hear it again.
My weak, shaking hands would never hold anything again. Never rest lightly on his neck… Never clasp her hands in expectation… Never touch my father’s cheek or my mother’s stomach… Never hold my little sister on the day she was born…
My weak, shaking hands could only hold together my own weak, shaking body… and they weren’t even very good at that…
Remembering that… remembering the “I love yous” of the people I love snapped me into pieces…
And that was when I remembered that I was all alone… trying to heal my wounds with my own feeble strength… and failing.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
10:30 a.m.
Kayleigh’s eyes flickered open lightly. A pale, eerie blue light flooded the room. She raised her head lightly to stare at the television, only to see the DVD screensaver. She shook her head with a laugh and nestled back into the bed.
She jumped up suddenly. Brushing her hands through her hair, her fingers caught on dried chunks. She took in a quick gasp, and that was when she noticed the utter stillness of the room. Her gasp and her heartbeat were the only things she heard.
She shook her head quickly and placed her hand on it to stop the onslaught of disorientation she was feeling.
“Saturday morning…” her voiced quivered. “Sammy would probably still be at Ricky’s from last night… She’d come home later in one of his big sweatshirts with her hair all bunched up and her eyes rimmed with black… and I would laugh and say, ‘Sammy… You look like a raccoon…’” A tiny, forced laugh escaped her lips. Kayleigh cringed at the strange sound before taking a deep breath.
“And Sammy would smile and say, ‘Ricky always did have a soft spot for raccoons. And anyway, someday you’ll come home and see me after letting Brad see you like this.’ And I would blush and cringe a little at the thought… just like almost every Saturday morning…”
Tears began to stream down Kayleigh’s face. “I should call Brad… I’ll bet he’s hurting…” She put her hand to her chest. The stillness of the room was betraying her confidence. “I’ll see if Sammy wants Starbucks before I head over. I bet she’s on the mend from her twenty-four hour bug, and she’ll want banana bread.” Kayleigh began to smile to herself.
She pulled herself from the bed lightly and noted her clothing. Jeans… and the recruitment shirt she’d worn yesterday… Kayleigh frowned briefly before her eyes locked on the purple bedding. Her heart stopped once more.
Sammy’s bed…
Kayleigh put her hand to her face while she tried to remember and tried to forget yesterday’s events. Her head was spinning as she came to the realization that she had fallen asleep in Samantha’s bed… because Samantha wasn’t there?
Kayleigh shook her head. “No, because Sammy needed me here…” She ran her hand through the chunks in her hair once more before forcing herself to turn around.
She had spent the night curled up with Samantha. The bed was covered in the same chunks as Kayleigh’s hair. There were also a few spots of residue similar to dried hair mousse nearest to Samantha’s mouth.
Kayleigh clapped her hand to her face and began running through the signs of alcohol poisoning on default.
Pale skin. The skin was more than pale; it was almost listless… not to mention being covered in purple sores the color of the bed spread…
Passing out. She didn’t seem to be awake… She could simply be asleep…
Vomiting. Kayleigh attempted to run her fingers through the chunks in her hair again.
Seizures. Kayleigh stared at the residue on Samantha’s pillow and shook the memory from her mind.
Irregular breathing. Tears began to stream down Kayleigh’s face once more. It was more than irregular… It was almost non-existent…
Kayleigh dried her tears, but they kept streaming down her face. “Detox… I’ve got to get Sammy to Detox…” Kayleigh stood and caught her hand on the edge of the bed before she fell to the ground. She supported herself as she tottered toward her desk, where her phone lay. She pulled it up and stared absently at the screen. “Sixteen missed calls…” Her voice was so low it barely interrupted the silence in the room.
She started to examine her missed calls, but stopped short when her phone began ringing. She picked it up hurriedly. “Brad!”
“Kayleigh…”
His voice was weak, but it really was his voice. A burst of relief washed over Kayleigh. Her tears kept streaming down her cheeks. It was a bittersweet mixture of fear, grief, worry, relief, and hope.
“You sound upset…”
One of Kayleigh’s breaths lodged in her throat. “Sammy needs to go to Detox…” she choked out quickly.
“Kayleigh…” He stopped momentarily.
“Brad?”
“You’re trying to distract yourself with a plausible lie. Samantha is sick… remember?”
“Brad…” Kayleigh stopped short. “Are you crying?”
“My Little Bro…” Brad started. It was hard not to notice that he was choking back tears, making his irregular breathing even more strained.
“Brad…”
“He tried to call the paramedics for both of us. No one answered. He stayed with me all night… even when he caught it too… and this morning…”
Kayleigh started sobbing. “Derek… not Derek too…” She hiccupped. “Sammy…”
“Get out of that house, Kayleigh. Call the paramedics, pray they answer, and then get out…”
“Where?”
“Come to me…”
“But if I catch it too… What if I already have it, Brad?”
“We’ll wait for the paramedics together…”
“Brad…”
“I don’t want to be alone…”
Kayleigh’s voice broke at that last request. “Okay… I’m coming…”
Kayleigh ran down the hall of the silent mansion. The only sound was her erratic breathing and the sounds of her keypad as she searched her recent call list. She focused her attention toward the stairs as she passed a few sisters slumped in the hallway. Their skin resembled Samantha’s all too well. Right down to the purple sores and the lifeless skin tinted with chunks of vomit and spittle.
She shook the image out of her head and pushed herself down the stairs and out the door. As she was running down Greek Park Drive, she stared idly at the cars stopped in the middle of the road. Zack had been right yesterday; Orlando really was a ghost town.
Her phone finally connected. “You’ve reached the Jackson family – better known as Andrew, Kim, Kayleigh, and Chris. Leave a message with your name, number, and the family member you want to speak to. We’ll get back to you soon.” There was a short beep.
“Daddy! I’m sure you’re asleep, but I wanted to let you know that I’m okay. There’s the thing going around Orlando that I’m sure you’ve heard about, but don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll call you later… Tell Mama and Chris ‘hi’ for me. I love you all so much.”
Kayleigh pulled her phone from her ear as she reached the Kappa Sigma house. The door was oddly ajar. She took in a breath as she pushed the door open and headed toward the stairs at the front. “Brad!”
She kept walking up the stairs. The mansion was also oddly quiet. “Brad!” She reached the top of the second flight of stairs and saw a brother leaning against the railing. His face covered with the same purple sores.
Kayleigh let out a small shriek and ran up to the third floor. “Brad!”
“Kayleigh…”
It was weak, but the voice was there. His voice was really there!
Tears were streaming down her face as she turned to the open door.
A small gasp escaped her lips as she saw Derek’s body crumpled in the corner. Dried blood matted his hair. A small smear of blood was spread on the wall.
“Come here…” Brad’s voice was notably weaker than it had been on the phone.
Kayleigh tiptoed toward the bed. All of her strength was fading quickly. She collapsed on the floor.
Brad ran his fingers over her head. “Kayleigh…”
“Your hand is wet…”
“I slammed it into the bed frame while I was sleeping… before I called you…”
Kayleigh took his wrist into her hand and ran a fallen cold compress over it. “It’s okay… I’ll take care of you now. I’m here… so let’s stay together until this passes.”
Brad gave her a small nod. “I’m so sorry…”
“You can’t help being sick. It isn’t your fault.” The blood was beginning to clot with the pressure from Kayleigh’s hands.
He closed his eyes lightly. “Kayleigh… I love you… always.”
A small smile spread across Kayleigh’s lips. “I…”
His hand started rattling within her grasp. Kayleigh looked up to see Brad’s torso thumping against his bed.
“Brad!”
Spittle began forming from within his mouth. A gagging sound emerged from his throat.
“Brad! Should I do CPR? CPR? I’ll call the paramedics!”
Kayleigh put her hands to his chest to start compressions, but his convulsing body knocked her into the table beside the bed. When she regained the strength to stand, the convulsing had stopped. Aside from her breathing, the room was silent, just like every other room.
“Brad?”
She reached her hand lightly to his neck. It was warm, but completely still.
“Brad…”
His weak voice was the only sound she could comprehend as it ran through her head. “Kayleigh… I love you… always.”
“BRAD!!!” His name turned into an incomprehensible scream. It shook the quiet of the looming mansion.
Her house… her sisters… Greek Park… Derek… Megan… Zack… Alison… Josh… Christian… Jamie… Matt…
Sammy… Sammy…
“I love you… always.”
Brad…
Brad…
Adrenaline ran through Kayleigh’s veins as her grief consumed her. Her body assumed the natural flight versus flight response. In the wake of a dangerous illness, one should run.
No matter who they were running from.
Kayleigh’s body forced her to run. She ran away from Kappa Sigma, away from Tri Delta, away from Greek Park. She ran toward the university without stopping until her body succumbed under her. She fell to the ground as a car jerked to a stop behind her.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. Why can’t I die?
A door slammed shut. “Are you alive?”
She didn’t respond.
Two feet stopped near her face. “You’re… not covered in the sores…”
She remained silent again.
“And you are breathing…” The voice softened. “And bleeding…”
Kayleigh wearily pulled herself to her knees.
“I remember you… The girl with the office assistant.”
“I love you… always.”
Rather than face the pain again, Kayleigh’s face became hard and cold.
“You’re… not covered with sores either… Can you help me?”
“Help you?”
“He was convulsing… covered in those purple sores and bleeding. His voice was so small… and his fever was so high; his cheeks were flushed even when they were sallow…”
“I can’t help you…”
She managed to struggle to her feet. “You’re the only living person, and you can’t help me?! I’ll walk to the hospital, then! I’ll get the paramedics to answer my calls!”
He grabbed her shoulders. “There’s no point in me helping him! He’s dead! Everyone in this University is dead! Do you understand? There’s no use in being spoiled or irrational now!”
“Mr. Dorough, sir, you’re hurting me.” Her voice barely whimpered as she pulled herself away.
He dropped his hands from her shoulders and turned back to his car.
“Where?”
“There’s someone I have to see. You’re welcome to join me.”
Kayleigh hesitated and looked toward the campus.
“I’m the only living person you’ll find in the entire university.”
Kayleigh gave a slight nod and dragged her feet to the car door. She opened it slowly and slid in.
The drive seemed to fly by, despite Mr. Dorough weaving in and out of traffic.
“Where are we going, anyway?”
“My house…”
“Oh… Why? Do you need a change of clothes?”
“Not as much as you do.”
Kayleigh pursed her lips.
Mr. Dorough cringed at the expression. “I think you can appreciate this…”
Kayleigh turned to face him, her interest slightly piqued.
“Yesterday, I was supposed to spend some time with my son, Bartholomew…”
“He didn’t come to your dedication?”
“His mother and I are separating.”
“I’m sorry…”
“There’s no need to be.”
“So you’re going to your son now?”
“I’ll get you to a hospital after I grab him.”
“Oh…”
That was the last the two spoke. Kayleigh decided to ignore the drive, preferring to stare out the window. Mr. Dorough didn’t seem like he wanted to talk more anyway.
Derek… Megan… Zack… Alison… Josh… Christian… Jamie… Matt…
Sammy… Sammy…
“I love you… always.”
Brad…
She closed her eyes as a few tears spilled on to her cheeks.
Brad…
When she opened her eyes, the car was parked in front of another mansion. She turned toward the house, wondering how long Mr. Dorough had been gone.
It was at that moment that a man exited the house. He tore a small stack of papers as he walked back toward the car. The scraps from the papers scattered to the winds.
Mr. Dorough gripped the handle of the car. His hand shook violently. His face was notably pale. He opened the door and sat in his seat for a few minutes.
“Mr. Dorough?”
“It isn’t just the university…” His voice was quiet and muffled.
“What?”
“If there was a virus threatening your country, where would you go to get away from it?”
“Some other country…”
“But the airports are probably closed…” Mr. Dorough revved the engine, and the car lurched forward as it started to run according to the speedometer’s gage.
When they had reached the highway, Kayleigh finally caught her breath. “Mr. Dorough, where are we going?”
“As far away from Orlando as possible! But first, we have to stop at Cape Canaveral!”
