I never had children, and at this point, I probably never will. Still, like I’ve said before, I feel like a father here. I am our leader, the head of the family, and it’s my job to take care of the others. It’s not easy. But then, fatherhood isn’t, is it?
I lost my own father about a month before I turned twenty, but before the cancer took him, we were close. I always wanted to be the same kind of father as him, the kind who took his kids camping and was never too busy to toss around a football in the backyard. I’ll probably always regret not settling down with someone and starting a family while I had the chance. But then, maybe it’s better that I didn’t.
I look at Brian and Howie, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a child. To stand by, helpless, and watch as the sickness consumed them. It certainly wasn’t easy watching my dad waste away, but even though he and I were both much too young, it wasn’t unnatural – parents are supposed to die before their children, not the other way around.
It’s bad enough trying to protect everyone here – and even worse, failing at it. I can’t begin to describe what I went through after AJ got bitten. From the day he’d arrived on the base with Howie and Kayleigh, he had been my right-hand man, my best soldier. He had risked his life, sacrificed himself to be the bait for our battle plan, and it seemed he was about to be our first casualty. I’m a military man; I’m used to losing men, sometimes close friends, but I wasn’t ready to lose AJ. I don’t want to lose any of them.
These nine people are the only family I’ve got left, and it’s my duty to protect them. The stakes have never been higher; the fate of the world might depend on our survival. This is one mission at which I absolutely must not fail.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Week Twelve
When Kevin got up the next morning, Gabby was already waiting for him at the kitchen table. “Morning!” she chirped, unusually brightly.
“Good morning,” Kevin echoed warily, eyeing her with suspicion. He liked Gabby, but her moods were pretty unpredictable. One minute she was happy and talkative like she seemed now, and the next, either sullen and pouting or angry and screaming, usually at her mother. Having grown up with only brothers and not spending much time around kids as an adult, he hadn’t yet learned that this was just typical teenage girl behavior.
“So, what are we gonna do today?” Gabby asked, her eyes large and shining.
If he had, he would have recognized from the start that her bizarre cheerfulness was just because she wanted something. “Do?” repeated Kevin, and for once, he honestly wasn’t sure. Usually he had a plan, an objective for the day, but the scare with AJ had thrown everyone off. All plans had been put on hold until they found out what was going to happen to AJ, and even now, Kevin wanted to wait and make sure he was really alright.
“Yeah… you’re not gonna go out zombie-hunting today, are you? It’s Sunday,” added Gabby, like she really cared if it was a day of rest or not.
“After what happened last time? No. Not today,” said Kevin, joining her at the table. Probably tomorrow, he added in his head, but that would depend on how AJ and the others were feeling. He knew they had all been shaken by the trauma of almost losing AJ to the undead.
“Oh, good! Maybe we can do something fun, then!”
Kevin raised his eyebrows. “What did you have in mind?”
With a hopeful grin, Gabby pushed something across the table toward him. It was the base map she’d confiscated back at the chapel, he realized. Even though she’d been out on fewer trips than the rest of them, the kid probably had it memorized by now, for as often as she studied it. “I think we should check out the mall!”
She reached out and tapped a spot on the map, and he looked at where she was pointing. BX Mall, it said. “That’s the base exchange mall. It’s not exactly a mall like you’re thinking.”
Her expression was confused and crestfallen. “What kind of mall is it?”
“Well, it has stores and a food court and stuff, but most of them are military-related.”
“I don’t care,” Gabby said quickly. “It sounds better than hanging out here. I wanna go out!”
“Be glad we’re not still living in the chapel.”
“I am! But I thought things would change once we got rid of all the zombies on the base. It’s not all that different, though; you guys still get to go out on hunting trips, while I’m stuck here with my mom.” She rolled her eyes.
“It’s for your protection, Gabby. It’s not safe anywhere, even on the base. We think we got them all, but you never know – it’s a big area, and there’s lots of buildings they could be hiding in. And if you think we’re having fun when we go outside the base, you’re sorely mistaken,” Kevin said grimly.
“AJ has fun.”
“Yeah, well, look what happened to AJ. This is not something to take lightly.” Kevin sighed, then looked around to avoid her mutinous glare. “Where is your mother, anyway?”
Gabby let out a long-suffering sigh. “Upstairs, changing the sheets. She always changes the sheets on Sundays.” When Kevin raised his eyebrows again, she added, “Yeah, I know, tell me about it. You’ve only been living with her for a month; try thirteen years!”
Kevin offered her what he hoped was an understanding smile, but then he said quietly, “You should be glad to have her around, you know. We’re the only ones who had anyone from our families survive. I’m sure the others would give anything to have their moms here.”
A stricken look crossed Gabby’s face. “I am!” she insisted quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that; I love my mom! She just… bugs me sometimes…” She trailed off lamely, hanging her head.
“I know,” Kevin said, reaching out to pat her arm. “Just a friendly reminder to show her some respect.”
Gabby scowled, but nodded. When she lifted her head, she was smiling again. “So… about the mall…?”
Kevin racked his brain, but he couldn’t come up with a logical reason why not, so finally, he said, “Alright… I’ll take you to see the mall, if your mom says it’s okay. Maybe some of the others will want to go, too.”
Gabby gasped, “Thank you!” and jumped up from her seat, scampering up the stairs to ask her mother’s permission. “She said it’s okay!” she announced a few minutes later, bounding back down.
Kevin looked up at her skeptically. “Really?” He had not forgotten the time Gabby had snuck out of the chapel to go adventuring on her own; he knew she could be manipulative.
“Really,” sighed Jo, appearing on the staircase. She followed Gabby down, carrying a basket of laundry. “She has a point – as long as you’re with her, I know she’ll be protected.”
Kevin tried to suppress his smile. “Well… alright then,” he said, standing up. “Give me an hour to get ready and eat some breakfast. Why don’t you run next door and see if anyone else is up and wants to go?”
“Okay!”
“Be careful!” Jo shouted after her, as Gabby darted out the door.
But Kevin wasn’t too worried about her there. Since they’d taken residence of three of the homes on base, they hadn’t encountered any zombies in the area. She would be safe, as long as she only went as far as AJ, Howie, and Kayleigh’s house, two doors down.
Kevin headed back upstairs, where he took a long shower, shaved, and got dressed. Even he, a soldier used to roughing it, appreciated the simple comforts of home, after two months of living in the chapel. They didn’t have all the amenities of the pre-undead world; they tried to conserve as much electricity as they could, since the base was still running on generators with only a limited supply of fuel. When the fuel ran out, they’d have to either find more or go without power.
Gabby was nowhere to be found when he returned to the kitchen, so he fixed himself a bowl of cereal and ate breakfast alone. When he was finished, he put his empty bowl in the sink and asked Jo, “Where did Gabby go?”
“She’s outside, with the crew,” called Jo, poking her head out of the laundry room.
Kevin went out and found “the crew” gathered on the front porch of the house that Brian, Nick, Riley, and Gretchen shared. Gabby, Kayleigh, and Gretchen squeezed onto the swing, while the others perched on the porch rail or sat around on the steps. “Are y’all going to the mall?” he asked, looking around at the big group in amusement. Everyone was there, except for Jo.
“We are,” said Kayleigh, referring to herself, Howie, and AJ. “I can never pass on a trip to the mall. Apparently, either can AJ.” She beamed at her roommate, who slid his dark sunglasses down the bridge of his nose and raised his eyebrows at her.
Kevin looked at Brian. “What about y’all?”
“Nick and Riley wanted to go to the beach,” he replied. “I think Gretchen and I are gonna go with them and check it out.”
“Alright… be careful…”
“We will, cuz.” Brian flashed him the same impish grin he’d had all his life.
“See if Jo wants to go; she’s in the house doing laundry. Unless…” He looked at Gabby. “Did you invite your mom to go to the mall with us?”
Gabby wrinkled her nose, a look of pure horror on her face. “No!” she said, aghast. “I don’t wanna go shopping with her!”
Kevin frowned, giving her a warning look that said, Remember what we talked about this morning?
Gabby got the message; the lines on her face smoothed out, and she flashed him a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”
Kevin nodded, winking at her. “Well, let’s head out then,” he said, clapping his hands, eager to get going now that their plans were made. He’d always hated just sitting around. “Which vehicle do you want?” he asked Brian.
“We’ll take the pick-up. You guys can have the Hummer.”
So Kevin, Gabby, Kayleigh, AJ, and Howie piled into the Humvee and headed for the base exchange mall, a large building near the front gates. “It looks like a mall,” said Gabby, looking up at the building with approval, as they climbed out of the vehicle.
“I haven’t been shopping in forever!” Kayleigh added happily. It was nice to see her smile; she was a pretty girl and had probably been one of those bubbly types in her former life, but these days, she usually just seemed depressed. Maybe a shopping trip was just what she needed to perk her up.
When they walked into the mall, they all stopped just inside the entrance, stopped and stared. The interior was dark, hazy natural light filtering through the skylights in the ceiling, showing the dust particles that floated through the air, casting shadows across the tiled floor. It was also completely deserted, of course, and although they were used to abandoned buildings by now, this one was so large and so crowded, usually, that it still seemed creepy. AJ’s raspy voice echoed through the empty expanse when he said, “It’s like a fuckin’ ghost town, ain’t it?”
Gabby, Kayleigh, and Howie nodded silently, solemnly. Kevin just stared, remembering random trips here to get Baskin Robbins with some of the guys he’d gotten to know during his recovery on the base. Guys like Sam Licata, who had succumbed to the virus, and Charlie Edwards, who had been infected by a zombie bite. Guys who were now dead.
A lump swelled in his throat as he looked over at AJ, who had come so close to meeting the same fate as Charlie. He was glad they had voted not to kill him that night, but it disturbed him how close the vote had been. And he had been on the wrong side. He had voted to shoot AJ, the way he’d shot Charlie, and now he wondered, had killing Charlie been a mistake, too? Charlie had asked for it, begged him to do it, but what if he had also been immune, the way AJ was, the way they all seemed to be?
The thought made him sick, and he was glad he would never know for sure. He wasn’t sure he could live with the truth.
***
“So why do you think AJ’s not a zombie?” Gabby asked reflectively, once it was just Kevin and her. After taking a lap around the mall together, they had split into two groups to check out the stores. Kayleigh had patronizingly offered to take Gabby with her, but Gabby had no interest in shopping with the older sorority girl and said she wanted to stick with Kevin instead. Feelings hurt, Kayleigh had stalked off in a huff with Howie and a reluctant AJ following in her wake, and Kevin was left alone to shop with a thirteen-year-old girl.
He looked down at her. “That’s a real good question.”
“Well, we’re all wondering, right? So what do you think?”
He took his time answering, thinking through his words before he said them. Slowly, he replied, “I think it’s clear that we all have some kind of immunity to the virus that caused this… None of us got sick in the first place, even though we were exposed… and if we’re like AJ, not even the bites can affect us the way they did… others…”
“Like that girl. The dead soldier,” said Gabby knowingly, and Kevin pictured Private Butler, her brains foaming out of her shattered skull, even as she rose from the dead and staggered towards them.
“Right,” was all he said back.
“S0 why do you think we’re all immune?”
He’d wondered the same thing all day and night, but had come up with no solid theories. Every possibility he’d played around with had flaws, reasons why it could not be so. “I dunno,” he replied. “What do you think?”
“I still think it’s genetic,” she answered promptly, precocious as ever. “You and Brian… my mom and me… that can’t be a random coincidence, can it?”
“It does seem far-fetched,” Kevin admitted. “But it doesn’t explain why the rest of everyone’s relatives got the virus and died. If we had inherited some kind of immunity, don’t you think more of our family members would have, too?”
He could practically hear the gears whizzing in Gabby’s brain as she contemplated that. Finally, she replied, “Maybe it’s just really, really rare.”
“That could be,” he conceded, impressed by her logic, even though he’d considered and dismissed the very same notion the previous day. It worked for Jo and Gabby, mother and daughter, who looked so alike. But how could he and Brian, first cousins, yet total opposites, have inherited the same genetic anomaly when no one else in their family, not their parents or their brothers or, in Brian’s case, children, had? Granted, Kevin didn’t know for certain that the rest of his family was dead, but he had come to accept it – after all, it had been nearly three months since the Day of Unholy Resurrection. If they were still alive, they would have come looking for him by now.
He knew most of the others, those who had not seen their dead family members firsthand, had come to realize the same sad fact. They were all dealing with it in different ways. Some, like AJ and Nick, seemed determined to make the most of their new life and enjoy the simple pleasures it had to offer, rather than dwell on what they missed about their old lives. Others, like Brian and Kayleigh, were still haunted by their grief. The rest of them were somewhere in between, and Gretchen was just in denial, still expecting her husband to turn up any day. She had started asking Kevin about traveling north, to Maryland, where her husband had been working when the Osiris Virus spread. His firm answer was “no.” Their group was so small already, he couldn’t bear the risk of losing any of their numbers, and after what had happened to AJ just outside the walls of the base, there was no way he was going to let Gretchen try to make it all the way to Maryland. It wasn’t really up to him, he knew; she was free to go if she insisted, but somehow, he knew she wouldn’t. She was afraid, afraid of the journey and afraid of what she might find – or not find – at its end. That fear kept her put, for now.
He watched Gabby wander ahead of him, absently tugging at the choker she always wore around her neck, as she rifled through racks of military clothing. The teenager had adjusted to their new world better than he would have guessed – better, indeed, than some of the others. She was tough, and according to Jo, her hardened exterior had been around even before the dead rose. He knew about her father, about how she’d gotten the scar she tried to hide with her necklace. It was a tragedy, for sure, but it had made her stronger; in a way, it had prepared her for what was to come. She was better equipped than most to handle the world falling down around her because, for her, it already had when her father had been taken from her.
“Finding anything?” he asked kindly, catching up to her.
Gabby made a face. “Everything’s blue, green, khaki, or camo. I’m sick of camo.”
“Sorry,” he said. “I warned you this wasn’t gonna be your kind of mall.”
“Tell me about it. There’s not even a Claire’s or a Hot Topic.”
“I’m sure Kayleigh’s complaining about the same thing.”
Gabby rolled her eyes. “Kayleigh would probably complain even if there was a Claire’s and Hot Topic. I’m sure she only shops at places like Abercrombie & Fitch and Banana Republic.”
Kevin chuckled. “Not a fan, huh?”
“She reminds me of my best friend, Makayla. Except she’s not, and I don’t want her to be. Nobody can replace Mak.”
“I don’t think she wants to take your best friend’s place. But maybe she needs a new best friend of her own. She hasn’t had an easy time of it here… not that any of us have, but… you know what I’m saying, don’t you?” Kevin looked closely at Gabby, who was frowning.
“Yeah. I know. I just don’t want her treating me like her kid sister, like her Mini-Me. I’m nothing like her.”
“I know,” echoed Kevin, thinking, No, you’re not. You’re so much stronger. But he didn’t say that, not wanting it to get back to Kayleigh. Kayleigh had come so far since the first few days; he didn’t want to do anything to set her back.
They left the military clothing store and made their way to the food court. “Do you think anything will still be good?” asked Gabby, looking longingly from Anthony’s Pizza to Baskin Robbins.
“Without electricity? Doubt it.” He nodded towards the ice cream parlor. “I bet all they’ve got now is thirty-one flavors of curdled ice cream soup.”
He meant it as a joke, but Gabby looked too dejected to smile. “Ew…” she said pitifully, her mouth turning down into a sad pout.
“We can still check it out, if you want. Who knows, maybe they’ve got a deep freeze that stayed cold enough.” He started walking towards the Baskin Robbins, and Gabby reluctantly followed.
“Ice cream sounds sooo good right now,” she whined. It wasn’t quite as hot inside the large mall as it was outside, but the air was still stagnant and stuffy. Kevin had to agree that an ice cream cone would be amazing. But it was just as he’d predicted; they gazed through the clear partition into the freezer cases next to the counter to find tub after tub of muddy-looking, liquid ice cream, floating in water from all the ice build-up that had defrosted. “What’s back there?” asked Gabby, pointing to a closed door behind the counter. “Maybe that’s the deep freeze.”
“It’s probably just a break room,” said Kevin, but Gabby had already run around the counter to see for herself. “Be careful,” he warned instinctively, as she reached to open the door.
Though he’d said it off-handedly, he’d been right to warn her: no sooner had she flung open the door than Gabby let out a high-pitched scream and jumped back.
“What?” asked Kevin in alarm, darting around the corner to see. His heart leapt into his throat as a female zombie, dressed in a pink uniform, staggered through the doorway. “Go!” he shouted to Gabby, pushing her behind him. He drew his gun, aimed, fired. The ice cream scooper zombie toppled backwards, the back of her head hitting the floor with a sickening thunk.
“Kevin?” he heard Gabby call from out in the food court.
“I’m alright!” he shouted back. “I got her! Just gonna make sure there’s no more.” Shaken, he stepped over the dead zombie and peeked into the tiny room she’d emerged from, but it was empty.
“Kevin?!” Gabby called again, her voice sounding more shrill this time.
“Coming!”
“Kevin, hurry!!” She was panicking now, and when he made it out of the ice cream parlor and back into the open space of the food court, he saw why. A second zombie, attracted by the noise, was shuffling out of Manchu Wok, bumping clumsily between tables and chairs as it lurched toward Gabby, who stood defenseless and seemingly paralyzed by fear.
“Damn,” Kevin cursed under his breath, rushing to take out the second zombie. He got in front of Gabby again, took aim, and sent a bullet right through one of the zombie’s cloudy, slanted eyes, which exploded in a spurt of fluid as the zombie collapsed, bouncing off one of the seats on its way to the floor. He waited just long enough to make sure it wouldn’t get up again, then grabbed Gabby’s hand and said, “Let’s go.”
As he returned his gun to his holster, he realized he was the only one who had come armed, more out of habit than the need for protection. Despite his constant warnings for everyone to be cautious, he, like the others, had thought the base was clear. If AJ, Howie, and Kayleigh ran into more of the undead on their end of the mall, they were going to be fashionably screwed.
