“I’m leaving on a jet plane.
Don’t know when I’ll be back again…”
I think I’m around Nick too much. He’s rubbed off on me.
But we are leaving. This time, it’ll probably be for good. It’s not safe here anymore. Probably never will be safe here again. Our sanctuary isn’t such a sanctum now. Yet… will it really be safe anywhere? Somehow, I doubt it. Call it negative thinking if you want. I just see it as realistic. I leave the optimism to Nick.
What if I’m not ready to move on?
It’s not like I have a leg to stand on to argue against this. We’re barricaded in the back of the church again. God, it feels like it did when this all began. Just with three different people, one more than the first time around. But it’s not the same; it never will be. The beginning is what made us the family we are now. You can’t replicate that. Things feel just as bad as they did then, though. Still, I don’t want to go.
This is home.
And there’s a reason why “you can never go home again” was a saying.
“Hold me like you'd never let me go,
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane.
Don't know when I'll be back again.
Oh, babe, I hate to go,
But I’m leaving on a jet plane…”
Friday, February 1, 2013
Week Forty-One
“You’re staring out the window again?”
Riley turned from where her gaze had been focused. Out in the distance, she knew Kevin was readying up a plane for their departure. Nick, Selena, and Shaun had gone with him to keep the zombies at bay while he did so. As soon as they returned, they’d all go to the runway, where Kevin would be waiting, to board the plane and leave the only true home they’d known since the Day of Unholy Resurrection had been set upon them.
“Yeah… I didn’t mean to space out on you, Bri.”
Brian smiled, wrapping an arm around her and leading her back to the bundle of sleeping bags where Gretchen and Howie were sitting. Gabby was sleeping, something that seemed odd so late in the day, but Kevin said it was probably her way of coping. Dr. Kwak and AJ were up on the roof, back to AJ’s old favorite pastime.
“They’ll be fine, you know.”
“I know that. It’s not that…”
“What is it?”
She shook her head. “Nothing important.”
The lie felt sour on her tongue. But what could she say? She knew Brian needed this more than anyone. He had been the one desperately trying to seek out more people, anyone who could help with Gretchen’s pregnancy. She had even agreed with him. It was just so bittersweet, knowing they would be leaving the base for the unknown. The plague had hit the world, not just their own country. That meant nowhere was safe, that the same dangers would be there to greet them overseas. There was no guarantee that this new safe haven was actually safe.
She sighed, sitting down next to her friends, listening to them talk. She knew she was acting distant. Riley wasn’t trying to; she just didn’t want to talk right then. If she did, she’d say what she knew they didn’t want to hear. Couldn’t they find a way to fortify the base again? Maybe. Would it be logical? No. But she didn’t want logic or facts thrown at her for once. She just wanted to know they hated the idea of leaving as much as she did. Vividly, she remembered their last expedition away from the base. Who was to say this would be any different?
And even if it was, nothing would be the same. Her mind raced back, back to the beginning. Even before the base. Back to when it was simply her and Nick, unsure if they’d survive, having no idea if there were others left, trapped inside a Target they’d run into, watching the rain fall.
“I love the rain.”
It was almost amusing, seeing the puzzled expression arise on his boyish good looks. He raised a brow at her, as she kept her eyes turned at the windows, at the storms she so adored.
“I love the rain; I love the wild way it feels. It’s just… so freeing. It’s nature unleashing its rage on the world, and I love every minute of it. I always would go out driving in it, out to this hill overlooking the beaches. I’d get out, sit in the downpour, and watch the lightening come down.”
“I wonder if it’s trying to clean the world,” he said softly.
“No, if there’s a God, He’s trying to wash humanity away.”
It was in that moment that she’d felt a connection. It was in that moment that she’d felt safe, despite the undead roaming about, thirsting for their blood. Safety had always been a spotty feeling since April fifteenth, but that was the first time she’d felt that way after that day. It was at the base where that feeling had been the most consistent. She remembered what it had been like to first arrive here, to see other people. Riley laughed, thinking of how she and Kayleigh used to argue so much in the beginning. She’d been a different person then. She wondered if Kayleigh had known she’d actually come to like her before she died. Death had come back to greet them twice more since their arrival at the base. Riley sighed; she wished she’d been able to truly say goodbye to Jo. Then again, if that chance had been given, Jo may not even have died in the first place.
“I wonder if we’d be leaving then…” she murmured.
“What do you mean?” Gretchen asked, gazing at her with concern.
Riley’s eyes remained focused on the mural AJ had once painted on the doors, so long ago now. Why had they let him do that? The picture was simply beyond depressing. Despite herself, a grin formed on her face. AJ was definitely one of a kind. “If Jo was still alive… would we have sent out a signal? Would Selena, Shaun, and that scientist still have shown up? Would we still be leaving?”
“We might be,” Howie answered, idly eating some chips, “but I don’t think so.”
“We can’t change anything.”
“I know that. My brain just doesn’t shut off.”
Just then, the doors opened. Nick peeked his head in with a grin. “We’re ready when you guys are.”
Everyone gathered what little things they had. Brian was gently waking Gabby. As they filtered out, Riley hung back, giving another glance around. She had to take it all in. Memories would be all she had. They wouldn’t all be happy, but she wanted to hang on to them anyway, as tightly as possible.
“Rye, c’mon! AJ’s got the car running.”
“I’m coming.”
“You okay?” Nick asked, as he took her hand and led her outside.
“Yep, no need to worry about me.” She flashed him a smile, ruffling his spiked-up hair. He looked so much better now that she’d been able to cut it. Riley gave one last glance to the church as she got into the crowded Hummer, and they made their way to the runway, where the plane would be waiting.
Goodbye, Kayleigh.
Goodbye, Jo.
Goodbye, home.
“Nick, breathe.”
Nick sighed, as he tried his best to not look out the window. The insanity of his fear of flying, compared to what they dealt with daily, almost made Riley want to giggle. He shut his eyes again, and she simply grabbed his hand. Now that they had been airborne for hours and would hopefully be landing soon, she felt better than she had before. Home wasn’t just simply the base, was it? No, it had to be more.
She hoped, almost prayed, that it was the people as well.
“We’re descending soon,” Kevin announced.
“Thank fucking God,” Nick muttered.
“Jesus, Nick, you know we’ll survive; your lucky ass is on the plane. Hey, that reminds me, I still need to chop off your leg and replace my lucky rabbit’s foot,” AJ teased, snickering.
“Why, you wanna replace your bum one?” Howie chimed in. “Maybe we should start calling you Hop-a-long Cassidy.”
“Hop-A-Long-what?”
“Just a really old TV show they used to watch in the Stone Age,” Nick answered, still sounding a bit shaky. He refused to open his eyes. The plane took a sudden dip, and his face immediately went green. Riley grabbed for the sick bag and handed it to him. As he started vomiting, she shifted her gaze over to Gabby, who was staring out the window and looking excited, as patches of green landscape started to appear through the heavy clouds.
“Maybe someone my age will be there,” she explained when she saw Riley’s look.
“You never know.” I hope so. You need that.
Selena was up by Kevin, giving him directions on where to go. AJ was staring towards the front of the plane, but wasn’t saying much, which was typical of him. Brian turned in his seat to look at the oldest in their group, the Korean scientist. Riley’s ears perked up at the question he posed.
“How are we going to get to your place once we land?”
“That is why we had Kevin travel at such a specific time. Those we left behind… we set a time for them to check the airport nearby every day. If Kevin lands at the right moment, they will see us come and help us get back.”
“And what happens if we don’t?” AJ asked, with a tilt of his shades.
As if Kevin had heard them, they felt the plane bump and shift as it hit solid ground, still rolling forward. Riley leaned over Nick and stared out the little window. Through the gray mist, an endless sea of zombies could be seen roaming the tarmac. The moans were deafening. She sighed. Well, guess it’s not that different from home, after all. Despite knowing otherwise, she had still hoped.
“Okay, where…” Nick paused, looking on the verge of vomiting yet again. He took a deep breath and, after a moment, seemed more settled. The plane had come to a complete stop, which had to have helped. “…are these friends of yours?”
“Be patient,” Shaun replied. “They know to be here.”
Riley raised a brow at him. “Sorry, I’m not one for blind faith.”
“We can’t afford to be,” Howie agreed.
Selena was walking down the aisle, with Kevin in tow. Everyone seemed restless, looking out their windows again and again. The only noise they heard beyond the moans came from Gretchen, who was now expelling her own stomach contents into an airsick bag. Brian sat beside her, rubbing her back in small circles. Riley didn’t envy her then; from what she knew, morning sickness was an evil thing.
“They’ll be here.”
In response, they suddenly heard the fire of gunshots. Two large vehicles – one a truck, the other a van – emerged out of the fog. Guns were sticking out through the windows, as they swerved to a stop in front of the plane. Zombies fell left and right.
Selena smirked at them all. “Trust us now?”
“Let’s go.”
Everyone pulled out their weapons. Even with transportation so close, this wasn’t going to be an easy thing. Kevin opened the side doors, activating the emergency slides for them to roll out on.
Nick grinned. “Sweet! I’ve always wanted to go down these in planes.” He jumped down onto the inflatable slide, firing around at the nearby undead as he slid. “Wooooooo-hoooooooo!”
Gabby couldn’t help but laugh. She glanced up at Kevin. “Can I go next?”
“Let Riley go, then you, and I’ll be right behind, alright?”
Riley caught the look their leader shot her. It would be Nick’s and her job to make sure Gabby got to a car safely. She couldn’t blame Kevin for being so protective of her. She was still so young in years, even if the world as it was now had aged her far beyond her time. She nodded and slid down to the tarmac, where Nick was shooting wildly, trying to wait for her.
Gunfire could be heard from the cars as well, as the occupants tried to clear out a path for them to run. Once she landed, Riley regained her bearings and jumped to help Nick keep the incoming undead at bay. He smiled at her. “Fun, ain’t it?”
Once Gabby was down, Riley wrapped her arm around the girl and ran with her and Nick to the van. They opened the doors quickly and slid in without question. In the front, there were two people. One was a young woman with short, wavy, blond hair that just barely reached the nape of her neck. The other was a large man who had obviously worked out excessively in the life before. The top of his head was shaved, and although he looked tough, his green eyes, peering at them in the rearview mirror, looked friendly. Not that it mattered; they had no choice but to trust now.
“Is Shaun okay?” the woman demanded.
Nick nodded. “Yeah, he’s fine. Oh! You must be Liz.”
“He’s talked a lot about you,” Riley added.
The woman smiled. “Yes, I’m Liz, and the big softie next to me is Ashton.”
“I’m Nick, this is Riley, and the youngin’s Gabby.”
“So, you must be the people lucky enough to survive in the States.”
“Yep.”
A few minutes later, AJ, Brian, and Gretchen slid into the backseat. Riley could see AJ leaning a bit on Brian for support as they climbed in. She knew his leg would never be the same. He would always have that noticeable limp slowing him down.
“Kev and the others are in the truck. Let’s blow this fucking zombie wannabe orgy.”
Nick laughed. “That’s AJ, and this is Brian and Gretchen.”
“Well, guys…” Ashton said with a smile. “Welcome to London.”
The conversation on the drive was stilted and awkward at first, yet they quickly forged a connection, a bond. There were just too few humans left in the world not to. As the others talked, Riley found herself retreating inwards, the way she had in the beginning, when she’d first arrived at the base with Nick. While she was less hesitant about letting people in, she still found it hard to really open up immediately. Her gaze was focused on the countryside. It was so simplistic and, yet, so beautiful, as long as she ignored the roaming ghouls out in the hills.
After almost two hours of driving, Riley had just about dozed off. Between the stress and emotional upheaval of leaving Florida and the hours they’d been flying, she was simply exhausted. She had curled up as much as she could, using Nick’s chest as a pillow. He kept stroking her hair, an action that soothed her.
“Hey, we’re here.”
Immediately, she sat up. Up ahead, a castle loomed before them. It looked straight out of any fairy tale she’d ever read as a child. More importantly, it looked impenetrable, from its stone towers down to the drawbridge they were driving over to get across the moat. There was an aura of strength about this impressive building, and Riley had to admit, using it as a base seemed downright brilliant.
“This is Bodiam Castle… but we simply call it home.”
And now, so will we, she thought with a smile. Maybe now, we’ll actually be safe at last.
