Have you ever stopped to look back on your life and wonder how you ended up where you are today? I have. It seems crazy when I start to think about it and yet at the same time it somehow feels so right. I used to never believe the saying “everything happens for a reason”. Then one day I realized I was starting to lose control of my life and loosing myself in a way. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any more confusing, my life took a 180 degree turn in a direction I never would have predicted. I mean, if you asked me even a year ago what I thought I would be doing today, I can guarantee you my answer would not have been hanging out with my boyfriend on his tour bus. Why don’t I rewind a little bit for you and let you know about my crazy journey that brought to where I am today and more importantly, who I am.
My name is Rhea Grace McKenzie and I was born and raised in a small town in Ontario, Canada. When I was younger I always said I wanted to move to a big city and live life in the fast lane. I wanted to go to school in Toronto or New York and be that hip girl you see making her way through the busy streets and subways like a breeze because she knows every corner of the city like the back of her hand. Then, as I got older and reality started to kick in, I began to realize that living that life might not be as easy as I had hoped. And I learned really fast that reality is not always all it’s cracked up to be. Reality is hard and mean.
You see, when I was little I think I had it pretty good. My Mom, Dad, Brother and I lived in the cliché perfect house with the picked fence and a pool. I had friends, I was healthy and life was good. As I got older all that started to change. When I was six, my parents got divorced. Away went the perfect house and the perfect family. Along came apartments and weekend visitations with my Dad. But I was young so I bounced back quickly. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, life decided I could handle a few more curve balls and blessed me the joy of glasses. It might not sound so bad but back then the glasses I wore took up almost half of my little eight year old face. To make matters worse, just two short years later along came the braces. Now throw in the fact that my parents were divorced and we couldn’t afford designer clothing, which just my luck, was all the rage at the time. Oh and I forgot to mention; since I am from a small town, I had gone to school with the exact same people my whole life and the entire class consisted of no more than fifteen kids. So, imagine showing up to the sixth grade, when everyone is going through puberty and bullying is at its prime, and I was basically your quintessential image of a geek. Let’s just say I was an easy target.
I think the worst part was the fact that the people who picked on me were my so called friends. Do you know how confusing and hurtful it is to not know what to expect every day you walk through those dreaded school doors? One day you are accepted with hugs and you spend the day in the “in crowd” and then just when you get your hopes up you’re squashed back to nothing the very next day. Have you have ever heard the saying “kids can be cruel”? That’s an understatement! I won’t go into detail about what I endured as young girl but I could tell you very specifically everything incident I every experienced and exactly who did it. I still wonder to this day if those people really now the scars I carry inside because of what they did. The point I’m trying to make is that everything that happened to me in grade school affected me deeply and I truly believe had a huge part in shaping me into the person I am today.
You see, when all the bullying started I began to shut down. I became extremely introverted. I was always known as the quiet, shy girl; the nice one. I felt like if I didn’t bring attention to myself I wouldn’t be a target. If I was always nice to people, no matter how much they hurt me, then maybe they would be nice back. If I buried myself in school work and proved I was smart, maybe I would be liked more because I had something to give. When none of that worked something inside me broke. I realized that no matter how hard I tried they would never like me because I just didn’t fit in. I didn’t meet the standards it took to be part of the in crowd. Once I came to this realization I decided I was better off without them.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Some parts of this story are loosely based around real events that happened in my life but most are completely fictional. All aspects of this story are completely fictional and I do not personally know or have affiliation with any of the Backstreet Boys.
