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I was sitting backstage going over the schedule for the night drinking a cup of really crappy venue coffee and finally enjoying a quite moment to myself , which was a hard thing to come by lately, when the boys came bounding down the hall after just finishing a sound check. I had chosen to stay backstage that day because apparently my face was starting be recognizable to the fans who frequently attend concerts and I was beginning to hear questions and comments about me that I chose to not deal with that day. I mean how could I answer questions I didn’t have the answer to myself? I mean who was I really? Yeah my usual answer would be I work on the tour. But I didn’t want to indulge any more than that and those fans are persistent. So after successfully hiding for the day I was now tracked down by a group of guys who were flying high on an adrenaline rush and their number one target was me. As much as I loved goofing around with the guys, today I was just not in the mood. I had so many things on my mind and I think Nick sensed it when he got close enough to see the look on my face. I must have looked pretty stressed out because Nick turned around and gave some kind of brotherly look to the guys that they give each other when they need time alone, or need help, or whatever it may be, but they backed off right away. He then came and squatted in front of me and asked if I was okay. I didn’t say anything, just gave him a look. He grabbed my hand and started dragging me down the hallway.

“Nick, where are we going?” I asked.

“I’m taking you away from here so you can stop being so stressed out and relax a bit” he said still dragging me down the hall.

I pulled him back. “Nick, I’m not stressed out because of work. Work is great. I love it! I’m having so much fun and I’m learning so much! I’m not stressed out because of work…” I trailed off.

Looking very confused Nick asked, “Well then what’s wrong because you clearly have something on your mind”.

With a light laugh I answered, “Yeah, something is on my mind, but I think I’m just over thinking it. I always over worry things. Don’t worry about it”.

“Hey, if something is wrong with you then I am worried” he said as more people began filing through the hall. “Here, come with me, we need to talk” he said as he began pulling me away again.

“Nick, you have a show in like two hours, we can’t go anywhere, and I’m fine!” I exclaimed.

“You’re not fine and we’re not leaving the venue so just come on!” he insisted. Next thing I knew he was pulling up some ladder off a secluded back hallway.

“I’m not go up there” I said putting my foot down.

“Oh come on! Have a little fun!” he laughed.

“Your crazy” I said but gave in began following him up a ladder that I wasn’t even sure could hold both our weight but as always, I trusted him. And suddenly we were on the roof. That’s right, the roof of a venue that could probably hold over 6,000 people easy. He led me to the edge where he sat down .

“I’m not sitting that close to the edge. You’re lucky you even got me up here. Please come back” I pleaded. He gave in and we sat smack dab in the middle of the roof, legs crossed, knees touching, facing each other. There was a light warm breeze and the sun was slowly beginning to lower in the sky as it got later in the day. Suddenly in that moment I felt very calm and for a split second I had completely forgotten why I was even stressing out at all. But as soon as I looked into those piercing blue eyes looking right back into mine I remember exactly why. I saw so many things every time I looked into his eyes. And right now all I saw was concern. He was so genuine and it just melted my heart. I mean what other guy would stop everything he was doing in a split second to bring me to the roof to talk about why he saw so much stress on my face? Not many I don’t think and for that reason I knew I was lucky to have him in my life.

“What’s going on Rhea?” he asked.

With a big sigh I replied, “I don’t know”.

“That’s a lie. Yes you do, so spill. If you’re so happy with you’re job than what’s got you down? How can I get you to smile again?” he asked.

I looked up at him and smiled but he could tell it wasn’t genuine. “I mean a real smile. Come on Rhea” he pleaded.

I couldn’t lie to him but could I really told him what I was feeling? He really wasn’t giving me much of a choice here. “I’m scared” I confessed.

“Scared of what?” he asked.

I took a moment to sigh deeply and contemplate how I was going to say this. “I’m scared of where this is going” I finally said.

“This?” he repeated.

“This, us, you! I’m scared of where this is going” I exclaimed dramatically pointing back and forth between the two of us.

“What do you mean?” he asked innocently. Now he was frustrating me. He can’t seriously start to deny what was going on between us. I may not be an expert in relationships but I’m no dummy. I knew what was going on.

“Come on Nick! These last couple months have been amazing for me! I seriously look back and think, am I really here? Am I really doing this? I’ve opened myself up so much with everyone and I’m happy I did because I gained so many new friends that I hope will be my friends for a long time. You know how hard that was for me to do. And with you, I let you in the most and let my guard down. We got close. We are close Nick! But these last few weeks it’s changing. We’ve always flirted but I feel like everyday it’s a little more. And not that I don’t mind because trust me I like it. It’s fun, but as tough as it was for me to open up and be your friend this is harder. It’s one thing to become your friend but a whole other thing to turn it into something more. I have no idea what I’m doing! And THAT scares me” I confided.

“Rhea, you don’t have to be scared. I told you we would take it slow and we have right?” he asked.

“Yeah” I replied.

“But your right. You know I feel like I say that a lot to you” he said trying to lighten the mood a bit. A gave a small laugh and he continued, “but you are right. Things have changed. I have been flirting with you more. And I’m sorry if that has been confusing for you but I couldn’t help it. It felt right. We started with getting to know each other and we did. Really well. Sometimes I feel like you know me better than anyone else. I knew I liked you from day one Rhea but now I really like you. A lot. I didn’t want to move too fast because I knew how you felt about it and I don’t want to rush anything either but the last thing you have to feel is scared. You can trust me. And when you feel this way I want you to talk to me about it. Don’t keep it inside and wonder what is going on and stress yourself out. Part of being in a relationship is being open with each other” he finished.

I appreciated how honest Nick was with me just as he always is. And he always had a way of making me feel at ease and put my mind a rest. I knew now that I couldn’t let fear hold me back. If I had let fear control me I wouldn’t be sitting here on the roof with Nick right now. I would probably be sitting at home wondering what to do with my life still. So I just looked up at Nick with a sideways smirk. “So is that what this is? Are we in a relationship with each now?” I slyly asked.

He smirked back and responded, “Well I know I want to be but do you? Because if you’re not ready we can wait”. Always so caring I thought. I didn’t need to think about it any more but pretended to be in deep thought. As soon as he saw the smile on my face his lit up. I knew I didn’t need to say anything but simply replied, “I’m ready”.

I thought his face was going to crack he was smiling so big and I couldn’t help but smile back. Suddenly our smiles turned into laughter and we were giggling like a couple of school girls for no reason other than we were both completely and utterly happy. Slowly our laughter diminished as he starred intently into my eyes. I felt myself leaning closer to him. I knew what was coming as I felt the butterflies inside. This was a moment I had dreamed about for a long time. And many of those times I pictured my first kiss with Nick. The setting couldn’t have been more perfect. It was like a scene from a movie. The sun was just about to set in the sky and there were beautiful pink and orange hues brushing the horizon. The warm breeze still blew through the air and we could hear the soft banter of people below waiting for the doors of the venue to open. There was no one around but the two of us sitting in the middle of the rooftop getting lost in each other. I could feel the warmth of his body radiate through mine when our lips were just whispers apart. Then, we kissed….and it was amazing. He lips were soft and he was so gentle. It only lasted a second; then he pulled away to look in my eyes and give me a reassuring smile before bringing his hands up to cup my face and pull me back to him. I eased in to the kiss effortlessly. It came so natural and it felt so right. I didn’t have anything to compare it to but I was sure Nick was one of the best kissers ever. I never wanted to stop, I could kiss him all day. But after what felt like forever he reluctantly pulled away. I looked at him expectantly while our foreheads rested against each other and he sat there still, with his eye closed and a small smile on his lips. I waited for him to make the first move and when he did he looked up at with glistening eyes and whispered “Wow”. And that was it; that was all I needed to hear to know he felt the same way I did. I couldn’t say that I loved Nick yet. I had no idea what love felt like but I knew this was something. And that was more than enough for me right then. He must have known I was lost in thought because suddenly he asked, “What are you thinking?”.

I smiled and replied, “I’m thinking how I lucky I am to have met you and that this is happening to me”.

“I was thinking the exact same thing” he smiled back.

“So, we’re together then?” I clarified.

“Yeah we’re together” he said.

“So…. am I…..your….” I drew out.

He interrupted me, “Rhea, will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.

Relieved I replied, “Yes”.

And then there it was again. That breath taking smile. We were just about to kiss again when the roof door flew open and out came AJ with Jen hot on his heels. “There you guys are! What the hell are you guys doing? Do you know how many people are looking for you? Do you know what time it is? Security is going crazy! We thought you left on your own or something!” Jen exclaimed.

Nick and I got to our feet and made our way over to them. I was shocked to see her acting like this. You’d think we had been missing for a week or something. “Geeze Jen calm down. We’re not little kids you know. We can take care of ourselves” Nick said.

“You could have at least told someone where you were going. Do you know what could have happened if you had left without security?” Jen quipped back.

“What, we’d get eaten by a pack of hungry teenage girls on the streets of New York City?” Nick sarcastically replied.

“Ha-Ha Nick, very funny. And that’s not the point. You know the policy. You can’t go anywhere without security unless you tell them where you are going and what you are doing. What are you doing by the way?” she remarked looking around and seeing nothing but me and Nick.

I saw this as a good time to pipe in, “I’m sorry Jen. I knew better. We should have said something. We just came up here to get some air and lost track of time”.

“And maybe make-out a little bit too” added AJ off to the side.

Nick and I nervously looked at each other quickly but said nothing. “I knew it! You two are hooking up!” exclaimed AJ.

“What? They’re not hooking up!” Jen said looking from AJ back to us. We awkwardly looked around not knowing what to do or say. I mean, I still didn’t know if this was okay.

“Right? You’re not hooking up! Are you?” Jen asked hesitantly.

“Um”, “Well” Nick and I both said at the same time.

“Oh my God! You guys can’t hook up!” yelled Jen.

“We can’t?” we asked simultaneously.

“Yes they can!” piped AJ.

“We can?” Nick and I repeated excitedly.

“Well…. I mean technically….I guess you can…”Jen explained.

“Yes”, “Oh good” Nick and I both said relieved at the same time again.

“But… NO, you guys can’t get together!” Jen exclaimed.

“Why?” Nick, AJ and myself all asked together.

“Because…. I need you guys to stay focused on work. And this is going to complicate things. Do you know how hard it is to have a relationship on the road?” she asked to no one in particular.

“Yeah, when it’s long distance! Not when they’re both together, all the time, everywhere they go! I mean they’ve practically been dating for the last month. Come on Jen. You saw it, everyone did!” chimed AJ.

“What are you talking about” I asked AJ.

“Oh come on Rhea. You and Nick were like…made for each other. It’s weird. But I think you’re amazing and Nick seems to think so too. You make him happy, and when Nick is happy so am I so I say go for it already!” AJ replied.

At this point Nick put his arm around my waist and pulled me close and with a big smile said, “Thanks dude!” in a cheesy little voice that just made me laugh.

“Oh man, alright I give up. Let’s go. You two are running late now. And just know, I’m keeping an eye on you guys” Jen warned.

“Yes Mom” Nick joked.

The two guys went ahead to catch up on what they had missed getting ready for the show while Jen pulled me aside before we joined the others.

“Hey, I just want you to know that I really do think it’s great that you and Nick are together. But just don’t fall too fast. I don’t want to see you get hurt and I really don’t want this affecting your work!” she said.

“I know and thank you. And trust me! I have been taking it slow. If you only knew everything you wouldn’t have to worry about a thing so don’t! And if I feel like it’s affecting my work or if I just need a little girlfriend advice I will let you know!” I replied.

“Okay good. Now lets go check on your boyfriend to make sure he’s behaving himself” she laughed.

So off we went to join the rest of the gang who at that point had already magically heard about Nick and I. It was a little overwhelming to have so many people come up to me and congratulate me on something I hadn’t even really processed myself but that was just the way things went around here and I think I was finally starting to get used to it all.