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Nick and I spent the next few months continuing to grow in our relationship and I was having an amazing time. It still got to me every time I heard him refer to me as his girlfriend. And I really had to remind myself that when people asked he really was my boyfriend. I also found myself wondering why I had ever been so reluctant to do this any sooner. I started to wonder how different my life might have been if I had opened myself up to more experiences when I was younger. But then I realized that if I had then maybe I wouldn’t be where I am today. And that meant that I might not have ended up with Nick. And when I thought of that I felt more relief that everything happened the way it did because essentially, it brought me to Nick.

It was now four months into our relationship and six months since I had met Nick and I felt really content with where Nick and I were together. But I knew the next step was fast approaching and I was once again finding myself nervous about taking it to the next level. I knew he had experience and he knew that I didn’t. But I also knew that he was being faithful to me and it had been a while since he had been with anyone. Most importantly, I knew that I was ready. I was tired of holding back because I didn’t know what I was doing or because I was scared. If the past had proven me anything it’s that fear only holds me back and whenever I let go of that fear good things always seemed to come of it. And it was natural to be scared about this. So I knew it was time to have a talk with Nick. It always seemed to make things a little easier.

We were staying in Vegas that night after the show and leaving the next afternoon on the tour bus to head to Cincinnati. It was going to be a long bus ride so I wanted to have this talk before we left. He got back to the hotel room after the show pretty late but I was still awake and waiting for him when he opened the door. He was a little surprised to see me waiting for him but I’d occasionally done that before so it wasn’t to strange. I let him shower and grab a bite to eat from room service before deciding to open up the conversation. We were both lying on the bed completely relaxed in each others arms. He had flannel PJ pants on and no shirt and I had on my favorite boy shorts and tank top. The room was completely dark except for the soft glow of the TV. When I put the TV on mute I think he was expecting some kind of a talk but maybe not quite this.

“I’m not sure where to begin” I said.

“Just say whatever it is baby. Remember we have to be honest with each other” he said back.

I took a deep breath and decided to just lay it all the table, “I think I’m ready for the next step” I said shyly looking up at him.

It took him a minute to respond and when he did he stuttered out, “You mean….” and then just looked at me knowingly.

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and we’ve been together for a while now and I feel completely comfortable with you. It took me a while to open up and I still am a little bit everyday but I’m really happy with you. And…I know that I want to be with you. In every way” I confessed.

“Wow, I have to say I didn’t see this coming” he replied.

“Really? Haven’t you thought about it?” I asked starting to feel slightly self conscience.

“Oh trust me, I’ve thought about. A lot! But I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t want you to feel like I was pushing you to do something you weren’t ready for. I wanted it to be all about you and I knew that when you were ready, you would come to me. I just didn’t think it would be so soon that’s all” he stated.

“Well I am ready. And I didn’t want to make you wait any more” I replied.

“Wait a second! I don’t want you to do this because you feel like I need to. Because I would wait forever if you wanted me to” he exclaimed.

I couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his reply, “Nick, I would never make you wait forever! Plus, that’s a little hard to believe!” I laughed.

“No it’s not” he laughed back. “I really would wait as long as you wanted me to you know” he stated very seriously. That was just one more thing I loved about him. And the more I thought about it the more I realized I did love him. I was pretty sure I did. Since I had never been in love before I couldn’t compare it to anything but everything I was feeling was pointing in one direction and that was love. So I said it. “I love you”.

It took him a minute to register what I had said and very smoothly replied, “I love you too”.

“You do?” I asked surprised.

“Yeah I do” he laughed back. “I’ve probably felt it a lot longer than you but I didn’t want to tell you…” he explained.

I cut him off, “because you didn’t want to scare me”. He just nodded. “Nick, I want you to know how much I appreciate how caring and thoughtful you are towards me but I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realized that fear only holds me back. And when I let go of that fear good things always seem to happen for us. So I want you to make me a deal. I don’t want you to hold anything back from me anymore because you’re afraid it might scare me. I think I’ve grown up enough to learn how to deal with anything you throw my way okay?” I asked him.

“Deal” he agreed.

“So do you think you could tell me one more time what you said to me earlier? I think I liked hearing that coming from you!” I said.

He chuckled a little and then easily spoke the four most perfect words I had ever heard him say, “I love you, Rhea”. At that was all I needed to solidify how I felt as I leaned in to kiss the man I loved. We lovingly held each other, kissing and softly caressing each other until I could feel it quickly turning into more. I knew that was the moment. I wanted to be with him right then and there and now he knew. I felt him tentatively move on top of me and begin to gently pull at the hem of my shirt. His eyes met mine and all I could see was pure love and desire. I hoped he could see the same in mine as I nodded my head for him to continue. As soon as he got the approval he was looking for there was no turning back. I was swept up in a whirl wind of emotions I had never felt before. I was feeling things I never knew possible. And seeing Nick in this light, his face full of such passion, the heat emanating from his body into mine, only fueled the fire I was feeling inside for him. And just as we become one he hauntingly whispered “I love you” once more. It was the most intense experience of my life and I felt like I was flying high for hours afterwards. Nick instantly asked if I was okay, which was an huge understatement for what I was feeling in that moment. All I could do was repeat “I love you” over and over until I was able to regain my composure. Finally, when words returned, I turned to him as we lay once again in each others arms and whispered, “thank you”.

“No, thank you” he replied.

“That was amazing Nick. Perfect” I added.

“Yes it was. Trust me Rhea, you might not know it yet or believe me when I say this, but that really was special. That doesn’t happen often. You are amazing. You are perfect for me” he revealed.

“Oh, Nick” I sighed and kissed him once more. “But I hope you’re wrong about one thing” I countered.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“I hope this does happen often. Very often! Because now that I’ve got a taste of what you have to offer, I’m never going back” I laughed.

“Oh Rhea, my funny girl” he laughed back. And with that we both peacefully drifted off into one of the best sleeps I had ever had in my life. I never wanted that feeling to go away.