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A few weeks went by and finally Joe got back to me. I was waiting for him to give me some business cards and some paper work to read over that would push me in the right direction but what he proposed to me next I couldn’t even fathom. Joe had spoken to the tour manager for the Backstreet Boys and told her about me and what I was doing and he told me she was interested in meeting me. I didn’t really understand why until Joe told me he had suggested to her that I may be of help on the next tour. Now let me just clarify, that I never told Joe that I was a fan of the Backstreet Boys so all of our conversations were strictly professional and I definitely had not indicated I was trying to get a job out of anything. I was just trying to get helpful tips from a friend. All of this came as a shock and I’m not sure what I was more shocked about, the prospect of a possible job, going on a tour or meeting the Backstreet Boys! Of course I accepted the meeting and two days later there I was sitting in a board room with Joe waiting to meet the Backstreet Boys tour manager.

I met with Jen who was beyond nice and we had a lengthy conversation about the in’s and out’s of what it takes to run a tour. All the information was mind boggling but I was so grateful to her for being open and willing to share everything with me. I would have been happy walking away from the meeting if it had ended there. But it didn’t. Jen then asked about me and what I knew about running events so far. I told her everything could think of and explained to her all the involvement I had running and volunteering for events up to that point. I knew I had a lot to learn but I also knew I had to give. I had gained so much experience and sitting there in that room I felt like this was a chance to turn a whole new page in my life. I knew that I was ready for the next step but I also knew going on a tour was a huge step to take at one time. But something deep down kept pushing me further and I knew I couldn’t walk away from this opportunity. But I didn’t even know what the opportunity was!

Jen told me should would think everything over and get back to me in a couple weeks to let me know if anything was available. I thanked her greatly and left the meeting feeling like I was floating on air. Like I said before, even if nothing came of it I still felt like I had been given a special opportunity that no one else did and I gained valuable knowledge from it. But I still couldn’t help but get my hopes up. The next few weeks seemed to drag so I buried myself in my events to occupy myself. Before I knew it the phone was ringing and it was none other than Jen. She said she really enjoyed talking with me and had spoken to some other members of the production and they all seemed to agree that they could always use extra hands on the tour. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She was asking me to go on tour with the Backstreet Boys! I literally pinched myself to see if I was dreaming! I wasn’t! She warned that I would pretty much be a gopher just running around doing what anyone asked me to do. She said it probably wouldn’t be the most enjoyable job but it was mine if I wanted it. Are you kidding me? Of course I wanted it! I mean who else gets that chance to go on a freaking world wide tour and be a got to girl for the Backstreet Boys? She could have asked me clean toilets all day and I would have said yes! This was the most amazing opportunity and learning experience I could have ever asked for. So why was I suddenly freaking out and regretting my decision?

I started having flashbacks of my days as little girl and getting picked on. Feeling like I wasn’t good enough and reverting back into the shy, timid girl that let’s people walk all over her. What if I got there and I didn’t measure up? What if I sucked at the job and I screwed up the freaking Backstreet Boys tour? I mean I know my job wasn’t that big but I still could mess things up. I had worked so hard to become who I was. I pushed myself to be more social and let down my guard a bit. I put everything I had into finding a purpose for my life and making something of myself. And now there I was with the biggest opportunity sitting in my lap and I felt like I didn’t deserve it. I felt like even after everything I had been through and all the hard work it still wasn’t meant for me. Not mention the fact that I was scared out of my mind. I had never been away from home for more than a week! How was I supposed to pack up all my stuff and leave on my own to live on the road with a bunch of strangers for months on end all by myself! I felt like I had gotten myself in to deep and I was drowning. But there was no backing out. I had already told Jen I wanted the job and the papers were already being signed. I had to convince myself I could do this. I was going on tour with the Backstreet Boys and I was going to do a good job. And try not faint when I meet them!