- Text Size +
“Theresa, please, have a sit. What I’m about to tell you, is not the greatest of news.” I sat down and crossed my legs, glancing at this woman.
“Honestly, Dr. Lancaster. I promise to behave myself, no matter what you tell me.” I smiled at her and she just shook her head. Her thumb and forefinger pinched the bridge of her nose and I realized that this news was not going to be the best.
“Theresa, I hate to inform you, but the chance of you having kids, is very unlikely. We’ve run tests and have come up with the information. You’re body just can’t seem to handle it.” I looked at her and around me. How could this happen to me? All I’ve ever wanted out of life was a family, a huge family. Kids to roam around, kids to love and who loved me. Sure, there was adoption, but that could take years and I wanted to start my family now. “There’s been a problem for years, all coming from your eggs and your pervious doctor boiled it down to your thyroid, but that was never the case.”
“Thank you, Dr. Lancaster.” She nodded her head and I stood to go. “I’m sorry you had to tell me, I know it’s not an easy thing to state.” I smiled at her as I walked out of the room. I walked to my car, dazed. ‘Not able to have children? How am I going to tell Brian?’

I watched as he ate his dinner, totally unaware of what was about to happen. He was content in his knowledge that his wife would provide him the family that he wanted. Yet, I couldn’t. Because I was one of those rare women whose body didn’t produce enough eggs. Wonderful times, not having a period every month, but it was hell when you’re trying to have kids.
“You’re not eating, are you okay?” I picked at my food and sighed.
“No, actually, I’m not. Brian, we need to talk, and it’s rather serious.” He glanced up at me, took in the features and set his fork down. He leaned back in his chair and wiped his mouth with his napkin.
“What’s wrong sweetie?”
“I saw Dr. Lancaster today. She gave me some awful news.”
“What?”
“I can’t have kids. Something about not producing enough eggs. That’s why I don’t…” He shook his head, refusing to hear anymore.
“When we got married, you said…you told me.”
“I was mistaken. My own doctor told me I would be fine. He lied to me as well. Or rather, didn’t bother checkin’ out all his facts.”
“Damn it.” He stood up and threw his napkin on the table. “I can’t believe this, can’t…” He stormed into the living room, looking out on the back porch. “Do you know that almost everyone else has at least one kid?” By everyone else, he was referring to his four band mates, the other four members of the Backstreet Boys.
“Yes. With the exception of Alex, I know. I’m not stupid, Brian.”
“Did you bother to think how this would make me feel?” I looked up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Screw you, Littrell. You think I want this? To have my dreams dash away because of my stupid body? I’m so fuckin’ sorry I screwed you’re life up, but damn it, it screwed mine over too. This was not my wish and you should know that.” I turned on my heel and ran upstairs, slamming the door behind me. What an ungrateful cad. Oh, I loved that man, but sometimes, I wish to God, I could just strangle him for his uncaring manner.

****************************
I slammed my car into park and stormed inside his house, not caring if he was asleep or whatever the hell was going on. He quickly entered the hall and raised his eyebrow.
“What’s up Bri?”
“I found out something tonight Howie and honestly, I have no idea what to do.”
“Sit down man, and tell me about it.”
“I’m not intruding on anything am I?”
“No. Terri is just cleaning up after dinner. Go ahead and sit. Want anything to drink?”
“Um, a coke would be fine.” Howie nodded his head and I sat down on the living room couch, sighing as I leaned my head back.
“Here you go man. So, tell me, what’s up?”
“Theresa can’t have kids. Something is up with her body and she can’t have ‘em.”
“What’s so bad about that? Brian, there’s lots of other ways to have kids.”
“I know, but it wouldn’t be the same.”
“Okay, I understand. And tell me, did you happen to get into it with her?” I cringed, recalling the anger I had expressed. But recalling that, I felt the hurt once again. “Brian, I know you well enough that you let your feelings get stated. In the process, I’m almost positive you hurt her more than you can imagine.”
“She lied to me.”
“When?”
“Her wedding vows. We wrote our own and she stated that she loved me and would love me forever. That she would have a houseful of children and make all my dreams complete.”
“Was she aware of her condition prior to your wedding day?” Sadly, I shook my head. Yes, I made a big fuckin’ mess out of this. But damn it… “Go home to you wife and say your sorry.”
“She slammed the door Howie. God, she was crying when I left.” Howie sat down next to me and patted my shoulder.
“Make amends. I’m sure come the morning light; you’ll find a way to work through this. Don’t go to a lawyer and claim that you want a divorce on the grounds that she lied in her wedding vows.” I looked at him and shook my head.
“I wouldn’t think of getting a divorce.”
“Why? Your beliefs or your love for your wife?” I blinked once and held my breath for a second, which was more then enough time for Howie to raise his brow in question.
“I love her Howie, don’t you think otherwise.”
“It’s not me thinking that. Why take so long to answer?”
“I didn’t. It took me but a moment…”
“When it should have been on your lips that you love her no matter what.” I sighed, knowing he was right. “Honestly Brian, don’t let this situation bring down a love that’s too right and too pure. You two have loved each other for years. Don’t be stupid.” I nodded my head and headed out to my car, my mind lost in its thoughts.