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Chapter 13
I slipped my shoes off and rolled my jeans up, slipping my feet inside the pool. I closed my eyes, feeling like such a failure. Sure, I had Brian, but what had it cost me? I loved him, will always love him, and yet he just asked me to sleep with another woman! To my face and in front of her husband! How do you respond to that? It was obvious that Brian didn’t want a divorce, that he was still trying to save this worthless marriage, but, it was killing me.
“May I join you?” I wiped the tears away and nodded my head. He did what I did and slipped his feet in the pool. “Feels nice, huh?”
“Please don’t make small talk. I’m not sure I can handle it right now.”
“Do you love him?” I turned my head in his direction, and tried so hard to fight the tears, but they didn’t listen to my will. His arm slipped around my shoulders and I rested my head on his shoulder.
“More than anything.”
“Do you want to make your marriage work?”
“As badly as its shot, yes I do.”
“Do you want kids?”
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if I didn’t.” I quickly glanced up and stared into his brown eyes. “Do you still love her?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Your marriage is like mine, right now. Do you want to make it work?”
“And like you, even though it’s rocky, yes I do.”
“Deep inside, I understand what they want to do. I know that only Terri and you are comfortable enough to do this for us. But, I’m worried Howie.”
“What about, beautiful?”
“What if one night isn’t enough for them?”
“Than that’s a stipulation we have to place. If all parties agree, they get one night. They can take those twelve hours and do with as they choose. If after those twelve hours they want more, we file for divorce and they can certainly have each other.” I closed my eyes, trying once more to stop the flow. How did my marriage come to this? What did I do? Or, what didn’t I do?

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I walked to the sliding glass door and saw her resting her head on his shoulder, and it cut me to the core. Yes, I know that sounded like me being a hypocrite, and yes, I probably was one, but I loved her. There was no doubt in my mind. These last couple of days of not having her around proved how I couldn’t live without her. Yet, on that same scale, I know that if I didn’t touch Terri, I would truly lose all chance of having an everlasting love with Theresa. I slowly opened the door, saw them both tense up and hated to disturb the scene.
“Um, may I talk to, Theresa, D?” He quickly glanced in my direction and I cringed, for the umpteenth time tonight. Damn, talking about several deaths in one night.
“It’s okay Howie, I promise I won’t kill him.” Howie placed a kiss on her cheek and I had to turn my head. Hell, that wasn’t even affection and it ate me to the core. Howie walked past, muttering something under his breath, but right now, I just didn’t care. I turned to look at him but he hadn’t glanced back. I saw Theresa get up and walk over to the lounge chairs. “What do you want, Brian?”
“To talk to you, if you don’t mind.” She raised her eyebrow at that and I had to smile.
“About what?”
“Come on, don’t play stupid. You know what about.” I pulled the chair in front of her out and gazed into her eyes.
“What do you want from me Brian? I tired to be your perfect wife, tried to be everything you wanted. Yet, you can’t even do me the honor of lusting after someone I DON’T KNOW. No, it’s has to be my best friend, huh?”
“Do you think I wanted it? Baby, I love you. I want to make you happy, and I love the fact that you have made me happy. You’ve gone to the moon and back.”
“And now you want this?” I grabbed her hand, surprised she didn’t try to pull it away. Absently, I twisted her wedding band. I brought her hand up to my lips and gently kissed the back of it.
“I don’t have the right to ask for more, I know this, Theresa. I feel so selfish, for it’s me wanting all of this, and all the reasons for doing it, are mine alone.”
“I want kids just as much as you do. Although, I am more than willing to adopt.”
“I know, and I’m selfish, ‘cause I’m not. I know there’s nothing I can say other than I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I just feel that I won’t be a great husband if I can’t stop these feelings now.”
“So, stop them. Are they that bad that you have to touch her? That you have to sleep with her?” I turned tortured eyes to her and I saw the tears slip quietly down. Damn it, the last thing I wanted, needed, was to make my wife cry. “Am I not good enough, Brian?” My heart twisted at those quiet words. I feel down to my knees in front of her.
“It’s not you; it’s not you at all. You truly have been the world’s best wife. I can’t explain it, and I’m not sure how it got this bad, but I know that could just be the worst husband if I don’t get this.”