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Chapter 20 (Still in the dream)
“Please don’t start this off that way.”
“I know of no other way. Anyways, let me begin from the start. You recall that night with Terri?”
“Yeah. It felt like yesterday, but I’m guessing it was a while ago.”
“It was. Almost a year and a half. Anyways, we were out, the four of us, when things sorta went awry. Terri and Resa were talking, trying to figure out how to get their friendship back on track when Resa spilled that her and I slept together.”
“YOU SLEPT WITH MY WIFE!?”
“Sit down. Just, don’t talk until I’m done, or this time it’ll be me kicking your ass. Anyways, Resa told Terri that and Terri got all pissed off. She said she was only helping you two out by trying to have a kid. What Resa did was only out of spite. Which, was not true.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Brian, shut it! Really!” Howie rolled his eyes, regretting coming here, but for some reason, he felt compelled to explain all this to Brian. “As I was saying, they sorta got into it, and there was some name calling, and I’m pretty sure Resa slapped Terri. Which, really just ended their friendship, there was no turning back. But, as for you and me, we tried to over come our differences. After all, we had the group; the last thing we wanted to do was split up over some stupid ass thing like this.”
“I wouldn’t call this stupid ass, thank you.”
“BRIAN!” I closed my eyes, trying to keep my mouth shut. “So, they were in a separate room, and we heard them. We tried to get them to stop, to calm down and talk when we were all cool, but you told me that I needed to control my wife. That pushed me past my limit. So, than I yelled back that you were so damn good at that, you should do it. You told me, in front of your wife, if you had another chance, you would take it. Terri, upset that I would say that, and pissed off at Resa, grabbed you, and kissed you. Right after that, she marched over to me and said we were through, that she wanted a divorce. For two days, no one spoke to each other. AJ tried calling the both of us, because we were due in the studio and didn’t come in. I some what explained what was going on, but he said that we needed to work it out. You hated me, I hated you, and how could we work that out?”
“How indeed.”
“So, after a couple more days, Resa said she couldn’t take it anymore, had the papers drawn up. She never really told me why, but Terri said Terri was in love with another man, that’s why she needed out. I always thought it was you, but when you got divorced, and she didn’t marry you, than I wasn’t certain.”
“Resa never said why she left?”
“Jewel mentioned Resa was pregnant, but she wanted nothing to do with you anymore. So, if she was, I don’t know. No one was heard from her or Terri.”
“This is all so strange. Resa knew I wanted kids, why wouldn’t she stay?”
“I’m only getting second hand information. And Jewel isn’t always reliable. But, she said that Resa just didn’t want it anymore. You still wanted Terri and that those 12 hours just wasn’t enough. She refused to go on fighting.”
“Terri was amazing, but I loved Resa. I mean, I still love her. Even after all the stupid shit I do.” Howie could only shrug. “That really doesn’t explain how BSB split.”
“Ah, yes. That was pretty interesting. We were talking, on MTV, something about the greatest top videos. Anyways, we were talking before they were getting ready to air and the two of us were far away from each other. Both of our marriages failed, and it was both of our faults. More so yours, but I won’t go there.” I gritted my teeth, but in all truth and fairness, yes, the blame could land on me. “Anyways, you said that if I knew how to please my wife, she would still be there. And I yelled back that if you could keep your dick in your pants, than we wouldn’t even have this problem. Which, that pissed you off, and than I said it was all your fault because you were an asshole. You screwed your friendship and just royally pissed on your marriage. That got a right hook and I had a black eye for a few days, thank you. But, I didn’t go down without a fight. So, we took a couple swings at each other, Nick was trying to pull you off, and AJ was trying to stop me. But, all of us knew it was pointless. There just wasn’t any help; there wasn’t anything we could do.” I held my head in my hands. It was one flippin ass night, how the hell did THAT turn into THIS! I had no job, no friends, no wife, no kids. Nothing. I ruined my life over 12 hours. Was the sex hot? Yes. But, damn, if the truth be told in all of that, it was missing something. That something would be the connection you feel when you’re making love to the person you love. Not just sex with someone.
“If you hate me some much, why are you here?” Howie paused for a moment before he glanced over at me.
“Bri, you’re one of my brothers. Always have been. Sure, you were stupid, I was stupid. And there was something in your voice over the phone. I felt really bad for you. It’s like you just woke up to this life you have and had no idea what to do or what was going on.”
“I feel like that. I don’t understand it.” Howie shrugged and offered a smile.
“I wish there was something I could do.”
“No one has heard from Resa?”
“Nope. I can only guess she went back home to her mom’s place.”
“Knowing her, yeah, that’s where I would guess too.” I stood up and walked over to the window, staring at the huge backyard with the playground. It would get no use now. I couldn’t remarry, didn’t want to remarry. I knew within that I was a shell of my formal self. I wasn’t the same Brian, and I probably would never be. Resa, she was my life. I regret all those times I had doubted, all those times that someone asked and I hesitated. I know that now, but what’s that saying...it’s a little too late? That sure seemed like it here. I leaned my head against the glass, silently letting the tears slip down my cheeks. I shook my head, knowing it was the truth, yet not wanting to believe it, no, no, NO!...

… “No! It can’t be, NO!”
“Brian!”
“No, no, no!”
“Brian.” I felt someone slap my cheeks, trying to wake me up. I quickly opened my eyes to see Terri sitting on my bed.
“What are you doing here?”
“To actually talk to Resa, but I heard you and it didn’t sound good. Are you okay?” I shifted, realizing the sheet moved and I was now exposing my chest to her gaze. Yet, it didn’t faze me. I just didn’t care at the moment. What a turn around!