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Chapter 8
“Howie, hey, I hate to bother you, but do you mind coming over? No, you don’t, great thanks.” I quickly hung up my cell phone and tossed it on the couch. Damn it, my life was falling apart and I had no way to get it back together. Brian claimed he loved me, that he wouldn’t leave me, but how could I fight with an all consuming passion. Granted, that was not what it was now, but that’s what it would be when you couldn’t have that which you wanted. I ran my hands through my hair, not having any idea about what to do, which is why I called Howie. Maybe, between the two of us, we could figure out something.
“Resa, you here?” I turned around at Howie’s voice, saw his troubled, yet concerned gorgeous brown eyes, and ran into his arms. He wrapped those oh-so-amazing arms around my waist and pressed his lips against my hair. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” I mumbled against his shoulder. Slowly, I pulled away and looked at him. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. I figured that you need a friend when you called. Figured you needed a shoulder to cry on too. Now, you wanna explain why you needed all of this though?” I walked out of the circle of his arms and at once felt the loss and the coldness. I sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to me.
“Have you talked to Terri?” He sighed and sat down.
“Not really. She seems distant. I try to touch her, kiss her, hold her hand, and she pulls away. That’s not like her at all. Usually, she longs and craves my affections.”
“Brian, well, no, he’s not the same. That night after dinner, we came home and made love, but it was almost bittersweet. And he’s always kissing me, which is something he’s never done. I mean, not like this.”
“What do you make of it?”
“Brian told me that, yes, he thought Terri was amazing, that a part of him lusted for her.”
“Son of a bitch!”
“But when I talked to Jewel, just a few moments ago, she said Terri called it passion. And we both know that passion burns until you satisfy it.” With that, Howie jumped off the couch and let out a string of curses.
“Why? Why does it have to by my wife that he wants? Doesn’t it matter that I have passion for her?” I sat back on the couch, feeling so hurt, so betrayed and oddly enough, so lonely. Hell, everyone wanted her, but what about me? I couldn’t even keep my own husbands passion blazing. “I don’t get it. I don’t understand.”
“Do you love her?” Howie quickly turned around and glanced at me.
“Damn, what is this doing to you?” I shrugged and looked away, but felt the couch move as he sat back down. “Look at me.” I slowly turned and smiled.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. What are you thinking?”
“That everyone wants her, longs for her and I never felt more alone. You love and adore your wife, you still long to take her in your arms, but who longs to love me? Hell, not even my husband, if we are being honest.”
“You can not think that way! Look at you Theresa, you are all around amazing.”
“Amazing does not make other people have passion.” I felt his hand on my shoulder right before I felt his lips press against mine. Some where, deep inside, this felt so wonderful, and so right. I moaned, wrapping my arms around his neck, bringing his body tighter against my body. Damn, those lips felt so good, his body felt so right, but in the back of my mind, I could hear that voice screaming at me that this was so wrong. I felt the tears flowing and so did he. He pulled way, looking at me, watching me.
“I’ve had many women do many different things when I kiss them, but crying is a first.” I had to smile at that.
“I enjoyed that Howie.”
“Yeah, I did too.”
“And we shouldn’t have. Just because Terri and Brian kiss, or want more, or whatever, doesn’t give us the right to hurt them.” His hand cupped my cheek, wiping away the tears.
“I truly hope Brian sees what an outstanding wife he has before it’s too late.”