It's In Me
Definitely not the first thing Nick had expected off the man’s mouth, but it did sum up the situation perfectly. The man is fucked and Nick, he was just plain pissed.
“Is that all you gotta say man?” He asked instead, because seriously, he deserved a damn well explanation.
“Well, what else can I say Nicky, you caught me with my hands in the cookie jar bro.”
His hair was cropped short, like a military man in the midst of battle. Even in the shadow he could see the grease and sweat on his unshaven face, specks of day old bruises and newly acquired ones mish mashed across his face. Those green eyes though, they greeted him like an old friend.
“That sawed off looks nothing like a cookie jar to me.” Or that shovel. And that can of rock salt.
“You’re not supposed to take it literally.” The man rolled his eyes and took a step closer, coming out of the shadows and smack right into the ray of light that divided and distanced them. Dust moved around him like fake snows in globes.
He smelled of wet mud and decay.
Nick knew this was the last place for a confrontation but he couldn’t seem to stop. Not now, when everything seemed to be bursting at the seams, fighting with each other for escape.
“You’re looking good there Nicky,” he continued, offered a warm smile that seemed misplaced on his scarred face. “I read the article and that topless picture of you man, you look like Mr. Per-“
“You’re gonna be dead in the next few minutes, I saw it myself.”
He took a step back, part of his face hidden behind the shadows again. Licked his lips, wiping the small trail of blood that was on its way.
“I thought you lost your psychic visions.”
“Well it’s back, and isn’t it convenient that the first one I had was of you dead, Kevin.”
There was a flash of lightning followed by a clap of thunder before the hut creaked and groaned, bringing Nick back to the situation at hand; to the reason why he was here in the first place.
And then something unexpected happened. Something the vision didn’t show him.
A scream sliced through the air. And it was of the ghostly variety.
“You’ve mentioned that earlier.”
“Well apparently a salt and burn doesn’t cut it!” Kevin snapped. “We gotta scram and recon this whole mission.”
Nick wanted to say that this wasn’t some military exercise the man’s fooling around with but there’s a ghost and a collapsing hut wanting to take them out so another round of confrontation just didn’t seem like a good idea.
Scram it will be then.
“You drive a monster truck with a hidden compartment that stores ammo. You checked into motels under aliases and have fake IDs.”
“Is there a point to this?” Kevin asked distractedly as he looked through a pile of loose papers in his hands.
“Kevin, you’re not a hunter.”
“I don’t know about that,” Kevin smirked. “I beheaded a vampire last month, exorcised a demon some two weeks ago and fried a rawhead a week after that.”
“Since when do you speak latin and whatever the hell is rawhead anyway?” Nick couldn’t help asking. It sounded like something that could come off in a video game.
“Since months ago; and I don’t really know. Sam told me electricity will fry the damn thing, that’s exactly what I did.” Kevin shrugged nonchalantly.
“Did I mention I dig up a grave and salt and burn a bitch tonight? But the damn thing refused to just stay dead and I need to figure out why before she kills another kid.” Kevin countered before pausing from whatever it was he was reading and looked up. “I don’t know about you but that sounds like a hunter to me.”
“Wait, Sam called you?”
“They don’t really have the Idiot’s guide to hunting Supernatural things at Barnes.” Kevin shrugged.
“But that last call was a job favor, apparently he didn’t want anything to do with rawheads, never said why though.”
Nick sighed in frustration. This whole thing was a huge mess.
“Kevin,” Nick said slowly, controlling himself from blowing up and getting this whole situation out of control. “You’re an ex-backstreet boy, a husband, a father. You have a family back home who is clueless to what you’re doing right at this moment.”
“I believe John Winchester was once just that too,” Kevin replied, equally calmly. “Except maybe not the ex-backstreet boy part.”
“And where is he now Kev?”
That got Kevin’s full attention. He placed the papers back on the table and rose to his full height.
“Who do you think I’m doing this for Nick? I know what’s out there, I know what they’re capable of doing. I can stop it.”
“You’re no good to them if you die.”
“I don’t plan on dying.”
“You’re most likely dead by now if I hadn’t had a vision about it!”
“Well then I’m lucky I have you on my side right?”
And that was it. He had enough.
“I have demon blood in me Kevin. I don’t know if I’m doomed for damnation when I’m dead. I wake up every morning wondering if today is the day I’ll finally give in and unleash this…this evil inside of me. There is nothing lucky about this!”
Kevin shook his head and sighed heavily. He made his way to the edge of the single bed and slumped down heavily. He cracked the joints on his fingers and then rubbed his face in frustration.
“When I was possessed by that demon,” he started, voice almost too soft for Nick to hear. “I couldn’t do anything to stop it. It was my hands, my voice, my legs but I couldn’t control any of them. I woke up at night wondering what will happen if I had killed you, the guys.”
Nick made his way across the room, hesitated only a second before planting himself next to him on the bed. The couple in the next room was going at it like ravages and it was funny only it wasn’t.
“That wasn’t you, Kev.”
“I was still there! I saw everything, feel every single thing! But I was helpless.” Kevin sighed. “And let me tell you Nicky, it’s the worst feeling in the world, being helpless and out of control.”
“I still don’t understand why you’re doing this.”
“I need to know I’m in control, that I have a choice.” Kevin explained. It sounded so simple and yet so complicated. “I know what’s out there, I know how to stop them before they find their way to my family one of these days.”
“Kristin knows about this little hobby of yours?”
“We’ve never talked about it, but I believe she does. At least a rough idea of it.” Kevin smiled.
“And she’s okay about this?”
“No, I don’t think she’s okay with it.” Kevin shook his head. “But she lets it happen because this is all for Mason.”
Kevin only hunts on weekends. On weekdays, he was the regular husband with a job who pays the bills. He made sure he has a father and son time everyday and made the effort to do the nasty like changing of diapers. He left silly comments on the backstreet boys’ twitter page under silly aliases and went out for dinner with his backstreet brothers every once in a blue moon.
Nick was finding it hard to separate the two Kevin but he figured he had to.
Sam had told him once that no hunter ever got into this life voluntarily. We all have been touched by the supernatural one way or another. You’re never quite the same after that.
He also remember quite fondly, in a twisted way, how Dean had finished off his brother’s thoughts. And then you either blow your brains out or you become a hunter, kill every evil sons of bitches out there and hope to be home by dinner.
“I’m still not okay with this Kev.”
“I’m not asking you to understand.”
“Oh trust me, I understand.” Nick scoffed. “I’m the kid with the demon blood remember?”
“Ah yes.” Kevin nodded. “Listen to me, what I’m going to say next is very, very important and I want you to remember this for as long as you live, ok?”
“With a warning like that, how can I not?”
Kevin smiled; the kind of smile that Nick remembered fondly of the old guy. The kind of smile that tells him how proud he is of his brothers.
“Good, because here’s the thing…I was there when you were busy doing your growing up and every time you did something either good or bad, I always tell you that you only have yourself to thank or to blame for your actions. Ultimately, it’s your choice. I have seen nothing evil in you Nick and if you think this demon blood is going to fuck you up, then you’re wrong.”
Nick had a good rebut to this but apparently Kevin wasn’t done talking.
“Fine, the demon blood means you have some kind of demonic whatever in you, but it cannot make you do things, it can only give you the extra edge to do it. It’s easier said than done I know, but I believe that at the end of the day, it’s still yours to decide what to do. Unless some demon is possessing you or some witch got you under her spell, you have a choice.”
Nick missed this. Only Kevin can make him feel like a five year old who is protected and sheltered away from the bad things in life.
Even now, in a random motel room with bad tv reception, an air con that churns noisily every five seconds and the horny couple next door who are probably going to be the cause of that hideous painting to drop off the wall…
He came here tonight thinking he had to save his brother. Well, okay, so he did just that. But he knew he was going home knowing that he needed saving and Kevin was there to do just that.
“Know what I’ve decided?” Nick said, a small smile already forming at the corner of his mouth.
“I’ll bite.” Kevin smirked. “What?”
“Tonight I’ve decided that I’m gonna spend my weekend with my older brother.”
“As much as I love to hang out with you buddy, I’m sorry we can’t get you the happy meal breakfast you want tomorrow. My undead spirit is still out there and likely to kill another innocent kid soon.”
It was a full moon and Nick wondered if somewhere out there, a hunter was busy chasing down a werewolf. That would have been an awesome hunt. He’d always wanted to fire a silver bullet. Perhaps when the next full moon arises and another weekend arrives…
“Well, what are we waiting for? We’ve got a job to do.”