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GARDEN CONVERSATION - CHAPTER SIX

December 16, 2007

Children’s Hospital Los Angelas



Keeping my head down and my hands stuffed in my pockets, I made my way back to my babies room. I woke up this morning feeling better than I ever have before. I actually woke up with a smile on my face. Before I hardly ever did. When I reached the door, my phone vibrated in my pocket making me jump. I pulled my phone out with the tips of my fingers and glanced at the caller. It was BJ. I quickly answered it.

“Yes?” I said calmly into the phone.

“Hello! How you doing?” BJ said a little bit loudly. I pulled the phone away from my ear for a second then slowly placed it back.

“Trying to hear.”

“What?”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, “Nothing, Beejee. What’s up?”

“Well, Ginger, Angel, and I just got finished getting all the furniture for CJ’s new room and----”

“Wait…you guys are already doing that? I wanted to do that.” I told her.

“Aaron, we’ve been getting stuff since yesterday. And when did you want to start getting her stuff? You didn’t tell us that you wanted too”

“Um…I guess I was just thinking about it.” I said pressing my lips together.

“Okay. Well, anyways I just--we just wanted to know if you wanted to join us. Help us out a little. If you can spare the time.”

I shook my head, “CJ’s here. I don’t want to leave her.” I heard BJ sigh on the other end.

“Aaron, she’ll be fine. Let her rest and you can come out and help us pick out some toys.”

“Whoa wait a minute, should we wait on the toys? I mean we should make sure what she likes.” I said to her. I peaked through the window to CJ’s room and saw her sitting up in bed writing something in her notebook. Hmm, well she likes to write.

“Aaron, she’s three.”

“So?”

“She can’t be that picky, little brother.” BJ laughed. I groaned softly, switching my cell to my other ear.

“Just to be safe okay. Please?”

“Fine.”

“Good. Look I’m going to go talk to her some more, see what she likes. Haven’t got the chance to do that yet.”

“Why?”

“She sleeps most of the time. I’ll call you back later.”

“Alright see ya.” I closed my phone when I heard the dial tone. I looked back through the window once more before slowly opening the door. I quietly closed the door behind me, placing my phone back in my pocket. CJ put down her pencil and smiled up at me.

“Hi daddy.” She said sweetly

“Hey baby.” I said, my heart fluttering at the sound of her voice. I sat down on the bed next to her. I moved my fingers slowly through her blond hair, getting the few tangles that lingered in her hair from this morning.

“What are you doing?” I asked her. She shut her notebook and put it back down on the her nightstand.

“Just writing a few things.”

“You like to write?” She nodded and snuggled closer to me, “What do you like to write?”

“I like to write short stories and at times I write poems, too.”

I raised my eyebrows in astonishment. “Really now?” She nodded, “Wow, that’s cool. What are your stories about?”

CJ shrugged against me, “Uh….like fairytales mostly. The princess and the prince. The princess is me of course.” She said with a smile.

I chuckled, “You’re my princess.”

CJ smiled cheekily and wrapped her arms around me, “Yes I am.”

We were both silent for a few minutes. I held her close, feeling her little heart beat against mine. I could feel the tears start to form in my eyes again. I haven’t cried all day and thought I was doing pretty good at keeping it all in. A tear managed to escape my eye. I never knew how it felt to be a daddy until it suddenly happened. I can’t believe I am holding the most beautiful thing I have ever created in my arms right now. That is why I cry. She’s perfect beyond imagination. She’s smart…good lordy is she smart. She’s three years old and she knows how to write, and glancing at her penmanship, I felt dumbfounded. My baby is way beyond her years.

“Daddy?” I heard her say quietly. I flicked the one single tear resting on my cheek away with my finger.

“Hmm?”

She lifted her tiny head up and looked up at me. I stared into her beautiful brown eyes, a warming smile plastered on my face.

“You’re like my knight in shining armor that came to rescue me.” I smiled at those words as another tear escaped my eye. I placed small kisses on her head, breathing in the sweet smell of her shampoo.

“Baby, would you like to go out into the garden?” I asked her.

“Yes!” She rushed out, pulling herself out of my embrace and sliding out of bed, “I haven’t been outside since I’ve been here. I’ve seen the garden from my window, but no one hasn’t taken me out there.” She said, quickly putting her shoes on. Once she had her shoes on, my baby hopped back over to me and swung her arms around my legs.

“Daddy, I’m feeling so much better. When can I go home again?” She asked. I smiled and knelt down to her height, pulling her into my arms.

“Soon. I promise.” I whispered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, “Ready?” She nodded, her little eyes twinkling with excitement. I picked her up in my arms, her bottom resting comfortably on my hip. I turned off the light to her room and then headed outside to the hospitals garden.

****

I checked with the nurses to make sure it was okay for me to take CJ outside to the garden. After I got the okay, I took her hand and led her through the double doors into the garden. I allowed her to run in front of me a bit, while I followed her down the marble pathways. The garden is breathtaking. Many different colors of roses filled the air with their sweet smell. A beautiful water fall stood right in the middle of the garden. The water sparkled like a thousand diamonds. I was so mesmerized with the waterfall I didn’t seem to notice where CJ ran off too. I whirled around scanning the area. I spotted her a few feet down the path sitting down on a bench. She was looking at me with a grin. I quickly walked over to her and scooped her up in my arms, swinging her around. Her laugh made my heart flutter and my smile grow bigger. I sat down on the bench, cradling her on my lap.

“Daddy…” CJ started to say as she wiggled out of my grasp. I let her go, so she could climb off my lap. She crossed the path and pointed to a flower, “What kind of flower is this?”

I stood up and looked at the flower she was pointing at. “I think it might be a Lily.”

“Aw, it’s pretty.”

“Yeah, it is. Now if you ask me what other flowers are here besides roses, I couldn’t tell you.” I said laughing. She giggled, lifting her arms up so I can pick her up. I picked her and placed a quick kiss on her cheek.

“Maybe later we can look up and see what other kinds of flowers there are. I’m curious…” I sat back down on the bench, CJ on my lap.

“I think it’s time for daddy to get to know his little girl some more. So I’m going to ask some more questioners, okay.” I told her. She nodded and smiled.

“Okay papa! Shoot.” She said, fingering the rose she had in her hand.

“Okay you like to write, which is very impressive.” I said chuckling, “What else do you like to do?”

CJ lifted up her head, her little mouth open a bit like she was thinking to herself. I nuzzled my nose against her cheek making her giggle. I guess it must have tickled her a bit.

“I like to read.”

My eyes widened, “Really?” Holy crap….she can read???

“Yup! And I taught myself.” She said, returning to her rose.

“Wow. I am shocked.” I whispered.

She looked up at me, “Why?”

I shook my head, “Because I have the most intelligent daughter.” She smiled, “What else can you do, that I couldn’t do when I was your age?”

She giggled, “I like to color and draw.”

“What do you like to draw?”

CJ shrugged her shoulders, “Anything mostly. Lets see….this flower!” She lifted the rose she had in her hand and showed it to me. I nodded intrigued, “I can draw this flower if I wanted to. It’ll be a bad picture though.” She said laughing.

“At least you try, that’s the most important thing.”

“Yeah.”

“So you draw anything your eyes land on, huh?”

“Yup. But that’s some of the time. Most of the time I draws what I make up.”

I nodded, “That’s pretty good. What is your favorite colors?” I asked her.

“Let me see…I like blue and red. Orange and….purple. I like green but it has to be a certain kind of green. It can’t be dark green or a really light green. It has to be the right kind. Just green.” I laughed as she kept going on, “Like this kind of green.” She reached down and ran her fingers over the beautiful green grass below the bench we’re sitting on.

“Ah, I see.”

She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, “I think that is it.”

“Okay, what is your all time favorite color above all the other colors you like?”

“Red.” She quickly said without hesitation. I laughed out loud, holding her tighter against me.

“Red is my favorite color too.” She looked up at me and then pulled herself up so she was straddling my lap.

“Daddy, we’re goings to get along just fine.” Once again I laughed out loud, but at the same time it sounded like a sob as well. CJ rested her forehead against mine, her chocolate brown eyes slamming into mine.

“What’s wrong?” She whispered or better yet….mouthed it. I blinked and pulled away.

“I’m fine, sweet pea.” I said.

“Then why are you crying?“ I closed my eyes slowly when she put her hand on my cheek. I placed my hand on top of hers and gently kissed her tiny fingers.

“I’m crying for the same reason I was yesterday.” I whispered, leaning forward and resting my forehead back up against hers. I took a deep breath and wiped my tear away.

“What else do you like? Any specific toys you like?” I asked her. She looked down and slowly shook her head.

“No….” She said, looking back up. Her eyes were sad for a minute, then they brightened up again, “But I do like anything that is fluffy, soft and stuffed with….stuff.”

I chuckled, “Teddy bears?”

She shrugged, “Sure. But mainly….I loves, loves, loves monkeys!”

My eyes lit up. “You like monkeys?” She nodded, excitedly, “So do I! Your in luck baby, because I have a whole lot of monkeys back at home.”

“Cool!”

“But---” I said putting a finger up to her, playfully of course, “You can’t tell anyone, because it’ll ruin my reputation.” I told her, smiling warmly. My baby giggled and threw her arms around my neck.

*********

We walked around the garden for a little while longer chit chatting away, until Catherine came out and told me that CJ had to be back in her room. My baby protested of course, saying she didn’t want to go. She said she could live in the garden if she had her way. I couldn’t help just to smile to myself. I took her hand and walked her back to her room. When we entered, CJ ran up to her bed and jumped up on it. She bounced up and down a couple of times before landing on her bottom. I smirked to myself, making my way to her small dresser beside the bed. I pulled out some light pink Barbie pajamas and got her dressed.

“Daddy, I don’t likes it here. I wish we could stay in the garden a little bit longer. We weren’t even there for that long.”

I chuckled, pulling her arm through the last sleeve. “Baby, we were there longer than you think. And by the way, you have a bed time. Princesses need their beauty sleep.” I told her. She smiled from ear to ear. She stood up on the bed and hugged me tightly. A small knock came at the door and Catherine poked her head in.

“Oh oops, sorry. Am I ruining a tender moment?” Catherine said shyly, pulling her head back slightly behind the door.

“Oh no you didn’t. What’s up?” I said, pulling the covers back and letting CJ slide her tiny frame underneath.

“Can I speak to you for a second?” Catherine asked me. I looked at her silently, then looked back down at my baby. I patted her tummy, making her wiggle underneath the blankets.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be out there in a minute.” I told her. Catherine nodded and stepped back out into the hall way.

“Baby, I’m going to go talk to Catherine for a minute and then I’ll be back to tuck you in, okay?” CJ nodded, resting her head comfortably on the pillow. I squeezed her hand gently and then headed out into the hallway so Catherine can talk to me.

“Hey, Catherine. You wanted to talk?” I said, closing the door behind me. Catherine pushed herself off from the wall she was leaning on. She uncrossed her arms and placed them in her pockets.

“First of all, call me Cat. Catherine makes me feel like I’m sixty.” She said laughing a bit. I smiled and nodded, “First things first, CJ will be released at noon tomorrow, so you can tell her the good news. I know she’s been getting a little edgy lately and so ready to go home with you.” Cat told me.

“Yeah, she’s already asked me twice when she can go home.”

Cat laughed, running her right hand threw her blond hair, “You know Aaron, to be absolutely honest with you, if we couldn’t find you or whoever CJ’s father was, I seriously would have maybe…adopted her.”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and looked down, a smile appearing on my face, “Really?” I said glancing up at Cat. She nodded, and then put her hand on my shoulder. I looked up just as she gave me a warm hug. I hugged her back.

“I honestly have never seen such a beautiful little girl before. I prayed so hard that her daddy was out there and that we would find him. We did and I’m glad it’s you.” She whispered into my ear as we held each other. She pulled back to look at me but kept her arms around me, “You are so lucky to have a daughter like her. When I have my own daughter I wish she could be just like CJ.” With my finger I quickly wiped the tear that just about slipped from my eye. I gently took her hands in mine.

“Thank you so much for taking care of her.” I said. The tears in my eyes gave away. I let out a silent sob and threw my arms around her neck.

“Now it’s your turn.” She said hugging me tightly. I took a deep breath and quickly released it.

“Oh yeah.” I chuckled a bit

“Are you ready?”

I blinked a couple times. That question felt like it was stamped on my forehead. Yet again I drew in a deep breath but this time I held it for a few seconds then slowly let it back out. I pulled away from Cat far enough where I was looking at her face. I went to answer the question but stopped as I kept looking at her. Cat was a very striking woman. Her eyes were the prettiest blue I have ever seen. I almost felt intimidated by her. I was so busy staying and talking with my baby girl that I hardly even noticed Cat. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen has been here the whole time and I never noticed her until now. Gaw, what being a father does to a guy. Especially someone like me! I’m a ladies man. My eyes are never on one girl at once.

“Aaron?”

“Yeah…” I said. Instantly, I realized how I just said that. Geez, I must have looked like a complete moron with that helplessly in love kind of look I just had on my face. She must think I’m an idiot now. I blinked and shook my head, “Yes. Yes?” I said mentally kicking myself. Two yeses?? One was good enough, dork!

“It’s time for lights out for princess in there.” She quietly told me. I closed my eyes and nodded. My eyes suddenly popped open when I realized that I haven’t answered her question.

“Yeah, I know. I need to go tuck her in here pretty soon, but um…yes I am ready.” I told her. Her eyes lit up as she smiled. I smiled back, my heart smiling as well, “But….I can wait when she becomes a teenager.” I said while turning back toward the door. I rested my hand on the door handle for a second then turned back to Cat. I caught her walking a few paces down the hall.

“Cat?” I called out. She turned around and walked back over to me.

“Yes?”

I shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, “Um…I was just wondering if….would you like to have dinner with me sometime?” I asked her watching her expression closely. She gave me a light smile and put her hand on my arm.

“Aaron, you are a good guy. But I’m seeing someone at the moment.” She sweetly said to me.

I blushed and looked down, “Oh.” I said. I shifted back to my other foot then looked back up at her, “I’m sorry I just--I don’t know why I assumed---”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. It’s okay. But I will take a rain check on that dinner though. We can go as just friends.”

I grinned and nodded, “Yeah of course. I would love that.”

“Great.” She smiled, “I’ll give you my number tomorrow when you check CJ out, then maybe we can talk about when we can do it because I am booked for the rest of the week.” She said shrugging her shoulders

“Okay then.” I said. She lightly squeezed my arm and began to walk back down the hall. She started to slow her pace. As she did she began to turn back toward me.

“Um, Aaron…” She began. Smiling, I lifted my eyebrows but didn’t say anything, “I’ll be around whenever you need a baby sitter for CJ.” She said winking.

I chuckled, “Okay. Thank you.”

“Yup.” She smiled and continued down the hall. I leaned my head back against the wall, letting out a loud sigh. I turned the door knob and began to step back into the room. But as I was opening the door I heard a commotion coming from the other side of the door. It sounded like tiny little feet scurrying across the floor. I frowned, swinging the door open all the way and walking in a couple of steps. Just as I came in, I saw CJ sitting up in bed with a huge cheesy smile on her face. I narrowed my eyes at her and slowly closed the door behind me.

“Little girl….” I said walking over to the bed.

“That’s what I am, daddy. A little bitty girl.” She said still cheesing. I climbed up on the bed and stuck my face in hers.

“Were you listening?”

CJ gapped, “Of course not, daddy. Why would you think of such a thing?”

“Christina.” I said firmly.

“Yes?” For crying out loud, she is still cheesing. This little one was eaves dropping I know it!

“You little terd, you were listening.” I said as I started to tickle her. She started to giggle uncontrollably and tried her best to squirm away, but I was too fast for her.

“Admit it and I’ll stop.” I told her, my fingers still working at her tummy.

“Okay, I was listening!” She shouted. I suddenly stopped tickling her and hovered over her.

“Now that’s not fair, you’re not suppose to give up that fast.”

CJ panted hard, her chest rising up and down. She tilted her head and looked up at me, “Now why would I wants to do thats?” I chuckled moving away from her. I lifted up the covers and motioned her under them. CJ quickly slide under then and I tucked the blankets around her tightly. I then laid down beside her, propping myself up with my right hand and resting on my elbow.

“So what did Cat want?” She asked quietly. I gazed at her.

“I thought you were listening.”

CJ shook her head, “No. I came in at the end.”

I blinked a couple of times, picking at my nails, “She told me that you’ll be able to go home tomorrow around lunch time.” I told her. CJ’s eyes immediately lit up with excitement.

“Yay!” She squealed. She then threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly, “Yay, yay, yay, yay, yaaay!” I laughed and put my excited baby back down on her fluffy pillow.

“Don’t get too over excited. You need to go to sleep.” I told her. She was calm almost immediately but her eyes still glistened in the light.

“Are you going to stay with me, daddy?” She asked me. I took a deep breath while gazing lovingly at her. I sat up, then moved a piece of hair that had fallen in her eyes.

“Not tonight.”

“Why?” She asked quietly.

“You need a room to sleep in right?” She nodded, “Well, I have to go home and make sure you do.” I bent down and gave her tender lingering kiss on the forehead.

“Okay. But what if I haves another nightmare while you’re gone?”

“If that happens you can just hit this button right here, “I said reaching over and pulling on the call light beside her bed, “And one of the nurses will come in and assist you. All you have to do is tell them that you want me and they’ll give me a call and I’ll be right back over here. No matter what the time is. Okay?”

Nodding, she reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck, “I loves you daddy. Goodnight.”

“I love you too baby.” I whispered softly in her ear, holding her tightly against me. I loosened my grip and let her fall back onto her pillows. She closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into the blankets. Getting up, I grabbed my jacket from the chair, flipped off the light and quietly slipped out of the room, closing the door gently behind me. Taking the elevator back down to the first floor, I pulled out my phone and gave BJ a quick call, giving her all the information I said I was going to get for her. After I was finished speaking with my sister, I spoke to the night nurse about calling me on my cell if CJ ever needed me over the night. The nurse said she would gladly keep an eye out on CJ and call me if she needed to. I thanked her and walked out into the cold December night.