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IF YOU ONLY KNEW - CHAPTER NINE

“I believe I can flyyyyyy! I believe I can touch the skyyyy!” Nick sang happily as he skipped up the sidewalk and glided through the front door.
“I think about it every night and day--yo, where’s my niece?” He called out, closing the door behind him. I looked down at my Christi and gave her a warm smile and kiss, before motioning her out into the hallway. She stopped short of the hallway entrance and turned back toward me with a questioning look.

“It’s Uncle Nick.” I whispered, urging her to on. CJ smirked the kind of smirk only a Carter could portray. As she bounced out into the hallway, the rest of us slowly got up and followed.

When Nick saw CJ step in front of him, his heart melted. His jacket slipped from his grasp and made it’s home on the floor. Nick couldn’t find his words as he stared at the most prettiest little girl he had ever seen.

“Oh my sweet Jesus.” Nick finally muttered out, as he fell to his knees. Nick couldn’t seem to build enough strength to walk himself over to her. He opened his arms and CJ ran into them in an instant.

“Hi, Uncle Nicky.” CJ whispered against his chest. Nick grunted, but smiled, tasting his tears as they dripped onto his lips. CJ pulled away slightly and lifted her head, “Do you not want me to call you that?” She asked.

Nick chuckled and tucked a piece of blond hair behind her ear, “No, you’re the only one that can call me that.” CJ smiled and reached up to kiss a tear away on her Uncle Nick’s cheek. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Nick hoisted CJ up on his hip and stood up. He walked over to me and placed his hand on the back of my head, as he looked me in the eye. I wanted him so say something, but I was welcomed with silence. Nick just stared at me. Then I realized that he didn’t need to say anything. His eyes screamed at me, telling me not to screw this up. I nodded, letting him know that I understood what he wasn’t telling me. Nick flashed me a warming smiled and ruffled my hair, playfully.

I sighed and pulled CJ out of Nick’s arms. “Let me tell you something Nick, this is the one thing I’m not going to screw up on.”

Nick shrugged. “I didn’t say anything.”

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“Alright then, “ Nick said, snatching CJ back and placing her back on his hip. “All you have to do now little brother is to prove it.” Nick said in a hush whisper, careful not to confuse CJ in anyway. I flinched like he suddenly slapped me. I lowered my eyes, feeling like the failure that everyone knew I was. I knew my own brother wouldn’t have faith in me. How stupid could I be to think he did anyway? Screw this, I’m not going to prove shit to anyone. I know I’m going to be a good father…no matter what.

After awhile I was standing in the hallway alone, feeling numb and completely helpless. When Nick tries to make a point, he hits a nerve every time and always makes me feel like shit. I know Nick means well, but he has a weird way of showing the love.

“Aaron, come see CJ’s room!” Angel called out to me. I pulled myself together and wondered into her room, where everyone else was sitting around, taking in the beautiful ray of colors that made up my baby’s room. I smiled to myself, feeling pretty good about my work, oh, and my sisters work too. I flopped down on the bed and grabbed a stuffed monkey off the pillow and hugged it tightly. CJ came bouncing over and jumped into my lap, pulling the monkey away from me so she can hug it too.

“Daddy, I loves my room! I love the red walls and rainbows lining the tops of it. And I love the monkeys too.” She squealed in delight, holding the monkey even tighter. I laughed and kissed the top of her head.

“I am so glad you love it baby.” I gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek and then rested my head on her shoulder, breathing in her sweet scent.

“Hey CJ, look at this.” BJ said, bending down in front of her and holding a small box in her hand. BJ opened the lid to the box and slipped out another box. This time it was made of brass and it was round. CJ took the box from BJ and held it with both hands.

“It sure is heavy.” CJ said quietly, eyeing the beautiful engraving on the top.

BJ nodded and sat Indian style in front of her, “Open it up.”

CJ ran her fingers over the top of the box and slowly lifted the sides, pulling the lid up straight. Her eyes lit up and the sound of gasps were heard from the others. Inside the box a small Angel lifted up from inside, giving off a brilliant sparkle of white and gold, with the instrumental sound of shout to the Lord playing in the background.

I was mesmerized by the beautiful sight that played before my eyes. I swallowed, my throat aching. “BJ, where did you get that?” I asked.

“I saw it in the window at this Christian bookstore as I was coming back from the hospital the other day. Once I saw it, it reminded me so much of CJ.” I squeezed BJ’s shoulder graciously and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“BJ, that is absolutely beautiful.” Ginger said sitting down next to me and taking in the music box’s powerful essence.

BJ slowly took the box out of CJ’s hand and placed it on the bedside table, “Whenever you can’t sleep or you feel alone, open this beauty up and may all your worries go away.” CJ looked up with watery eyes and slipped the music box back into her lap. As soon as the tears surfaced, the sobs came soon after. I frowned and pulled her legs up to where I was cradling her in my arms.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” I whispered, covering her face with kisses. She buried her face into my neck while her hand held on tightly to her Auntie BJ’s.

“Nothing. It’s just---it’s…” She trailed off and continued to cry.

“This might all be too overwhelming for her.” Nick mentioned, “I mean she’s never had any of this before. No presents, no love, nothing.”

“I never thought I would haves anything.” CJ mumbled against my shirt. I shook my head and started to cry along with her.

“A three year old shouldn’t be saying that.” Leslie whispered to Nick. Leslie sniffled, leaning into Nicks chest as he put his arm around her.

“I know.” Nick whispered.

“I’m going to give you the whole world.” I whispered softly in her ear. CJ yawned quietly, as she wrapped her arms around my neck and snuggled closer to me. I felt her nod her head against my shoulder. I looked up and motioned everyone out of the room. They left without a word.

“Tired?” I asked her. She nodded again and I could see that she was getting close to falling asleep in my arms. I pulled the covers back and gently slid her underneath the covers. I placed a tender kiss on her forehead and then opened the lid to her new music box so the music could sooth her. As I was getting up to leave, I was pulled back down from the tug of her hand.

“Yes, baby?”

“Will you take a nap with me?” She asked, her eyes closed and her breathing calm. Before I could answer her, I heard my phone start to ring from the other room.

“Of course I will. But I’ll be right back, I have to go answer my phone.” I kissed her one more time and then raced out of the room. I skidded into the living room, where Nick and Ginger stood talking. From what I could hear, Nick was complaining about the weather. I wouldn’t blame him. It’s been very cold today. Even a little mouse could tell that wasn’t normal for California, even in the winter.
I picked up my phone and glanced at the caller ID. I groaned loudly and flipped it open.

“What wrong?” Nick asked, when he heard me groan.

I put up a finger to hush him. “Hello?” I said into the phone. Nick rolled his eyes and turned back to Ginger.

“Aaron?” A female voice came from the other end.

“Yes, Kim what do you need?” I said, feeling a little annoyed. When Kim Clarkson calls it only means one thing. I have to work. And to sum up about who Kim Clarkson is, well, she’s my boss. And no not my nursing home boss, my boss at the restaurant I work at. Oh, I didn’t mention I have two side jobs? My bad.
I work at the KOI Restaurant across the street from the Roosevelt Hotel in Beverly Hills. I don’t work very often, only about two or three days out of the week, but when I do the deli and the bar part is my territory. I don’t work the floor and I’m glad I don’t. Crazy doesn’t really sum that place up although I don’t know why, crazy says it all.

“You sound cheery.” Kim joked. I chuckled a little, switching my cell to my other ear, “Are you busy Monday?” She continued.

“Besides spending time with my daughter, no not really.” I answered.

“Daughter? When did that happen?”

“Almost four years ago. I’ll talk to you later about it. So who’s not showing up?”

“Daisy, her father’s in the hospital, he had some kind of accident today.”

“Phil? Is he okay?”

“She hasn’t said anything about it. Anyway, Barry called in sick, Trish is on vacation, and Troy is in Florida visiting his girlfriend for the weekend and he won‘t be back until Tuesday.” Kim said, groaning, “Can’t you tell I’m a little bit annoyed right now?” Kim asked chuckling a bit.

I smiled, “So I’m the only one left?”

“Yup. Aaron, please I really need you tomorrow, and it’ll be call-in.”

I sighed heavily. “Okay. I’ll come in.” I told her.

“Thank you so much.”

“Kim, you know I’ll work anyway. You never have to beg too much.”

“That’s why you are my favorite employee.” Kim laughed.

“Don’t let anyone else hear you say that. Do you know how fast I’ll be put in the meat grinder?” I said, slowly pulling the phone away from my ear and focusing more on the TV.

I heard Kim chuckle again. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Aaron.”

“Yeah…” I mumbled, “See ya.” I flipped my phone shut. I grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned the volume up.

“Ginger, I’m not kidding you, the temperature gage in my truck said it’s 40 freaking degrees outside. This is California, that is crazy. I know it’s the wintertime but it doesn’t get that damn cold.” Nick said. I reached behind me and grabbed him by the shirt, “Aaron, what the hell?”

“Nick…” I pointed to the meteorologist Danny Stone, who was doing the weather, and what he was saying was too crazy to believe.

“This is a very rare event, actually it’s not rare at all, because something like this never happens. A major storm system coming from Alaska, is pushing South and will collide with another major storm system pushing West from the Colorado Rockies and will form one major winter storm. Now seeing a white Christmas isn’t surprising to the Northern and Eastern parts of California, but weather models are predicting that this storm will be pushing more into central and western California, including you folks in the Los Angeles area. But that’s not all, shockingly an ice storm will come into play first hand, then followed by a major blizzard….”

“Bull to the…shit.” Nick moaned, rolling his eyes and leaving the room. I felt my mom put her hand on my shoulder.

“Mom, do you believe this?”

She slowly shook her head, “Honey, weather models don’t lie.”

“But LA never gets snow or…ice.”

“Anything’s possible. I think you need to believe that.”

“Oh I do. I believe this and other shit can happen in about, oh I don’t know, a hundred years or more.” I groaned, “When is it supposed to be here?”

“This is a slow moving storm and it should push through central California in the next couple of days. From what I’m seeing right here, this storm might be with us all week.”


I blinked and formed a tight smile, “Oh, lets say how about Monday!” I paused, “Oh damn, I hope I can get to work alright.” I put my phone in my pocket and headed toward the hallway.

“I don’t know why your going to work Monday anyway. Couldn’t you tell Kim no? I mean CJ just got here, honey.”

I stopped at the doorway and turned back around to face her, “Incase you haven’t noticed, I’m lacking a career right now and not to mention money. Besides, It’s my responsibility to take care of her. I’m her father, it’s my job. I have to make sacrifices.” I said with a warm smile. My mom nodded and returned a smile.
“Oh, turn Danny off, he has bullshit written across his forehead.” I said with a smirk. I walked back to CJ’s room and crawled in beside her, blocking out the thoughts that tried to invade my brain. There was just no way this will happen. There was no way this could happen. Right??