Angel Of Mercy

Chapter One

Nick Carter sat in his doctors office with his band mate Kevin Richardson. He stared at the doctor in shock wondering if he had heard wrong.

Cancer.

"You have three tumors on your left arm Nick, starting with the upper part of your humerus. All the tests pointed to the fact that you had some type of cancer, doing an MRI showed us that you have the tumors."

Nick swallowed hard. He didn't find anything funny at all about the cancer why did the doctor think it was so funny?

"Cancer isn't very funny Doctor Brown." He said softly.

The doctor gave Nick a gentle smile.

"The Humerus is a part of your arm Nick." Doctor Brown explained showing Nick the chart.

Nick had no idea what to say to this. He was young. Just 21 years old and he was in the middle of his blossoming career with the Backstreet Boys. How could he have cancer? He ate healthy....well maybe sometimes and he worked out a lot doing the dance routines and playing basketball with his best friend Brian.

"What do we do doctor?" Kevin asked for Nick. Nick couldn't talk he was speechless.

The doctor looked over his notes his jaw set, his mouth in a tight line.

"Chemo but first we are going to have to amputate the arm."

Nick's jaw dropped open.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!"

Kevin reached over holding Nicks hand.

"Nick I know you are upset but please calm down." He said in his soothing drawl.

"Calm down? YOU WANT ME TO FUCKIN CALM DOWN WHEN THE DOCTOR JUST SAID THAT THEY ARE GOING TO SAW MY ARM OFF?" Nick shouted his heart was racing wildly.

"Do you want to die?" Kevin asked his younger friend.

Nick looked up meeting Kevins fatherly gaze.

"No. I.... I don't want to die." Nick said softly his blue eyes watery.

Kevin turned back to the doctor.

"Dr. Brown, does it have to be amputated?"

Doctor Brown nodded gravely.

"There really isn't a choice I am sorry. He is in the advanced stages of Osteosarcoma. This cancer developes in people between the ages of 10 and 25."

Nick turned away drowning out the doctor and his medical terms. He would let Kevin deal with all the ugly details. Nick let his thoughts drift to what had set off the series of tests that would determine his cancer.

It had been another sunny day, between concerts and Nick was at the park playing one on one with Brian. Nick had run for a lay up with his left arm when he suddenly felt a sharp pain. He had yelped out and clutched at his arm in horrible shooting pain.

Brian had asked him what was wrong but Nick didn't know. A week before he had hit himself during rehersals and the pain was horrible then but it had gone away. At the time that it hurt during basketball, the pain was lasting a heated throbbing. Brian had taken Nick back to the hotel and was worried when he saw that Nicks arm was swollen some.

Brian had gone off to get Kevin and Kevin had demanded that Nick go the the ER. Everything from there had gone down hill.

"Nick are you ready budy?"

Nick looked up, snapping out of his day dream. Kevin was looking down at him.

"Where are we going?" Nick asked.

"Home, we have to pack your things and take you to the hospital to be checked in."

Nick gasped it was all happening so fast. His mind had barely wrapped around anything the doctor was saying. He stood up shaking, rubbing his arm absent minded. Kevin reached out putting his hand on his younger band mates shoulder.

"The sooner this gets done Nick the better. We have to get you well again."

"But to chop my arm off..... Kevin I am kinda attached to it." Nick said weakly trying to joke.

"I know little man, I know how hard it is. But we have to beat the cancer, have to make you well again because we love you."

Nick swipped quickly at his eyes. He couldn't cry infront of Kevin it was too hard.

"It's ok to cry Nick. It doesn't mean you are weak." Kevin said his voice chocked up with emotion.

Nick shook his head hard and followed his friend. How would he tell Brian, the other guys. How would he tell Lil J? His girlfriend of two years. He swallowed hard following Kevin to the car. This was his worst night mare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick sat on his bed across from his girlfriend AJ. Anita Jayne was her name but her friends knew her as AJ. Nick had complained that it got confusing with the Backstreet AJ so they all started to call her Lil J. He had just told her what was going to happen.

AJ twirled a strand of her hair around her index finger. She stared straight into Nicks eyes.

"Cancer." She said soflty.

"They are going to chop my arm off AJ." He said bitterly.

AJ reached out taking his hand into her own.

"Don't be so crude." She said softly letting her thumb brush over his hand.

"What am I supposed to do AJ! And and don't you even care about what that means?"

She met his eyes.

"What that you can no longer give me bear hugs with two arms and it has to be one? So what?"

Nick blinked. He hadn't expected her to react the way she was. He thought for sure she would dump him.

"I won't be able to wear a wedding ring when we get married."

"You can on your right hand."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"Supportive!"

"What did you want me to do?"

"Most normal girls would run away when their boyfriend tells them they are losing a limb."

"I'm not really normal Nick."

"Don't be with me because you pity me?"

"I'm not."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I love you."

Nick stopped. He turned to look at his girlfriend. He could see the truth in her eyes. She did love him.

"You're crazy AJ."

She shrugged.

"Maybe I am, but I am staying by your side."

Nick hugged her slowly with both of his arms. He knew it would be the last time that he would be able to do it.

"I love you AJ and I am sorry."

"You're sorry because you got cancer and you didn't ask for it? Nick you did nothing wrong. You didn't pick this you didn't ask for it to happen."

Nick wet her hair crying into it.

"Then I must be a bad person!"

"How could you think that?"

"Because why else would I have gotten cancer? Why else would I be losing my arm?"

AJ stroked his cheeks. She kissed his tears softly and held his chin.

"Nickolas Gene Carter you are an amazing man. Things happen and we can't always know why but it could be worse."

Nick took a deep breath then leaned against her.

"Make love to me." He said soflty into her hair.

AJ pulled back. She pulled her tank top over her head. Nicks hand reached around her back unhooking her bra. AJ tugged Nicks shirt over his head they pressed together skin to skin their lips meeting.

Nick gently lifted her up. He ignored the pain in his arm as he shifted AJ under him. He looked down at her, into her soft grey eyes as he slid into her warmth. All the thoughts of cancer leaving his mind as AJ over took him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick pulled on his jeans then leaned over kissing AJ.

"Promise?" He asked.

"I wouldn't be any where else tomorrow but by your side before and after the surgery." She said sitting up pulling the sheet around herself.

"This is your last chance to run. You can still escape." Nick told her.

"Stop." She scolded.

He pulled his shirt on and looked at her again.

"As a matter of fact Nick I was thinking of something."

"What's up babe?"

"I was thinking of moving into your apartment you are going to need me."

Nick stroked her hair unable to believe how lucky he was to have her.

"I would love that."

AJ smiled and kissed him.

"Go, I'll be there tonight."

Giving her one last kiss, Nick stood up and met Kevin outside. They drove to the hospital.