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We all waited for Nick, the room was thick with tension. The guys kept praying and kept saying positive things. I did my best to go along, Whispering prayers softly, begging God for help but nothing was helping the fear that was set deep within my heart.

I sat near the window, my head in my hands. I took deep slow breaths hoping that it would slow my racing heart.

“Nick WILL be ok AJ.” Brian said as he came to sit beside me. “This is such a hard time but things will turn out ok in the end. I know that they will.”

I let him take my sweaty hand into his. Brian was like an older brother. I knew that I could always tell him what was on my mind, how I felt, if I had questions he could answer me.

“I just have such a bad feeling Brian.” I said softly.

“We just need Nick to get well again.” Brian told me squeezing my hand.

Well, I thought. That is what matters.

“J, you are probably feeling horrible about how Nick went into the surgery. He was crying a lot and that upset you.” Kevin said joining us.

I bit my lip.

“It was natural for him to be afraid and to cry but right now what we have to focus on is the treatments, taking care of him, helping him learn how to live life with one arm.”

I let out my breath slowly trying to ease some of the tension.

“You are right, as usual Kev.” I said offering him a weak smile.

He mirrored mine.

“Of course.”

I looked out the window. Two hours had already gone by, I wished that I could be in the room with him, to show him just how much that I loved him. I thought back to when we had first met.

“AJ we are getting a new volunteer today, would you please help him out?”

I rolled my eyes, a new volunteer probably meant some spoiled brat who broke the rules and as a punishment was helping out the less fortunate kids. People hardly ever volunteered for this job. They were usually forced into it.

“Alright Cassandra, what time will he be here?”

“Around 1 PM.”

I glanced at the clock. It was almost noon. I still had time to myself to think of how I would adjust to the new guy. I prayed that he wouldn't be yet another cocky, full of himself jerk. I wouldn't hold my breath though.

I did my best to ignore the ticking clock and just focused on the kids. I made them tuna for lunch with glasses of milk. I had just finished passing out the food when the door slammed open. I jumped and looked up. There he was the new guy.

I looked him over with narrowed eyes. He was pretty tall. Over six feet I'm sure. He had short spiky blond hair, and I thought I could see blue eyes. He was frowning and looking disgusted to be here. I glanced at the clock. It was 1:03.

“You're late.” I told him annoyed.

He cocked his brow at me his arms crossed over his broad chest.

“By three minutes only.”

“Well every single minute counts. You are expected to show up on time here.” I told him not bothering to hide my annoyance.

He rolled his eyes.

“Well I am here. What do you want me to do?”

“Start getting together cookies for the kids, they are eating their tuna now.”

He glanced at the table.

“Tuna, milk and cookies? Yum great lunch.” He snorted.

“Yeah well sorry not everyone lives off of pizza and beer.”

“What’s wrong with pizza and beer?” He demanded.

I gave a pointed look at his beer belly. Actually it was kind of cute but I would never
admit that to this egomaniac.

He flushed and I smirked. Score one for me. He went into the little kitchen area and began to set out the cookies for the kids. I watched him he looked so familiar.

“So blondie, what’s your name?”

He looked at me in shock.

“You have no idea who I am?”

I shook my head.

“Nick Carter…”

“Oh, the boy band member.” I stated.

“You say that like you noticed a dead animal on the road.” Nick said grumpily.

I shrugged.

“I'm not really into your kind of music I guess.”

I could feel him staring at me, trying to figure me out.

“What kind of music do you listen to then?”

I shrugged.

“All kinds. Classical, Rock and so on.”

“Who is your favorite singer?”

I became thoughtful. There were a lot of singers that I liked to listen to.

“I really enjoy Pat Benatar, Michael Jackson, Joan Jett…” I said listing a few.

He smirked at me.

“What”? I asked him unsure of what his look meant.

“Consider yourself a bit of a heartbreaker there?”

“Just go get the damn cookies Nick.” I said annoyed with him all over again.

He winked and walked away. I knew that I was eventually going to strangle him if this continued.

“AJ.” Kevin said trying to get my attention.

I looked up shaking my head to ride myself of the day dream.

“What’s going on?” I asked Kevin softly.

“They  are taking Nick into the recovery room now. The surgery is over.” He said.

“Are we able to go see him?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

I jumped out of my chair and raced towards recovery. I couldn't stand to be away from Nick any longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The nurses watched as Nicks friends raced into the room. They knew it would mean a lot to Nick that his friends would be there when he woke up.

Kevin gasped seeing Nick. It was harder than he expected it to be. He gently touched Nicks right shoulder not to wake him but to let him know that he was there.

Lil J was leaning over him, gently kissing his forehead to let him know that she was there as well for him.

“Well, he made it.” Howie whispered softly.

The others nodded relieved. Their brother was alive.

Brian’s eyes kept going to the place where Nicks left arm should have been.

“I can't believe that it is really gone.” He whispered.

“All that matters is that he is alive.” Kevin said.

“I know but before, when he still had his arm I could pretend that it was all nothing more than a nightmare. Now with his arm gone, I am slapped with the reality that Nick’s life is different.”

“He is still Nick Carter.” J whispered softly. Her eyes were still on Nick’s sleeping face.

“Yes, he will always be our Nick no matter what.” Big AJ said gruffly.

Everyone gathered closer waiting for Nick to wake up. The time now was ticking slowly.

They were all full of nervous energy waiting for their friend to wake up. Finally about half

an hour later, Nick groaned softly.

“Honey?” Lil J asked him softly.

“AJ?” He whispered.

She kissed his right hand.

“I am right here Nick. I am here and so are the guys. Come on now and wake up.”

They watched as Nick struggled to open his eyes. He was still very groggy.

“Hey there Nicky.” Brian greeted him with a small smile.

Nick looked at all of their faces.

“Hi.” He croaked out.

“You made it through kid.” Big AJ told him ruffling his hair.

“I made it.” Nick repeated his voice soft.

Lil J leaned over him and gently kissed his forehead pushing back his hair.

“Rest now Nick. Everything is going to be ok. You made it through the worst. The rest will be down hill.”

Nick met her eyes and he smiled for her.

“Will you stay with me?” He asked her.

“Forever Nick. You are stuck with me. And even when you are sick of me and begging me to leave you alone, I will be by your side still."

“I'd never ask you to leave.” He whispered as he slowly began to fall asleep again.

When he was asleep everyone looked at each other again. There was hope in their faces now but there was also still a lot of fear. This was only the beginning