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Chapter 23
She paused in front of the store, sipping her soda, admiring the wedding dress. She had been quiet through out the morning and her future mother in law could certainly tell something was up. Resa jumped at the gentle touch on her shoulder and turned to look at Denise, her eyes wide, forgetting for a moment what was going on.

“What’s wrong Theresa?”

“What? Oh, nothing. I’m sorry Denise, I just have a lot on my mind.”

“I can see that. What are you thinking about?” Resa tugged on her lip, looking back at the dress and shrugged.

“I thought about jumping a plane with AJ and heading to Las Vegas and getting married. I’m not sure I can wait another few more months before we get married.”

“But you all leave for tour in two days!”

“A flight, the ceremony, the flight back can all happen in less than a day.”

“Interesting.”

“What’s interesting?”

“You. When AJ suggested it, you were the one who was very against the idea. And now, here you are, thinking about the idea yourself. Tell me hon, what changed in the last few months that would make you do something you didn’t want to do?”

“People can change Denise. Ideas and feelings can change.”

“That they do. But when Alex asked you to marry him, your faced was aglow with love and happiness. You told my baby that you would give him his dream wedding. Hoping a plane to Vegas is not what either of you really want.” Resa sighed, recalling her words and her feelings. Oh, she still wanted to marry him that would never change; at least, she really hoped that never changed. But, then again, it was AJ who did the proposing, not Alex. And at the time, she didn’t really think anything of it. But seeing how he acted around Kris, she really knew the two were different men.

And perhaps that’s what was eating at her now. She didn’t mean to walk in on them acting all cozy and domesticated. But one could tell they were close and that’s something she would never have with him. And what they were doing was something that AJ always told her he would never do.

Resa had the distinct pleasure of walking in with Kris’s feet up on his lap and he was painting her toe nails! He would rather drink fresh milk from the cow than paint Resa’s toe nails, and that was his own words! And after seeing that crap, how was she supposed to feel? Wasn’t love and trust supposed to be holding a marriage together? What about passion and sizzle?

As of now, Resa had that with AJ, but for how long? Kris was gorgeous and it was obvious that the two were comfortable with each other. Hell, AJ even went as far as brushing her hair. Once more, something that Resa never got.

“It’s not Denise. But I just feel like I’m losing your son and I don’t want to.”

“Theresa, AJ loves you! And you know that. You’re the good girl my son needs. But rushing into a marriage, if you two aren’t 100 percent ready, is certainly not a good thing and certainly not an answer. You will be turning right around and getting a divorce.”

“You’re right, and I know that.”

“Good, so don’t worry anymore. Now, what’s this about a surprise?” Resa linked her arms through Denise’s and lead her down to the restaurant where Kris was sitting and waiting alone. But once she glanced up, she screamed, running over to Denise and throwing her arms around her neck.

“Mom, it’s been ages since I’ve seen you.” At that name, Resa cringed; the name hurting her dearly, for Denise still hadn’t given her the go ahead on calling her mom.

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Resa frowned as she walked into the room, tossing her purse on the end table, not caring that she left her little lunch date. It wasn’t like the two women even noticed that she left anyway. She clenched her teeth, thinking that over, not even knowing how she could stay there for an hour and listen to them talk, totally and completely ignoring her. It wasn’t as if she was laying claim to either one, but a surge of jealousy rose up in her. She had sat back and realized two things that she would never have. One was how close Kris was to Denise. Growing up with someone, she understood, brought closeness and understanding, she wasn’t going to take that away from either one of them. But Resa was smart enough, and certainly astute enough, to know she would never get that with Denise, no matter how hard she tired or wanted. And, secondly, she knew that there were a lot of things that happened to Kris that Kris never confided to her. And they were supposed to be best friends. How can you withhold so much information from your best friend? That wasn’t friendship! And that hurt, that jealousy, was enough to make her sick and to make her cry. All she wanted was to fall down on her bed and sob. But no one was there to console her or soothe her.

Theresa lifted her head and eyed the pool, slowly walking over to it. It was a nice afternoon and a dip in the pool sounded nice. Of course, never coming up for air sounded good too. That stopped her short. She had been that foolish once. Wanting to commit suicide because she had been betrayed, she had been hurt, she had been jealous and she had been alone. But now, she was stronger, smarter, and more able to deal with her problems.
She turned slightly and glanced at the stair way. She could go upstairs and finish packing for her and AJ, for there was still a lot to do. She had clothes that needed to be washed and things to be put away and of course, she had to make sure everything was on the laptop for her wedding. She shook her head, none of that sounded appealing. She turned again; saw the basement and the recording studio next to the dance studio. AJ had given her free leave of both, not that she had a clue when it came to that sound board with the many buttons and switches and lights. It blew her mind just to watch him do it.
Yet, none of that sounded fun either. Once more, she was alone. Howie was with AJ and Nick, probably finding some kind of trouble. Brian was with LeighAnne and Bayley; her supposed best friend was with her mother in law. She had no one to talk to, no one to hang with. She was, after all, alone. What a horrible and ugly feeling.

There was an easy therapy for that actually. In some ways, she and AJ did fit. She picked up her purse, locked up her house, started up her car and grinned as she blared her music and headed to the mall. She and AJ did happen to share a passion for shopping. And when one was alone, shopping was a friend.

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She browsed through the mall, finding a few things here and there for herself and for her friends. She was still thinking about them, even if she didn’t answer their phone calls. Yes, her phone had been ringing off the hook with them calling her or sending text messages. She even had a tweet from Nick. But for once, she enjoyed this solitude. There was something rather therapeutic about shopping. Of course, the money she was spending was AJ’s. He might not totally dig the bill when it came in, but oh well.

She walked out to her car, finally setting the bags in the backseat and started driving, not heading home. She wasn’t ready to deal with all of the people who would be there, even if it was just AJ and Kris. Resa knew what she told AJ, that she believed him, trusted him. And she did. Yet, the voice in the back of her mind didn’t. So, it would keep nagging, keep saying something and it was a hard voice to ignore! And as she walked and shopped, she realized that she needed proof. Having friends, who told her no, just wasn’t enough. But what did one do? It was in the past, it’s not like she could go back and rewind time.

She drove along the ocean drive, thinking that stopping at the beach would have been nice. And mentally agreeing that tomorrow would be a wonderful day to do just that. She had no doubt that she was getting left alone yet again. As she glanced around, a shop caught her eye. It was a newer shop in a way, like it wasn’t there before, but the building was rather run down. Normally, Resa did not believe in physics or all that mumbo jumbo, so she couldn’t explain why her car all of a sudden did a sharp u-turn and drove to the shop or why it parked itself and than shut itself off. But once it did, she was brave enough to step out of the car and than make her way into the shop.

It was pleasant, serene almost, not what one would expect from a physic shop. As the bell chimed, an older, petite woman came from the back, a smile on her face.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m not sure. I saw the shop…”

“And you have unanswered questions that you think I can help you with? Or that maybe you can find out on your own? ”

“Perhaps.”

“Name is Jolene Trenton.”

“It’s a pleasure Jolene.” Theresa walked around the shop, glancing briefly over the rows of books. She had tried, a very long time ago, to understand the strange world of physics and tarot reading, but she never quite caught on. And as faith would have it, she’s once again in a store, looking at books, wondering if they would help her with her burning questions. Okay, okay, she said she believed AJ, and she did want to, really! She wanted to believe her friends as well. But, that damn voice just wasn’t giving up, again. So much for therapeutic huh?

“Is there anything I can help you find?” Resa paused as a book caught her eye. It was a book about Tarot cards, how to read them and how to find the simple answers. She grabbed it and started flipping through it.

“Are they right?” The older woman glanced at the book in Theresa’s hands and smiled softly.

“I suppose. When you talk to the cards, make sure you ask your question out loud, and than mediate on that question. The thoughts get jumbled up with a multitude of things, so saying it out loud just makes you concentrate all that more on it.”

“I read somewhere that you should do it alone?”

“That is up to the person. I have found that it’s not a problem to have more people there. But make sure that only one person is asking at a time. And you do know not to take the cards in the picture sense, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Depending on the position the card may take, the Death card, for example, doesn’t mean death as many would believe. It actually means the start of something new, an adventure. That book is the simplest and easiest way to understand the cards and what they are telling you.” She flipped through the book some more, looking at the cards, quite awed by the design and the meanings. What would asking the cards really bring? Again, it’s not like she really believed it?

If that was the damn case, why was she here, looking at a book and really thinking about buying a deck of Tarot cards and book to help her understand? She sighed, giving into the fact that she at least did want to ask and walked up to the lady, spotting the decks in a case and seeing a gothic looking set.

“I’ll take this and those cards.”

“He does very excellent work. Very detailed information.” She rang up the stuff and than put it in a bag, handing it to Theresa. “The cards will be an as honest and accurate as you want, my dear. If you don’t believe, the information they give you might be a tad incomprehensible. If the true question that is lurking within isn’t the one you asked out loud, the cards are going to be incomprehensible. Just remember that.”