Howie stood in the empty waiting room near the windows so that he could see when the plane arrived. AJ’s flight would be arriving in about five minutes if it was on time. He was glad that they’d be able to get this leg of the tour over with. He wanted to see AJ in the flesh. See him with his own two eyes so that he’d be able to know, know what AJ had been promising with each and every phone call.
Each time they spoke, Howie would ask him how the sobriety was doing. Each time AJ had replied with a “doing just fine”. That was until recently when AJ went off on him. The last time Howie had asked, AJ went on a five minute diatribe of how tired he was of everyone asking and making sure. His sobriety was, “doing just fine, like it is all the time.” Howie wasn’t convinced because his asking had never been answered with such hostility. AJ got on the defensive when there were things he didn’t want people to know. AJ may not have realized it but he’d already planted the seeds to keep Howie watching him carefully.
“Howard Dorough, I swear to God that this is the last tour I am doing with you unless you cut your damn frizzy hair!” Howie turned to the voice and saw AJ in the door of the waiting room. The plane had landed and he hadn’t even noticed. He smiled as he looked at his best friend and began to walk towards him. The two friends shared a hug and a handshake grinning at each other.
“Can you believe this shit, fifteen years and we’re still doing it?” AJ laughed.
“I suppose. Stranger things have happened. What time are the rest of the guys coming in?” Howie replied.
“Not sure, but they’ll meet us at the hotel. Either tonight or tomorrow. Nick I know won’t be here until tomorrow night. He couldn’t get any earlier flight, damn airport grounded about a hundred planes. He was lucky to get the flight he did.” AJ and Howie walked through the metal detectors and out into the main terminal that was thankfully empty because of the late hour. Both preferred the red eye flights that were less crowded and left the airports blessedly empty. If they did run into any fans they were usually as tired and low keys as the guys, and were pleased with merely an autograph or a handshake.
“Any word from Kevin or Brian?”
“Nope. Nick probably knows about Brian, and Brian knows about Kevin.”
“The girls coming?”
“Leighanne is of course. She plans on spending the whole tour with Lucy and Amelia. Brian couldn’t make her stay home if he tried. Kristen, I don’t think she’s coming, she had something come up and supposedly she’ll be spending the summer working on some book.”
“And what about Amelia?” Howie asked, eyebrow raised.
“She’ll be managing the stage, just like the last three tours she’s been on,” AJ replied, obviously ignoring Howie’s gaze.
“Ah, the old avoidance tactic, I see how this is going to work,” Howie chuckled, why wouldn’t AJ take off the sun glasses?
“Same tactic she’s been using. I haven’t spoken to the woman in six months,” he replied pathetically as he and Howie got into the back of the cab that had taken Amelia and Lucy to their hotel only a few hours prior.
“Really? What happened? You two have another lovers’ spat?” Howie laughed but stopped when he saw the look on AJ’s face.
“I don’t know what happened. I was planning on a trip to Japan with her, but then she got booked on another tour, I didn’t hear from her.”
“She got busy, that’s all,” Howie tried.
“We’re all always busy, but that doesn’t stop us from making phone calls. I think she’s really mad at me.” AJ unconsciously took out his phone and checked it for messages, messages from Amelia, like he always hoped for.
“She didn’t call AJ, don’t expect a message,” Howie replied, looking over at his best friend, hastily putting away the phone.
“I don’t know what I did, what I said, to make her ignore me.”
“Why don’t you try that whole thing that you’ve been ignoring for the past five years?” Howie took out his own phone and checked to see if any of the guys had texted him.
“Nick’s got on his plane,” Howie announced, scrolling through the message and returning a text.
“Good.” AJ replied, hoping the moment had passed.
“So, that thing, ignored for past five years, wanna talk about it?” Howie quickly closed the phone and returned it to his pocket.
“What do you want me to say?” AJ asked.
“I want you to admit it and stop putting it off before something happens that you’ll really regret.”
“What’s gonna happen that I’ll regret?” AJ’s brow furrowed and he was confused.
“That she might find someone else and leave you all the more upset and lonely, that’s what.” Howie knew he was being rather blunt but it was about time AJ realized the truth.
But AJ didn’t look perturbed by Howie blurting out this truth. Instead he looked at his lap and picked at a fingernail.
“I know, I know, dear lord do I know,” AJ sighed.
“Dude, come on, just admit it, you know what you want to do,” Howie reasoned.
“I know that too. But what if she just wants to be friends though?” AJ picked up his head and looked over at Howie.
“Hold on,” Howie replied as they pulled up to the back of the hotel. He and AJ got out of the car, paid the driver and gave the baggage man their room number. They waited till they were safely ensconced in their room, baggage brought up before bringing up the issue again. Howie was hungry so he ordered some room service; coffee, danish and a selection of soda for AJ.
Plopping down on the couch, AJ knew it would be impossible to sleep now that he was thinking about her. It always was. He laid his head back and covered his eyes with linked fingers. Howie took out a stack of real estate papers and began to go through them one at a time.
“Why don’t you go to bed?” Howie asked.
“I can’t, not sleepy anymore.”
“Are we back at the touchy subject?”
“I suppose so.” Howie put down his papers and turned to look seriously at AJ.
“D, I really do not know what to do. How the hell would I even bring the subject up?” AJ almost whined.
“Have you ever tried?”
“No, of course not. Why would I? It’s not something we’ve ever discussed. We don’t talk about relationship stuff, never did.”
“You never talked about that kind of relationship? Nothing?”
“Nope. It just never seemed to come up. I mean for one, I’m single, two, she’s single, so it wasn’t like either one of us ever was complaining about their partner, you know what I mean?” AJ asked, genuinely interested in Howie’s answer.
“Wow, you two are strange. Never talking about relationships. What about just being flat out honest? I mean, how hard would that be for you? You’re always pretty point blank, this is what it is.” AJ considered his answer for a moment, but replied,
“No. That is not gonna work. Especially coming back off a six month stint without talking to her. That nearly killed me. Besides that I’m not sure what she was mad about, so I don’t want to move that fast without knowing what I did. I want to make up for it.” Howie knew how deeply AJ had been hurt by the absence of Amelia. AJ was sensitive to such a degree that sometimes Howie was not surprised that AJ had ended up in rehab. Amelia had been everything for AJ in the last five years, sometimes even more than his guys had ever been. Thinking about it, Amelia had been a lot to AJ in the years AR, after rehab. Once out of there, he’d focused on her. Howie, at the time, thought it was a good thing, now, not so much. Maybe he depended on Amelia a little too much.
“AJ, I’m gonna tell you right now, the reason she did not call you is because she was busy. I talked to Lucy a few weeks back and she said that Amelia wasn’t calling her either. Amelia was really busy. No one heard from her, not just you,” Howie explained.
“I talked to Lucy too, and yeah, that is what she told me, but I can’t help think that there is another reason.” AJ sat brooding for a moment and Howie watched him.
“Don’t over think the situation. Just go for it. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen?” Howie asked, an eye brow raised high on his forehead.
“She’d freak out and never speak to me again.” AJ looked very serious as he said this. But Howie merely laughed.
“Dude, she would never do that to anyone, let alone you. Think about it, you are her best friend, she could not do that to you. It might be a little weird for a while, but hey it happens. Other than that, I don’t see what the point is in waiting around. You’ve got nothing to lose but a bunch of lonely nights and everything to gain. A beautiful woman that you get along with and likes you, Aje, there is not much you could ask for in a woman.” AJ listened and logically he knew that Howie was right, he usually was. It did not make sense to wait around and ignore the possibility of something more with the woman he’d been friends with for five years. However, logic was one thing, feelings were another, and he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he was going to lose everything if he told her. If he told her the truth. The truth that he, AJ McLean loved her. AJ McLean loved Amelia May.
Loved her, he had loved her ever since he had met her on that rainy April morning, the eleventh, five years ago. She’d worn her dark brown hair long and soft, covering her bare shoulders, a loose fitting baby blue tank top and faded blue jeans with her favorite sneakers. She’d been standing with her back to him as Leighanne and Lucy were laughing at something she’d said, Brian waving him over to the group of giggling girls. She was twenty-two, three years veteran of the music industry, one of Brian’s “little sisters” since high school and a visceral genius when it came to organization.
He’d walked over and Lucy had moved to admit him into the circle. He was standing directly across from said siren and felt as if he was falling between the floorboards. She finally turned to him and her eyes were a mix of brown, green and gold, light enough to light up her face yet still keep a secret behind him. Her eyes kept a smile held into place and he felt his own lips smile.
“Hi, I’m Amelia May Yurikovich, but you can call me,”
“Amy,” AJ interrupted her as they shook hands.
“I was actually gonna say Meals, but Amy works too.”
“That’s AJ, and you can call him AJ,” Brian laughed at his own joke.
“Brian, sweetie, that’s never been funny.” Leighanne said as she patted Brian’s arm.
“So, you’re the new Stage Manager?” AJ asked.
“You got it. Just for a couple months or so until the tour manager finds someone else. I’m booked on another tour at the end of June. Some girl group, Eden’s Crush, or something like that, they won that Popstars show.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember that, poor Meals, has to deal with those crappy TV groups, yet again,” Lucy chimed.
“Hey, O-Town was not that bad. They have a pretty good sound when compared to Nsync.” Amelia protested.
“Well, just wait till you hear us,” AJ grinned.
“I’m Brian’s designated little sister, I have to like the music,” Amelia elbowed Brian affectionately.
“That’s good to know,” AJ laughed slightly.
“So do you want something?”
“Huh?” AJ woke out of his reverie and saw Howie standing beside the room service cart that must have arrived in the midst of his trance.
“I guess, whatever, I don’t really care.” Howie grabbed a can of Coke and tossed it to AJ before taking a danish and cup of coffee.
“Given anymore thought to what I said?” Howie asked, resuming his seat and watching AJ pop his soda.
“I have. Very much so.”
“Do you know then?”
“I’ve got to do something. I don’t know what. I got to figure out the right way to tell her.”
“So you are gonna tell her?” Howie tried to clarify.
“Well, yeah, I am. I can’t live like this anymore. Really can’t. So I’ll do it. I’ll tell her.”
“Good, now that that is settled, you can help me figure out some of these papers,” Howie clapped his hands together and dove back into the pile of folders on the coffee table. AJ however was staring off into space, his fingers tracing the top of the can as he thought.
I could tell her. I mean really, she is my best friend, and she is such a good friend. She really would not hold it against me. She’s not that kind of person. Maybe, maybe she’d even be happy about it. Maybe she would feel the same way too. That’s it, think positively. Just stay positive. Things could turn out better than you hope.
“Howie?” AJ asked turning to his friend who was now fully immersed in a stack of ecology reports, a pencil stuck behind his ear and a pen in his teeth.
“Yeah?” He didn’t look up from his things.
“Are you sure that she wouldn’t freak out?” Howie rolled his eyes, sighed and stuffed the papers back in the folder, shoving them away.
“I knew I wasn’t gonna get anything done tonight,” Howie shook his head and laughed at AJ who was also smiling.
“So, what were you saying about this doll again?” Howie asked, turning completely around to face AJ fully.
“Amy Doll, “ AJ corrected, “I call her Amy Doll. What I was asking was, you’re sure that she wouldn’t freak out on me?”
“I’ve known her as long as you have, not as close mind you, and you’re asking me?”
“I know! But come on Howie, I’m going on seven years single! I don’t exactly know how to read the opposite sex! I need some help man.”
“Dude, you have to tell her. You really do, cause call me crazy, you’ve never been all that subtle and honestly, you hang on her a little more than is really acceptable for a ‘boy-friend’” Howie used the air quotes to accent “boy-friend”.
“I do not,” AJ scoffed.
“AJ, the only thing that you two don’t do is make out and have sex. Other than that, the relationship is there.”
“I wouldn’t say that, Howie,” AJ replied incredulously.
“Dude, seriously? You carry her around on your shoulder at the drop of a hat, share a suite, hold her hand all the time, sit by her at every single meeting or whatever, talk to her on the phone every single day, not to mention the fact that if either one of you did have a partner they would be seriously pissed at the amount of touching you two do. ” AJ interrupted waving his hands at Howie.
“What are you talking about?” AJ asked, seriously not getting what Howie was talking about.
“Dude, you and her have absolutely no boundaries. She grabs your ass so much that her hands probably have more contact with your butt than your boxers, and you have gotten a hell of a lot of touchy feely with the twins,” Howie replied, stony faced as he picked up his cup of coffee and sipped at it. AJ’s eyes went wide as he looked at Howie, Sweet D, the polite and nice and proper Backstreet Boy.
“Don’t look so surprised, I’m glad for you man. But really you got to think about what I’m saying!” Howie started to laugh at the look on AJ’s face and soon he was laughing too.
“Okay, I get it, I get it. Aw man.”
“I’m telling you. You have the relationship, all that remains is for you to tell her that you want her. I think that she feels the same way that you do, but she just hasn’t been able to tell you. I mean, you two are an awful lot alike. Here both of you are, like a couple of love sick puppies and yet neither one of you can get up the courage to tell the other one.”
“Aren’t you jumping the gun, just a little bit?” AJ asked.
“Aje, if I’m wrong about this, I’ll, I’ll cut my damn frizzy hair,” Howie replied with a grin.
“All right, I’m gonna hold you to that one,” AJ laughed.
“I better be right then.”
