“I can’t believe that I haven’t seen you in six months! What the hell have you done to yourself!” AJ flung his arms around Amelia and hugged her tight to him. She, so much smaller in comparison, could hardly reach up to him but she did, and hung on to him like he was a life raft.
“Your hair is so much longer, and you’re so tan! My god are you beautiful!” AJ released her from his grasp and held her at arm’s length to look at her. She was smiling like an idiot might and it was all because of him. He felt as if that hole inside him was slowing filling. He almost said,
“I feel so much better now that I’m standing right next to you, and I know I’m not going crazy.” But instead he said,
“I am so glad to see you. You have to tell me all about your tour, where did you go, who did you see?”
“Well, it was another European circuit tour, so the usual places, Rome, Paris, Moscow, Vienna, Copenhagen, Warsaw. I met the Red Hot Chili Peppers and it was an impossibly long and tiring tour. I went to bed every night so friggen exhausted I could barely wake up the next morning without someone sticking a mug of coffee under my nose, I wish I could have brought my assistant onto this tour. Alan was a real sweetheart,” Amelia was gabbing on about things that really weren’t important but she noticed when AJ’s ears pricked up at the mention of Alan.
“Your assistant, what was he like?” AJ tried not to sound jealous or suspicious. Oh god, here it was coming, Amelia had found a guy. Would anyone notice if he was sitting at the table chugging from a hairspray bottle?
“A real cutie, always dressed up, a really dapper guy, such the professional, though his boyfriend was completely the opposite. I swear, I’ll never get over the pair of them.” Amelia was chuckling to herself and AJ’s gut unclenched.
“The pair of them?”
“Yeah, Alan’s boyfriend Robert was one of the stage hands, lighting and such. Another one, great at his job, but you would swear he came out of one of those really bad eighties punk rock videos. We’re talking flannel, work boots, mohawk and mullet, fang earring, the whole nine yards.”
“So, who did you hang out with while you were on tour?”
“A few people from the crew, once in a while we’d have dinner together, but there really wasn’t any leisure time. I really worked my ass off on this one. I’m never taking another six month tour again, not like that, no way,” she sighed and looked over at AJ, he was staring at her.
“What?”
“Nothing, I’ve just missed you, that’s all. I’ve missed looking at you,” god, he needed to stop before he got in trouble.
“I know, I know I was an ass, for not calling all of that time. And I’m really sorry about that Aja. Can you ever forgive me?” She looked at him sadly and there was no way in hell he could hold anything against her.
“Of course I can Amy Doll,” he said immediately and swallowed her in a hug, kissing her cheek. She reciprocated sighing into him and they hugged for longer than necessary. When they let each other go, AJ took her hand in his own and said,
“Mind if we step outside so I can smoke a cigarette?”
“Of course not,” Amy replied and she followed him out to the small grassy knoll outside the banquet room’s doors. Amelia never had a problem with him smoking. He’d even known her once in a while to join him in a smoke or two.
There wasn’t much grass so AJ took a seat against the side of the building and Amelia took a close seat next to him. So close that when she crossed her legs Indian style her knee bumped into AJ’s. He lit a cigarette and offered the pack to her.
“No thanks,” he nodded. As he remembered she usually only smoked in the evening if and when she was unusually stressed.
“You know something Aja, I don’t think I realized how much I missed you until I saw you again,” Amelia said softly, gazing at the shrub that shaded the side of the building from the back alley.
“I missed you all along, Amy,” AJ too gazed at the shrub while he pulled on the cigarette alternating with puffs emanating from his lips in lazy curls. What she did next surprised him. She scooted even closer and pulled his arm around her shoulder. She snuggled against him and let out a sigh.
“I forgot how good this feels,” she said, leaning her head into him and closing her eyes. He looked down at her, through veiled eyes, trying not to cry. God he hated it when she did things like this. Gave him such mixed signals that he’d worked his brain into a frenzy trying to figure out what she meant by things like this.
“AJ?” She picked up her head and looked at him and he composed himself as much as he could.
“Yeah?” He turned to look in her eyes. There was some kind of battle in there. Part of her was waging war on another part of her. He knew that feeling, all too well. Then the idea that Howie had planted in his head came back to him at that moment. You have the relationship, all that remains is for you to tell her that you want her. I think that she feels the same way that you do, but she just hasn’t been able to tell you.
Her hands took his face between them and she was there. So suddenly, so fast, she was so close. Then she pressed her lips against his own and closed her eyes. It took only a second for him to react, flinging his cigarette into the grass and wrapping his arm around her quivering body.
What the hell was going on? Why was she doing this? Since when had things gotten so screwed up?
“Stop thinking jackass and just enjoy her while you have her!” His brain shouted and he let all the doubts swim away for later perusal. So he kissed her. He held her. He let himself do this thing, this mirage he was sure he was going to wake up from any second. But he didn’t wake up. And Amelia didn’t disappear. Her arms were wrapped around his neck like they were trying to keep him from going somewhere, like he’d attempt to move now.
His heart was pummeling against his ribs. He’d never been so nervous in his entire life. Not when he stepped on stage, not when he walked into rehab for the first time, not when he’d been sure he was going to die from the depression that engulfed him when his grandmother died.
When she pulled back to look at him, his eyes were wide and full of questions. But he didn’t have the strength to ask them. So he simply took her in his arms and hugged her tight to him, hoping against all hope, that this was the signal he’d been looking for.
“Miss Yurikovitch? Mr. McLean? Mr. Kale asked me to tell you he’s going to make the welcome back speech, if you’d like to join the rest of the party,” it was Kyle poking his head out of the back door.
“We’ll be right there,” AJ replied without even looking up and Kyle, who knew he was being dismissed, left without another word.
“I suppose we should go listen to Kestin’s hoopla, shouldn’t we?” Amelia asked softly.
“Yeah, we probably should,” AJ replied reluctantly. They stood up as one and hurried back into the banquet room where most of the crew had assembled around the chair Kestin had climbed on.
“Yeah, basically, you all know what you’re doing, why we’re here. We’d like to welcome back our great and wonderfully talented Backstreet Boys, we love you guys, especially because without you, none of us would have jobs,” Kestin spoke and the group laughed.
“Anyway. Just a couple of announcements, we are so glad to be back together with such a great group of friends, I certainly am, though it is a bit of a bittersweet moment for me. While so many of you have quite a few more tours left in you, and many more years in the music biz ahead of you, I am afraid I do not. This here, will be my last tour. I am retiring, the doctors are saying some shit about blood pressure and crap, and that I need to take it slow,” Kestin waited while the buzz died down.
“He’ll be bored to tears, maybe he’ll move to Miami and we can keep an eye on him,” Amelia said, linking her arm through AJ’s.
“I hope so,” AJ’s mind was still reeling from that kiss, but Kestin leaving the business, that was a big deal.
“And since I’ll have to step down at the end of this tour, the label has asked me to pick and train my successor. It took me all of two seconds to figure out who I was going to ask to attempt to fill my size twelve shoes, but I think Meals will just do fine,” Kestin looked directly at Amelia and AJ felt her stiffen next to him.
“Meals, can I count on you to do my job better than I did?” Kestin asked. AJ knew she was still shocked, but she recovered remarkably well.
“Twice as good Kestin!” She yelled over the crowd.
“See I knew I picked a good one. But, aside from the good news that you’ll be getting rid of an old fogey like me and get some new gorgeous blood by the likes of our pretty little Amelia. Today is a day for getting to see everyone, enjoying, eating, drinking and being merry. Tomorrow, rehearsals start, ten AM at the Garden. Don’t be late, or I’ll have to chase you down in a golf cart, so I don’t get my blood pressure up. Thanks everyone, and welcome back. Oh also, we have a few new members to the crew, try not to scare them too much and treat them the way you were treated when you came here.” Everyone gave an applause for Kestin and broke away from the crowd.
“I’m gonna go talk to Kestin, see you in a minute.” Amelia stood on her toes to reach AJ’s cheek and gave him a quick peck and was off into the crowd.
“Excellent, new crew members to prank,” Nick said as he parted the crowd with his wide shoulders.
“Nick, always the diplomat,” AJ grinned at his partner in crime and gave him a hug.
“Long time no see buddy, a whole month,” Nick replied giving a pat on the shoulder.
“Never thought I’d see the day when you’d be taller than me,” AJ chuckled.
“Gentlemen, nice to see you again,” Kevin appeared at Nick’s side and they shared a handshake. Howie and Brian followed and the group reunited with hugs and handshakes, asking each other the usual, how they were, what they’d been up to since they’d done the photo shoot.
“How is my God son?” AJ asked Brian.
“He’s doing just fine, Leighanne will be bringing him in a couple days along with his tutor. His pediatrician just said to have the tour doc to keep an eye on him. Kestin got us a specialist in Kawasaki’s disease, so that put Leigh at ease. Me too,” Brian sighed. AJ knew how hard it had been for Brian in the last year or so. He was so worried he’d passed on his heart problems to his son, even though the doctors had assured him that a congenital heart defect could not have caused Baylee’s problems.
Maybe that was why AJ had kept his mouth shut to Brian about his own problems. Brian had enough to deal with. Brain had always told AJ he was more than welcome to lean on him if he was thinking about using. But AJ wasn’t an inconsiderate idiot, he wasn’t going to call up Brian and ask him to talk him through a craving. Not when he had a seven year old son with a medical condition sitting in the next room that needed all of his attention.
Yeah, and it’ll be so much better when he finds out you have been using instead of calling him. You know what he’ll think. He’ll think it was his fault that you couldn’t call him.
Brian was probably the only person he could have talked to about the problems he had been facing, without out being reamed out, like Kevin would do, without having a guilt trip laid on him, like Nick would do, or marched straight back to rehab, like Howie would do. Brian listened, he was patient, he’d let AJ get the whole problem out without interrupting and treating him like he was a bad kid or something. Kevin had that effect on him, still, fifteen years later, when Kevin turned on the big brother attitude and made AJ at age thirty one feel like he was sixteen again.
“So, who is with me on terrorizing the newbies?” Nick asked with an eager grin.
“Not today, give em a couple days, lure them into a feeling of false security, then we’ll get ‘em,” AJ replied.
“How is Amelia?” Kevin said with no warning and no segway.
“She’s fine, went to talk to Kestin,” Howie replied without missing a beat. Kevin was staring hard at AJ and he was beginning to sweat under the scrutiny.
“Give it a break man,” AJ mumbled and wiped at his nose. His hand itched toward his shirt pocket and his cigarettes, he hadn’t been able to enjoy the first one. For once, Kevin backed off and just in time for Howie to jump and give a yell.
“Just could not resist Howard, you have got the sweetest ass in the entire country!” Lucy guffawed as she passed into the circle of guys.
“Thanks, so much Lucy,” Howie shook his head and rubbed his back side, “You’ve got claws like a lobster!”
“I know, I know, Nicky Poo! Uh, cute as ever! Come here and let me pinch those adorable cheeks!” Lucy squished Nick’s face in her hands and kissed him on the cheek.
“So! Bri Bri, where are you hiding my bitch Leighanne? Got her knocked up and barefoot again?” Lucy asked, slinging an arm around both Nick and Brian’s necks.
“Not yet Lucy,” Brian blushed slightly, he was still a southerner at heart, he couldn’t stand to hear things like that come out of girl’s mouth.
“Cause Meals and I have some serious drinking to do with that girl. Do you realize it has been six whole months since the three of us have been together?” Lucy looked across the circle to Kevin who was looking hard at her.
“Tone it down a bit Luce, would you?” Kevin made a small glance towards AJ. Lucy’s eyes followed.
“Oh please, yes, don’t want to let AJ know that alcohol is still in existence and that other people do drink. Because he has no self control whatsoever. My god Alex, how do you manage to stand up straight while you are drunk off your ass?” AJ chuckled, Lucy did have a good sense of humor, and even her laughing at Kevin’s over concerned act made the truth seem all the more far away.
Lucy dropped her arms from around Brian and Nick’s necks before approaching AJ.
“Toe the line AJ, toe the line,” she murmured in his ear before turning to Kevin.
“Why don’t you take the stick out of your ass AND turn it down a notch, ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAD MY MOTHER TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!” Lucy shouted before she walked away.
“Charming, as always. Don’t know what you see in her Howie,” Kevin rolled his eyes and AJ shot a look at Howie who squirmed nervously.
“Anyone try the pancakes?” Nick asked and the conversation was over.
