I remember the note i left on her doorstep. The tears that ran down my face. I even remember walking away, getting in the car, and driving away. As I did pull out of AJ's drive, I was stuck listening to Haylee's song and i just wanted to cry harder. Just like a girl would do in one of those chick flick movies. You know where, the girl is driving down the road with her head almost down and they cant see straight cause of the tears. Then it just happens that the rain just starts to pour. Well, at least the rain didnt pour. Im starting to think im crazy now because i dont know why i feel so much. I got half way down out of California and i went by Haylee's favorite place. It's like everything i see is her and I don't know why. "Great, nothing can go the way i plan."
I was sitting there and thinking im not even talking to myself. Then i realized I truly was talking to myself. I got out of my car and looked at the flat i had on my tire. "God could this get any worse?" Then it hit me. I guess it could. I stood there and an old man walked up to me. "Hello, young man. Need any help?" "Yes sir. Thank you" The old man looked me over a couple of times and then finally asked me what was wrong.I didnt know if i should tell him my problems but i knew i should have. Then again I did when he got my tire fixed and he asked me if i could give him a lift. I told him yeah and that i didnt mind. Then i should have mind. I went crazy when the old man had got into the vehicle. What was this feeling? I never got nervous or scared. I felt like
I was getting farther away from Haylee when the old man had got into my car.
"What is this?"
"Hey sir, that's private stuff please dont go through that."
"Is it your girlfriend?"
"No ex. Now stop please. I dont want to talk about it."
"You'll have to sooner or later. So which is it?"
I had no self control of this situation. Was this Old fart really for real? I didnt want to talk about Haylee but who am i kidding? I looked over at him and just sighed. There wouldn't be any real way of explaining. Not my disappearing and most of all the pain I had caused Haylee. I was into a situation I couldn't run from. I mean, yes I could just opened my door and kicked the old man out. Should have done that as I look back now. I could have just kept on driving but then I would look like a bad guy. "I'm not a bad guy. I just get confused is all." Oh boy, I said that too loud. I wonder if he'll ask me. "Just keep looking straight, carter." I did too. My eyes stayed focused on the road. I wasn't saying a word not here and not now.
"You'll talk about her sooner or later son. So spill it."
"I just want to rewind time you know."
"Did you hurt her?"
"Yes."
"Son, time will mend broken hearts and broken places."
"I know but I still be the bad guy. Im not a bad guy though. I'm just confused is all."
"Son, keep driving and I'll give you a life that you'll never want to see your girl go through."
Nick drove for a long time and waited for the old man to say "stop."
~~~
The car came to stop and the old man got out without ever saying a word. He had a strange look before turning to me. It was like a deep sorrow look. Then all
of sudden, he spoke up. He pointed as he looked me in the eyes. His voice burned my ears and i heard Haylee. It hurt me cause I was hearing her for a first in
the last couple of days. Then i noticed something, she was in pain. I stayed where i was standing when i had gotten out. I was staring at the old man. He looked
at me as if he knew how much i wanted to go running to her. The thing is, i hurt her and i had to stay away...
"Did you know, boy, that shes crying for you right now?"
"She is?"
"Yes, look at me, Nickolas."
"Whao, how did you know my name?"
"I know everyone's name. Anyways, look at me. Do you love her?"
"Well...i.."
"Answer the question, son."
"I dont know."
"Sure, you dont. Thats why you wanted to run to her."
"She sounds hurt. I dont want her hurt. Thats why i left. I was hurting her."
"Son, let me show you this world she is in right now. Trust me, it'll motivate you enough to get help."
"I dont need anything to help me. I was just going to disappear."
"Disappear, you shall."
~~~~
One minute the old man and the truck and leaving was all but just a memory. I didnt forget who I was or what I did. But i forgot her. There's a girl in my mind
that i see all the time. I dont know her name but i know a face. I know shes hurting and yet, i know i dont even exist to the guys. Everything is a bad memory
except for knowing my name or even the band. Yet, they wont remember. I dont know what the old man did to me but i do know that i need to get my life back. My eyes
are opened but im gripping for something that isnt there. I still see her things and her in my mind. A NAME THAT'S TO PAINFUL TO SAY, LET ALONE THINK. How can i
miss her this much? The old man asked me if i loved her, i understand why he asked. He was making sure i wouldnt go crazy in this other life but now i get it."God
help me be stronger and just help me fight for her, for US..." Ill think that everyday if i have too.
~~~
Story Notes:
The squeal to Loves Dreamer
Author's Chapter Notes:
Enjoy & Please Review
