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"Keep the change," I muttered to the cab driver as I handed him an unknown bill. By the sound of his reaction, I knew it was more than I should have tipped him but at the moment I didn't give a shit. After Cayla left me in downtown Minneapolis, I ended up finding a hotel for the night and got minimal amount of sleep. I was so angry but at the same time I was so hurt. I didn't understand how she could believe some drunk and not me. I never said nor did anything to make her doubt my sincerity nor anything else about my feelings for her. Sighing heavily, I pushed the sunglasses farther up the bridge of my nose and walked up her driveway towards the front door. Declaring my love for her... might not have been the best choice given the situation. But damnit, it was the best thing I could think of saying when she was thinking such nonsense!

True to my character though, I had a horrible habit of not particularly thinking things through before I spoke of them, and my habit ended up doing more bad than good. I hadn't forseen any of this happening. I hadn't even forseen myself making such a serious declaration, not that it wasn't true and not that I hadn't thought about it before that point in time, but I had always imagined a much more attractive scene in my mind than what had played out the previous night. Now I was stuck on the shit receiving end of the deal and I had no one to blame the more I thought about it. Sighing heavily, I pressed the doorbell and waited. Within a minute the door opened and my heart broke at the sight of Cayla. She was wearing one of my ratty t-shirts and my pair of black boxers with pink lips printed all over them. Her hair was disheveled and make-up from the night before was collected under her baggy eyes.

"What are you doing here, Alexander?" her voice was weak as she spoke and kept her stance territorial in the doorway. I could see past her charade though, no matter how hard she was trying to make me see differently.

"My things are here, Cayla. Not to mention my bodyguard."

"You should have called."

"I did. Several times. You didn't answer."

"...Come in," she relented, obviously too tired to think of any quip that could be used against me.

"Thanks..." I awkwardly answered, following her inside and gently shutting the door behind me. She didn't skip a beat moving away from me and heading towards the kitchen, so uncertain, I decided to follow. It wasn't like I was expecting much, but I hoped I was able to at least get her to look at me for more than two seconds, even though her sunken expression hurt me more than I could have possibly expressed.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Cayla asked, pulling a can of coffee grounds from the pantry.

"Please," I replied, watching her movements. Within a few seconds the coffee maker was percolating away and we stood in silence. I cleared my throat and took a step closer. "Cayla? Can we talk?"

"What is there to talk about?" she whispered, crossing her arms snuggly over her chest and refusing the eye contact I was trying to establish.

"I think there's plenty to talk about," I countered, closing the distance between us.

"What if I don't want to talk about it?"

"I just need you to understand some things. After that, if how you feel doesn't change, I'll leave and you won't hear from me again until you want to."

"I can't do this right now, Alexander..." Cayla stuttered as she tried to move around, but I wasn't ready to let her escape just yet and reached to carefully grab hold of her arm. A quiet gasp of surprise flew past her lips and she rigidly froze in place, her bloodshot eyes trained on the kitchen. So distressed she appeared and still I couldn't help but find her absolutely gorgeous.

"Please. Give me a couple of minutes," I replied, reaching out to cup her chin. I gently moved her head up so I could look into her eyes, even if for a moment.

"...Fine. What is it?"

"Are you going to let me say my peace or are you going to run out of this room without hearing me out first?" I questioned her, hating the way she seemed to tremble beneath my touch.

"I'm listening."

"Okay. First off, I want to apologize. Instead of staying calm, I got all caught up in everything. Screaming at each other didn't help."

"I just wanted to go home."

"I know. And I'm sorry. But I didn't want you to leave without knowing how I felt. The truth. I couldn't believe you would believe Claire over me and it threw me for a loop," I replied, removing my hand from her arm and instead lacing my fingers through hers. She was still trembling, but not as bad.

"You don't understand," Cayla whispered.

"Maybe I don't," I tried to agree with her. "But I want to understand and I know what I know. I wish you could understand that."

"Try being in my shoes, Alexander. Regardless of how I see you, everyone else sees you as AJ McLean, popstar and big celebrity. You could have anyone in Hollywood and yet you have chosen me to keep you company. You can't see where I might doubt some things?"

"You have obviously chosen to ignore the fact that I'm no stranger to people not giving a shit about me but only caring about my name and status," I answered calmly, wincing when she yanked her hand away from mine. "And y'know what? It sucks. All of the years I have dealt with it, it has sucked and made my life a living Hell. If there's anyone who has a hard time trusting, it's me. So no, Cayla, I don't need to try to be in your shoes, because I've been in yours a lot. I'm there every fucking day. So if you think I don't understand- God, Cayla, I-"

"I just don't understand how you can... love me. How? What do I have to offer you that other women out there in Hollywood don't have?" Cayla interrupted, running a hand through her locks. "To hear you say that scared the fucking shit out of me."

"What the Hell do you think I could possibly need from you in return? Material posessions? Money? What exactly? 'Cause the only thing I could hope I would get from you is loving me back like I love you. I never thought that would be so much to ask for."

"You could have your pick of gorgeous women, Alexander. You know that. I'm sorry if hearing you're in love with me is a fucking shock!" Cayla snapped.

"I don't want those women. I want you! The beauty you have is the kind that attracts me. You're not like them and I find that amazing."

"I can't be that person you need! We live in two completely different worlds for Christ's sake!"

"Why? Why can't you be that person?"

"Because... I can't!"

"I don't care what you have. I don't care what you don't have," I stepped close to her again and took a chance by wrapping my arms around her. "Before I met you, I was losing faith in everything. I didn't think I would ever be lucky enough to find someone like Howie, Brian and Kev did. I really didn't. Then you came by to talk to us after a show and I knew I had to get to know you better."

"But why?"

"God, Cayla. Can't you see it?" I whispered, looking deep into her eyes. "You make me feel alive."

"I'm not special, Alexander. Your judgement is clouded."

"Stop calling me that. You sound so hateful when you say it."

"Would you rather I call you AJ?"

"No. I want you to call me Alex again."

"I just don't see what you see."

"Why can't you trust me? You did before last night."

"I didn't know what to think or what to trust!"

"Me. For God's sake, trust me!" Going by my instincts, I closed the distance and pressed my lips against hers gently.

"Alex-"

"Please, Cayla," I feebly begged her to listen. "I love you. What do I have to do to make you believe me?"

"I just... I don't understand..."

"What?"

"I honestly don't see what you see. I'm just plain, boring Cayla from Minnesota who works in a warehouse. You're a talented singer and songwriter who has fans all around he world. How are we meant to be?"

I released her, baffled by her ludicrous words, and slowly backing away, I collapsed against the edge of the kitchen counter, burying my suddenly hot face agaist the cool surface. Folding my arms beneath my forehead, I released a distressed breath and for the first time since I had arrived, I realized just how hard my heart was beating, my chest aching. "I'm Alex, born in West Palm Beach, Florida and raised by my mother and my grandparents because my dad was too much of a selfish asshole and couldn't have cared less about me to stick around. I don't have the most ordinary job, too many people know me, but I don't know many people. I enjoy the simple things in life. I'm normal. I-"

"You make people feel comfortable the moment you say hello," Cayla interrupted, placing a hand on my heaving back. "You're sweet, kind and will do anything to make someone you care about smile. You can make her feel like she's the only one for you. That no other woman can hold a candle to her."

"But that's not good enough for you."

"Alex, that's not what I meant. I have never met someone like you. Ever. Don't you think maybe I'm scared? You bring out emotions in me that no other man has and it's terrifying. I don't know how to handle it all."

"And you don't think I don't know how to handle it either? Jesus, Cayla, I-"

"I love you."

"I'm scared to death right now and I-"

"Alex."

"Losing you is something I can't think of-"

"Alex!"

"What, Cayla? What have I said wrong now?"

"You're not listening," she actually laughed, as I stood straight to look at her.

"I'm sorry-"

"I love you, Alex."

"You-"

"I love you," she said again. God, I don't think I could ever tire from hearing those words fall from her lips. Dramatic, I know, but... Hell, I don't need to explain my feelings all the time!

"You love me?" I repeated stupidly, wincing when she reached up to gently brush away several stray tears that had managed to slip down my heated cheeks.

"I love you," a beautiful smile graced her features as she cupped my cheek.

"How did... I thought you... last night..."

"I just needed to think about things. Hearing you talk like that... it made me realize."

"But you were so insistant that I've been lying to you all along-"

"Alex, I made a mistake."

"And it killed me to think that you could so readily shoot me down when I never once harbored any ill intentions, and-"

"Alex, stop and breathe, please-"

"Having to let you go would be impossible, but I was also angry and-"

"Alex!"

"What?" I jumped at her outburst.

"For one, you're rambling. Two, you haven't taken a breath. Three, I made a mistake. I admit that. I was scared and trying to find a way to break it off before I got hurt."

"But I would never-"

"Sweetie, I know. I'm just telling you how I felt."

"But you love me?"

"Yes," she laughed again, her dainty hands cupping both of my cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you," my voice sounded in a near breathless whisper.

"I know," she continued to smile before brushing her lips against mine.

"Are you going to make me leave still?" I mumbled, resting my forehead tenderly against hers just to savor the feeling of the physical connection. I could only hope that I wasn't reading too much into her statements, but after the night before, I had plenty prepared myself for my welcome being worn out. I just wasn't sure if I could handle her actually saying it to my face.
"I couldn't do that. Not to the man I love," she whispered, running her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes for a moment, thankful she didn't want to turn me away.

"Where does this leave us, Cays?"

"I don't know. How... how did Brian, Kevin and Howie handle relationships while doing what you do?"

"They just did. I don't know. They made it work, because they wanted it to-"

"And you want this to work?"

"God, yes-"

"So do I."

"But where do we stand in this relationship?"

"What are you saying, Alex?"

"Is this just casual dating or... I mean, are you and I..." I stumbled with my words, feeling like an awkward high school dork all over again. Realization crossed Cayla's face and I became even more embarassed.

"Alex, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"Please?" I whispered, closing my eyes again and waiting for the rejection I knew had to be coming.

"After all we've been through, how could I say no?" she replied, kissing my eyelids.

"Do you promise?"

"Would you rather I say no?"

"No!"

"Well then I'll say yes. And I promise."

"And I can stay-"

"Good Lord, Alex, how many times do I have to say it?" Cayla laughed, her expression unreadable.

"Don't ever stop saying it."

"I love you. I will be your girlfriend. And if you don't stay, I'll kick your nonexistant ass."

"Hey!"

"Well, you asked didn't you?"

"I didn't ask for such a violent answer, Cayla!"

"Such a drama king," she sighed playfully, rolling her blue-gray eyes.

"Get used to it, sweetheart," a gruff voice interrupted us from the kitchen doorway. Grimacing at the familiar voice, I barely stole a glance back over my shoulder to notice Marcus groggily ambling in. "It's taken us years to learn how to ignore his mood swings, but stick with it and you should get there eventually. Coffee ready?"

"Yes. You know where the sugar and cream is," Cayla replied, pressing a kiss to Marcus' cheek as he walked by her.

"I would like to make a statement. I'm offended-"

"Because Marcus told the truth?"

"Why the Hell are you taking his side?" I cornered her, setting my eyes into a deep glare.

"She's a smart woman," Marcus chuckled.

"You can shut-" I was silenced by Cayla's lips upon mine and any argument melted away with her kisses.

"C'mon. It's time to make up," Cayla smiled, linking our hands together and pulling me towards her bedroom.

"I think I like the sound of that," I grunted, smirking when I noticed Marcus shaking his head.

"Damn nymphomaniacs. Thank God I brought my iPod with me..." he trailed off.

"Do I sense jealousy?" I called back over my shoulder as Cayla pulled me further away, chastising me for my comment.

"Just wait, McLean. Karma can be a bitch," I heard Marcus call after me before Cayla closed the door.

"He's lucky I still keep his ass around-"

"Alexander James McLean. If you finish that sentence the only thing making up with you is Mr. Right Hand. Got it?"

"Wouldn't be the first time-"

"Just shut up and make love to me!" I raised a brow at her, ready to deliver a sharp retort, but before I had a chance, I felt her tugging me roughly with her to the surface of the bed.

"Anxious are we?" I smirked, easily situating my body over hers when she offered me an enticing pout.

"I missed you..."

"But last night at the club-"

"That was just sex... I want to make love," she admitted, her voice bashful and cheeks rosy.

"I didn't think I would ever get to hear you say that," I mumbled, trailing the tips of my fingers along her soft hair to brush a few strands out of her eyes.

"I didn't think I would ever get to say that."

"I love you, Cayla."

"I love you, too. This is only the beginning, isn't it?"

"As long as you're not having second thoughts-"

"Lord, you're going to be the female in this relationship."

"HEY!"

"Not like I would hold that against you-"

"Cayla-"

"Besides, then I'd be the one showering you with gifts whenever you're PMSing-"

"Do you want me to make love to you or not? 'Cause if you're trying to turn me into a woman, I'm gonna lose my hard on-"

"Like you'd give up a chance to be deep inside me," Cayla purred in my ear before nibbling on my earlobe.

"Never, but it makes it a little more difficult if junior goes soft-"

"Alex."

"What?"

"Shut up and-"

"Make love to you, right," I repeated with a tight nod and slowly lowering my head, I allowed our lips to connect in a sensual kiss. There was no way I could possibly describe how much I enjoyed the sensation of her silky skin against mine, and think I had almost lost that right was unfathomable. "I love you, Cays. Don't leave me again."

"I love you, too, Alex. I couldn't leave you if I tried," she replied, wrapping her arms around me. I could feel her nails trace up and down my back and it took all I had not to shiver in delight.

Pressing my lips to hers again, I slowly slipped my tongue inside, taking my time to draw her further into the moment. I knew without a doubt that she wanted the same as I did when she responded with an added fervor, her fingers tangling in my locks of hair to draw me closer. Muttering a string of unintelligible words against her mouth, I allowed one of my hands to blindly roam her body, memorizing every curve I came across. She was so lovely under my touch. "My beautiful..."

"Alex..." Cayla sighed, leaning her head back into the pillow when I brought my lips to her neck for a tender suckle. The taste of her skin always drove me crazy and I trailed my lips down her neck, over her delicate jawline and down past the hollow of her throat. My tongue darted out to trail the outline of her collarbone as my hand located her hip and squeezed it gently, pressing it closer to mine.

"I need you, Cayla," I murmured, my body reacting in more ways than one when she arched her hips to meet me. I nearly gasped at the jolts of electricity that passed between the two of us. It felt as if it had been too long...

"I need you, too," she whimpered, looking deep into my eyes as her breaths quickened. Normally at this point I would be fucking her senseless but that was the last thing I wanted to do. All I craved was slowly making love with her wrapped within my arms.

Not removing my eyes from hers, I carefully eased the familar boxers away from her hips, sliding them down to her ankles and tossing them to the floor. Then I worked to remove my own pants, sighing at the immediate tightening sensation in my groin when she reached between us to help me remove the layer of clothing from my body. I hissed out a long breath of air. "God, Cays..."

"I know. It feels like we haven't done this for so long," she whispered, leaning up to press a kiss under my chin. "If this is what it's like to make love, we're never fucking again."

"You want to go that far?" I forced out a tight laugh as my boxers joined Cayla's on the floor.

"I want to do anything with you, Alex," Cayla mumbled, capturing my lips once more.

"We have all the time in the world to do anything and everything," I promised, settling myself between her smooth, toned legs.

"Show me everything."

"I'll do that and more," I pressed my lips to hers for a deep kiss as I slowly entered her warmth.

"Oh, Alex," she gasped quietly, our eyes still connected as I began a slow, sweet pace that was something I had never felt before. I pressed several kisses along her jawline and down towards her neck.

"You're beautiful, so beautiful..." I continued to breathe against her, my heart increasing as I kept a steady pace of thrusting within her. Of all the times we had taken part in plain mindless fucking, the sensations had never come close this. The connection had never been so deeply emotional, and even though it still terrified me, I welcomed it.

"This feels so... Alex..." she bit her bottom lip and looked even more beautiful. Reaching down, I threaded my fingers through her hair and brought our lips together for a simple yet meaningful kiss.

"Be mine, Cayla," I murmured, a quiet moan escaping my lungs when she drew me deeper into her.

"I'll always be yours," she answered with a sharp gasp and I felt her clench around me.

"Damn...you feel wonderful," I whimpered, driving deeper yet with an aching need.

"Alex, please don't ever stop. This is so good," she whimpered in delight. Her legs wrapped around my waist and moved along with the rhythm I had created. It felt like how our first time should have been... but... I'm a firm believer of better late than never. And I never wanted to miss out on making love with Cayla ever again.

"I couldn't ever stop even if I wanted to-"

"Good, because I haven't felt anything like this before," she admitted, leaning up to kiss the damn vein on the side of my neck. God, she knew which buttons to push.

"Fuck, Cays!" I gapsed, thrusting roughly before I could realize what I was doing as my whole body jolted with a euphoric pressure. I was a sucker for that spot on my neck, the vein that women seemed to go crazy for. I didn't exactly understand that aspect of it, but I knew what it did for me physically and I couldn't have asked for more.

"Alex!" she cried out as well, pulling away from my neck. She threw her head against the pillow and moaned loudly. "Faster!"

"Shit yes," I agreed, and not caring, I quickened the pace of my thrusts, aching for release.

"That's it, Baby... right there... oh GOD!" she arched her back, hitting both her spot and mine. "You feel so good!"

"I can't hold it back," I confessed weakly, grunting as my orgasm drew near.

"Let it go and come with me," she demanded, her nails running all over my back.

"I love you," I declared with a hard pant and thrust into her a final time before I felt my seed explode in a blissful relief.

"I love you, too," she replied as she came right after I did, her walls contracting wildly. She pressed her lips against mine to prevent herself from moaning too loud and I took advantage to drink in her very essence.

It took several moments before I finally collapsed against her, my body drained of energy. But it had never felt so worth it before. "Well?" I looked up at her sheepishly. "How was it?"

"That was... in so many words... amazing," she smiled, her fingers playing with my damp hair.

"I'm staying right here...not moving...ever again..." I decided, planting the side of my face against her chest to regain control of my breathing.

"I would never say no to such a decision," she laughed, now playing with the hairs on the back of my neck. I was content just laying there, listening to her heart slowly return back to its normal rhythm.

"You mean you wouldn't mind me lying here all day, still inside you?"

"Hell no. It's just like that one song... if you lay down, lay down beside me... you can get all inside me and I can get all inside you-"

"Oh God, don't start with that," I groaned, the heat returning to my cheeks, only this time I was shielding my face to hide my embarrassment.

"You mean you won't hump me like you humped the stage? Girls went CRAZY over that stunt, especially with that gauzy, see-through shirt you wore-"

"Cayla!"

"What? I thought it was sexy!"

"Yes, I know, you don't have to constantly tell me how sexy I am-"

"You are so full of yourself!" she laughed, gently smacking my arm.

"Actaully... you're the one who's full of me... if you want to be technical-"

"Alexander!"

"Would you stop with the full name already?"

"Would you start behaving more often?"

"You sound like my mother-"

"She's got a point then," Cayla shrugged as she abruptly pushed me away from her. A yelp of surprise flew past my lips at the uncomfortable sensation that surged into my groin and I found her amused laughter highly annoying as she launched herself from the bed. "Maybe you should listen to her."

"Now you sound like Kevin, Howie and Marcus," I made a face, which caused her to laugh harder.

"Again, they all have a point. And you should listen to them."

"Since when did you become the Advice Queen?"

"Since I met you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you need to get your ass up and take a bath with me."

"Who says I want to take a bath with you?"

"Okay... if you don't want to feel those jets work on your tired muscles... and have another chance to make love amidst the bubbles-"

"Good God, stop with the descriptions or you'll make him hard before we even make it out of the room," I grunted at her as I clumsily rolled out of the bed in a hasty attempt to catch her before she could open the bedroom door and escape.

"You mean I shouldn't mention that I'd-" A squeal emitted from her kiss swollen lips as I wrapped my arms around her and pressed several kisses along the back of her neck.

"Stop being evil or we may not make it to those jets in the tub," I murmured against her skin, my hot breath causing her to tremble in my embrace.

"O-Okay," she easily agreed, turning around to rest her forehead against mine with a grin. "Good thing Marcus has his iPod."

"You're telling me," I rushed her, sending my hand swiftly against her behind to get her moving.

"Alex!" she shrieked with delight as she tiptoed quickly down the hallway towards the master bathroom.

"Hurry and get that bath water running-"

"And make sure Alex shaves that hairy ass of his!" Marcus' voice echoed from the living room.

"Don't lie, Marcus! You know you find this white ass of mine sexy!" I called back to him.

"Pardon me, I need to vomit!"

"Oh, I know deep down you love-"

"Alexander! I'm going to lock the bathroom door in five, four, three-"

"Son of a bitch!" I hissed, skidding to a halt in front of the door when it slammed shut. "Open the door, Cayla!"

"Not a chance, McLean!"

"Let me in!"

"Hmm... nope! You need to do better than that!"

"He's going to take pictures, give them to Nick and Brian... my life as I know it will be over and those two will make me fucking broke because of the blackmail-"

"I've already got a picture I could send to them, y'know?" she sung in a chirpy tone.

"Bullshit!" I countered. "When would you have gotten-"

"Last night, while you were taking a shower to get ready. Got the full package, Sweetheart, so don't tempt me!"

"Cayla Rose! Please let me in!"

"What do I get?"

"That's for no one's ears to hear but ours-"

"Babygirl, please let the poor bastard into the bathroom. His incessant whining is going to give me a migraine!"

"Cayla, c'mon, I'm shriveling up out here!"

Opening up the door, Cayla offered me a devilish smirk of defiance. "You cry worse than a new born baby, y'know?"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Payback's a bitch," I grinned, pushing my way into the door and slamming it behind me.

"ALEX!"

"You play with fire long enough and eventually you're going to get burned, love."

"How are you going to burn me?"

"That my dear, is called element of surprise-"

"Is your element of surprise going to help junior down there?" Cayla continued to smirk as she barely looked downward.

"I don't need much help when I have you naked in front of me."

"Are you sure? Cause's he's looking a little-"

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?" I interrupted her with a sharp scuff.

"Well, let's think about it," her hand trailed down my thigh and rested near my groin. "Normally he's slightly larger-"

"A little more center and-"

"I'm trying to explain something here."

"You're just stalling because you can't think of a good comeback-"

"No?" Cayla raised her brows, the soft pads of her finger tips dancing lightly over my already reawakening erection.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath.

"What's wrong?"

"You tell me."

"I don't think anything is wrong, in fact... I think I'm doing something right."

"You know damn well what you're getting yourself into, woman."

"Maybe I do?" Cayla murmured as she slid closer to me. "Or maybe I don't."

"You do," I breathed, wrapping my arms around her. My lips hungrily sought hers for a deep kiss as she wrapped one of her legs around my thigh.

"I may need to be shown though, for future reference," she purred.

"Do we need a new lesson? Or just a hard review?"

"Both-"

"I hope you remember what you've studied, because we're going to be learning for awhile," I growled, claming her lips once more.