Chapter 8 

I woke up the following morning feeling like shit, I must’ve drank loads the previous night because I didn’t remember much after the blackjack table, in fact, I didn’t really remember anything.  Urgh.  I closed my eyes again and thought of my list, surely I could now cross off number 7, I must have spent an obscene amount to not even remember it! 

1.  Fall in love

2.  Own my own place

3.  The skinny dipping and sex on the beach one

4.  Learn a new language

5.  Ride a scary roller coaster whilst eating or bungee jump or something else equally as scary

6.  Road trip across the USA

7.  Blow a fortune on a single night out

8.  Drive a flash car way too fast (and not get caught)

9.  Swim with dolphins

10. Tell my boss to shove his job up his arse 

“What the hell?” I said to myself as I opened my eyes and realized I wasn’t in my room, at least I didn’t think this was my room.  I rubbed my eyes and opened them again, no this was definitely not my room, I also realized something else – I was naked!   

Oh shit, what happened?  Whose room is this?

I looked around the unfamiliar room and noticed clothes scattered all over the place.  Oh god, this is not good!  I heard the shower running and noticed that the bathroom door was closed.  Maybe if I act really quick, I can be out of here before he comes out. 

I scrambled out of bed, clutching the sheet to my body as I did so.  What on earth?  I felt something stuck against my back and reached around to remove it, only to discover it was an empty condom wrapper.  Gross!  But at least that meant I didn’t have to worry about STDs or getting the morning after pill.  What I did worry about though was who the hell I’d spent the night shacked up with.  How could I have got into a situation where I ended up going back to some random guy’s hotel room?   

Unless…wait a minute…weren’t we playing at the tables with the Backstreet Boys and Take That?  Oh my god, I’ve spent the night with Jason Orange, my dream man!!  If only I could remember it!

 I gathered up my clothes which had been strewn all over the room, and quickly began getting dressed.  Where the hell is my other shoe?  I searched all over the room, picking up what I presumed were his clothes in my search for the missing shoe.  Then I heard the shower stop.  Shit!  I debated whether to just leave the shoe and get the hell out of there, or just stay and face the music.  Before I had a chance to think about it any more, the bathroom handle started to turn. 

Oh…my…god!  What was I thinking? 

Standing there in just a fluffy white towel secured around his waist and water droplets glistening on his toned and tattooed body was not the man I was hoping for.  Oh no, the man standing before me was someone I wouldn’t usually look twice at.   

AJ McLean.   

How the hell did that happen?  He must’ve registered my shock as I stood there, staring for what seemed like ages, my mouth hanging open and my head shaking from side to side. 

“Well good morning to you too Mrs McLean” he said sarcastically. 

Mrs McLean?  What.  The.  Fuck? 

How I’d not noticed the hideous looking skull ring on my wedding finger before now was completely beyond me, but now that he’d said those two words “Mrs McLean” I couldn’t help but stare at my left hand in utter disgust.  Urgh, this had to be some kind of sick joke. 

“This is a joke right?  Where are they?  Izzy…Jess…Chloe, come on, you can come out now, very funny, haha” I said shakily, hoping that this really was a joke. 

“I wish it was just a joke…erm, Steph” he said “but apparently you and I got married last night”.  He waved a piece of paper in front of me and I groaned as I looked at it closer, it was a wedding certificate.  Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!!! 

“But…I don’t remember a thing!  How could you?” I yelled at him. 

“How could I?” he yelled back “I was just as out of it as you Mrs McLean” 

“Urgh, don’t call me that” I shuddered.  How the hell could I have married this man?  Not only that, I’d slept with him too, more than just the once judging by the other empty condom wrappers I spotted dotted around the room.  Yuck! 

“Hey, I don’t like this either but don’t worry, I’m gonna get on to my lawyer once I’ve got dressed and we’ll soon have this mess sorted” he said and I felt a little better.  Maybe no one would ever have to find out about this little fuck up. 

“Hurry up and get dressed then” I snapped at him, I wanted out as quick as possible.

“Jeez, how the fuck did I marry someone like you, I must’ve been really fucking out of it last night” he said under his breath, but I caught it.

“And I must’ve been on another planet last night to marry a man like you!” I spat at him “now please, will you just do what you have to do to annul this before I go home” 

“It will be my pleasure” he said and grabbed some clean clothes out of the wardrobe and threw them on, not even caring whether I saw his naked body when he dropped his towel.  I turned away though, I’d had enough of a shock for one day. 

“Oh god” I groaned as I spotted a DVD cover with the words ‘Mahoney – McLean wedding, Las Vegas’ on the cover. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought” he said “I’m not sure whether I dare watch it” 

“Maybe it’ll help us remember what happened last night” I said curiously.  I really was baffled as to how we’d ended up married. 

“Do we really want to remember it though?” he said. 

“I suppose not, in fact, I’d rather just pretend none of it happened at all” I replied. 

He walked back into the bedroom, muttering something about finding his phone and I dug out my phone from my bag.  I wondered if my friends knew anything about this, and if so, why hadn’t they stopped me?   

Five missed calls and seven text messages. 

I scrolled through the list, they were all from either Izzy or Chloe, none of them mentioned anything about a wedding.  Phew, maybe they didn’t know. I began dialing Chloe’s number as I came across hers first. 

“Steph, thank god!  Where are you?  When you went off to that club with those guys last night and then didn’t come back, we began to worry” she said. 

“I’m fine” I lied.  How could I be fine, I’d married a complete stranger! 

“So” she changed her tone of voice to one of curiosity “whose hotel bed did you wake up in?” 

“Chloe…” I began. 

“Oh my god…was it Jason?  It was, wasn’t it?  Was he good?  I bet he was…you lucky cow” she was rambling on. 

“Erm…no.  It wasn’t Jason…I wish!” I replied and noticed out of the corner of my eye, AJ looking at me.  When he realized I’d seen him, he quickly looked away.  I couldn’t make out whether the expression on his face was hurt or something else.  Shit, he heard me, nice one Steph. 

“Who then?” she asked. 

“Erm, listen Chloe, I’ll talk to you about it later, I have to go now” I said. 

“I want all the details” she said and we hung up. 

I looked over at AJ who was now on the phone, he was kind of good looking, in a different sort of way, especially now that he was covered up and hiding all of those tattoos.  I wasn’t into tattoos at all. He slammed his phone shut and tossed it down “fuck” he muttered. 

“Problem?” I asked. 

“Well, seeing as it’s the weekend, I don’t think we’ll be able to do anything until Monday.  So I’m afraid you’re going to have to be my wife for a little while longer than we both want” he said bitterly. 

“Great” I sighed “look, I’m going to go back to my room, I need to try and get my head around this.  Here’s my phone number, call me later” 

“Sure” he said and I walked out of his room.