“Ok talk to me,” Howie said as he sat beside his sister. “You never come to me unless you have something to tell me,” he finished as he took a seat beside her.
“You know me so well,” she sighed as she leaned on her brother. “I just need someone to listen to me,” she continued as she thought of how to tell her brother her dilemma.
“Ok what’s bugging you now?” he asked as he hugged her.
“Well… its all about my stupid divorce.” She couldn’t help but pout.
“Stupid divorce?” Howie asked sarcastically.
“Are you going to let me talk or are you going to be this annoying?” she asked him knowing well why he was doing what he was.
“I can’t help it Trish I mean I knew you were not ready to give on your marriage but you’re so stubborn you just had to go against everyone else. Now your having seconds thoughts but your afraid to say something because it looks like Alex finally has moved on right?” he asked in a stern voice.
“Right,” she said in resignation. “I kissed him yesterday… he did kiss me back but I don’t know if he only did it to not hurt my feelings. I mean I’ve seen how much he flirts with that Gloria chick.” She said jealousy clear in her voice.
“Gloria?” Howie asked curiously. “Isn’t she his new co-worker? Yeah she’s pretty hot,” he said ducking as he saw Trish through him a punch.
“You’re not helping here,” Trish said annoyed by how Howie was taking her situation.
“Ok sorry but I really don’t think there is anything going on there,” he said giving his sister a warm smile. “My question is why do you complicate your life? Seriously? You love Alex deal with it and stop tormenting yourself.”
“I do love him…” she asserted as she thought of the kiss she had with him only the day before. “That’s not the problem Howie; it’s him he doesn’t seem to care for me as much I care for him. He literally abandoned me after his almost infidelity. I feel like he just doesn’t really care about us he lost interest in me.”
Howie laughed and then cleared his throat, “do you remember the fight at Ceasario’s at all? Alex loves you or loved you…” he said hesitantly not really believing Alex’s bullshit about giving up on his sister.
“What should I do?” she asked him finally hugging her brother. “I mean I want to run back to his arms and pretend that nothing has happened yet I also want to see if maybe I was meant for something else? I don’t want to be unhappy that is for sure.”
“But you are unhappy Trish, look at yourself? Alex makes you happy yeah you guys are always arguing about something but we are all used to that. We are also very used to your very passionate make up sessions. Face you and Alex work in some bizarre out of this world way.” Howie said patting her sister on the shoulder. “So stop being a baby and go and have some hot make up sex with your husband. It’s ok to admit that you love him, wait no make up sex yet he’s ill.”
*******
Alex smiled as he sat in the sand. He hadn't been able to forget his kiss with his wife, how was she going to explain that one? He giggled as he pictured her flustered as she tried to make an excuse on the kiss, which he would have to pretend to believe. He didn’t know how much longer he could play this roll of acceptance. He finished his cigarette as he took in the late morning son. “Man I need to get well soon I need to work out.” He told himself as he realized he had gained some pounds his moms home cooking was not helping either.
“I don’t see how you could say that? I still see you the same,” Howie said as he walked toward him. “Nice… loving your new home,” he said as he sat beside his friend.
“Thanks, nice to see you…” Alex said smiling at his friend. “So what brings you here?”
“Well Trish was coming to help like usual and I just decided to tag along. It is my day off… you should feel special I decided to come see you.” Howie said as he took in the view.
“Trish is here already?” Alex asked with more excitement than he really wanted to show.
“Yep she’s with your mother. I was told you were down here so here I am.” Howie said turning to face his friend. “So how’s the fractured rib?”
“It’s still painful but tolerable I can’t wait to get this cast taken of my leg…” Alex knew Howie was not here only to ask about his health. “Ok enough of the small talk I am sure you know well how I am. What do you have in mind Howie spit it out?”
Howie sighed, “You know so well,” he said laughing a little.
“Hey we’ve known each other long enough to know a lot about each other.”
“True,” Howie said taking another sigh. “Ok your right I want to know what are you planning to do about my sister and you. I mean you should know I know about the kiss right?”
Alex giggled and nodded, “I knew you would and I didn’t have anything to do with that. It was all her and I can’t deny I enjoyed it. But I have no say in what that does for our relationship, I mean I was serious if she wants to only use me I will take that… heck I have agreed to only be good friends.” He shrugged, “at this point Howie if she only wants to use me I will take it. I don’t have an objection you could say.”
Howie took in Alex’s answer, “She still loves you…”
“I only hope that she still does and finally forgives me but until then I am whatever she wants me to be for her.” Alex said finally realizing that maybe the words coming from his mouth were true. He would only safe place for her to come when she is afraid of her new life. He shook his head trying to not picture that.
“She wants to be with you still but she is stubborn you know she has the Dorough blood.” Howie said laughing. “Now come on I am suppose to help you get back in.”
*******
“Thanks,” Alex said as he took the bowl of ice cream from her hands.
“Your welcome,” Trish said rubbing the back of her neck contemplating the door her exit to another part of the house. “Do you need anything else?”
“Uhm no I’m good… where’s mom and Howie?” he asked curiously noticing how nervous she looked.
“Well very conveniently Denise went to walk the dogs and Howie went to get something’s your mom needed at the grocery store.” She said sighing heavily.
“Oohh,” Alex said smiling now knowing that Trish was very aware that his mother also knew about the kiss. “Well that’s nice of him,” he said taking a spoon full of ice cream. As he watched Trish he smiled she was beautiful but lately she was looking even better. “Can I ask you something with no offense?”
Trish eyed him curiously, “Ok.”
“Have you gained weight? I mean you don’t look fat you just look fuller and it suits you well,” he said smiling at her.
“I don’t know if I have…” she told him feeling a little embarrassed. “Great I should start working out.”
“No I mean you look fine very fine actually…” he gave her a sly smile and then took another spoon to his mouth. After swallowing he spoke again, “Really you look fine you shouldn’t worry about it.”
“Alex we need to talk,” Trish said after she recovered from his words. She sat on the edge of his bed trying not to hurt him. “What happened yesterday…? I am sorry about that I don’t know what came to me… I mean we are so used to each other you know and then all of a sudden we are getting a divorce… so I am trying to adapt to my new life and well yesterday for an instant I still saw myself with you.” she stopped talking and looked down to avoid his stare.
“Is that something bad to still see yourself with me?” he asked as he placed his bowl of ice cream on the bed side table.
“Yes!!! I mean I know you’re moving on and I am moving on… this only throws us back to something that just will never happen.” She said regretting every word she said.
“It would have happened,” Alex said trying not to sound hurt by her words. “I tried but you don’t want so I am trying to move on your right… Gloria is a really nice girl and we have a lot in common just like I am sure that kid you’re dating does. Cause I know for a fact your not going back to Tony you’ll die of boredom…”
Trish laughed only to hide the pain she felt when Alex confirmed that Gloria was becoming someone special in his life, “Yeah no Tony…”
*******
She felt her head pound as she walked into the restroom, “Ok I really should not drink,” Trish said as she went straight in for a shower. After leaving Alex’s house and realizing he was moving on she went to drown her sorrows with Simone her drinking buddy.
She couldn’t believe she had actually tried every drink Simone had given her but she had to put a stop to it when she also offered her help in the men department….
[Flash Back]
“Come on don’t be all holy now have some fun… look at him Trish he’s hot and I bet he can make you forget whatever is bugging you.” Simone told her as she down another shot.
“No… its not about that Simone its about principals I don’t do one night stands!” Trish said firmly.
“Ok your loss but I must say good bye I do have my eyes on one of them… you’ll be ok getting home?”
“Just fine,” Trish said as she stood up and hugged her. “You enjoy…” she winked at her friend and walked out of the bar.
[End of flashback]
The last thing she remembered is barely making it into the apartment…
Chapter End Notes:
ok for those who have been reading this story and wondered where it had gone here is an update... I had erased all my stories but I am starting to put them back up little by little. So please let me know what you think.
