you really show rich imagination, but I think u have to take care of ur style- u jump from one time and place to another; as someone before wrote- about the plot holes... why aren't there any dots and commas? the whole text was really confusing that way and I had to read whole paragraphs over and over until I get it. There were a bunch of typos, which were messing the sense of it all even more. spots that u write about a guy, then happens to be a girl. too many song quotations... otherwise it was pretty good- kept me reading :) maybe if u start by structuring the whole story, u'll tie the lose ends and get the best of it :)
why were they all crying or sobbing all the time? girls like to see guys crying over them, but guys cry only when no1 else can see. and the chapter where Nick sees Anna with Aaron, right afterwards Morgan sees them too- it's a little too much. At times I had a feeling that Anna wasn't sure which guy from ALL the gorgeous fellas round to choose, and somehow Nick's character was left behind, just mentioned that he was present. There were a few characters that were left with no background- who were they, where they came from, how did they know Anna. I felt as if ur brain was thinking faster than ur hands could type :) u'r a Twilight fan- try to re-read it and take from it the way things follow one another, the way chapters are left in suspans, the way characters develop

keep writing, u've got talent just need more practice and to organize ur thoughts. I'd love to read more. saw ur newest- it's much better, but had to tell u about this one :)

Author's Response: lol Thanks I was only like 15 when I wrote this and it was like my first attempt at writing something and envutally I'm going to go back and redo the whole story cause its a good idea but the way it was written kind of sucks...but if you have anything else to add on how to improve I'd love to hear it! :D