“Madeline, can you come down here for a minute?” I heard my Dad, Donnie call from the kitchen.

“Coming Dad.” I replied as I got up from my desk where I was writing the thankyous for the album I was preparing to release.

 I went into the kitchen and found Dad and all his New Kids on the Block bandmates sitting around drinking beer.

“Hey guys, what’s happening?”
“Maddy, we know you’re preparing to release your album, so we were thinking, do you want to audition to be our opening act?” Jordan, one of the guys asked.

“That’d be an awesome oppurtunity.”

“We’d let you be the opening act regardless but you have to auditon cause the BackStreet Boys have an idea for an opening act as well.” Dad said reassuringly.

“Who?” I asked.

“Jordin Sparks.”

“There’s no way I’d be better than her! She’s incredible and she won American Idol. I’m just a girl from Boston who appears to be using her family name to get famous.”

“That is a load of bull shit Madeline. You are incredibly talented. You have been working on your talent for twenty years and you deserve every amount of fame you get. You’ve stayed in the background and worked quietly. Now is your time to shine. You just have to prove to the BackStreet Boys that you’re a million times better than Jordin Sparks, which you are.” Dad reassured me.

“Thanks Pop.”

My name is Madeline Wahlberg, I was born on November 8 1988 to Donnie Wahlberg and Jamie Maddison. Dad and my Mum split when I was three. I went and lived with Dad, even though he was on tour with the boys. Jordan, Jonathan, Danny and Joey were like brothers to me. They treated me like a little sister. They let me hang out with them on stage when they were doing soundchecks and I got to go into the studio with them. Jordan used to give me piano lessons and singing lessons and so did Dad. Things started to change in 1992. Dad started dating my Step-Mum, Kim and she took over everything. It was all about what she wanted and what she wanted to happen at home. I never minded all the screaming girls that followed Dad and the boys but I honestly never liked Kim.

In 1993, my stepbrother Xavier was born, I was five and Dad and the boys started seeing less and less of each other. I remember I kept asking Dad if I could go to Jordan’s house or Joey’s house but he kept saying I had to stay at home and help look after Xavier. Dad kept giving me singing lesson and piano lessons. When he and the boys broke up the band, things got very quiet in the house. My uncle Mark always dropped by with presents, he was the cool one out of my Dad’s siblings but I think it’s because he and Dad were always close. Uncle Mark used to take me to LA with him when he had film premiers.

In 1999, my worst nightmare came true, after seven years my Dad married Kim. I was eleven at the time and dressing up in a little white dress to be a bridesmaid was not my idea of fun. I was a tomboy and one of the boys. I always wore shorts and singlets and sneakers, played baseball and football in the backyard with Dad and rode motorbikes on weekends for fun and played basketball. Kim wanted me to be a girly girl no matter how much I protested, she made me wear make up and pink. Dad was starting to wonder why I never went out and played Baseball with him anymore or ride the motorbikes Kim wouldn’t let me. I had to start acting like a lady. I wasn’t allowed out to parties or anything like that. Dad always used to wonder why I just spent my weekends in my room watching TV or doing homework.

When my other stepbrother, Elijah was born, I decided to rebel. I was thirteen. I don’t think you can be a Wahlberg and not rebel; it’s in our genes. So I’d sneak out or get Dad to take me to parties without Kim finding out. It never really ended well. In 2006 when I was seventeen nearly eighteen, my dream came true; Dad and Kim started fighting all the time, and one day Dad took Xavier, Elijah and I and we left and stayed at our Uncle Mark’s for a couple of weeks. When the court order came through, my name was nowhere to be seen. Kim only wanted full custody of Xavier and Elijah. When Kim and Dad divorced in early 2008, Kim got shared custody of the boys. I was twenty then but still living with Dad. He had brought an amazing mansion on Boston and he fitted it out with a studio for us to use and he told me that I could start recording my own album. So I’ve spent the last two years recording my own album. Dad helped me write and record the album, he’s a really good writer.

However, I have found that since I turned eighteen he has become really overprotective. I went to college for two years to study Drama because I found as I was growing up, acting was a good release along with music and in that time I brought one guy home, his name was Brodie. He was my age and was from Australia. He was absolutely amazing, he was so caring and kind to me but Dad managed to scare him off. Maybe that was a good thing, I’ve seen his facebook lately and he’s turned into a complete docuhe so I’m glad that ended.

Ever since the New Kids signed up for the joint tour with the BackStreet Boys, it has brought me back to my childhood love of boybands like the BackStreet Boys and Nsync. I found all my old CDs I had collected over time and had begun listening to them. I was into alternative, indie music and a bit of old rock music as well. My album I was writing was going for a more edgy pop feel,

Maddy is my eldest, she is five years older than my son Xavier who was born to my ex-wife Kim. Maddy was born in 1988 to my girlfriend Jamie Maddison. We split when Maddy was three because my touring was getting too much for Jamie so I told her I’d take Maddy. I haven’t heard from her since. While I was married to Kim, I noticed Madeline’s attitudes to her personality and appearance changed. She went from having cropped hair to long wavy hair, wearing make up and acting like a princess. She used to play basketball, ride motorbikes, play baseball and football with me and my brother Mark. I realised what was happening when she was about thirteen. Kim was forcing her to act like a girl, she knew Maddy was a tom boy, it was just the way she was brought up hanging around my bandmates. Now she is twenty-two and is back to her old self, hanging with the boys. She has completed a two year degree in Drama at Boston University and is now working on her solo album with a bit of help from the boys and I. We really want her to open on the NKOTBSB tour we’re doing with the BackStreet Boys but the BackStreet Boys seem keep to have Jordin Sparks. So we’re going to put Maddy and Jordin to a panel of judges. I had a feeling Maddy would be picked, I just had to work intensly with her leading up to it and also help her finish off the album AND focus on the tour at the same time AND work on my TV show Blue Bloods. Life as Donnie Wahlberg is never relaxing, let me tell you now!

Nick Carter’s Point of View

“Brian, why is Donnie insisting that his daughter is our opening act? No one even really knows who she is. I’ve never seen her in the tabloids and I’ve never heard her music.” I sighed as we sat around Brian’s lounge room discussing our part of the NKOTBSB tour.

We had decided we’ like Jordin Sparks as the opening act but the New Kids on the Block kept insisting that Donnie’s daughter Maddy should be our opening act because she was an up and coming singer. Our debate to that was, Jordin is a better-known singer and will amp up the crowds better for when we all come out to perform because we have found that if we open with lesser known bands, the crowds are disappointed. We struck a deal with the boys that we would let Donnie’s daughter audition and Jordin would too. The tour manager was going to decide the person who will be opening for the tour.

“You know Nick, you could end up being friends with her if she comes on the tour. Don’t judge her so fast. You’ve never met her before.” Howie replied.

“Shut up Howard.”
“Nick, we know you’re bitter because you broke it off with Lauren but just be a bit more open please. This isn’t just our tour. Who knows, maybe Maddy could be hot and you could fall head over heels for her and realise Lauren was a total bitch and you don’t miss her at all.” AJ suggested.

I had just broken up with my girlfriend of two years, Lauren Kitt about a week or so ago because the guys didn’t like her and you can’t really work in the environment I do and be in a relationship with someone who your best friends don’t like. I was bitter, yes but I realised life had to go on. I was thirty and mature. I don’t need the guys reminding me of my mistakes every day. I’m so tired of it.

Maddy’s Point of View

 I went back upstairs and tried to finish off my album thank yous. On my computer screen I had up old album thank yous from the NKOTB albums as ideas for what to say. Dad always had the bible passage at the start of his thank yous. My brothers and I were brought up Catholic but once I turned eighteen I stopped going to Church. I figured why pursue something if I really don’t believe it? Dad didn’t mind, he told me it was my life and I could do and believe what I like.

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experience, but that's not where I live.  – Marilyn Monroe

Being a Wahlberg has never been easy but for every tear and every happy moment, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Now at twenty-two, being a Wahlberg is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not for the fame, but for the feeling of family. My Dad is the most loving Father ever, he would do anything for his kids and he has helped me so much over the years. Through all the sport competitions and the music lessons, the friendship dramas and the boy dramas, he has always been there. My Uncle Mark, he’s been there for me at times when I couldn’t tell Dad anything, he’s taught me all I need to know about acting and how to be a Wahlberg. My two step-brothers Xavier and Elijah, thank you for dealing with all my crazy issues and thanks for all the talks late at night and all your input on this album. To Jordan, Jonathan, Danny and Joey, thank you for being a second family, for being there through everything, for answering all my late night phone calls, for letting me have some input in your albums and for all the music lessons. It’s thanks to you guys I am where I am today. To all the people at Interscope Records, thank you for believeing in me and not just signing me because I’m “Donnie Wahlberg’s Daughter”. I’m going to prove to everyone that I’m not a spoilt girl whose using her Dad’s fame to become famous. Thanks to everyone who buys this album, I hope you enjoy this album and can relate to it because that’s what the whole point of writing music is for me, for everyone to relate with it somehow. It doesn’t matter if it relates to an old relationship, a new one, your family, a friendship, a hard time you went through or even a happy time. Just enjoy the music because there is so much more to come.

Lots of love for always,

Madeline Wahlberg xx

I emailed the thank yous to Dad to send off to Interscope and I went downstairs again and sat at the breakfast bar with the boys.

“Okay so Maddy, we need to come up with some auditon material. You so deserve this opening slot.” Jonathan said enthusiastically.

“When is the audition?” I asked.

“Two days…” Dad replied quietly.

“Two days?! What?”

“Well we need to have all the details for the tour by Fridays so we have three days and that way you have a day to find out and we have a day to organise it and work it into schedules.” Jordan sighed, “It’d be so much easier if they just listened to us and let us have you open.”

“It’ll all workout in the way it’s meant to happen.” I replied.

“So Maddy, you need to perform two songs. I’m thinking you should do Fantasy and your version of Two in the Morning.” Dad suggested.

“Who is actually judging the auditions?” I asked.

“The tour manager, so there’s no bias.” Danny reassured me.

“Alright, that’s okay then.”
“Tomorrow we’re going to take you to meet the BackStreet Boys so it won’t be as awkward.” Joey said before he took a sip of his beer.

“Brilliant, because I totally want to meet the guys who don’t want me to open for them because I’m just a nobody.”
“Maddy, they’re actually really nice guys. You’re just going to have to talk Nick around. He’s a bit of a douche sometimes. It’s more Nick than the others you’re going to have to talk around. He has a bit of a bee in his bonnet at the moment cause he broke up with his girlfriend.” Jonathan reassured me.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I sat up in Dad’s studio out the back of our property just playing around on my guitar, practicing for the audition. I was actually really nervous about meeting the BackStreet Boys. As a childhood fan, it was always a dream of mine to meet them. At premieres with my Uncle Mark, I always saw them in the distance but I never introduced myself. I mean who would want to meet a simple girl from Boston?

I heard footsteps coming towards the studio. I looked out the window and there was Dad coming towards the studio. I kept playing and when he walked in, he sat next to me on the couch.

“Are you alright gorgeous?” Dad asked.

“I just can’t sleep and thought I’d better practice for the audtion.”

“I have a feeling it’s more than that. I read your thank yous before. They’re really good. But seriously Madeline, is there something more going on?”
“No Dad, I’m fine.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know Dad. I promise I’ll tell you if something is up. I’m just nervous about the audition is all.”
“You’ll ace it baby. You deserve it more than Jordin does. This will sky rocket your career. Hers has already hit the big time.”

“Dad, maybe she deserves this more than me. I have never performed in front of a big crowd, she has.”
“It’ll be good practice for you.”

I put my guitar down and just snuggled in Dad’s arms. I know I’m too old for this but  sometimes there are just times when I need a hug from my Dad.

“Baby girl, I know things are starting to become hectic and everything and I promise I’ll be here every step of the way.”
“Thanks Dadda. I’ll go to bed now.”
“Good idea baby, it’s three in the morning. We’ll head off to meet the boys at ten okay?”
“Alright, when do Xavier and Eli get back from Kim’s?” I asked.

“They’re staying for another three weeks. They don’t get back until your birthday.”
“Oh brilliant.”
“Yeah I know right, she knows how to ruin everything.” Dad sighed.

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“Madeline, come on. Wake up!” I heard my Dad say the next morning. I groaned and rolled over to go back to sleep.

“We have to meet them in ten minutes.” Dad replied in response to my groan

“Well I need sleep.”
“Do you want to get ready or will I have to drag you in your pyjamas?” Dad said.

“Fine… I’m getting up.” I replied. “Now go away.”
“No, not until you litterlly remove yourself from the bed because I know you’ll go back to sleep.”

I sat up and got out of bed.

“There, happy Dad?”
“Happy. It’s lovely to know you get more pleasant in the morning with age Madeline… NOT!” Dad teased.

“Hey, I’m a Wahlberg.”

“Baby, you need to wear jeans and a nice shirt okay? Make a good impression.”
“I will, I will. But I’m beautiful anyway!” I coaxed.

“Get ready Madeline. I’ll be downstairs, we’re leaving in ten.”

“Grr.”

When Dad left the room, I looked in my wardrobe for something to wear. I eventually found my skinny Sass and Bide Jeans and a grey and white stripped business shirt and my black Peeptoe heels and changed. Thankfully I had showered the night before so that was one less problem I had to deal with. I checked my hair in the mirror to make sure it looked half decent. I had only recently cut it into a little brown pixie cut, which took a bit of getting used to. I put foundation on then went back to my room and put my wallet, phone and house key into my bag and went downstairs to meet Dad.

“Come on Maddz, let’s go.”

We pulled up at a dance studio in downtown Boston and went inside. Jordan, Jonathan, Danny and Joey were all sitting around talking to the BackStreet Boys.

“Boys! What’s up?” Dad said as we walked in

“Hey Donnie, who’s this pretty lady?” Brian Littrell flirted.

“Brian, you are a married man. This is my daughter Madeline. Maddy this is Nick, Brian, Howie and Alex.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” I smiled.

We sat around talking about music and what sort of things I write about.

“Sing for us quickly Maddy.” Howie asked.

“Really? You don’t want to wait until tomorrow?”
“No, I want to hear you now. Come on!” Howie encouraged.

I stood up and I thought in my head about which song I should sing for them. I saw a piano sitting in the corner of the room and sat down and began to play and sing.

Six thousand miles at once can’t focus on one
Seven days a week but my life has just begun
So caught in emotion and I’m overcome
As I’m falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel llke I’m alone
Sometimes I feel like I’m not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Some times I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel, a little fragile

In six thousand years what will all this mean
A worse from a height or a melody
So caught in emotion and I’m over come
AS I’m falling down I come undone

Sometimes I feel llke I’m alone
Sometimes I feel like I’m not that strong
Sometimes I feel nothing at all
Some times I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel, a little fragile

If people could see right through my eyes
Like an open door that I can’t disguise
I won’t be afraid for the tears I cry
I’ll not run I’ll not hide
This is how I feel inside
A little fragile

A little fragile

Sometimes I feel llke I’m alone
Sometimes I feel like I’m not that strong
Sometimes I feel so frail so small
Some times I feel vulnerable
Sometimes I feel, a little fragile

I looked over at all the boys, they were sitting on the ground awestruck.

“Okay do we really need the audition?” Brian asked.
“Nope. Maddy you’re hired!” AJ replied.
“Yep, Maddy you were incredible. We have never heard anything like that before. Donnie where have you been hiding her?”
“Boston University man! She just finished a two year Drama degree.”
“Why Drama? You’re an amazing singer?” Nick asked me.
“Drama has always been one of my passions, being Mark Wahlberg’s niece and Donnie Wahlberg’s daughter and all. But Music has always been number one. Plus I didn’t get into a music course where I wanted to so I went with Drama.”
“Fair enough. Well you now have a job for the next six months!” Howie smiled.
“What about Jordin?”
“We’ll tell her what happened and maybe just get her in for one show if you need a break cause you probably will.” Joe told me.

“Awesome. Thank you so much!!! I owe you all big time.”
“It’s no problem at all. Welcome to the NKOTBSB tour.” Nick smiled and hugged me.

“Thanks.”

I hung out with the guys for the day, watching them rehearse their dance moves that were so fluid and well put together. Getting to know the BackStreet Boys was really good. I got along best with Brian Littrell and Nick Carter. Brian was such a sweetheart and he offered to write songs with me and he said he would help me rehearse. Nick was just fun, he spent half the time screwing around with Jonathan and Dad and teasing Jordan. During their breaks, Nick and I would sit down and talk about each other and our musical tastes. As rehearsals carried on into the night, I began coming up with songs I would open up with.

After rehearsals finished at about ten that night, we all went to the nearest McDonalds and sat around talking for an hour or so.

“Listen Maddie, I’ll drop you home, we’re going to go back to Nick’s hotel room and play some Nintendo.”
“Don’t you want me there?” I asked.
“We just didn’t think you’d want to hang out with nine old guys. You can come if you want.” Dad replied.
“Yes please!”

“Alright, let’s go then!” Jonathan said.

I sat on the bed as the boys battle it out on the Nintendo, it was pretty late. I didn’t want to admit I was tired so I just sat there, smiling at the boys and their competitive nature. Dad turned around at one point to see me laying down starting to drift off to sleep.

“Maddie, if you’re tired Nick won’t mind if you go to sleep in his bed and I’ll wake you when we are ready to go home.”
“Yeah, go ahead Maddie.” Nick replied.
“I’m having fun watching you guys.” I smiled.

“No, go to sleep Maddison. It’s fine.” Nick said.

I did what I was told, which I can’t believe I’m doing at twenty-two. I dozed off pretty much straight away, hearing the sound of the boys yelling at each other and the sound of buttons tapping.

When I woke up, I woke up to an arm draped over me. I sat up with a fright. Then looked down to see a blond haired head laying peacefully. Of course, Dad left me here for the night. With a handsome guy I barely know.

I reached over to the bedside table and looked at my phone. It was only five in the morning.

Hey sweetie, sorry I left you there but you seemed so peaceful. Go with Nick to rehearsals. I’ll bring you a change of clothes. Sorry we were so loud. Love you. Dad x

I went into the bathroom and had a quick shower, and changed back into the clothes I had worn yesterday. I went back out into the bedroom to find Nick still sound asleep, so I went out onto the balcony and watched the sunrise.

I went back inside once the sun had risen and I curled back next to Nick for a while, actually dozing off. I was woken by the sound of my phone at about eight o’clock. Nick began to stir too. I checked to see who it was. Of course, it was Dad.

Hey chicken, hope you’re awake. If Nick isn’t up can you wake him cause rehersals are at 9 and we were going to meet for brekky at 8:30. Love ya, Pa.

“Who was that?” Nick asked half asleep.
“My Dad. We’re meeting in half an hour for breakfast, so get your big butt up and shower.”
“Okay.” Nick replied as he got out of bed and went over to his suitcase.

“How’s your head this morning after all those Rum and Cokes?”
“Sore, but it’s a big day of rehearsals today. We’re running through the whole show from start to finish, choreography and vocals.”
“Oh man, that is tough. Well quick, we have fifteen minutes til we need to be at breakfast by the time you shower stinky boy.”

“Admit it, it’s sexy.”
“Now why would I ever find you sexy Carter? You’re not my type.”
“Oh really? Now what is your type?”
“Let me see, guys who aren’t self absorbed pricks who won’t give people a chance, guys who are actually sweet to girls and who aren’t blond.”
“Wow, picky.”
“I’m a Wahlberg. I’m allowed to be.”

When we finally got to breakfast, Dad looked like he had the worst hangover in the universe, he handed me a duffel bag with some clothes in it. I took it into the restaurant bathroom to change. Ahh Dad, you know what I like to wear. He had packed my dance pants and a black t-shirt and inside the duffel bag were my ballet Pointe shoes and jazz shoes. Oh yeah this is something I never admitted before, I am also a dancer. I have been doing Ballet since I was two years old, I don’t really like to admit it, it ruins my tough image. However to inhance my performance I actually want to have a bit of dancing.

I went back out to where everyone was sitting for breakfast and saw that Dad had ordered me Pancakes and ice cream.

“Are you trying to make me fat, old man?” I teased.
“No, I just know what you like.” He smiled.

When we eventually got to the studio, I went off into a different room and practiced some ballet to incorporate into my performance. I was so entranced in my performance that I didn’t realise Nick was watching me from the door.

“I didn’t know you could dance.” Nick smiled.
I got a fright and turned around.
“Oh hey. Yeah I’ve been doing ballet since I was two. But shh, don’t tell anyone it’ll ruin my reputation.”
“What reputation?”
“My bad girl reputation.”
“You, a bad girl? As if”
“It’s part of my whole sex appeal.” I teased.
“Oh really?”
“No not really, I have the sex appeal of a potato.”
“It’d have to be one sexy potato.”
“You’re hilarious Carter. Surely you have rehearsals to do?”
“Break time. Listen, do you want to go out clubbing with me tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah sure, why not.”
“Awesome, so I’ll pick you up at nine?”
“Is my Dad going?”
“No, just Jonathan, AJ, Jordan and I.”
“Yeah alright, that sounds like heaps of fun.”

Later on during the day, we all sat down and discussed the set list for the tour. The boys needed by setlist so they could organise the band for me. I was allowed six songs, so I chose the six I am best at singing. Four of my songs and two covers

1)    Angel with Devil Wings

2)    Fragile

3)    Mistakes (Delta Goodrem & Brian McFadden cover)

4)    You Said

5)    I’ll Be Fine

6)    Electricity (From Billy Elliot)

During the instrumental in Electricity I would display my dancing. Electricity is one of my favourite songs and relates to me so well. If I was a guy, I’d want to try out for that musical, just to sing that song. Dad nodded approvingly at my set list and told me to go home and get some sleep before I went out that night. After all, if it’s a night out with Jordan and Jonathan it was guaranteed to be a huge night.