It was a cold New England fall day with the wind blowing, Danielle just got off her five hour shift where she was working. She was working at a retail store that just opened up in the area where she was living. She was tired and just wanted to go home and sleep. She knew that wasn’t going to happen because her friend Brayden was picking her up. Chances of Braydan bringing her straight home were very slim to none. They always went somewhere after she got out of work on the days he picked her up.
Brayden had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He wasn’t super skinny but he wasn’t obese either. He had a smile that captured a girl’s heart. Danielle only knew Brayden for three months, but she felt like she knew him for a lifetime. She loved the way he made her feel. He made it so that she could get out of herself. She was normally shy, quiet and kept to herself most of the time. The only other person in the world that took her out of herself was her best friend, Nick Carter. Unfortunately for her he wasn’t around as much as he used to be, that’s because he was a part of a mega super music group called The Backstreet Boys. He was the youngest member of the group. They did a lot of tours, and right now he was in Europe touring. She missed him a lot. They got a little closer the last time he was home right before this leg of the tour. It was always hard for her to say goodbye to him, because she knew he wouldn’t be just around the corner if she needed him. That is why she liked having Brayden around; he was there for her when she needed him especially in Nick’s absence.
Nick and Danielle talked two nights ago, but the phone call turn into a fight in no time. He got all freaky about Brayden, and that was the last time she talked to him. It was killing her to not text him or call him to say hi. She had so much to tell him, however he wasn’t talking to her. She was stubborn sometimes too, especially when it came to fighting with someone. She didn’t want to be the first one to talk for she thought it showed a sign of weakness. When it came to Nick though, she hated it when he would get mad at her. Nick didn’t like Brayden since the day he met him. It’s hard at times for Danielle because they both are her best friends. She is in love with Brayden though. The only person that knows that was Nick. The moment she told him she was in love with Braydan, he got all big brother on her. She didn’t know why Nick was getting all freaky about it; she wasn’t going to end up with him for Braydan was with Jessalynn.
Jessalynn is the typical stereotypical girl that always gets the guys she wants to be with. Danielle wanted to hate Jessalynn with every fiber of her being for she had everything she wanted. Jessalynn not only had the guy she also had the looks, the long straight blonde hair, 5’7 and the most beautiful deep green eyes. Danielle couldn’t hate her even if she tried because with the perfect appearance, also came her personality which was just as perfect. Danielle was the complete opposite. She had dark brown hair, deep blue eyes and about 5’4. She wasn’t skinny at all, as a matter of fact she struggled with weight her whole life, and if anything she wished she could change it was her weight and looks.
Nick hated how she tore herself apart. He would get so mad at her every time she would say something about it. Braydan on the other hand would just tell her to do something about it. Braydan didn’t know how to be sensitive sometimes. It had to do with his upbringing. He came from a broken home just like Danielle did. Danielle swears that was one of the reasons she held on to him, for he got her when it came to that. Nick did too, but he always seems to be away lately every time something bad happened with her family. She knew it wasn’t his fault, seeing how it was his job. However it didn’t make it any easier, when her parents would be yelling nonstop and fighting over the smallest things.
HONKKKKKK….
Danielle nearly jumped right out of her skin. It was Jessalynn and Braydan. She was so happy to see them, because she was starting to fall asleep on the foot of the sidewalk in front of the retail store. She got up and hopped in the car.
“How was work?” Jessalynn turned around and asked?
“Eh it was work.” Danielle said abruptly.
“Well are you ready to go to a party with us?” Braydan asked looking through the rearview mirror.
The truth was Danielle just didn’t feel like going out on this Friday night. All she wanted was to go home and sleep. She knew that going to the party was the only way she could hang out with Braydan though. So she shook her head, and smiled a fake smile and said “let’s go!”
They arrived at the party, and of course most of the people there were already drunk or on their way to becoming drunk. She just didn’t feel like dealing with a lot of the drunken people tonight. She didn’t want to deal with the drama that sometimes happens when drinking was involved.
Danielle looked across the room and of course she sees her number one enemy of all time, Jennifer. Jennifer and Danielle have never gotten along; Jennifer always went out of her way to humiliate Danielle, than add alcohol and Danielle knew this was going to be a long night. She knew from the bottom of her heart that it was mainly because she was so close to Nick, and Jennifer hated the idea that Nick wanted to spend so much time with her. All of a sudden Danielle wanted to hide for she realized that Jennifer was walking over to her. She knew this wouldn’t end well that it could end in two ways- a chick fight or with Danielle running away crying.
“Look what the ugly fairy dropped in?” She said holding her red solo cup in the air.
Be strong Danielle, she repetitively said to herself. She just wants a reaction from you. Don’t let her win. You’re better than her. She couldn’t help it though, for she blurted out, “I guess it was because she was working overtime before she dropped you off.” that felt good Danielle thought.
Ohhhhhh burn! You heard one of the by standers say. She knew that Jennifer was looking for a fight. She wasn’t going to give in so Danielle just smiled and walked away.
“w..We are not done with this conversation!!” Jennifer yelled.
“Umm I think we are.” Danielle shouted back.
“Oh my god, Danielle you finally stood up to dirt bag. Good for you.” Braydan said giving Danielle a hug. As she was giving him a hug, the smell of Braydan’s cologne took over her body. She couldn’t help but turn her head into him and take a whiff of his sweet ADIDAS spray.
As Danielle detached from the hug, and started walking away she felt her phone go off in the pocket of her gray New England Patriots sweat shirt that she was wearing. She put her hand in her pocket and grabbed it out, as she read the name Nick on the screen.
Finally! She thought. It’s only been three days since he bothered to talk to her. She was hoping that they would be able to let this fight go and move on. She was doing everything she could to not get too excited. She missed him terribly right now, and couldn’t handle another fight with him. She hated not having an escape for someone to come pick her up, so she wouldn’t have to feel the pressure of having to drink. She had to wait until Brayden was ready to leave, and that could be a while. If Nick was home, she would have called him and he would have swung down and got her.
Nick was nervous about making the first phone call, he wanted to apologize for acting like an asshole, but part of him didn’t want to. He hated Braydan with a passion, for the only thing he is, is a user! A Leech if that’s what you want to call it. He also swore that he was a drug addict/alcoholic and the last thing Danielle needed in her life was another drug addict/alcoholic.
He would get so mad, when she would call him up crying, because Braydan wouldn’t see the way she saw him. The thing she was missing was the way Nick saw HER! He was absolutely crazy in love with her, and he has been for quite some time, actually since she was 16 and he was twenty. He was able to justify for not telling her, because of the age difference and he knew her parents would never go for them dating, but was he afraid of now? Why was he being such a coward over it now?
He witnessed heartbreak after heartbreak, from guy after guy and all he did was sit back and watch her cry on his shoulder. So many times he wanted to shake her and say look at me you fool, I am right in front of you. I am in LOVE with you! Don’t you see it!!!!!! But he never did, he never wanted to risk the chance of ruining what they had, and at the time all she needed was her best friend.
The thing that got him was Danielle and Braydan weren’t even together. Braydan was with Jessalynn- but Danielle followed them around in hopes that someday he would notice her the way she wants him to, when Nick tried over and over again to explain that he is never going to look at you like that, never. She would get mad and upset and tell him she didn’t understand why he couldn’t just be there for her. Even though it killed him every time he had to be the one that had to put her back together.
“Hello?” the soft voice on the other end answered.
“Heyyyy its Nick!” Nick responded back.
“No kidding, I saw your name come up.” She said with a little giggle.
“Are you available to talk? I have some time and I really want to talk to you. Danielle, I hate fighting with you. You’re my best friend and to not talk to you kills me.” Nick said.
“Yah I have time, I’m glad you called me, I was starting to get worried that you would never talk to me again.” she replied.
Danielle was so glad to hear his voice on the other end of the phone. The voice of an angel. His voice gave a comfort to her like no other voice can. It was a voice that everything will be okay.
“D, I can never go on with my life and not talk to you again. I just needed to think and then I got extremely busy with interviews and shows, that I just couldn’t make the call. Sorry you had to wait so long for me to call.” he said with the sincerity in his voice.
Aww he called her D. she loved when he would call her D. he was the only one that could get away with it, cause that was HIS nickname for her. He started calling her that when she was 10 and he was 14 years old. He hasn’t called her that in a while. She will never forget how upset he got when he overheard Braydan call her D one of the first times he met him. His face got that deep red that is in a rose pedal. Danielle could have also sworn that there was smoke coming out of his ears. She had to explain to Braydan that it was his nickname for her, to not take offense to it.
“It’s ok. I am just glad you called me.” Danielle replied. “I’m also sorry for making you so upset, I wish you would give him a chance, to really get to know him.” she added.
“Where are you right now? He asked.
“I’m at a party, with him and jessalynn. I don’t really want to be here, but I wanted to hang out with him, mainly because I can’t stand being at home. You’re not around for me to go escape with.” She said, trying to justify the reason she was there drinking for she knew that he would be getting upset that she was there. She was underage for she just turned 20 not to long ago, and he also knew how she got when she would drink a lot. Sometimes he would make comments to her about her maybe being an alcoholic, but she would just shoot him down and say she was just a girl that was looking for fun. That there was nothing he had to worry about.
“Are you drinking?” he then asked. His biggest concern was that he wasn’t there to protect her from things so he was really hoping that she would say no.
“Yah I had a few, but I am ok. I am not drunk I promise you I am not.
Danielle said defensively.
“Just be careful. That’s all I ask, is for you to be careful. I am not there to protect you D.” Nick said with concern.
“I will don’t you worry.” Danielle replied back.
“How are things going at home? I can’t wait to be home in a few weeks. Mainly because I can’t wait to see you.” Nick said. You could hear the sadness in his voice. It was normal for him around this time to get really homesick.
“Things are going well. Home is kind of hard right now, my parents won’t stop fighting and my brothers aren’t doing very well either, but I am holding up. I am hanging on, and believe me I can’t wait for you to be home either.” Danielle replied.
Nick was glad to hear that Danielle still missed him. He was afraid that Braydan would soon take his spot for Nick wasn’t home all that much anymore, and he knew how Danielle felt about him. He is afraid that one day; she’ll get her wish and get the guy she wants. It would be his fault for losing her. He is in love with her, but he can’t come to admit it to her.
“Two more weeks and I’ll be home.” Nick said.
Danielle couldn’t wait for him to be home again. She almost, just a little forgot what he looked like, but that she would look on her wall and the blonde hair, blue eyes image reminder her what he looked like. She missed him picking on her about everything; she missed his hugs and kisses on the forehead. She just wanted him home. She just wanted things back to normal.
“Thank god!” she said with excitement in her voice. “Nick, I got to go, Braydan and jessalynn are standing over me. I think they want to leave. Text me in a bit if you can. If not call me tomorrow.” Danielle said.
“Ok D. I’ll try to text you. All I’ll be doing is going on my bus, and playing some call of duty.” Nick replied.
Danielle hung up the phone with Nick and look over at Braydan and Jessalynn. They were staring at her like a deer in a cars head light. What were they staring at? Did she have something on her face?
"Everything ok? You are starting to scare me just a little bit." Danielle said breaking the silence.
“yes everything is fine we were just wondering when you were going to get off the phone with Nick" Braydan replied
"Why does that matter, i haven’t spoken to him in three days and we were just talking about things that we needed to fix" Danielle replied back.
“It doesn’t matter, we just were wondering. We want you to go have fun that’s all.” Braydan answer.
She was annoyed with Braydan, why did it matter to him. It was a simple conversation between her best friend and her. It was as if he was upset that Danielle wasn’t drooling at his feet. He got that way every time Nick was around or when Danielle would mention him. She constantly reminded him, he was with Jessalynn he had no right getting mad. They weren’t together, they were just friends. She wasn’t positive if he knew how she truly felt, but she was certain he knew there were some kind of feelings that she was withholding from him.
There were times when it was just the two of them she want to blurt out, I do love you. I love you from the bottom of my heart. But she got scared of how things would change, and she couldn’t image what would happen if there was no braydan in her life. Her feeling towards him was nothing, if it meant that she wouldn’t be able to have him in her life, she rather her friendship with him than nothing at all. This was one of the sacrifices she had to have happen if she wanted to stay friends with Braydan.
When it came to her feeling about him where locked up in a notebook. It was more of her journal, The journal was a place Danielle would escape to and write out what she was feeling at that moment. It was somewhere that Danielle could turn to, and just cry if she needed to cry or write out a memory she didn’t want to lose. The entries weren’t all about braydan, some involved her dad and other family situations. The only other person to read the entries was Nick, and of course somehow he taken some of them and turn it into a song. He swore she had a talent, but every time he would mention it, she would turn as red as Rudolph red nose. She than would giggle and would say “no i don’t, i am not you."
She was always envious of Nick because he had such a special talent when it came to music. He would always tell Danielle that she wasn’t far behind if she just let her guard down and to not worry what everyone else would think. He was good like that, making her feel beyond special that she could do anything she wanted to if she just believed in herself. She never did though. Danielle always doubted herself. Nick always told her, that he was going to break that shell of hers and once he does she is going to shine. She didn’t get what he saw in her, because what she saw was a broken girl trying to find her way in life. Some days she literally had to force herself to put one foot in front of the other. Nick was the only one around her that believed in her as much as he did. It did feel good at times when he would say things about her writing or her voice even if she didn’t believe the things he was saying.
“When do you plan on going home bray?” danielle asked.
“I don’t know, the party just starting to pick up. Go inside danielle, grab a drink and let lose.” Responded braydan.
“I don’t want another drink. I am ready to go home.” Danielle insisted.
“Well I am not ready to bring you home.. so I don’t know what to tell you. If I thought you were going to be such a baby about being here, I would have brought you home before I came here.” Braydan said.
“fine! I’ll go get a drink and try to have fun.” Danielle said.
What was his problem? Why was he being a douchbag towards me? Danielle thought. All Danielle wanted to do was go home, but she knew fighting with him wouldn’t make it any better, so she just went inside and got a captain Morgan’s and coke. Hell with it, I guess I will be breaking my promise to Nick tonight because I am getting shit faced. Danielle told herself.
Inside there were a lot of people she knew and but a lot more people she didn’t know. When she got in the kitchen there was Emily. Emily was a coworker and a good friend of Danielle’s. She had the long brown hair, when green eyes and a tannish complexion. She was about 5’8 and around 150lbs. she was beautiful. Danielle was envy of her sometimes. All the guys threw themselves at her, but she wasn’t a snob about it. She always made sure Danielle was included when they would hang out- tonight was different though. Tonight Emily was very stand offish.
Danielle walked into the kitchen, got her red solo cub off the breakfast bar and poured her drink than walked over to Emily.
“Hey girlie! What up with you?” Danielle asked
“Nothing really, I had a really sucky day at work, trying to drown it out.” she replied.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Danielle asked?
“Not right now.” Emily said.
“Ok, lets go in the other room, we can hang out with some of the other people” danielle said trying to encourage her to go mingle. It was also forcing Danielle to mingle too.
“Ok” Emily said as she grabbed her drink and headed into the other room.
When they entered the living room there were about ten people sitting around a pulled out table laughing and talking. All of a sudden a boy that Danielle didn’t know shouted to Emily and Danielle. “You guys want to get in this game?”
“what’s the game? Emily asked
“Never have I ever.” Responded the guy.
“Heck yah,” Emily said jumping in.
“Come on Danielle.. This is a fun game.” Emily said pulling Danielle hand.
Never have I ever was a drinking game where one person would say… “Never have I ever….. And then fill something in to something they never did, and the people around them would drink if they have done that. It was a game that could get you drunk REAL fast. Danielle played the game often. Mainly when she would go to her older brothers’ house and they were drinking. She liked the game, but she was very nervous playing this game with some people she didn’t know. But she went along with Emily. After all, it was her that suggested they go in the living room to see what they were doing. For a few seconds, she wasn’t thinking about Braydan and what he and Jessalynn were doing. For a second she completely forgot about him.
Sitting down at the table, the girl next to Danielle said “how about you go Danielle.” Danielle froze. How could they just throw her right in, just as she was sitting down in her seat? She hasn’t even had time to rest her cup before they pushed it on her.
“Uh ok… Never have I ever… hmmmm..” Danielle said thinking out loud.
“Ok I got one, Never have I ever had given a blow job at the movies.” Danielle finally said.
“OH DAMN, I GOTTA DRINK!” one girl shouted.
“Me too…” another girl said.
There were about three more girls that had to drink to Danielle’s never have I ever. It was true, Danielle never did give a blow job at the movies. In all honesty Danielle never had sex. She was uncomfortable about it, because she was twenty years old and never had sex. It wasn’t because she was waiting on marriage; she just wanted to be with a guy she knew she loved and loved her back. Right now, that guy was taken.
“That was a good one!” Emily whispered in her ear.
“Thanks” Danielle responded back feeling kind of uncomfortable in her own skin.
“Ok it MY turn..” Jenn said as she was walking over to the table.
GREAAAAAT! Danielle thought to herself. What was she going to say now, clearly it was going to be something that would embarrasses the hell of her. Danielle got herself ready for this one.
“ok go ahead Jenn.” One of the girl at the table said.
“Never have I ever been so stupidly in love with my best friend that I follow him around like a little puppy dog. ” She said.
Danielle freaked. How did she know she had feelings for Braydan. This couldn’t be, she knew she was going to say something to embarrass her, but she didn’t think it would be about Braydan.. She was starting to feel sick to her stomach. Relax Danielle, just relax. She told herself. When she looked up, Jenn was staring at her with that haha, I caught you look. She tried to put her head down fast so Jenn wouldn’t say anything.
“Danielle, DRINK UP!” she said in a bitchy voice.
Ok, just deny it. she has no proof of how danielle feels towards Braydan. She then looked up and responded. “I don’t know what you are talking about..”
“Come on Danielle, stop denying it. It is so obvious that you wish you were Jessalynn.” Jenn added.
Oh my god, did she really just say that out loud. Did she really just call her out on having feelings for Braydan. How the hell did she find out. Danielle never told a soul. The only person she told was Nick. She wanted to cry, for she could hear the whispers start, then came the laughing. All Danielle could do is get up and run. But were would she run too. She couldn’t go outside and tell Braydan she wanted to go home. She couldn’t stay in this house either, Danielle had to leave. She had to go, before things got worse.
She pushed her chair out, got up and ran out of the house. The tears were starting to fall nonstop now. Danielle could feel herself hyperventilate. She ran down the stairs outside and straight to Braydan.. “I want to go home!” Danielle shouted.
“Well I not going home, wait why are you crying?” he asked
“No reason, bring me home that’s all.” she said in between tears.
“I am not ready to go home.” He said.
“FINE!! I’ll find my own way home” she said as she started to run.
“Are you kidding me right now Danielle?!” Braydan shouted.
“No I am not, I am leaving the party and I am going home. It’s not far.” Danielle shouted back.
She heard Braydan say something, but she was too far at that point to hear what he was saying to her. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry like a baby. She couldn’t believe what just happen. She was going to hear about this at work. She was sure that it would ruin her friendship with Jessalynn and Braydan. Where was Nick when she needed him the most? She couldn’t think about that at the moment, she just needed to get home. She would then try and call him, because she knew he would listen to her.