I hated Mondays. Always had, always would. I guess that’s how most people felt about that day of the week. In fact, I’d never met anyone who claimed to love it. And if I ever did, we could never be friends. Those were probably also the people known for saying, “Does someone have a case of the Mondays?”

And those people were what were wrong with the world, as far as I was concerned.

But I was in an extra grouchy mood this morning. My car was on its last breath of life and was running even worse today than usual, taking several tries to get started. It was a complete miracle that I had only been a few minutes late to work.

“Michelle, that man is still waiting on his coffee!” the assistant manager was yelling at me. Jack was only two years older than me, but apparently the job title on his name tag gave him the right to treat me like a seven year old.

The coffee shop was packed. Everyone was in a hurry to start their work week off with a proper dosage of caffeine. I was supposed to work miracles and make their drinks in record time. Despite the fact that it was six o’clock in the morning, and I’d gotten a grand total of five and a half hours of sleep.

All of these people were in a typical Monday mood, and I was the lucky person who got to deal with them. I handed the man his drink. Without saying thank-you, he took a sip and started to walk away. I braced myself, knowing instantly that I was about to get an earful.

“I asked for skim milk! This tastes like two percent!”

“Sir, I can assure you, that is skim milk. I made the drink myself.”

“You think I can’t tell the difference?”

He handed it back. I took it, turning my back on him and fumbling with everything on the counter. I went ahead and worked on a Chai that the young woman had ordered in line behind him. I turned around and handed him his drink.

He took another sip and nodded, satisfied. Without a glance in my direction, he left the shop.

You think I can’t tell the difference? I could hear him saying. Apparently not, since I’d given the jerk his exact same drink back. Smiling, I handed over the Chai and turned to the next customer. If Jack had seen me do that, I would’ve been reprimanded. But he was busy being useless and supervising some members of the staff instead of actually pitching in; he hadn’t noticed anything.

The morning slowly ticked by. Finally there was a lull in the business. I took the opportunity to sit down for a minute by the window, resting my head on my hands and closing my eyes for a few seconds.

“Michelle.” I despised the way that he said my name.

“What Jack?”

“I need you to refill the cart with more straws and sugar packets.”

“Okay, I’ll do it in a minute.”

“I’m not paying you to sit on your butt. Now.” Without another word, he walked away. He had dark hair and eyes, with a tall, lean body. He might’ve been attractive if it wasn’t for the stern look permanently etched onto his face. Two other employees were chatting behind the register. I wondered why he hadn’t asked either of them, but deep down I knew. Jack didn’t like me. He never had and he never would.

Which pissed me off to no end. I wasn’t perfect by any means, but I worked hard. Aside from today, I was rarely late. I was constantly taking others’ shifts because I needed the paycheck. I was the fastest making every kind of drink. When there was a lot of business, I’d even stay late.

Again because I needed the paycheck. But nevertheless, when this place was running smoothly, it was usually thanks to me.

I did as I was told and even pushed some chairs back under their tables to make the place look neater. There was a display in the front window with different coffee cups and mugs we sold. I rearranged them every week or so since we had a lot of daily customers. It was nice to have something different to look at. I was placing the last coffee cup in its place when I turned and saw Jack sitting at a table, sipping on a drink he’d made for himself.

It took every ounce of willpower I had not to throw the mug at him.

He was extremely lucky that the door opened and at that moment we had more customers come in. There were too many witnesses to kill him now.

I rushed behind the counter, knowing that Jack was incompetent and that the other two employees, a boy and a girl, both high school age, would waste a minute or two deciding on who was going to help them.

I was facing two guys. They looked vaguely familiar, so I assumed they had been here before, although I couldn’t remember when. One was shorter, with brownish-blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was smiling in a friendly sort of way. Obviously no one had broken the news to him of what day of the week it was.

The other was looking at the drink specials: slightly taller, wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. He had dark facial hair, neatly trimmed into a mustache and beard. His arms were covered in tattoos.

I rolled my eyes. He obviously considered himself some kind of bad boy.

“Hi, could I have a large iced tea,” the blondish one said, still smiling.

“Sure thing,” I said, opening the cash register and handing him his change. I turned to the high school girl and relayed the order—I think her name was Cindy. Or Mindy.

Wendy?

Something to that effect.

Turning back to the bad boy, I waited for his decision.

He turned from the specials, looking at me for the first time. A flirtatious grin covered his face. “Well, hello. Can I get a medium frappe?”

I simply nodded and waited for him to swipe his card. The high school boy—Robert, or some name that started with an “r”—was chatting with Wendy… no, it was definitely Mindy. What kind a name was Mindy? Sounded like a poodle.

I made his drink myself.

“Worked here long?” he leaned against the counter.

“Long enough,” I responded, uninterested in small talk.

I could tell his eyes widened under his sunglasses, his eyebrows lifting a little bit. Jack was sitting at the table glaring at me.

“Mondays probably really suck here, don’t they?” he asked.

Okay, I had to give him that one. Laughing slightly, I agreed. I grabbed the finished iced tea from Mindy, who was preoccupied with talking about prom with the boy who was possibly named Robert and handed it to the first guy.

“Thank-you,” he said amiably.

Then I grabbed the Frappuccino and handed it to the second.

“Thanks, babe.”

Babe? He’d just lost his brownie point from recognizing how long my morning had been already. And it wasn’t even lunch time yet.

He smiled and I returned with a forced, “I have to because I work here” smile.

I knew his type. And I wanted as little contact with him as possible. Although hoping they’d been getting these drinks to go, they sat down at a table by the front window. The fair-haired one was ripping open sugar packets and pouring them into his tea.

I started wiping the counters, knowing that Jack would just complain again if he saw me idle.

I could hear the other one laughing.

“I think you got enough sugar there, Rok.”

Rock? What kind of a name was that? I thought again of the one’s tattoos. Maybe they were in a gang or something. The idea made me laugh. Jack gave me a strange look. I ignored him and kept wiping the counter.

“Nah, man. Not enough places have sweet tea here. If you were from the south, you would understand.”

“Last I checked, Florida was south of Kentucky.”

“But it’s still not the south. You just don’t understand,” I could hear the ice cubes in “Rock’s” drink swish as he continued to stir. He took a sip, dramatically smacking his lips together afterwards. “Now that is what tea is supposed to taste like. Well, not really. If you don’t add the sugar at the right time then there’s only so much damage control you can manage.”

“So how do you think it’s going today?”

“It’s definitely weird.”

“I haven’t even talked to him in several weeks.”

“Me, neither. Although my mom says he’s doing okay. I’m still… I don’t know,” he took another sip of his tea.

I looked up to see the other nodding and take a sip of his frappe.

“Michelle,” Jack waved his hand in front of my face.

I’d accidentally stopped wiping the counter, choosing instead to listen to their conversation. It didn’t take much to distract me from this job. To my dismay, though, he’d said my name loud enough for the two guys to hear. My face reddened some as Jack continued.

“Time is money. You shouldn’t be standing here, daydreaming.”

I hoped they wouldn’t realize that I was eavesdropping. It was still humiliating to be berated in front of customers though. I opened my mouth to yell at him, but I managed to take a deep breath and keep my temper in check. If I pushed him over the limit, I might lose the raise I’d gotten a few weeks ago.

What a day, I thought. I wondered if guys suffered from their own form of PMS because he was extra bossy today. I looked at the clock, as he went to chat with the high school students.

My lunch break was coming up. That was something.

“Dude,” someone walked in, college student aged. He looked like a skateboarder, with shaggy hair, baggy pants and a hat slightly askew. One of his sneakers was untied. “There’s a car on fire!”

“Cool!” Robert responded, grabbing Mindy’s hand and heading towards the front door.

My heart sunk. I just had a bad feeling.

“What’s the car look like?”

“Uhh…” he thought about it for a second. “I don’t know. It’s blue. Parked around back.”

“Oh no,” I breathed, ripping my apron off and throwing it on a table and I cut Robert and Mindy off, running out the door.

I was already standing next to my car when they came outside. Jack, Mindy, the skateboarder, and the two customers were following them.

The smoke was billowing out from under my hood.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“I’m just saying that we need to think about what direction we’re going in before we can decide which producers to go with.”

“Well, Nick, it’s our first day back in the studio. We don’t have to have to decide just yet,” Brian said, laughing slightly.

We would all be heading home soon and pick up tomorrow where we left off. I still couldn’t get used to having an even number sitting around the table. There were only four of us now. A part of me had expected Kevin to be here this morning, even though he’d told us that he was through. I guess I had to see it to believe it.

The dynamic of the group was unsettled as a result. There weren’t any visible problems, but I could sense it. The other guys probably noticed, too. He had been the “older brother” of the group for over a decade, after all. Who would fill the spot as the unofficial leader now?

“But why wait?” Nick asked impatiently.

“I do know I’d like for us to collaborate again,” Brian drummed on the table, looking like he couldn’t sit still for much longer. “Like we did on Black and Blue.” He looked at each of us, wondering what our thoughts were on the subject.

We’d written The Answer to Our Life and Time, Brian’s favorite song off the album, together during a trip to the Bahamas. That had been a great trip. “Yeah, man, I think you’re right. That was definitely missing last time.”

Only one of us had ended up with songwriting credits on Never Gone: Kevin, ironically, had penned the title track. This time around, it would add that personal touch if we had a hand in the songwriting again, especially as a group.

Howie turned to Nick. “Once we see what our songwriting style is like these days, we’ll have a better idea of the direction.” Howie was letting him know that we weren’t ignoring his input.

We just didn’t have all the answers yet.

Howie’s comment seemed to satisfy him. Howie must’ve sensed this. “Alright, everybody, can we call it a day?”

In response to his “everybody,” Brian sang, “Yea-eah.”

I shook my head laughing, knowing that that was coming, as Brian jumped out of his seat. We headed outside a few minutes later.

“I think I’m going to call Kevin tonight. He’s probably wondering how it went today.”

“What for?” Nick pulled his car keys out of his pocket.

“Well, for the reason I just said,” Howie looked surprised. “And because he was one of us for thirteen years.”

“Was being the key word,” Nick replied.

We had all been shocked when Kevin made the announcement that his heart wasn’t in it anymore. His timing had left a lot to be desired: breaking the news right before a concert overseas. Brian told me later that he’d thought Kevin was joking. I had just been stunned. It wasn’t easy to go out on stage for two hours, pretending that everything was fine, after a blow like that.

Then came the issue of how to tell the fans. I had read the statement so many times I could practically recite it. After 13 years of what can only be described as a dream come true, I have decided that it is time to leave the Backstreet Boys…

I realized that the shock was wearing of and wondered how everyone felt towards him now.

“Nick, he’ll always be part of the group,” Howie said.

“Really? Cuz I don’t see him anywhere,” Nick crossed his arms.

I expected Brian to cut in, to break the tension and to defend Howie’s statements. He just stood silent, his expression unreadable.

I didn’t know what to say either. Howie and Nick stared at each other for what seemed like forever. A car alarm went off in the distance, breaking the silence.

“Did we tell you about that car this morning?” Although Brian had been unwilling to share his thoughts on the Kevin subject, something I was sure would come up again, he used this moment to lighten the mood. “We saw one on fire this morning!” His eyes widened and his country accent became more evident. Like a little boy at show and tell, his face brightened.

“What?” This statement got Nick’s attention.

“Yeah, outside the coffee shop. Tell him, AJ.”

“It looked like a pretty crappy car. I don’t know how old it was… there was smoke everywhere. The manager just stood there.”

“Like…” Brian made an open-mouthed, wide-eyed face. “And I was like, ‘man, get a fire extinguisher!’”

“He went running inside!” I laughed.

It had been pretty funny. Although I felt bad for the girl whose car it was. When we’d left, she looked devastated. It wasn’t the most ideal way to start the week off.

“I wish I would’ve come with you guys this morning!” Nick said.

Howie shook his head at the kidlike response, but he was grinning, too.

“It was probably all your fault,” Brian gave him a stern look and pointed his finger. “We told you it was a one-time thing for the Incomplete video! Don’t get all pyro on us now. If I come out here tomorrow to find my jeep in flames, just remember: I know where you live.”

“Ooh, wow, you gonna come to my house?”

Brian shook his head. “I’ll post a thread on that website you’re always logging onto… um, Livedaily! All day all you’ll hear,” he switched to a high-pitched girls voice, “Is Nick home? Nick? Are you in there? Nick, will you marry me?” He batted his eyelashes.

I high fived him.

“Brian, you’re evil!” Nick cracked up. “Alright, guys, I’m out! See you tomorrow.” He was meeting up with some friends tonight and headed for his car.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna go, too. I’m getting pretty hungry.”

“Which means McDonalds, right?” Brian asked.

“You know me too well, Rok,” I put on my sunglasses and pushed the button on my keys to unlock the car. “I can give up the drugs and alcohol, but there are some things you just can’t quit.”

“The golden arches are the strongest addictions of all, huh?” he raised an eyebrow.

I nodded. Waving good-bye to him and Howie, I left the parking lot. There was a McDonald’s a few blocks away, on the edge of a run-down part of town, but they had the best fries. I ordered my favorite combo and headed home.

I was going to zone out in front of the television tonight. I didn’t need to stress about the CD this early on. Failure wasn’t an option for me. I couldn’t fail, I just couldn’t. We had a lot riding on this album. Some people didn’t think we’d made the right decision to move forward with only four group members. They believed we had had our day in the sun, that we should throw in the towel.

I couldn’t imagine not being a Backstreet Boy. I’d been in the group since middle school. I could barely remember life before this opportunity had come along. We’d struggled in the beginning. There had been several group members who had quit before we’d lucked out with Kevin and Brian. Before we found the right five people to do this whirlwind of a music career together. We’d risen to the challenge then, so why couldn’t we try to again? How could the four of us quit simply because one wanted to move on with his life?

Were those people right? There were a lot of obstacles to face. We had to figure out how to be a group without our eldest member. We had to prove that we were still relevant to today’s music. We had to fight against the boy band stereotypes, but what else was new? The music scene wasn’t welcoming to “our kind” of music anymore, so we had to work that much harder.

What would I do with myself if I wasn’t up on stage, singing and interacting with the fans? It had been a part of my life so long.

There had been some bickering during the last album. I wondered if we could avoid that now, as well as everything else that lay before us.

Only time would tell.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

This was great. Simply peachy.

That stupid good-for-nothing car. Only a few weeks ago, I’d invested in new headlights, since the others had died. And this was how it repaid me?

There was no way I could afford a new vehicle until another few paychecks came my way. My budget was stretched to the max as it was. Luckily (well, for lack of a better word) I lived a mile away from the coffee shop. While it would suck, I could get to and from work and my apartment. I lived at the outskirts of a sketchier area of Orlando, so I wasn’t too happy about walking around in the dark. But it turned out that even the criminals and gang members needed their beauty sleep.

At five o’clock in the morning, the streets were quiet.

I yawned, turning a corner. As if I didn’t have to be there early enough as it was, now I had to make time for a commute. Needless to say, when I finally arrived to work and started getting everything ready for the day, I was not in the best mood. Jack was there, which didn’t help matters. He seemed to find it amusing that this was currently my only mode of transportation.

Walking.

Glaring at him, I turned to the cappuccino maker, deciding that I really needed some caffeine if I was going to be polite to customers.

Pulling on my apron, I noticed a flyer on the employee bulletin board. It was from the big boss. She was hiring an assistant manager for the afternoon shift. I stared at it, suddenly wide awake.

I’d been hoping for an opportunity to advance soon. I’d been here over a year already. I had the experience, certainly. I wanted the perks, too. For one thing, I’d be the same level employee as Jack. Not having to listen to him boss me around would be reason enough. There was also the fact that it was a more normal shift. Sleeping in would be heaven. I was a natural night person, so I rarely got more than a few hours sleep each night. Coffee sustained me for my shifts and sometimes I was fortunate enough to catch an afternoon nap.

The best perk of all? A pay raise. Not only could I get that car a little sooner, but I could purchase one that would actually last me a few years. The vehicle would still be used, but I wouldn’t have to ducktape it together to make it run. Then there were all my other bills. With a higher salary, I could afford to put some away at the end of the month. I needed an emergency fund, for situations like my car dying. Those situations happened all too often.

Grabbing an application, I sat down and started filling out my information, knowing I only had a few minutes before the doors would open. I tried to think of who else might apply for the job, worrying about having competition for the position. The high school students here were barely competent enough for their current jobs, let alone one in management that required leadership. Several of the employees, mostly in the 20s like I was, had been trained by me. That was in my favor. If they trusted me to train others, then why wouldn’t they trust me to do what Jack already did in the mornings? And what Angela, the person who must be leaving for the position to be open, did in the afternoons?

I was one hundred percent certain that I could do the job better than Jack. Realizing I’d been here longer than almost everybody else and was more knowledgeable about the job, my spirits lifted. I felt like the position was already mine.

“Michelle, we’re about to open. Can you stop doodling and get behind the register?” Jack interrupted my good mood.

Setting the application aside- I would finish it on my morning break. I wanted to be the first one to turn it in- I did as I was told and I did it with a smile.

“What’s with you?” he looked suspicious.

“Oh. Nothing,” I said innocently. Let him order me around all he wanted to.

Enjoy it while you can, I thought. I’d put up with him this long. I could put up with him just a little longer. I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when the boss announced my promotion. Maybe I’d bring in a camera, so I could always remember the look on his face. Heck, I’d take a picture of my own, too, looking smug and making sure he noticed. What a reward that would be.

Snapping myself out of the daydream, I turned to serve the first customer of the day.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“Day two,” I said, walking into the studio. Brian and Howie were already there. “So is Nick going to be the late one now that Kev’s gone?”

Brian was in the middle of a yawn, but he smiled. “Well, we’ll all have to work a little harder to fill his spot. Howie, you can have the bushy eyebrows.”

“Oh, thanks so much,” Howie rolled his eyes.

“And AJ, you can go buy some man skirts. You like an eccentric wardrobe, so it really won’t be all that different…”

“Say what? I don’t think so!” I sat down across from them. “And what about you, Rok?”

“Can’t you tell? I’ll be the bossy one. So you had better do as I’m telling you!”

Nick sauntered in a few minutes later.

“Hey, Nick,” Howie greeted him.

“Mmm,” Nick said, his eyes barely open as he found a seat. Then he leaned his head on the table, about to fall asleep again.

“Well, I guess this is what one of the biggest boy bands of all time looks like early on the second day of recording. It’s pretty pathetic.” I wanted to get started. The sooner we got going, the sooner I could take a cigarette break. I was already thinking about taking five, and we hadn’t gotten anything accomplished yet.

We spent the morning listening to about a dozen demos of songs we’d been sent. The ones we liked, we played a few times, trying to see how it matched our voices and styles. Several were horrible.

At around noon, we decided to take an hour for lunch. Nick and I headed to the McDonald’s down the street.

“You guys coming?” Nick called to them, but Howie and Brian were already on their cellphones.

“I guess that’s a no,” I laughed. “They’ve gotta check in with the women.”

Nick make a noise, as if he was glad not to be tied down by the old ball and chain.

“Not jealous of the married life, eh?”

Well, Howie wasn’t married yet, but he’d been in the relationship so long he might as well have been.

He gave me an “are you kidding me?” look. “Believe me, I’m in no hurry. I mean, can you imagine being with one woman the rest of your life?”

Yes. And no. That was easier said than done, that type of commitment. “Just promise me one more thing, Nick.”

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling open the door to the fast-food restaurant.

“No more Paris Hiltons. One was enough.”

He burst out laughing. “No problem.”

I could remember Kevin’s face when he found out that they were seeing each other. It was priceless. Brian hadn’t been happy, either, although he’d done a better job of hiding it. Howie stayed out of it and was nice to everyone. As usual.

Between the high profile relationship and the reality TV show, Nick had been taking a lot of grief from Kevin. I wondered if that was part of the reason he was so contemptuous of talking about him coming back to the group or being informed of what we were doing. But I knew better than to bring it up.

“Good,” I said. “Because there is such a thing as beauty and brains.”

“Uh-huh. Like you give IQ tests before going after girls?” he rolled his eyes.

“Name one girl I’ve dated who’s dumber than Paris.”

He opened his mouth and then paused, unable to come up with an answer.

“I thought so,” I moved past him and placed my order.

The rest of the day passed relatively quickly. I said goodbye to the rest of the guys and decided to drive awhile before heading home. I rolled down the windows, blasting the top 40 station. I went a long way home, down some streets I rarely visited. Reaching a stoplight, I noticed someone walking down the sidewalk carrying several grocery bags.

After a moment, I recognized her as the girl from the coffee shop. She was walking swiftly. I couldn’t really blame her, in this area. I guessed her car was in the shop.

If it was fixable. I remembered the flames, and started to think otherwise. Apparently, that had been her only vehicle. Making a quick decision, I pulled up to the sidewalk.

“Hey, do you need a ride?”

“No,” she said, rather forcefully. Turning to me, her eyebrows raised a little, realizing that I wasn’t a total stranger. After all, I’d been present for the incident that had her walking to and from the store.

“Are you sure? It’s no trouble,” I smiled, turning on my usual charm.

She shook her head. “I’m good. Thanks anyway,” she added, although she didn’t sound as if she meant it. Without another word, she tossed her long, dark brown hair and headed down the sidewalk, taking a right when she got to the corner.

The girl was independent. I had to give her that. And I was intrigued.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

The week passed slowly. Finally, Friday arrived, although that didn’t mean too much to me. I’d be here tomorrow morning, bright and early as always. Sunday, at least, was still a day of rest. My application for the assistant manager position was turned in. I had handed it directly to the boss. I knew it would be awhile before I heard anything, but I was still hoping there would be some news sooner than later.

The morning was a little slower than usual, which was fine by me. As the lunch crowd started filing out, I looked at the clock. Only an hour to go. This afternoon was definitely one for a good, long nap. That was my reward for working so hard all week.

When I looked up, the two guys from earlier this week were walking in the door. Rock and… well, I never figured out the other ones name. What was this? The third time I’d seen him this week? I thought back to a few days ago. Like I was going to get in a car with a random guy.

I was safer on those streets.

Rock’s phone started ringing. He answered it. I heard “Hey, August, I was just going to call you…” He motioned to his friend that he was going to go outside to talk. I respected that. I was forced to listen to cell phone conversations all the time. It really bugged me when they came up to order while talking on the phone. As if I had nothing better to do than try to make out what they want in between the blabbing with their friends.

“Well, hey again,” he said, leaning casually against the counter.

Oh boy. “What can I get you?”

He ordered a frappe like he had on Monday. I started making it.

“So, I guess your car is beyond repair?”

“Yep.”

“That sucks. I’m sorry.”

I didn’t answer, even though I agreed. This didn’t deter him. This guy was not in the least bit shy with people, was he?

“I’ve been in the studio all week. Recording a new album.”

So maybe I was wrong with the gang member thought. He was a musician. That made sense. This guy did give off a rock star vibe, with his sunglasses- did he realize that most people didn’t wear them inside?- and tattoos and… the general attitude he gave off. Like he was cool and he knew it.

“Interesting,” I said, without feeling. This was Orlando. Did he think he was the only person trying to make it big in the music world?

“Yeah. This’ll be the Backstreet Boys sixth album,” he said.

Just kidding. He’d already made it big, hadn’t he? Was his friend one of the Backstreet Boys, too? Maybe that was why I’d recognized him. He had said it conversationally, but I could tell that he was trying to impress me.

“You’re a Backstreet Boy?” I asked, skeptically. I couldn’t help it. My curiosity was outweighing my decision to ignore him in the hopes that he’d go away.

He seemed pleased that I had heard of the group. But, honestly, who hadn’t? They were a household name. “Yeah. AJ.”

Was there a Backstreet Boy named AJ? I racked my brain, trying to decide whether or not I believed him. I thought back to high school, and the friends who had been BSB fans. Yes, one of them had wanted to marry an AJ. She covered her locker with pictures of him. I remembered her favorite picture, and sunglasses seemed about right. The same for tattoos, although not half as many as he appeared to have now.

I nodded, believing him. I finished up making his drink and started putting his money in the register. “You guys are still together, huh?”

“Going on fifteen years.”

AJ wasn’t trying to be impressive now. I could tell that he genuinely felt proud and a little reminiscent. He seemed real for a second. I was about to ask more, but he put on his smooth smile again.

“So, how would you like to go out with one of the Backstreet Boys?” AJ said this as if there was no possible answer but yes. Boy band members probably didn’t get turned down often.

Famous or not, he was still a bad boy. I wasn’t stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. Not when the first had cost me so dearly. “No thanks.”

AJ raised his eyebrows, surprised. “Come on. One date.”

“I’m married,” I said, obviously lying.

“Where’s your wedding ring?”

“Oh. I forgot to put it on this morning. Silly me!” To my dismay, the more I was sarcastic, the less deterred he seemed to me. Didn’t he have models or actresses or blonde singers to go hit on somewhere?

His friend reappeared at this point, but didn’t seem to want anything. He was in slightly less spirits than he had been moments before. I thought back to my friend’s locker. There had been a brunette one that could sing really well. The man standing before me was years older than those pictures, but aside from the laugh lines, he still had the cute, boyish features that had captured the hearts of so many of my peers. He smiled at AJ and asked him if he was ready to go. The smile and easy, blue eyes finalized my thinking. This had to be Brian. I couldn’t remember his last name, but I was sure of the first. I wondered what the “Rock” nickname was all about.

Shrugging, I turned to grab some napkins to restock for customers.

“See you later, Michelle,” AJ said.

I wondered how he knew my name, then realized he had probably seen my name tag. I gave him a noncommittal smile. After all, a Backstreet Boy wasn’t likely to be in one place for very long. Who knew if he even lived here regularly? Maybe he was only in town to record. Even if he did reside in Orlando, the tour would surely take up all of his time following the CD.

Still, interested or not, it was flattering to be asked out by a Backstreet Boy.

“Michelle,” Jack called, “do you think you could do that any slower?”

I finished refilling the napkin holders without answering.

No, my thoughts returned to AJ, I wouldn’t see much more of him. I certainly couldn’t hold the interest of a celebrity for very long. The man probably had a month’s worth of dates lined up already.

As my shift came to a close, I headed outside for my walk. I groaned when the humidity hit me. This would not be a fun trip home. The sun was beating down on me. Sighing, I headed across the parking lot towards the sidewalk.

Someone was leaning against his guy. “Thought you might want a ride home.” “You know, this is borderline stalking,” I responded. What was with this guy? Persistent much?

He smiled, smugly. “You know, it’s a nice change to be on this end of it.”

Oh, right. He would’ve had dozens of stalkers over the last decade, wouldn’t he? The kind with hearts painted on their faces who were twelve years old. Not really menacing, but probably annoying.

I laughed at the thought.

“So is that a yes?”

“Um, no. You’re not supposed to take rides from strangers, you know.”

“I thought that was candy?”

“Well, that, too.”

“Remind me to cancel that box of chocolates I ordered to be delivered,” AJ joked, still leaning against his car, unabashed by another rejection.

He had a sense of humor. I had to give them that. It was something I appreciated. I tried not to, but another laugh escaped my mouth.

Now he really looked smug. As if he were wearing me down. That only served to annoy me. He really couldn’t make any sort of lasting good impression, could he?

“Look, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I am not looking to date your kind.”

“My kind? Boy band or otherwise?” he seemed intrigued by my statement.

“You know exactly what I mean, Mr. ‘I like to act tough and think I can get whatever I want in life,’” I shot back. “Hate to break it to you, but if you came out of your popstar bubble a little more often, you might realize that’s not how it works in the real world. You can’t change my mind, no matter how many fancy cars or Grammy’s you’ve got. So… have a nice day,” I added, to officially close the conversation.

While I hated that I had turned down the offer of AC, I was surer that I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. I couldn’t possibly make myself any clearer than that.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“Let’s go somewhere else today,” Brian begged. “Like that Italian place a few blocks away for lunch. I’m so sick of getting sweet tea and sandwiches. It’s called variety, AJ.”

“Yeah, the coffee shop and McDonalds,” I joked.

“Seriously, man, why are you so obsessed with her?” Brian rolled his eyes.

Obsessed was an exaggeration, but only slightly. I’d had a date last night with a beautiful blonde I’d met at a friend’s party. She was tall, gorgeous, and interested. She hung on my every word, seemed extremely lucky to be on a date with me.

But she’d bored me to tears. Her personality was flat. There was no spark in her. I’d thought of Michelle several times.

I knew it was simply the pursuit of the chase. She was right. With women, I usually did get what I wanted. It wasn’t often I was turned down and, when I was, my charm usually worked to change that. This chick was immune to it, apparently.

I didn’t claim to believe in love at first sight. I wasn’t pretending to think that, even if I did get that date, there’d be a future past a few more outings. Maybe a few months. I hadn’t found what I was looking for yet, so I didn’t see how one girl was going to change that.

Still, I was enjoying the creative ways Michelle was telling me to get lost. She was quick and sarcastic. It was entertaining to say the least.

“I’m not obsessed,” I said. “It’s just that the more she says no, the more I’m determined to convince her to say yes.”

“That’s stupid,” he laughed. “I don’t think she’s going to change her mind.”

Probably not. I agreed to the Italian place. I could go back tomorrow.

We went to lunch. The waitress was cute, so I got her number.

“Good,” Brian commented as we were leaving. “Your days of stalking over?”

“Oh no, Rok,” I said. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Right. What was I thinking? Who doesn’t enjoy stalking?” he asked, sarcastically.

Two days later, though, I started to realize that I was getting pathetic. The waitress, Cheryl, wasn’t as beautiful as the blonde or as sarcastic as Michelle, but she was pretty enough and funny enough. We’d gone to dinner and then back to my place, and I promised to call her again in a few days. A second date looked promising.

Nevertheless, I walked into the coffee shop on my lunch break, alone today. Brian had decided to eat with Howie and Nick.

“Hey,” I said.

“I suppose you want your usual?” Michelle raised an eyebrow.

“I want a date,” I grinned, “but the usual will do.”

She turned around quickly, but I could tell she’d laughed a little. A moment later, she was handing me my drink.

“Thank you very much,” I said.

Michelle looked at me for a minute, obviously thinking something.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No, seriously, what is it?”

“You’re just… interesting, that’s all,” she said, trying to choose her words carefully.

“Interesting enough to let me take you to the movies?”

She shook her head. “Because you’re also full of yourself.” She smiled.

“Ouch,” I laughed. I realized that Brian was right. This wasn’t going to go anywhere. “Alright,” I waved my arm in the air, about to admit defeat.

Michelle visibly flinched and something flashed in her eyes.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She seemed a little embarrassed, but her expression was soon blank again. “Yeah. Why?”

“Um…” I shook my head. I was imagining things. “Well, I can see this is a lost cause.”

“Figure that out all on your own, huh?”

I laughed again. “Even a Backstreet Boy can admit defeat eventually. Thanks again,” I held up the drink.

She seemed surprised as I walked out the door. I decided to go ahead and call Cheryl. I didn’t want my ego to stay bruised for long.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

AJ had stayed persistent for longer than I’d thought. For a week, he’d come in several times. He’d passed me in his car twice, offering me rides both times. I’d declined. I had started to suspect there was some sort of bet going on, wondering what would happen if I did accept a date. I could picture him saying, “Just kidding. I won!” He’d have that sure of himself smirk on his face, no doubt.

I realized that was highly unlikely. But I’d still felt like I was missing something.

Then, he’d “admitted defeat,” as he’d put it. That had been three days ago. AJ had been in only once since then, but he’d simply said hello and ordered a drink.

Which was good. I didn’t need someone like him in my life.

The morning had gone by pretty smoothly. I was in the middle of wiping down the tables before the lunch rush.

Jack had actually been pleasant this morning, which was rare. He hadn’t asked me to do this clean-up work. For once he’d realized that I knew what needed to be done. This wasn’t my first day on the job, by any means. I didn’t know why he was happy, but I wasn’t going to complain about it.

There were drops of rain coming down outside, which made the day nicer, too. We needed rain. It was only a light shower, but it would cool everything off and no doubt be sunny again by the time I got off work.

“Oh, excuse me,” I said to a customer as he walked in. I’d been turning around to wipe off the last table and almost bumped into him.

“Michelle, will you come here?” Jack asked politely.

Happy or not, Jack was never polite. I could hear the warning bells going off in my head.

I walked over to the counter, where the customer was standing. He looked to be early 20s, probably college aged.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah,” I said, moving to get behind the cash register. I didn’t know why he couldn’t take the order himself, but it wasn’t like Jack ever pulled his weight around here.

“Oh no,” he laughed. “I need you to train Tom.”

“Hi,” the guy gave a dorky wave. He had freckles and glasses and seemed very unsure of himself, standing there.

“Oh,” I said. Then, “What? Are you going to be working here?” I’d directed the question directly to Tom, but Jack answered.

“Yes, he’s Clarissa’s nephew. He’s going to be the assistant manager for the day shift.”

Each word hit me like a ton of bricks. Clarissa was the “big boss.”

“Assistant manager?” I repeated.

“Yes,” Jack smiled. “It may take a few days, but we’re confident in your training abilities. You see, he’s never worked in a coffee shop before.”

I don’t know how long I stood there, staring at him. I could feel my face getting red, angrier by the second. He was feeding off of my fury, his smile widening.

“I bet you volunteered to be the one to tell me, didn’t you?” I said to Jack, raising my voice.

“What do you mean?” he asked innocently.

I opened my mouth again, to really let him have it.

“I’d watch what you say. How are you ever going to buy a new car without a job?”

He had me there, and he knew it. I continued to glare, but I didn’t say anything.

“So… where would you like to start?” Tom asked.

“Can’t today Tom,” I said. “I’m not feeling too well,” I said, still loudly, taking off my apron and throwing it on the counter. “I think I’m going to have to take a sick day. Good thing you’re here to cover my shift. It’s best to learn by doing, after all.”

I grabbed by purse and headed outside. I ignored the raindrops falling on me. There were barely enough to notice. I headed home, fists clenched, wanting to punch something.

Or someone.

I walked a few blocks but then changed my mind about going to the apartment. There was a small park and I headed to the nearest bench. After kicking it a few times, I felt better and worse. Better for having gotten out my aggression. Worse because my foot was now aching from hitting the steel.

I rested my head in my hands. I was annoyed at everything. But mostly myself. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.

“Are you okay?” I heard a voice ask.

“Fine,” I said curtly, not raising my head.

“You sure, Michelle?”

Oh, crap. Whoever this person was, he knew me. I wiped by eyes as nonchalantly as possible. Luckily, it was raining, so the fact that my face was wet wouldn’t seem out of place. I hated crying, especially in front of people. Old habits die hard. At least I hadn’t been sobbing or anything. Simply a few tears of frustration.

“What are you doing here?”

AJ decided that was as close to an invitation as he was going to get and sat down on the bench. “I was driving by when I saw you crossing the street. You looked upset.”

“Mad,” I corrected him.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

He nodded his head, accepting that that answer might be the only one he was going to get. He remained seated next to me.

I sighed. “I applied for the assistant manager spot and… I didn’t get it.”

“Oh. Sorry,” he said, and actually sounded like he meant it.

“They gave it to some kid who has absolutely no experience, simply because he’s the manager’s nephew. Just goes to show that it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”

“Wow. That really sucks,” AJ said. “You want me to go kick some ass?”

I laughed. “Tough guy, huh?”

“Actually, I’d probably be pathetic in a fight. But I could out sing them.”

I laughed again, shaking my head. “What are you talking about?” I asked, rhetorically.

He shrugged, seeming glad he’d made me smile. I ended up telling him the details of how Jack had broken the news to me. He murmured “douche bag” several times.

“Michelle, you practically run that store now. They’re bound to see what a mistake they’ve made when this guy can’t handle the job. He’s obviously in way over his head.”

His sincerity surprised me. “Thanks.” The rain started coming down harder. “I’d ask if you want a ride home, but I suppose you’d rather get drenched than have to spend five minutes in the popstar bubble, huh?”

I thought it over for a minute. “A ride would be great.”

He led me to his car and held the door open for me, which was surprising. AJ seemed different today, although I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I navigated him towards my place.

“You’ve probably never been over in this part of town, huh?” I could only picture what mansion he lived in.

“Uh… well, I’ve driven through it,” he said. I could tell he was fibbing.

“This is it,” I said when we pulled up to an apartment complex. There was some graffiti on the brick walls of the building. The landscaping, or lack thereof, wasn’t what you’d call inviting.

But it was home.

I turned to him, curious for his reaction. AJ kept his face blank.

“Yeah, coffee doesn’t pay the big bucks like the rock concerts do.”

“But it certainly keeps you awake in the morning,” he said without missing a beat.

“Listen… thanks,” I said, turning to him before I started opening my door.

“Anytime,” he said.

The ego had been absent today. He hadn’t tried to score a date; he’d just been there when I needed someone. Then I noticed what else was different. AJ didn’t have his sunglasses on. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him without them. I wondered why he was so attached to them when he had such beautiful brown eyes. I could tell there was more to him than I’d initially given him credit for.

“Um, yeah, thanks,” I snapped myself out of gazing into them. “Um… see ya around?”

He nodded. I walked up to the building, turning back out of habit. He was still sitting in the car, waiting to make sure I made it into the building safely. Trying not to smile, I waved and then went inside.

I kept hoping AJ would come and get some coffee. Two days passed and I started to lose hope. I had, after all, rejected him countless times. He’d told me he wouldn’t bother me about it anymore.

Now he was staying away, and I missed him. Go figure.

I’d simply seen him in a new light the other day. Maybe we could be friends, I thought. It was a ridiculous idea, to be sure. I couldn’t see him having any woman friends. Still…

I shook my head and returned to writing the specials on the marker board. I needed to stop thinking about him. Although it did give me a nice reprieve from thinking about my crappy job and how mad I was still. I would start training the new assistant manager next week. Part of me wondered if it were possible to sabotage the training process, to ensure that he would crash and burn.

But I couldn’t force myself to be that black-hearted. Besides, Jack would link it back to me, and I’d have no job.

I was imagining Jack finally getting what was coming to him when the front door opened. Two girls walked in. I headed to the cash register.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

I noticed the shorter one glance at my nametag. “Um… hey. Could I just get…” she looked at the display case, “a scone, please?”

“Sure thing. What about you?”

The other girl ordered a coffee. I passed the first a scone and started to make a drink. The glance they exchanged didn’t escape my notice. Wondering who the heck these girls were, I made the coffee and handed it to the taller blonde girl.

“Thanks,” the first smiled and they headed to a nearby table.

I returned to the marker board.

“So you’re definitely coming to the cookout, right?” the one girl said, taking a bit of her scone.

“Is he going to be there?”

She sighed. “Carmen.”

“What? It’s a fair question.”

The first girl paused. “Yes.”

I could hear Carmen groan.

“You don’t have to talk to him.” “Relax. You know I’ll be there.”

“Good, and…” she trailed off as her cell phone started to ring.

Losing interest in the conversation, I was about to head back behind the counter.

“Hello? Oh… hey, Brian… umm, grabbing something to eat with Carmen… um, nowhere special.”

I turned to face them, pretending to be doing something at the counter now. The blonde girl was rolling her eyes. She was obviously making fun of the brunette’s inability to lie quickly.

She was talking to a Brian, huh? I wondered if it was a coincidence.

“What do you mean?” she was looking a little panicked as she talked into her phone. Then she glanced at the entrance.

Brian was looking in the window, a cell phone up to his ear.

So nope. Not a coincidence.

“Busted,” Carmen laughed. She glanced at me, and I quickly turned around.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” I heard Brian say.

I was still carefully not looking at them.

“Um. Nothing,” the girl said.

“August, a word of advice. Maybe you shouldn’t say ‘um’ before every fib, because it’s kind of a dead giveaway,” Carmen was laughing.

I wondered how they knew Brian. And what the big deal was about them being here.

“Well, what are you doing here?” August asked in return.

“Getting a coffee. From a coffee shop. I need to get back in a few minutes,” he said. He came up to the counter.

I was forced to face him and take his order. I wondered if he knew I’d been eavesdropping. The place was pretty dead otherwise. He looked slightly amused, so he could probably tell I’d realized something was off. I remembered the girls looking at my nametag. What did I have to do with anything?

I got him his drink.

“Thanks,” he said, with a smile. I wished I could read his face.

He turned back to the two girls. “You want to walk back with me?”

It seemed like a rhetorical question.

“Yeah,” August sighed. This time, she glanced at me. Then, meeting my gaze, she returned hers to Brian before I had a chance to look away.

Odd. I felt like I had something on my face or I was wearing a “kick me” sign.

They soon left, although not without a final glance from August. Was she Brian’s girlfriend? That was a possibility. Wife? Were any of the Backstreet Boys married? I was going to have to get on Wikipedia if I was going to keep having encounters of the Backstreet kind.

Well, maybe not anymore. AJ had been MIA. And Brian had simply run through for a drink, but otherwise he wasn’t here that often. And it wasn’t like I’d ever talked to him about anything except coffee.

Turned out, I was wrong. I had just finished my shift and was leaving the store when I ran into AJ.

Literally.

“Oh, sorry… hey,” I said, noticing it was him the second I saw the cap and sunglasses.

“You need a ride?”

“How’d you know I was getting off now?”

He just flashed that confident grin of his. “Just brilliant, I guess.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Oh, good! Come on!” He purposefully took my answer to be in response of the ride question, instead of his intelligence.

I was going to say no. I didn’t need someone like him in my life. But… I found myself following him to his car. AJ held the door open for me and then headed to the driver’s seat.

“So… I think some friends of yours stopped by today,” I said.

AJ laughed. “Yeah… I was wondering if you’d noticed them or not.”

That explained his sudden reappearance. Brian must’ve told him the two girls had come by. “Who were they?”

“August and Carmen? Well, August is Brian’s wife…”

“So one of the Backstreet Boys is married? Wow. Bet that broke the hearts of millions,” I joked. “What about Carmen?”

“She’s August’s best friend.”

“And… why did they stop by today?”

AJ paused. “I guess they wanted to get something to eat.”

“Uh-huh. I felt like I was in a zoo.”

He laughed again. “Alright, alright. They knew you worked there. I guess it’s true that married couples tell each other everything. Brian must be blabbing about everything that’s happening at work…”

“Wait a minute,” I interrupted. “I’m still confused. How do they know who I am?”

“Jeez, interrogate much?... Honestly, I guess they thought it was pretty funny that a girl was turning me down. Repeatedly.”

“You telling me that never happens?” So they’d heard enough about me to be curious as to whom I was? I laughed, though I was also flattered.

He thought about it for a moment. “Well… no. Not really. Not often.”

“Wow. Must be nice to be you,” I rolled my eyes. I pointed out the right that he needed to take and reminded him of my street name.

We approached my apartment complex. For a second time, I felt slightly ashamed of where I lived. This side of town was not one he could relate to.

“So…” AJ played with his car keys absentmindedly. “I was wondering…”

“You know, for a guy who’s never turned down, you seem a little nervous,” I teased, but with a smile.

“I said not often,” he reminded me. “Besides, we established that you’re the exception to the rule. Anyways, as I was saying!” he pressed on. “There’s a cook-out Sunday…”

“So I heard!”

He dramatically cleared his voice because of my second interruption.

“Sorry,” I laughed.

“It’s a group of us. It wouldn’t be a date,” AJ said firmly, a half smile on his face, “which means that you do not have the opportunity to reject me again.”

This surprised me. Just an outing, hanging out with his friends. I was touched. I didn’t really have any friends in town. It had been a lonely year.

“Well?” AJ said, but gently. He must’ve noticed the look on my face. I was about to say yes.

“That… sounds like fun.”

“So yes?” AJ said. “Come on. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word come out of your mouth.”

“No, you haven’t,” I grinned, getting out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.”

“I’ll pick you up… at two on Sunday?”

“Sounds good. I’ll be out here.”

We said our goodbyes, and I watched him drive away.

I reached my apartment on the second floor in much higher spirits than I had all week and put my key in the doorknob. I was about to turn, when I noticed that the door was already unlocked.

That was strange… I felt fear building as I opened the apartment door.

Nothing was any different than how I’d left it. It was messy, but that was my own doing. I grabbed a baseball bat from behind the door and walked through the apartment.

There was no one there. Once the place had been thoroughly inspected, I could breathe again. I was leaving the house so early these days; I must’ve forgotten to lock the door behind me.

I would be more careful in the future.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“So… have a nice lunch?”

“Oh,” August looked guilty. “He told you about that?”

“Yup,” I said. I was in the Littrell’s kitchen, sitting at a stool by the island.

“Brian, you have a big mouth!” she called into the other room.

Brian came in. “What?” he said, acting offended but purposefully opening his mouth as wide as it would go to say it.

“You weren’t inconspicuous about it, either,” I commented, rolling my eyes.

“Well… we were in the area anyway, and we were just curious. You’ve been talking about her. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you so into a girl.”

“Again, thanks, big mouth,” I laughed at Brian. “You two can’t find anything better than me to talk about?”

“Don’t change the subject, young man,” she pointed the kitchen knife at me. She was making dinner. They invited me over fairly regularly. Apparently, it wasn’t good to live off of fast food. Still, I never argued. A home-cooked meal was nice.

“What? I’ve been out with several girls the last few weekends…”

“For more than one date?” August continued.

“Yes.”

“More than two?”

“Yeah… no,” I laughed.

“Yet you keep bugging the one girl who turns you down. Repeatedly,” she repeated. “And you wonder why Carmen and I wanted to put a face to the name? What’s the deal, anyway? Always want what you can’t have?”

“You know it.” Although I was realizing it was more than that. “I mean, yes she rejects me… on a regular basis. But she does it with style.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but it’s time to give up,” Brian laughed. This wasn’t the first time he’d suggested this, of course. “Better to do so before the restraining order.”

“You know what? You’re right. I guess I’d better get in touch with her and cancel Sunday…”

“Sunday?” August raised her eyebrows.

“She was going to come to the cook-out.”

“Aww,” August grinned. “That’s wonderful! I can meet her… formally this time!” This was exactly the response I expected from the hopeless romantic.

Brian got some soda out of the fridge and passed me a can of Coke. “Well, you know, I was just kidding about giving up…”

“Right, Rok,” I rolled my eyes. “Actually, I did give up. I promised to leave her alone, but then…” I threw my hands up into the air. “Go figure."

“Well, Carmen’s not going to like the sound of this.”

“Why?”

“She was impressed that there was finally a woman out there who could resist your charm. We decided it might be good for you,” August laughed.

“Well, sorry. Turns out I’m just irresistible.”

“Wait a minute… I know another woman who resisted your charm,” Brian slid his arm around his wife’s waist.

“Nah, man, I let you have her. I just felt bad for you.”

He threw a dish towel at me.

“And I do remember a certain hot and heavy moment on my kitchen floor,” I smirked.

Now it was August’s turn to roll her eyes. “You just love to bring that up, don’t you? When the truth is, you’re just clumsy!” She pulled three plates out. “Here, set the dining room table. That is, if you think you can manage it without dropping anything.”

“Wow, I’m worthy of the dining room table tonight? Fancy,” I joked, grabbing the plates from her. As I was heading into the dining room, I noticed Brian give his wife a quick kiss on the cheek, thinking I wasn’t looking.

They were good together. I was glad they’d gotten a happy ending. They’d been so close to throwing all of this away once. I started setting out the plates, realizing that the sudden pang I felt was jealously. Which was funny since I enjoyed my independence. I wasn’t sure I could ever settle down like this…

Still, it was probably a nice thing to have someone to come home to at the end of the day. When Brian left the studio, there was someone waiting for him, ready to hear what was going on in his life.

“Earth to AJ,” Brian was waving a hand in front of my face. He’d come out with silverware. I hadn’t realized I’d dazed out for a second.

“I’m here,” I laughed, spreading out the rest of the plates.

We sat down to dinner. August started telling me about an article she was working on for the paper. “There’s a new exhibit opening at the art museum, centered on music. It’s from a cultural angle, inspired by how music is viewed in different areas around the world…”

Brian snapped his fingers together. “That reminds me, did you get a chance to talk to the producer before you left today…”

The conversation fell into our slow but steady progress in the studio. We sat at the table long after we’d finished eating.

Finally, as the hour was drawing late, I got up and started clearing the table.

“Don’t worry about it,” August stopped me. “I’ll get this.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I grinned.

She shot me a look as she took my plate into the kitchen.

“Yeah, thanks!” Brian called.

I could hear her laugh. “Don’t thank me yet. Guess who’s doing the dishes?”

“Busted!” I smacked him playfully on the shoulder. “Thanks for the food, August. It was good, as always.”

“No problem. See you Sunday?”

I nodded. “Alright, man. I’m out. Talk to you later?” I said.

Brian walked me to the door. “Well, I haven’t been able to get rid of you in the last fifteen years, so I don’t see how I’m going to change that now.”

“Funny, Rok,” I rolled my eyes.

I walked outside, heading to my car parked out front. I glanced back at the house as I grabbed my car keys. I could see them clearing the table together through a one of the huge windows. It was such an everyday, tedious job, but they seemed happy to be doing it together.

I felt that stab of jealously again. Hopefully it would pass. I tried to remind myself of the benefits of staying single. Still, as I drove home, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d ever have what Brian did.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

I was nervous. I kept reminding myself that this was just a cook-out. With a group of people. The event would be very laid-back, only lasting a few hours. And it wasn’t a date.

AJ had come out and said that. Not a date.

So why was I stressed?

I wondered who else would be there. I didn’t know these people. Sure, I’d served Brian at the coffee shop. And then seen his wife and her friend once. But what were we supposed to talk about? Heck, what were AJ and I supposed to talk about? The longest I’d ever been around him was what? Fifteen, twenty minutes tops?

It was warm outside, so I settled on a tank top and my favorite pair of shorts. Then I put my hair up in a loose ponytail. I wanted to look cute without seeming like I was trying. God. I wanted to look cute? I was in trouble. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d poured over the contents of my closet like this.

Oh, right. Never.

I headed outside right at two o’clock. He was parked out front. I cursed my heart rate for speeding up as I headed towards him. AJ was leaning against the car. He had a new pair of sunglasses on, but for once, it was understandable. The sun was streaming down on us. He looked casual: jeans and a t-shirt. But the jeans were well-fitted and the shirt was on the tighter side, displaying the logo of some band I’d never heard of.

I couldn’t help but smile a little. He’d been even more calculating in his wardrobe choice than I’d been. He looked sexy, and he knew it.

“You haven’t been waiting long, have you?” I asked, a little worried.

“Nah, I just got here,” he opened the door for me. “I didn’t think you’d be ready for awhile, though.”

Once he was sitting in the driver’s seat, I said, “Not all women need an hour to get ready, you know.”

He laughed. “No need to be so defensive. I was just saying…”

“So I wasn’t supposed to bring anything to this, was I?” The thought hadn’t occurred to me until now.

“Oh, no,” he said. “You’re good.”

We drove in silence for a few minutes, passing by my work as we went.

AJ kept glancing at me. “You nervous?”

“No,” I lied and raised my eyebrows, as if I thought the idea was ridiculous.

He still looked skeptical. “Don’t forget I said this wasn’t a date,” he said, putting that smug smile of his on his face.

“Are they able to fit any of your bandmates on CD covers with you, or does your ego take up all the space?”

AJ laughed. “Figured that would get you talking.”

I opened my mouth to say something else, but instead, I laughed with him. Maybe he was getting to know me a little better than I’d thought. “Where are we going?” I asked after another minute. We seemed to be heading out of Orlando.

“They live a little bit out of town. Both of them wanted more privacy.”

I could understand that. I wondered if fans just showed up at their doorsteps. It was probably hard to keep their location a secret sometimes. And Orlando could be really crowded. There were so many tourists, the houses were too often built close together…

We talked a little on the way there, but the silence was also comfortable. He turned on the radio, so we sang along to the songs we knew. The view gradually changed, becoming a little more scenic. More grass and palm trees, less concrete and cars.

Finally, we pulled into a nice neighborhood. The houses were beautiful, the yards expansive for this area of Florida. AJ drove up the long driveway. A row of bushes were planted along the road in front, giving it an added bit of privacy. Several cars were already parked out front.

“Come on,” AJ said, once we’d gotten out of the car. He’d grabbed two two-liters out of the backseat. I took one from him to help carry. He led me around the back of the house. I could already smell hamburgers and hot dogs as we rounded the corner.

I recognized Brian manning the grill, which was at the corner of a huge deck. There were built-in wooden seats along the edges of one side of it. That end was circular, with a matching wooden table in front of it and a white umbrella shade. The seating extended around the corner just as far as the table. The driveway seemed to wrap around from the other side of the house. I could see a basketball hoop, a ball lying in the grass. The backyard was fenced in, making it even more private than the front.

“Wow,” I said. “This is beautiful.”

“Hey, man,” AJ waved at Brian.

Brian looked up, grinning. “About time you got here, AJ.”

“Well, I had to pick up our guest of honor.”

I blushed. One more thing from today to add to the list of things that was unlike me.

“Nice apron,” AJ continued.

As we got closer, I noticed that it was light shade of pink, with white lace along the top.

“Real men wear pink,” he said proudly, a huge grin on his face.

“Looks much better on August,” AJ commented. “Anyways, you’ve met Michelle.”

Brian nodded, wiping a hand on his apron and extending it to me. “Not formally. I’m Brian.”

The way he introduced himself, you wouldn’t know he was world famous. There wasn’t any air of expecting anyone to know who he was.

“Brian Thomas Littrell, if you get grease on my apron…” August appeared.

“And there’s the missus,” he laughed. “August, this is Michelle.”

She turned around, looking a little embarrassed. “Oh! I didn’t know you were here yet… Hi! It’s nice to meet you. Again. Sort of…”

AJ laughed. Putting a hand over his mouth, he turned to me in a mock whisper. “Two of a kind, aren’t they?”

August rolled her eyes. “Here, I’ll take those,” she grabbed the two-liters from us. “I’m glad you could make it, Michelle. Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“Have you met everyone else?”

“August, we literally just got here,” AJ said.

“Yo, Brian! You want to play basketball?” someone had appeared near the hoop. He was tall, with blonde hair. Even from a distance, I knew who it was: Nick Carter. If I had a nickel for every girl I’d ever met who’d wanted to marry him, I’d be living in a house like this, too

Brian’s eyes lit up. “Sure…”

“Brian,” August said. “Forgetting something?”

He looked at the spatula in his hand. “Oh, right… In a few minutes, Nick!”

Nick looked a little disappointed. “How about you, AJ?” he asked, spotting him.

“Not right now,” AJ said.

Nick set the ball down, looking a little defeated. He started to head over to us, but stopped and picked up the basketball again, instead. I wondered what has caused his change of heart.

“Hey guys,” someone else appeared. I turned around to see Carmen. She was wearing an outfit similar to mine, but looked much more beautiful in it than I did. August introduced the two of us, though we had, sort of, already met as well.

She went inside with August, to bring the rest of the food out.

Brian kept glancing over at Nick while he grilled. “Food’ll be ready in a few, guys.”

AJ laughed. “You want me to finish up so you can go play?”

Brian looked hopeful. “Really?”

AJ grabbed the spatula from him, shoving him away from the grill.

Brian started to run off, but I told him to wait. I took the apron off of him, and he sprinted to join Nick.

“Oh, no,” AJ read the expression on my face.

“So you’re not a real man like Brian is?”

“I’m not a gay man…”

I rolled my eyes. “He's the one with the wife. You have no proof.”

He started to shake his head, but I put the pink apron on him, anyway.

“Aww, look how beautiful you look,” I smirked.

“Yeah, keep laughing. See if you can find another ride home…”

“Wow, AJ… I’ve seen you in some interesting outfits through the years, but this is something else.”

“Shut up, Howie,” AJ took the apron off and threw it at him.

Howie caught it and set it on the deck railing. “Good to see you, too. And you must be, Michelle?”

I nodded and shook his hand. It was so odd that everyone here knew who I was. I wondered what AJ had said about me. The three of us chatted for a few more minutes, as August and Carmen brought out everything else we needed.

I couldn’t believe how long Howie and AJ had known each other, even before being Backstreet Boys. It must’ve been nice to have friends you’d known for that long.

“Brian, where are the buns?”

“Of steel? Where?” AJ joked, pretending to look around. I smacked him on the shoulder.

“Huh?” Brian wiped his brow, as Nick and he came back from playing basketball.

“I asked you to get a hot dog buns this weekend...”

Brian’s eyes widened. “Oh…”

August looked mad, but she didn’t say anything.

“I can run to the store real fast,” Howie offered.

“You wouldn’t mind?” August asked.

“No problem. Anyone wanna come?”

“I will,” Nick volunteered. They left. The rest of us munched on chips, and they were back shortly after. The food was great. I was stuffed afterwards.

Later, I was sitting with AJ, Brian, Howie and Nick: the Backstreet Boys, it hit me. I laughed when they mentioned the name of a song they were working on because, to me, this really was an unsuspecting Sunday afternoon. Of course, they didn’t seem like pop stars right now. They seemed like any other group of friends, hanging out on a weekend.

August and Carmen were sitting in camping chairs in the yard, talking and laughing. I got the feeling that August was still annoyed at Brian. I also noticed that Nick and Carmen were avoiding each other, though I didn’t know why. I’d have to remember to ask AJ later.

“So could Kevin not make it today?” Howie asked when the conversation had lulled.

“What?” Brian asked, looking surprised.

“I’d thought he’d be here, too…”

“Why?” Nick asked. “This is for the group.” He glanced at me and added, “And the girls of the group members…” This time he glanced at Carmen. “And for the girl’s group members... best friends…”

“Wow, take a breath, Nick,” Brian was laughing at him. Howie was still looking at him expectantly. “We just didn’t invite him.”

“Oh,” now Howie seemed surprised.

“Well, like Nick said… we’re making some headway in the studio. This was kind of a group thing for all the hard work we're putting in right now. And Kevin’s… not in the group anymore.”

“So he’s banned from our events now?” AJ asked. He didn’t seem angry, but the question wasn’t light either.

Suddenly, I wished I was sitting with August and Carmen. They were enjoying whatever conversation they were having, whereas this one was getting tense.

“Sounds good to me,” Nick said, half laughing. Brian ignored him. “That’s not what I said, AJ.”

“Whatever,” AJ immediately backed away from the confrontation, holding his hands up.

Nick opened his mouth to say something, but August came over, oblivious to the tension. “Did you guys want any dessert? There’s a pie inside…”

“Ooh, pie?” Nick said. August laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.” She headed inside to grab it.

The situation sort of dissolved itself. Brian was impersonating Nick’s reaction to the word “pie.” Nick shoved him, with a smile on his face. They began rough-housing.

AJ stayed quiet next to me.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone over the age of eight act like this…” I mused, staring at Brian and Nick.

“Uh-oh,” Brian heard me and turned to Nick, pretending to whisper. “I think she’s going to put us in time-out…” He put a solemn look on his face, then he and Nick dramatically ran into the house.

I laughed. I noticed that AJ was laughing, too, so I was relieved. I made a mental note never to bring up Kevin if I could help it. There were obviously some issues there between him and the group.

“Be right back,” AJ said, getting up. A moment later, he came back with two slices of apple pie. “Here you go.”

“Oh, thanks, AJ. You shouldn’t have,” Howie said. AJ held the paperplate out of his reach. “You can get your own!” He handed it to me.

“Thanks,” I said, surprised. Howie did get up a moment later, and after a few bites of pie, he agreed to play a quick game with Nick and Brian. I realized that, for pretty much the first time all afternoon, AJ and I were alone.

The pie was wonderful, but I set it on the table, half-eaten. I wasn’t usually hungry when I was nervous. The sun was starting to set, and I leaned back against the deck railing.

“Thanks for coming,” AJ said.

“This was a lot of fun,” I said sincerely.

He nodded, about to say something.

“Aright, AJ, go play basketball with the rest of the boys,” Carmen said, walking up with August.

“Why?”

“You’ve been monopolizing Michelle all afternoon. We’ve barely gotten to get to know her.”

“Um… I’m not seeing the problem,” AJ smirked.

“Shut-up,” Carmen pulled him up. She started shoving him in the direction of the basketball game. “Play nice!” she called after him.

“She’s subtle, isn’t she?” August laughed, taking AJ’s seat.

“Oh, yeah,” I rolled my eyes.

“Having fun?” August asked.

I nodded, though I could tell she was looking for more than an answer.

“You and AJ seem to get along well…” This seemed to be a lead in.

“And you’re making fun of me for not being subtle?” Carmen laughed, turning to me. “Don’t mind her. In her head, she’s probably already got the two of you married off with kids…”

August looked distant for a second, then snapped back into reality. “That’s not true. I was just saying…” “Mmm-hmm.”

“Wow,” I said. “You two sure are best friends, all right.”

“Besides, August, what’s the fun of hearing about them getting together? I want to hear about you turning him down!”

I just laughed.

“Oh, I’m not kidding. What was he doing the first time you saw him?”

“Honestly?”

“Ooh,” August said, “this is going to be good.”

“I didn’t recognize them…”

“Me neither,” August mused. Then she added, “Long story…”

“I thought they were in a gang.”

“A gang?” Carmen roared with laughter.

“Well, AJ has, what? A million tattoos. And he kept calling Brian ‘Rock.’ Which, by the way, I’ve been meaning to ask someone about… Why the heck is he called that? No offense, but I don’t think he really resembles The Rock.”

August smiled. “His nickname is B-rok because he ‘rocks on the basketball court.’ He’s had it forever.”

I turned my attention to the game. Sure enough, Brian was doing a lay-up with ease and out-maneuvering everyone with his skill and speed. “Oh.”

“What else?” Carmen pressed.

“I kind of… blew him off. I wasn’t that nice, to be honest.”

“I’m going to need to get a copy of those security tapes… Any other reasons? Or just the whole gang thing?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “He was just so cocky about the whole thing. It was annoying.”

“What made you change your mind?” August wondered.

“What makes you think I have?” I said, slightly sarcastically but with a smile.

“I like her,” Carmen grinned, and luckily the conversation veered away from that question. I knew August was thinking that we were headed towards dating. Or, at least, a date, but… I didn’t think it was such a good idea. It was better I keep my distance.

It was funny to watch the two of them. They were completely opposite, but were almost like one person the way they could finish each other’s sentences.

And I could see why August and Brian were married, even if today wasn’t the best example. She was, while not as vocal and confident as Carmen, quick-witted enough to keep up with Brian’s sense of humor. And they seemed to have a relatively normal life, outside of his employment. Brian didn’t seem the rockstar type by any means. He probably craved normalcy at the end of the day, and August seemed very down to earth. I was willing to bet that having a famous husband hadn’t changed her in the least.

“Look!” Carmen pointed.

Nick was sitting on the pavement, clutching his knee. Howie was standing over him, apologizing. He must’ve tried to block Nick from taking a shot and accidentally pushed him.

“Foul!” Brian screamed dramatically, pretending to be an umpire and making a lot of wild, made up signals.

August murmured that she hoped he wasn’t hurt, while Carmen clutched the stitch in her side from laughing.

“So… do you and Nick not get along?” I knew they didn’t, but I was hoping this would lead to why.

“Oh, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you next time we hang out.”

Next time. They didn’t see the shocked look on my face because of the darkness falling and the fact that Nick was hobbling over, leaning on AJ, asking August for some ice. He wasn’t hurt too badly, but he’d have a bruise tomorrow.

I wondered if I would get to hang out with them again. It had been a long time since I’d spent time with a group of people like this. I didn’t have any friends left from… my old life. And I’d been very careful about who I let into this life.

Which was pretty much… no one.

It all hinged on AJ, anyway, if I I did want to get together with anyone again. And I didn’t know how long this friend kick would go on. It was probably one of those “enjoy it while you can” scenarios.

I really couldn’t explain any of it right now. All I knew was that it had been a great day. I didn’t want to worry about the future.

“You about ready to go?” AJ walked up.

I told him I was, and we said good-bye to everyone.

“What better way to end a party than with an injury?” AJ joked as we walked to his car. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to play b-ball so long.”

“No problem,” I said. This was a group event, I hadn’t expected him to stay by my side even as much as he had. He had every right to play basketball with his friends.

The ride back to my apartment complex went by too quickly. This time, I was surprised when he parked the car on the curb and walked me to the door of the building.

“Alright, call me obnoxious all you want,” AJ said, sighing. “Or persistent would be a much nicer way of putting it…”

My heart sped up. The answer was no. This wouldn’t work, couldn’t work. I knew better now, I reminded myself.

“Do you want to go out?”

No I didn’t, I answered him in my head. No.

“And it would be a date this time, just to make that clear,” he laughed. He looked vulnerable. He didn’t have that assurance anymore, which made complete sense as I’d turned him down so many times. AJ’s sincere brown eyes were staring into mine.

No, I just couldn’t say no.

“I’d love to.”

AJ smiled happily. Then added, “You really do hate the word yes, though, don’t you?”

“No,” I responded, purposefully being difficult.

~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

I was in the dog house, and I knew it.

Nick had been the last one to leave, but he’d helped me put the food away. I finished cleaning up the grill and the backyard looked normal again. I’d been hoping that would earn me some brownie points, but when I walked into the kitchen, I could tell it hadn’t.

She had “the look” on her face. It was subtle, but we’d been married long enough for me to be able to tell.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hi,” she answered, but her voice was toneless. She was rinsing out the cups we’d used tonight.

“Let me do those,” I said, making another attempt to help.

“No, it’s okay. I’m almost done.”

I leaned against the island. “Sorry I forgot the hot dog buns…”

This time she didn’t answer.

“Come on. It was an honest mistake.”

August turned around, after putting another cup on the drying rack. “It’s not just about that.”

I stared at her, confused. I wondered what else I’d done.

She crossed her arms, realizing that I was clueless as to what she was talking about. “Do you ever listen to me anymore, or do you just… drown me out and think about more important things?”

Whoah. I really hadn’t expected it to be this bad. “More important things? Like what? You are the most important thing.”

She sighed. “Nevermind.”

“No, seriously. You’re right, I’ve kind of been neglecting you lately…” I said, thinking back to the past few weeks. “I really am sorry, August.”

She heard the sincerity in my voice.

“It’s okay,” she said, and she seemed to mean it. “I’m just being moody today… I was a little stressed having everyone over today. A good kind of stressed, but…” she trailed off, her eyes apologetic.

I wrapped my arms around her, giving her a quick kiss on the top of her head. “Friends?” I grinned.

“Umm,” she held up her ring finger, “I hope we’re a little more than that.”

“I will love you more than that, I won’t say the words then take them back,” I sang in her ear, rocking her back and forth to the lyrics.

She said the first few words as I sang them. When I was finished, she added, “Yeah, I totally knew you were going to that.”

“I guess I’m just that predictable, huh?” I asked.

“When you pay enough attention,” August said, mostly to herself. She turned around, pulled me closer to her, and gave me a kiss.

Soon after, I glanced at the clock. “I guess I should be getting ready for bed…” I headed towards the door, then quickly turned around.

“Gotta go,” she said, beating me to it, a knowing smile on her face.

“Darn it!” I laughed. “You do know me too well, Mrs. Littrell,” I said as I climbed the stairs.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

By the time I got home from work on Monday, I’d checked my phone half a dozen times. As if, even though I had the volume turned up, I would’ve missed a call walking back to my apartment. I felt like I was in middle school or something.

AJ had said he’d call me today.

I wondered if he really would. He didn’t seem like one of the guys who just said they would and then never did. Or what if I was just choosing to believe he wasn’t? Or what if, now that I’d given in and said I’d go out on a date with him, he’d lose interest in me? The thrill of the chase was gone.

I tried to stop worrying. Deciding that my apartment was in need of being cleaned, I knew that would distract me. Some. I did the chores I’d been procrastinating lately: vacuuming dusting, dishes. I put away all my chores. I even felt the need to rearrange the living room furniture so that the sun from the window wouldn’t cause a glare on the TV screen anymore.

At least my stressed mental state was causing me to be productive. I felt much calmer now. My heart was beating normally. I wasn’t thinking about…

The phone rang.

In my cleaning rampage, I must’ve moved my cell. It wasn’t on the living room end table like I’d thought.

“Crap!” I muttered, frantically searching and throwing a few things out of my way as I did so, which undid some of my cleaning. That was just like my life.

It continued to ring.

I didn’t want to have to call him back. It would take me forever to work up the courage to dial. This was just ridiculous…

“Gotcha!” I found it underneath some towels I’d folded. “Hello.”

“Hey… Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No,” I tried to sound nonchalant. “Why?”

“You sound out of breath.”

I laughed in spite of everything. “I had to find the phone…”

“How was work?” he asked.

“Pretty sucky… so a regular day,” I laughed.

“Oh,” he seemed a little disappointed. Like he was hoping I’d be a better mood. “Listen…”

“Uh-oh. Why don’t I like the sound of that?” I hadn’t been paranoid after all. He’d never been interested in an actual date, just getting me to accept.

“We’ve got some producers to meet with. I’m going to be in Nashville all weekend. My flight leaves Thursday, actually.”

“Okay,” I said. “No big deal.” I hoped he couldn’t tell how disappointed I was.

“Don’t think you’re getting out of it that easy!” he scolded me. “I get a raincheck. When I get back, we’ll go on that date.”

“We’ll see,” I grinned.

“At least I know better now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know that that means yes in your language, even if you don’t come out and say it.”

“My language?” I sat on the couch, putting the cushions back in place from trying to find my cell phone.

“Michellish. There aren’t really any clear forms of agreement… You’ve got to study the language to get a good handle on it.”

“Interesting.”

“See? You just proved it… Anyways, we’re going to dinner tonight. Do you want to come?”

“Um,” I said, surprised. “Who’s we?”

“Brian, August, Carmen, and Howie I think.”

Another group event? I’d had a good time at the last one. “Why not?”

“So yes,” AJ translated.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re insufferable sometimes, you know that?”

“Right back at ya.”

I laughed. “You giving me a ride, or do I need to start walking?”

“You call me insufferable and then ask for a ride? I see how it is.”

We decided on a time and I was waiting out front. He was as punctual as last time. We headed to a restaurant near the mall. It wasn’t anything fancy, just an all-american food, family friendly type of restaurant. Everyone else was already there, in a spacious corner booth.

“Hey,” AJ said, taking off his sunglasses and sliding in next to Howie.

I took the last spot, on the other side of the booth opening next to August.

“Hey,” she greeted me, as the guys started discussing some chat they’d had with their manager today. “Good to see you again.”

“You, too,” I said. I noticed that she and Brian were holding hands. They must’ve re-patched the little argument they’d had yesterday.

“So where’s Diana tonight, Howie?” August asked, when they finished their conversation.

“One of her old college friend’s are in town, and they went shopping. And then they’re renting a chick flick to watch at our place… So eat as slowly as possible, everyone,” Howie said smiling. “Hopefully I’ll get to spend a little time with her this week before we leave.”

“Ooh, August, we can take over your place this weekend. This guy,” she jerked a thumb at Brian, “will be out of the way for once.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Glad to know that I will be missed.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t,” Carmen told him with a sugary smile. “Anyways, August, I think we need a girl’s night in. All this Backstreet Boy stuff all the time is nice and all… but the Backstreet Girls are getting neglected.”

“And whose girl are you?” Brian raised an eyebrow. “I certainly don’t claim you.” He cracked up at his own joke.

“Aw, I’ll take her,” Howie said.

“Wow,” AJ mused. “Carmen and Diana? Look who’s the popular Backstreet Boy these days.”

“The Backstreet Girls?” August shook her head, laughing.

“I guess that makes you Brianna?” I joked, wanting to contribute something to the conversation. It wasn’t like me to be this quiet.

Of course, it wasn’t like me to be out to dinner with a group of people, either. It was nice, feeling like I had a social life again.

“Ha! Brianna,” Brian let out a loud laugh, putting an arm around her.

“Then you’re…” AJ started.

“Don’t you dare say it--” Carmen pointed a finger at him.

“Nicole.”

She threw her napkin at him.

The rest of the meal was just as entertaining. I guess they spent a lot of time in close-quarters while on tour. Well, most of them. I wasn’t sure if Carmen had toured with them or not, since I didn’t know the whole Nick story. But it was like a family dinner. Everyone knew exactly which buttons to push on everyone else, while knowing where the line was.

By the time we headed back outside, it was almost dark.

“Michelle, Carmen and I really are having a girl’s night this weekend if you want to come,” August said. “Probably a sleepover, but you don’t have to stay all night if you don’t want to. It’s kind of a 12 year old activity, but…” She shrugged.

“No, it does sound like fun.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a sleepover. Years, certainly. A decade maybe.

“Friday night?”

Then I remembered something. “Oh…” I was too embarrassed to say it.

“What’s the problem?” Carmen joined the conversation.

I could take a taxi. But I thought about how far she lived… that would cost a good chunk of change.

“Oh, right,” August seemed to read my expression. “You haven’t gotten your car fixed yet, have you?”

My eyes widened. They really had heard a lot about me.

Carmen asked where I lived and I told her. “Oh, you’re not far out of my way. Give me your number. I’ll call you later in the week…”

I did, grateful, and said goodnight to them.

“Have fun?” AJ asked.

I nodded.

“I feel like I barely got to talk to you again…” he laughed. “Next time.”

“Who says I want to hang out with you again?” I asked, once in his car. “Maybe I think some of them are much cooler than you…”

“Okay, remind me not to let you spend any more time with Carmen. It seems like you’re getting even more of an attitude.”

The ride passed quickly. “Have a safe trip, okay?” I said.

“Aw, worried about me, darling?”

I rolled my eyes. “There’s that insufferable over-confidence again!”

“I’ll call you when I get back.”

“Okay,” I smiled, not wanting to get out of the car. I’d see him next week. It wasn’t a long amount of time at all, but it felt like it was going to be forever. “Have a good night.”

“You, too. Play your cards right, maybe you’ll get promoted to Alexandra.” He winked.

I laughed and headed up the sidewalk. He waited until I got to the door, and I waved before going inside, already counting down the days until I could see him again.

“What are you wearing?” Carmen asked.

“Umm…” I said, “clothes?”

“You’re going to a sleepover. Not… out in public,” she said.

She started to take her keys out of the ignition, so I hopped in the passenger seat before she could get out. My apartment was too messy for visitors. I noticed she was wearing a cute baby tee and matching, comfy pants in a brightly colored stripe pattern.

“See?” she said. “Sleepover attire.”

I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. “Well… I did bring pajamas.”

“Good. You’re going to need to change into them,” Carmen said, matter-of-factly. We didn’t talk much more on the way to August’s. Just sung along to the radio. We laughed when Quit Playing Games came up, and she turned the volume up even louder.

Once there, August greeted us from the front porch. “What are you wearing?” she asked me. She was wearing a pair of boxer shorts that I assumed were Brian’s and a t-shirt.

I rolled my eyes. “I get it. No need to echo each other… I’m changing!”

I did. Not into anything as cute as Carmen, but I had some sweatpants and a tank top. When I came back out, someone I didn’t recognize was standing with them.

“Michelle, this is Diana,” August introduced us.

She was a little taller than August, with dark hair and a friendly face. “Nice to meet you.”

I said hi, remembering that she was Howie’s girlfriend.

“You guys hungry?” August asked, leading us to the kitchen.

“Duh,” Carmen said, laughing.

“I’ve got some actual food I can make real quick, or…”

“What’s that smell?” Carmen inquired.

“Or,” August continued with a smile, “the cookies will be ready in a few minutes.”

“Sounds like a good dinner to me,” Carmen said, sitting down at the island. Diana and I agreed with her.

August offered me a quick tour of the house, and by the time we were finishing up, the oven timer was going off. We headed into the living room with all of our stuff. I felt like I was thirteen again.

“Look what I’ve got,” Carmen pulled something out of her bag.

“Ooh, we having a party?” Diana asked with a smile. “I’ve certainly had a long week at work… ugh.”

Carmen held up some strawberry daiquiri mix and Captain Morgans.

Okay, so that wasn’t anything we’d had at sleepover’s when I was thirteen.

“Cookies and rum?” August rolled her eyes. “What a well-balanced diet we’re having tonight. All right, if that’s what you guys want, let’s go make them. We just got a new blender, actually.”

We headed back into the kitchen and made our drinks.

“August, you not having any?”

“Oh,” August said, “no, I’m not in a drinking mood tonight. I just want what I’ve got,” she held up her lemonade.

“What?” Carmen asked. “You have to. This is our Friday night happy hour,” she grabbed another glass from the cupboard and poured August a drink. “It’s too bad you don’t have any of those little umbrellas. Oh, well. Here. Cheers.”

Carmen clinked everyone’s glasses, and we all took a sip of our daiquiris. Carmen followed Diana back into the living room. I started to go with them, but I turned to see if August was going to follow. She was spitting her sip back into the cup.

She caught my gaze. “Oh. I’m not really a fan of daiquiris. Don’t tell Carmen,” she laughed. “She’ll suggest something else and have us all doing shots.” She rolled her eyes and hurried into the living room.

“So, August, how’s your job going?” Diana asked when August and I sat down on the couch. “We’ve already established that I’m ready to retire.”

“You work?” I asked, eyes wide. Then I realized how rude I’d sounded. “I mean…”

“Don’t apologize,” Carmen laughed. “I’ve asked her that a million times. She could just sit back and relax.” She turned to August. “Your hubby can more than support both of you.”

I had thought August stayed home. Every time I was here- well, both times I’d been here- she’d been cooking and the house was beautiful and tidy. Like something you’d find on the cover of a Better Homes and Gardens Magazine.

August shook her head and sighed, proving Carmen’s statement that they’d had this conversation before. “I would feel useless sitting around the house all day. I don’t write because I have to. I write because I want to.”

“For the newspaper?” I asked.

August nodded, starting to say something else. Diana’s cell started ringing.

“Aw,” she looked at the front to see who was talking.

“It’s your boy, isn’t it?” Carmen grabbed it from her.

“Hey!” Diana laughed.

Carmen picked it up. “Excuse me, this is a girls only event… Mmm-hmm. You guys miss us that much, huh?” She held out the cell to Diana. “How do you put the cell on speakerphone?”

Diana pushed a button. “Hi, Howie!”

“Hey, baby!” Howie said.

There were several males voices groaning.

“Do you have it on speaker, too?” Carmen asked.

“Yeah… say hi, guys,” Howie said.

“How’s the slumber party going?” I heard Nick’s voice. “Lots of pillow fights, right?”

“You wish, Carter!” Carmen said, sarcastically.

“How’s my wife doing?” Brian asked.

August smiled. “I’m good. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too!”

“It’s sad how whipped you are,” Nick said.

“What?” Brian responded, and we could hear them rough housing even over the phone.

“Michelle?”

My heart sped up as I heard AJ’s phone. “I’m here.”

“They aren’t brainwashing you are they? Watch out for that Carmen…”

I laughed. “Of. Course. Not,” I answered, in a robotic voice. “I. Speak. For. Myself.”

“Good, girl,” Carmen praised dramatically. “Don’t worry, AJ. I’ll be sure to tell her lots of stories about you tonight.”

“Jeez. That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Alright guys,” Howie said, “wrap it up. You have your own phones.”

“Bye!” they yelled, and Diana and Howie took the speakerphones off.

After a short conversation, she got off the phone.

“So, how long have you been dating Howie?” I asked.

“Oh… gosh, it’s been years. Since right before Millennium was released.”

I tried to remember when that CD had been released. The 90s, surely. Wow, I couldn’t believe they weren’t married. I wished I knew her well enough to pry.

We watched a chick flick and filled up on cookies. I didn’t know the last time I’d had this much fun. With a pang of regret, I remembered my old friends. I wondered what they were doing now, back at home. Did they ever think about me? Ever wonder what had happened to me? I’d left without notice, without telling them where I was going. I couldn’t even remember why I’d settled on Orlando. I think I’d just wanted somewhere sunny, and I figured there were jobs and lots of things to do in the area.

Not to mention it was far enough away that that life could never find me again. I shuddered.

I realized August and Carmen were saying something about Nick.

“You know, you never told me the story with you two.”

“Oh. Ugh,” she made a face.

“You promised,” I reminded her.

“Alright. Let’s see… I met him through her,” she jerked a thumb at August. “We dated for like… gosh, a year? Then took a break. He was so busy! Black and Blue came out, and they were still in the middle of… Backstreetmania. We got back together as they were recording Never Gone. I started seeing him more again through August. Um, lets see. Oh, we started getting serious. Then they went on tour, and the jerk didn’t want to have a girlfriend while he was traveling around the world.”

“Ouch,” I said.

“Yeah,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant and simply angry. There was an underlying tone of hurt though. “At that point, they hadn’t toured together in several years. I guess he got the taste of freedom back, and was like ‘while am I wasting my time with just one woman?’”

“Wow. So it’s been several years since you’ve dated him?” I asked. After all, they were working on a new album now. That CD couldn’t have been too recent. I found that odd, since they were still rivaling as if the wounds were still fresh.

“Well…” Carmen started.

August laughed. “You hoping she wouldn’t catch on?”

Diana turned to me. “They got back together recently. Didn’t last long.”

“I thought he’d grown up,” Carmen defended herself. “Turns out, he’s still a moron. So we’re done now. For real.”

“That’s what you said last time,” August said, loftily.

“You know what?” Carmen grabbed her pillow and smacked August with it.

“Aww, a pillowfight,” I said. “You’re making Nick’s dreams come true!”

Carmen ceased immediately. “Have I mentioned that he needs to grow up?”

“Never,” Diana laughed.

“Him and AJ,” Carmen rolled her eyes. “One girl after another.”

This caught my attention. August noticed and sent Carmen a look. Carmen didn’t get the memo and continued.

“Bachelors for life, I swear. Especially if Nick ever settled down, I’d have a heart attack.”

One girl after another? I didn’t like the sound of that.

“I don’t think you’re giving them enough credit,” August said pointedly. “Especially AJ…”

“What?” Carmen stared at her. I noticed her daiquiri glass was empty. Apparently she was one of those people who tended to talk after drinking some alcohol. “Remember the last girl he dated? And, jeez, you remember the girl way back in the day who tried to break you and Brian up?”

I began to wonder how many people he’d dated before me. Not that this was new information. He was a famous musician, so it didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that the number was high. But his charm and friendliness had made me forget my initial reservations. He’d shown me he wasn’t the “kind” of guy I’d thought. Which is what had led to trouble in the past. I’d started my life over once. I didn’t think I was strong enough to do it again.

But, from what Carmen was saying, he was exactly what I’d thought. It was like he was split into two people, with contradicting personalities. Which AJ was… AJ?

August, realizing that her subtle hints to Carmen weren’t working, suggested a game. We pulled out Clue, a childhood favorite of mine, and started setting up the board. The conversation veered away from AJ, and I tried to concentrate on the game and spending time with them.

But I couldn’t fully force her comments from my mind.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

I was sitting at the studio’s piano, testing some chords. I wasn’t a great piano player by any means, but I wasn’t half bad, either. I’d had a melody in my head for a few weeks now. It hadn’t amounted to much yet, but I was hoping it would. It was catchy. With the right instrumentation, it was slightly R&B. More like our older sound than the songs on Never Gone.

“What are you playing?” Howie came in.

“Not sure yet,” I shrugged. “We’ll see.”

We already had a dozen or two songs recorded. They ranged as far as music style went. We were now starting the process of narrowing them down.

“You know Inconsolable?” Howie asked.

“What about it?”

“That’s what they’re pushing for the first single.”

“Pushing who? Us?”

Howie nodded. “They said it’s the kind of song that’s worked for us in the past.”

“Well… yeah,” I began. It was a good song. And it did fit the “Backstreet sound.” That wasn’t the only thing to consider, though. “But the music scene has changed a lot since then. It only makes sense that we need to, too.”

“I don’t know. Better safe than sorry.”

“But we have some good uptempos,” I argued.

Nick came in and made a disgruntled sound. “Do you think that matters to the record company? They want adult contemporary from us.”

“That’s crap,” I muttered, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. I was getting agitated.

“Yeah, but it’s true,” Nick said.

“Well, our fans are growing up…” Howie was trying to defend the record company.

“How old do you think they are? They’ve gone from twelve to forty in less than a decade?” Nick asked, sarcastically.

Howie didn’t answer.

“Jeez, someone die in here?” Brian walked in, sensing the tension. “We going to finish writing this song or what?” he continued when no one answered.

We agreed, though unenthusiastically. We’d be flying back to Orlando tomorrow. We’d gotten a lot done, but there were still issues that were going to need to be sorted out before we finished the album. Our defining sound was one. And it felt like Kevin was hanging over us still. I’d really noticed his absence this weekend.

“AJ wrote some more for the second verse,” Howie handed Brian the sheet of paper we’d been scribbling lyrics on.

“How come I was the last to know?” Brian sang, laughing. He read them over. “Not bad. Let’s see how it sounds.”

He grabbed a guitar and we went through what we’d gotten. An hour later, we had most of the song worked out. Some of our producers listened to it and approved. I really hoped this one made it onto the album. I wanted this CD to showcase our songwriting talents.

“I’m getting together with JC next week,” I mentioned to Brian, as we walked into the hotel lobby that night.

He opened his mouth in shock. “Fraternizing with the enemy! He’s going to sabotage our sound. Try to make the song come out like an N’SYNC one…”

I shoved him, laughing. “No, it’s totally original. Nothing like their old sound. We’re thinking about naming the song Hello, Hello, Hello.”

He started singing, “Hey, hey. Hi, hi, hi.”

“Oh,” I laughed at myself. “Yeah, that was more clever.”

“I am the funny one,” he grinned widely. “And it’s cleverer.”

Rolling my eyes, I looked at my watch as we got on the elevator. “This day has gone by pretty quickly.”

“This summer is, too,” Brian said. Then, he seemed to remember something. “Oh, man.”

“What?”

“My anniversary’s coming up. Good thing I remembered…” he said, mostly to himself. “I’ve been so into the music lately, I haven’t thought about much else. I’m just ready to get back out there. To prove that we can do it with four people. That we don’t need Kevin.”

“Ouch.”

“It was his choice to leave the group,” Brian pointed out.

“So,” I said, glad he and I were finally having this conversation privately, “you agree with Nick on all things Kevin?”

Brian paused, thinking. “I wouldn’t put it that simply. But I guess I relate to him more than to you and Howie.”

“He might come back, you know. Someday.”

Brian shook his head. “I don’t think so. I mean, you never know. But he was pretty adamant.”

“You sound mad at him.”

“Disappointed,” Brian said. “Think about all the work we’ve put into making this group what it is today. Remember trying to earn the market’s respect in the beginning? I mean, it’s been tough. And here we are trying to prove that we’re still relevant, and he gives up.”

“I wouldn’t say that he’s given up,” I said.

“That’s not how he put it,” Brian assented, “but that’s what he thinks. I still care about being a Backstreet Boy. If he doesn’t, then I’m not going to worry about him.”

“He kept us together,” I argued. But I realized that I hadn’t worded that correctly. He’d kept me together. When my life was falling apart around me, he’d stepped in. And he’d done so because he’d cared. I didn’t think any of them got where I was coming from. Maybe him being in the group had meant the most to me. I wondered who I’d turn to now that he wasn’t around. All those nights on the road, dealing with the media and the public more again, as I did with every album release. Would I be able to handle it on my own?

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

The next weekend, I was having another wardrobe crisis. This one was even worse than the cook-out. What was a girl supposed to wear on a date with a Backstreet Boy?

I felt stupid as I dialed the phone but glad I’d been given the number.

“Hello?”

Crap. I was hoping he wouldn’t be the one to answer. “Um. Hey, is August there?”

“Sure,” Brian said. “Let me go find her… aren’t you supposed to be with AJ tonight?”

“Um,” I so eloquently said again. “I’m getting ready.

“Ohhh…” I could hear his smile over the phone. “Girl talk. I get it.” He put on a voice that reminded me of a gay designer. “You should wear those shoes from that store that go with that dress. It’ll look absolutely fabulous!”

I laughed. I’d never appreciated his humor so much: it was calming me down. “Well, thanks so much for solving that problem for me.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Here she is,” he said.

“Thanks,” I replied. “Hey August. I need help!”

She laughed, hearing the desperation in my voice. “What’s the problem?”

“What did you wear on your first date with Brian?”

“You’re calling me for clothes advice? Carmen still dresses me when I have to go to awards shows with Brian. I don’t remember what I wore.”

I sighed, frustrated, as I decided against another outfit.

“You’ve met AJ, right? Very different sense of style. I’m sure he’ll appreciate anything unique. Does that help?”

“Not really,” I said, truthfully.

“It’s going to be fine. It’s just like any other first date.”

“Do you know how long it’s been since…” I stopped myself, feeling stupid and not wanting to go there. “I’ll find something that’ll do. Hopefully.”

“Deep breathe,” she said. “Have a good time. And I expect to get a full report!” she laughed.

“Okay,” I said. “Will do.”

I wasn’t much of a dress-up person. And I had no idea where we were going tonight. I settled on my favorite pair of jeans and a peasant-style blouse. It was slightly hippie, but I liked it. And it was unique, so I was following August’s directions. I left my hair down today, going for something different. I always had to have it pulled back at the coffee shop, and that’s where he usually saw me.

I headed outside.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said.

“Jeez!” I jumped back, heart racing.

He was leaning against the building as I came out the front door. AJ started laughing, “You jumped like ten feet.” Then he took a closer look at my expression, and turned serious. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” I said, trying to calm down.

AJ put an arm around my shoulder. “You ready to go?”

“Where we going?”

“Out,” he said simply.

“Thanks for clearing that up for me,” I rolled my eyes and hopped into his car. I noticed that it was different than the one he usually drove. “Is this a Porsche?”

He nodded, proudly.

If someone had told me a few weeks ago that I’d be on a first date with a Backstreet Boy, riding around in a Porsche on a Saturday night, I would’ve thought that they were out of their minds.

We headed towards downtown Orlando and pulled into the parking lot of one of the restaurants. I could tell that it was fancier than anywhere I could afford. We headed inside and, after AJ whispered something to the hostess, we were taken to the back of the restaurant. There were French doors that led us to an outdoor eating area, with a view of Lake Eola. There were white lights that gave the area a romantic setting, as well as fans overhead to battle the Florida summer heat.

I felt under dressed, although the restaurant wasn’t strictly coat and tie. I sat down across from him, taking in the view of the water.

“This is…” I trailed off, watching the lights from the buildings reflect off the lake. I didn’t know what I’d been expecting, but nothing like this. He hadn’t seemed like a nice, quiet dinner type of guy.

Then I couldn’t help but wonder how many other girls he’d taken to places like this.

“Not what you were expecting is it?” AJ asked.

I was trying to figure out how to answer. Luckily, the waiter cut my sputtering short.

He offered us a glass of wine. I accepted; AJ quickly shook his head. I started looking over the menu. The prices were… well, pricey. I bit my lip.

“Get whatever you want,” AJ urged.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he laughed.

After we ordered, I tried to think of something to say. “How was your trip?”

“Um,” he shifted in his seat. “It was good.”

“Uh-huh,” I said. “That doesn’t really sound believable.”

“It’s… well, it is what it is. You know all about my job though. We haven’t ever really talked about you.”

“Oh,” I said. “There’s really nothing interesting to say… I mean, I serve coffee. Heck, I’m not even worth the management job.”

“Why do you stay there? You really should be in management. You keep things running smoothly at that place.”

“I don’t know. Where else would I work?”

“It’s called the want ads.”

“I… well, I guess I’ve gotten used to working there.”

“Have you always lived in the area?” he asked, munching on a breadstick.

I paused. I hadn’t thought about questions I’d have to answer tonight. “No.”

“So…” he laughed. “Where are you from?”

“Maine,” I said finally.

“Wow. Doesn’t get much further from here than that. How’d you end up in Florida?”

“I liked that it was far away, actually. I guess I got sick of the snow,” I said. That wasn’t a total lie, I tried to tell myself.

“Don’t blame you. God, I’d freeze up there. It’s hard to tour sometimes. One day, you’re enjoying the sun, the next day you’re flying north and trudging through the snow.”

The food came out shortly, and the conversation moved onto other topics.

“You know, I need to take you out like this more often.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t think you’ve said one sarcastic thing all night. Kind of a miracle.”

“Maybe that means I’m saving up,” I shot back. “The second we get away from the civilized society…”

“Oh, I see. At least I’ve been forewarned,” he said, taking the last few bites of his food. “You ready?”

I nodded, he paid the bill, and we headed outside.

“You want to go for a walk?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said, as he linked his arm into mine. “Thanks for dinner.”

“No problem.”

“So…” I said, wanting to go back to an earlier conversation. “What happened on the Nashville trip? Are you having problems with the new CD?”

He sighed, glancing at me as if he were deciding whether or not to confide in me. “We fought with Kevin… a lot last time around. He was just on a different page than us when we were recording and touring. This time, the rest of us are on a different page when it comes to him.”

“I guess its weird not having the fifth group member around.”

“I can’t even remember the last time I saw him.”

“Well, I’m sure you guys will be fine with just the four of you.”

He nodded, but looked out over the lake. I tried to read his expression.

“That’s not it, is it?”

“I thought it was the big issue. I just… hadn’t realized what having him in the group meant to me personally.” He paused again. “A few years ago, I got sucked into the rockstar lifestyle. What’d you call it? The popstar bubble. It ain’t as grand as everyone thinks… I was doing drugs and drinking way too much.”

A Backstreet Boy with a drug problem? This was news to me. I remembered them for the squeaky clean image that had so many of my peers in adoration over them. “What happened?”

“Kevin realized that I had a problem. He stepped in. He yelled at me. I yelled at him. He told me that I was dead to him, actually. But he woke me up to what I’d been doing. Long story short, I went to rehab, and, well, I owe him a lot.”

“Well, just because he’s not in the group anymore, doesn’t mean he’s not still around, AJ. I mean, if you needed him, I’m sure he’d be there for you.”

AJ nodded.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. I couldn’t believe that he’d surprised me again. It seemed like this was yet another layer to him. I appreciated that he’d opened up to me. I felt foolish for doubting him because of Carmen’s comments. I couldn’t picture him opening up to just anyone about this. I was grateful he trusted me.

And guilty that I couldn’t trust him with all of my problems.

“So, did I pass your test?” AJ asked. “Before I killed the mood with talk of drug addictions, anyway.”

“Test?”

“Tonight. What made you change your mind and decide to come out with me?”

I thought about how to put it. “You weren’t as bad of a jerk as I thought you were.” I laughed.

“Oh, this is that built-up sarcasm, right?”

“Perhaps,” I said.

He laughed again and then waited, obviously wanting a more sincere answer.

I decided that he’d been honest with me, so I owed him the same in return. Maybe I could let him in, just a little. “You reminded me of… someone I used to know. I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I didn’t want to waste my time on anyone who wasn’t worth it. But you ended up being much different than I expected.”

“Well, good to know,” he smiled.

“Stop,” I pointed a finger at him. “Don’t get cocky. That was an initial turn off, remember?”

AJ laughed. A real laugh this time, the one that made his whole face light up. The one that I knew was the real him.

At least, I hoped that it was. That was the AJ I was so quickly falling for.

He stopped to look into the window of a shop we were passing. It was some kind of urban-clothing store. I moved back to the other side of the sidewalk to get out of the way of a group trying to pass us.

A moment later, I heard, “AJ!” A tall, slender blonde quickly approached him, throwing her arms around him.

“Uh, hey, sweetheart,” he said, surprised.

Sweetheart?

“You were supposed to call me back last week! Where’d you disappear to?”

“Oh. Out of town. Recording, you know.”

“Well, hon, when are we going to get together again? That night we had was magical…”

I didn’t want to listen to anymore of this crap. I headed down the street, sitting on the first park bench I came to that wasn’t occupied. Everything that Carmen had said rushed back to me.

It was several minutes later that AJ found me. “Hey,” he said, awkwardly, sitting down next to me.

“What happened to Sweetheart? I can get a cab if you two want some alone time. You know, a continuation of ‘that magical night.’” I rolled my eyes.

“First of all, I call everyone sweetheart. Second of all, she’s no one. And, not that it really matters, but I didn’t call her back for a reason. And I’m not planning on it.”

“Why not?”

“That was before you said you’d go out with me. Not that we’re exclusive or anything,” AJ added, trying to make that perfectly clear.

I cursed. “I guess I don’t technically have a right to be mad.”

“You’re pretty sexy when you’re jealous though.”

I scowled at him. “Is that you’re usual type of date? I’m nothing like that. So tell me something. I let you know why I decided to go out with you, now you tell me why you wanted a date in the first place.”

“You’re different.”

“Different? Oh thanks,” I said, sarcastically.

“She, to put it bluntly, is infatuated with me.” He smiled as I rolled my eyes again and then continued. “A lot of people are. Comes with the being famous thing. You, on the other hand, don’t put up with any of my crap. Makes life interesting.”

“So I’m the female version of Kevin?” I managed to laugh a little as I said it. The fact that he hadn’t called her because we were going on a date was sinking in. “Calling you on everything, I mean.”

“You are much, much prettier than Kevin,” AJ smirked. “He’s not really my type to be honest.”

“Loser,” I punched him playfully on the shoulder.

“Michelle,” he turned serious. “I’m not claiming to be perfect. I’ve screwed up. I still screw up, all the time. But I’m trying here.”

There was so little chance this could turn into something with us, as far as lasting went, I reminded myself again. Carmen was probably right about him not settling down anytime soon. And I didn’t know how forgiving I could be with the screw-ups. My heart was still putting itself back together.

But I believed in him. My judgment didn’t have a perfect record, but I gazed into his brown eyes. There was something there. It didn’t matter that the tramp- I guess not all of my jealously had faded- had shown up. That he’d been to rehab. That he was admitting to still sorting everything out. In his eyes I could see that he wouldn’t let me down.

As much as I went back and forth on the subject, the sincerity in his eyes had been a constant.

We headed back to my apartment. He walked me to the door.

“Thanks for tonight, Alex.”

He looked at me, his eyes sparkling.

“What?” I asked, suddenly self-conscious.

“You’ve never called me that before. Always AJ.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t even realize it…”

“No, it’s okay.” He flashed a grin again.

“Um… do you want to come up?” I hated to think what he’d say if he saw my crappy apartment. It would be the total opposite of what he lived in. But he’d shown me the real him, I thought, tonight. I figured I should return the favor and open up a little more of my life to him.

AJ paused, about to nod. Then he stopped. “No, it’s getting late. Thanks, though.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling a little rejected that he wanted to end the date. “Well, night.” I turned to go.

He slipped his hand in mine. “I’ll call you, okay?”

“Really call me? Or… like that chick thought you were gonna call her call me?”

He laughed. “Really call you.”

I was too lost in his eyes to realize that he was leaning towards me. He kissed me, soft and slow, putting his hands on my waist. Just as my head started spinning, he broke it, smiling widely.

“Good night,” he said, heading back down the sideway.

“Good night,” I answered, unable to keep the sigh out of my voice. I headed inside, on cloud nine. The recent bout of luck was unexpected and perhaps undeserved, but I was grateful for it.

I got back to my apartment and closed the door behind me, still smiling. I threw my purse down, and grabbed my cell phone. I’d forgotten to turn the volume back up after dinner. I had a text message from a number I didn’t recognize.

I dropped the phone, suddenly feeling unsafe in my surroundings.

You can run, but you can’t hide.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

I wish I could tell her

you’re one in a million

you’re going the distance, babe

you’re gonna work it out someday

“What do you think?” I asked Nick in the studio.

“You mean all three lines of it?” Nick raised his eyebrows.

“Hey, a starts a start. More than you’ve been coming up with lately,” I pointed out, playing that part again on the piano.

“I’m just kidding. Is that a verse? Doesn’t really sound like the right way to begin the song.”

I nodded in agreement. “I was thinking the chorus. But I can’t come up with the rest.”

“Sing the first part of it again,” Nick said.

I did. “You’re gonna work it out someday…”

“But you never even look my way!” Nick finished and then laughed.

“What was that?”

“Michelle turning you down a million times.”

“The song’s not about Michelle.”

“It is now!” Nick laughed again.

“Shut up,” I said. “Where are Brian and Howie? I thought we were only taking fifteen?”

He shrugged. “I’ll go find them.”

I waited until he left before I tried out his lyric again. I hated to admit it, but it wasn’t half bad. It just needed something else. Maybe more in between the two lines? I was still working on the chorus when everyone came back in, so I stopped playing. At least some lyrics were taking shape. I’d keep working on it and see what I came up with. It was definitely a song I wanted to figure out.

Things were getting hectic. The CD was taking shape. We were laying down vocals and deciding which voice we liked for each part. We were shooting for a fall release, so we were working some crazy hours. When we weren’t talking about the CD, we were discussing the tour. There was even a radio promo tour in the making. We wanted to make sure the stations would play our first single, whatever song that ended up being.

“Didn’t you go out with Michelle this weekend?” Brian asked.

I was at his house. I’d been invited over for dinner again, and Nick had tagged along. August and Carmen were in the kitchen. Apparently, Carmen had already planned to be over tonight and Brian had forgotten. Carmen hadn’t been thrilled to see Nick show up. Both were too stubborn to leave, though, so they were both employing the classic cold shoulder.

We’d been set to work clearing off the dining room table.

“Yeah… What is all this crap, Brian?” I asked. Usually the place was spotless. Today, there were some magazines and bills, among other things, lying on top of the table.

“We’ve been working so late, and I’ve been out of town off and on with you guys, I haven’t really been home for dinner much,” Brian shrugged. “But, anyway, how’d it go?” he pressed.

“Good,” I said, as August came in with some plates.

“You told me some other chick showed up…”

I smiled sheepishly. “Thanks Nick.”

“What ‘other chick’?” August asked.

“This girl I’d gone on a few dates with. Wasn’t a big deal. I told Michelle I’d gone out with her instead of Cheryl. So, no harm done.”

“Hm,” August thought for a second, and then went back into the kitchen.

“So,” Nick asked. “I never got to hear about the rest of the date. Did you two… you know.”

“You are such a male,” Carmen said, glaring at him, dumping some forks on the table and then leaving the room again.

“Thank-you!” Nick said.

“That wasn’t a compliment!” Carmen called.

“No…” I answered Nick’s question.

“No? Seriously?” Nick asked, wide-eyed.

“So?”

“So? How long have you known her? You’re really not one to take your time… She wasn’t interested, was she?” Nick asked.

“Wow, Nick. You’re so supportive,” Brian laughed, rolling his eyes.

“Actually, she invited me up. I mean, just because I haven’t seen her place. Didn’t mean anything, but I didn’t, I went home…”

“Are you feeling well, AJ?” Nick was still astonished. He felt my forehead in case I was delirious with fever.

I noticed August, who’d come back out to set the forks with each plate since none of us had bothered, was eying me thoughtfully again.

“What?”

“Oh,” she said innocently. “Nothing. Just thinking.” She smiled to herself and went back into the kitchen one last time to get the food.

“Have you talked to her since then?” Brian asked.

“No. I’ll call her tonight or stop by the coffee shop tomorrow.”

“You haven’t called?” Carmen came in and sat down in the seat furthest from Nick. “What is wrong with you?”

“I said I will…”

“Men,” she said.

“Is that all you ever contribute to conversations?” Nick asked her. “Just because you can’t find a guy, doesn’t mean you need to be so grouchy around everyone else.”

“Excuse me? Can’t find a guy? It’s certainly not hard to find a guy better than you!” Carmen shot back.

“Really? You were the one wanting to get back together just a little while ago… If I’m not so great, why are you begging for more?” Nick said smugly.

“You’re crazy, Carter. It was a temporary moment of insanity.”

“Good. A guy would have to be crazy to be able to handle you long-term.”

“Jerk,” she muttered, standing back up and storming off to the kitchen.

I faintly heard her mutter something to August. A minute later, she was grabbing her stuff and heading out the front door. I stood there, surprised, wishing the tension would go away. Usually, Carmen would have kept the sparring match going until Nick had run out of things to say.

August stood in the doorway, livid.

“What’s with her?” Nick asked. “She’s not usually that dramatic.”

“She’s had a horrible few days. She’s got stuff going on at work, and her great uncle died over the weekend…”

“Oh. I didn’t know…” Nick started to apologize, looking guilty.

August didn’t hear him. She’d already turned to Brian. “Which is why I invited her to dinner tonight. Something I mentioned to you when I called you on your lunch break today. She wasn’t expecting to see you, Nick. And you could’ve been nicer…”

“She started it,” he said, though he still looked sorry.

“Are we three years old now?” August looked tired. “Whatever. I’m not feeling well, so I’m not hungry. Food’s in there. Help yourself, and clean up afterwards. I’m not doing it.” With one final glance in Brian’s direction, she headed upstairs.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

By Tuesday morning, I was exhausted. Saturday night, I hadn’t slept a wink. The two night’s since had only been slightly better. How had he found my number?

I was cancelling my cell phone service after work today and getting a different number. My only solace was that he, at least, wasn’t here. Just because he’d somehow managed to track down my telephone number, didn’t mean he knew where I lived.

Still, I’d put pepper spray in my purse. You could never be too careful.

“Michelle.”

I jumped, instantly looking behind me.

“Jeez, what’s with you?” Jack wanted to know.

I didn’t answer. He handed me a cloth to wipe down the tables with. I began doing so when I heard the door open.

“Hey, you,” AJ walked in.

“Hey,” I said. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him. The hug made me feel safe and protected.

“Aw, miss me?”

I was able to get a hold of myself and let go of him. “You wish.” I shouldn’t have missed him as much as I had. You won’t be able to hold his interest, I reminded myself.

AJ laughed, so used to my sarcasm by now that he didn’t even respond. “You want to catch a movie tonight?”

“You don’t call for three days, and now you expect me to be free tonight with almost no notice?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Isn’t it better that I deliver the invitation in person?” he laid on the charm with a smile.

“What movie?”

“You can pick.”

“I want popcorn.”

“Done.”

“And a soda.”

“You’re pushing it,” he said, then grinned. “Just kidding. I promise you can load up at the concession stand.”

“Alright then,” I said. It’d be good for me to get out of my apartment. I didn’t want to spend another night alone. I’d been having nightmares about Peter. I hadn’t seen him since I’d moved to Orlando, and I wanted to keep it that way. My address was unlisted. I didn’t belong to facebook or myspace, or any site he could use to track me down for that matter. I’d been nothing if not careful.

Why now, that I was finally finding some happiness, did he have to ruin it?

If it was him, I reminded myself. I got wrong numbers occasionally, just like everyone else. The same went for texts. Maybe it wasn’t meant for me.

Still, the haunting message had me uneasy.

“Are you okay?” AJ asked.

“Yeah,” I lied. “Long day,” I said, motioning around me, blaming my mood on work. “I’m glad you’re here to distract me.”

“Well,” he said apologetically, “I need to get back to the studio, actually. But I’ll pick you up… around five? I’ll call.”

“Oh, my cell died. I’m getting a new one, but I don’t know the number yet…”

“You know you can keep your same number, right?”

“Um, no. There’s a new plan that’s a great deal, so I have to change it. Anyways, see you at five.” I waved him off, feeling horrible for having lied to him.

Another scar Peter had left with me: the ability to lie quickly and convincingly. I’d become a pro, trying to explain the marks and bruises.

But I had a new life now. I shook all those thoughts out of my head. I had another date tonight. A car was in my not-so-distance future- I’d been picking up some extra shifts. Then, I wouldn’t be walking all over creation. I’d be able to hang out with August, Diana, and Carmen without needing a ride.

Yes, I decided, the text didn’t mean anything. I’d wasted several days being afraid. Now, I was going to go to the movies and relax.

It had been almost a week since I’d received that terrifying text. Since then, nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. It was becoming easier to set it in the back of my mind. Would I ever completely get over being afraid of him finding me?

I hoped so. I had so many other things now to concentrate on.

“Where’s your focus?” AJ asked.

“Oh, sorry,” I laughed as the bowling ball went into the gutter.

“My turn!” Brian said, soon getting a strike.

“Man, Rok, I swear you’re cheating,” AJ muttered.

We were Wii bowling on teams at AJ’s house. August and Brian were currently playing AJ and I. Dianna and Carmen were going to play the winners. Howie was mentally keeping track of the tournament. He and Nick were on a team since Nick and Carmen refused to play together.

Each kept glancing at the other, but they hadn’t spoken much today. Not even to argue, which was weird. I’d have to ask August when I had a moment what was going on with them.

I smiled inwardly. It was drama, but the interesting, strangely enjoyable kind. Harmless, which was nice.

AJ got a spare, August a strike, and it was my turn again.

“Alright, Michelle, you can do this,” AJ told me.

I was still thinking about his eyes gazing into mine when I turned back to the flat screen. I knocked down four pins. “Oops…”

August and Brian won the game, and Dianna and Carmen took the remote we’d been using.

This was my first time at AJ’s house. It was even more spectacular than I had imagined, though very different from the Littrells. Theirs was more homey, while AJ’s was slightly more modern contemporary and display. There weren’t as many personal touches as Brian and August’s, although they were also a married couple. Maybe this is what a celebrity bachelor pad looked like.

He had all the latest electronics- the flat screen, a Wii, an X-box 360, and Blue-rays. The living room was hooked up with surround sound, so it actually felt like we were in a bowling alley.

AJ went into his kitchen and I followed. “You want something to drink?”

“Sure. What do you have?”

He rummaged through the fridge and pulled out some cans of soda.

“So,” I said, “What is with everyone?” I’d planned on asking August, but I’d been noticing that she and Brian were slightly formal with one another tonight, too.

“What do you mean?”

“Nick and Carmen for starters.”

He told me about their encounter the other day, and I nodded. “And Brian and August?”

AJ looked at me, confused. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged. “Seems like trouble in paradise. They just seem off…”

“Well, they sort of fought that day, too, but they usually get over things pretty quickly.” He told me about the rest of his visit to Brian’s.

“Hmm…”

AJ groaned. “You women just love to do that, don’t you?”

“What? Figure things out that you men are too blind to see?” I shot back, smiling, grabbing a soda can and starting to head back into the living room.

“Yeah, yeah, wise-guy…”

“Wise-girl,” I corrected him.

“My point exactly,” he muttered, leaning his forehead against mine. “I don’t know how you manage to be annoying and endearing at the same time.”

“Wow. Thanks,” I said sarcastically. “I-”

He cut me off with a slow and sweet kiss, wrapping his arms around me.

“Excuse me,” Brian, with all the space in the world available to him, reached his arm in between us to grab a soda off of the counter. “Thanks!” he grinned.

AJ smacked him on the head, and Brian ran towards the living room. AJ chased him, and by the time I followed them into the room, Brian was using Nick as a shield. AJ’s weapon of choice was a couch cushion.

“Hey! What did I do?” Nick put his hands up around his head, defensively.

It was the first time I’d seen Carmen really smile all night.

The final teams in the tournament were Diana and Howie versus August and Brian.

I sat next to AJ on his couch. “Sorry I cost us the game.”

He shrugged, wrapping an arm around me. “No big deal. Brian knows I’m better than him anyway.”

“In your dreams,” Brian bowled another strike.

He won the game for his team. He and August hugged, though it seemed a little tense.

“Oh,” AJ said suddenly. “I think I’ve got the vocal track finished.”

Brian turned around, immediately interested. “On Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon?” He glanced at August. “It’s a mouthful, but it’s a good song.” Then he laughed. “Howie keeps screwing up the title.”

“Well, it’s long,” Howie defended himself.

“I think it’s about done, actually,” AJ said to Nick, the only one of the Backstreet Boys still giving him his undivided attention.

“Can we hear it?” Nick asked.

“Sure,” AJ said, hopping up. “You guys want to come?”

I started to stand up. I’d gotten a tour earlier and seen his studio. I wanted to hear what their music sounded like these days.

“No, you guys go ahead,” August said.

Dianna nodded. “Go have a Backstreet Boy moment.”

I was torn. I wanted to hear the song, especially since they’d apparently written it themselves, but it seemed the Backstreet Girls were staying down here. One for all and all for one.

“So how’s life, everyone?” Dianna had a smile on her face, in a good mood, as usual.

Carmen stayed quiet and August was looking towards the staircase the guys had just climbed up. I wondered if it was too late to join them in the studio.

“Oh, that good, huh?” Dianna added, sarcastically. “What’s wrong with you guys?”

“Nothing,” I shrugged, truthfully.

“So,” Carmen said. “I heard about your date…”

As promised, I’d called August and told her how it had gone. The first date, that is. The second had been fun, but nothing special. I’d eaten way too much popcorn and watched a movie.

Well, we’d seen parts of the movie.

I assumed August had filled Carmen in.

“I haven’t heard!” Dianna said. “Give me the details.”

Carmen beat me to it. “One of his other dates showed up and started talking to AJ.”

“What?” Dianna sat up on the couch and switched her gaze back and forth between us. “Are you serious?”

“But,” August interrupted, “he hadn’t called her since Michelle finally said yes.”

“Aww!” Dianna said.

“I would’ve punched her…” Carmen said, mostly to herself. “I guess its progress, though.”

August smacked her on the arm. “Carmen!”

“I’m just joking,” Carmen said. But it was obvious she really hadn’t been.

“Yeah, I know,” I rolled my eyes. “He’ll be onto the next girl in a week or two, right?” I said this as jokingly as possible and pulled it off.

“No, you’re better than the other girls he’s dated. Give it three weeks,” Carmen laughed.

I managed to laugh with her. August was still casting aggravated glances in Carmen’s direction.

“So,” I said, “I’m not going to get kicked out of the club, am I?”

“What do you mean? What club?” Dianna asked.

“When I’m not… spending time with a Backstreet Boy anymore. Do I lose my Backstreet Girl title?”

“Um, hello?” Carmen said. “Who says you need a Backstreet Boy?”

Diana smiled. I’d asked this with the same nonchalance I’d used for my last question, but I’d genuinely wanted to know the answer. I’d been worrying about it a lot as I’d gotten to know them. Dianna and Carmen were joking about making our own CD, but August was glancing at me, head tilted to the side, pensively.

“You can get rid of us that easily,” she said sincerely.

I smiled, but didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to admit how much hearing that meant to me.

Luckily, Carmen heard her. “Yeah. We’re not like the Backstreet Boys with the whole Kevin thing. You try to quit our group, and I come after you.”

Her last words hit me with full impact. A memory I didn’t want to relive. I focused on my current surroundings. “Good to know,” I rolled my eyes. “I hadn’t realized I’d signed a lifelong contract here.”

“Yep. Girl power!” Carmen said.

“Carm, I’m pretty sure that slogan is taken,” Dianna laughed.

Carmen tried to think of something else. “Yeah, I got nothing.”

“How long does it take to listen to one song?” Dianna mused a moment later.

“Oh, you know them,” August said. “Pouring over every detail.”

Carmen patted her on the head. “Aw, the wife getting jealous of the music?”

August rolled her eyes. “I’m proud of him, and I’m glad he’s so dedicated to the group. But there are other things in this world besides the Backstreet Boys…” she laughed.

“Like what?” I joked.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re keeping the pride alive, does it?” Carmen laughed. “Jeez, it seems like you two have been married forever.”

“Another year coming up,” August smiled, proudly. “It’s gone by so fast. It seems like just yesterday, I was talking to him for the first time…”

I smiled. You could look at the two of them and tell that they were soul mates. How many people were ever lucky enough to find that?

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing,” Dianna said. “My Backstreet Boy better put a dag on ring on my finger soon! We’ve had plenty of anniversaries, just none as husband and wife.”

“I’m just gonna stay a bachelorette forever.”

“You’ll be going out on dates at the nursing home, won’t you, Carmen?” I said.

She flashed a smile. “Of course. I’ll be the most popular girl at the Bingo table.”

We all laughed and the guys came down the stairs.

“What’s so funny?” Howie asked.

“Nothing,” we all replied at the same time, and then continued to laugh.

Wish I could tell her, you’re one in a million

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” I said.

“What?”

“Grocery shopping,” I responded, after giving him an incredulous look for not knowing what I meant.

He shrugged. “You needed groceries.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to come.”

“I watched you walking home with a million bags of food once. It was rather pathetic.”

“Hey!” I said, throwing a bag of chips at him.

He put them into the cart as I checked chips off of my list. I had to admit, it was nice being able to get everything I needed instead of everything I could carry.

“A car is coming soon.” I mostly just needed to keep telling myself that. “But you still don’t have to come. I could borrow the Porsche!”

AJ laughed. Then laughed again, louder. “I don’t like you that much. And just barely enough to run these errands with you,” he teased.

“Eh, worth a shot.”

“So are you done trying to get rid of me for the day?”

“I just figured you’d be bored out of your mind. You probably have… people who do this kind of thing for you.”

“People?” he quoted me with a laugh. “Nope, my last slave quit last week. I haven’t had the time to hire anymore yet.”

Yeah, I guess that had sounded kind of stupid. It was just so weird to see him doing something as normal as push a grocery cart.

And… not at the same time. This felt oddly intimate, though. More so than any of the dates we’d gone on. People dated at the time. This was more like something couples did. Or spouses, for that matter.

Something August and Brian probably did together. And they were soul mates if I’d ever them.

“Oh,” AJ said, suddenly remembering something. “Um… Kevin’s coming to town.”

“Really? When?”

“He doesn’t know exactly. He’s still working it out, but soon.”

“Are… is everyone going to see him while he’s here?”

AJ shrugged. “I’ve been wondering that, too. Howie will, of course. And… well Brian and Nick will, too, even if it takes them awhile to decide. It’s just going to be tense.”

“Maybe not. Maybe it’ll end up being just like old times.”

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since he quit. Doesn’t seem like it.” He shook his head.

I looked at what was left on my list: milk, eggs, and bread. We headed to the dairy section of the store

“You’ll have to meet Kevin, too,” AJ decided.

“Me? He has no idea who I am…”

“Sure, he does. I’ve told him about you.”

I guess I shouldn’t have been that surprised. He’d told the rest of the guys and their significant others about me, too. But I was still curious. “What’d you say?”

“That you set cars on fire and suck at bowling. You know, the usual,” he smirked.

I rolled my eyes. I did want to meet Kevin though. AJ had such respect for him.

“And don’t pretend you don’t tell everyone about me…”

“Well, not really.”

“Wow. You never waste any time crushing my ego, do you?” He laughed, but I wondered if there was a hidden layer of hurt.

“No, I just…” How pathetic was I going to sound? I wondered if I should just make something up on the spot. No, I decided. It felt nice to have someone to confide in for a change. “I don’t really have anyone to tell. Not people who don’t already know you, anyways.”

He glanced at me, trying to read my expression and apparently realizing that we were breaching a slightly touchy subject matter. “You don’t keep up with any of your old friends?”

“Nope. I pretty much lost touch with everyone when I moved here.”

“Maine is far away,” he reasoned. “But what about your family?”

I just shook my head, unable to find a voice.

His eyes went wide. “I don’t know what I’d do without my mom. We’ve always been really close.”

I could feel my eyes watering, and I immediately scolded myself. I looked down to choose an egg carton and hoped he wouldn’t notice. “I think that’s it,” I said, changing the subject as casually as I could.

We headed to the front of the store and got in line.

“Only two autographs. You’re losing your touch,” I joked, putting a smile on my face that wasn’t totally fake. We’d been spotted by two girls on our way inside the store tonight.

“Not as young as I used to be,” AJ wiped away a fake tear.

I felt surprisingly better. It wasn’t easy to talk about my old life, but I’d mentioned it and, after the initial wave of pain, I’d felt better. What was done was done; I didn’t spend more time than I had to dwelling on it. Mostly, I felt like a bit of weight had been lifted. That I could tell him things I couldn’t tell anyone else.

Walking out to the car, I noticed how late it was getting. I looked up but there were too many lights to see anything in the sky.

“That’s one thing I miss about Maine,” I sighed, suddenly wondering why I’d shut out the good with the bad. Maybe I’d thought they had to go hand in hand.

“What’s that?”

“Being able to look up and see the stars. I mean, you can see a handful here, but there are so many more up there. I can’t remember the last time I saw a shooting star. We used to go to this field a few miles out of town, with a huge blanket. We’d just lay there for hours. It sounds really boring, but..”

“No, that sounds cool,” AJ said.

“You could see the northern lights sometimes, too… anyway,” I grabbed another bag, realizing that I was rambling.

He was just staring at me, smiling. I couldn’t tell what was on his mind.

“What?”

After another second, he simply shrugged and helped me with the rest of the groceries.

“Here, I’ll take that for you,” AJ said, grabbing the cart and heading towards the drop-off spot in the parking lot.

I watched him walk away with the cart, surprised by the nice gesture. I smiled to myself.

I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket and recognized the ringtone to mean I was receiving a text. I was still staring after AJ when I flipped the phone open to view the screen.

Think a number change would stop me from finding you?

I felt like someone had punched me in the chest. This was worse than last time; my lungs couldn’t get any air. My head was swirling as I tried to breath. I dropped the phone, not registering the sound as it hit the pavement.

A second later, I knew I was going to hit the ground, too. I couldn’t make my brain tell my legs to stop wobbling. My knees collapsed, and the pavement started rushing towards me.

I faintly became aware of the arms suddenly around my waist, holding me up. I leaned against him.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out, I instructed myself.

AJ looked panic-stricken. “Michelle? Michelle, are you okay?”

A few more seconds passed. I nodded.

“Are you sure? Here,” he guided me to the car and eased me into the passenger’s seat. “What happened?”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Do you want me to call the doctor?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” I assured him. “Just a little light-headed. I guess I... haven’t eaten anything today.”

He quickly rummaged through the backseat, looking for something I could munch on.

This was too much to confide in him. Babysteps were all well and good, but… no, I didn’t know how to tell him about this. What would I say?

I shivered. As much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, another text like this couldn’t be a coincidence.

Peter was back.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“Sounds kind of like she had a panic attack or something,” August said, looking extremely worried.

I shrugged. I really had no idea. She’d kept assuring me that she was fine. That she just hadn’t eaten. I knew something was off, though. Her smile seemed… broken.

I’d felt so helpless. I didn’t know what was wrong, so I couldn’t fix it. The whole thing really sucked.

“I dropped her off, and I carried some of the bags to her door. Didn’t even let me inside, though, and then she told me goodbye. She ignored my questions.”

“I’m sure she’ll tell you when she’s ready,” August said.

I chugged some soda and stared off into their backyard. The sky was dark, and although there were a few stars visible, Michelle had me wondering how many I couldn’t see.

“I just wish I could get the image out of my mind…” I was still a little shaken. To turn around and see the look of terror on her face. Then, she started to collapse. Luckily I’d been there to catch her right in time.

“Why doesn’t she trust me?” I asked, talking mostly to myself. It was frustrating though. “I don’t keep anything from her.”

“Well, you’ve kind of had to lead an open life as a Backstreet Boy,” August reasoned. “You can only keep things from the fans and the media for so long, so you’re used to it. She’s independent and… kind of a loner.”

Yeah, that was true. I was pretty candid about everything. So were the other guys in a lot of ways. I guess I’d taken the trait for granted.

“And…” August said.

“And what?”

She sighed. “She thinks you’re going to leave her. I think that’s where the trust issue comes from.”

“Leave her where?”

August laughed. “That you’ll be gone sooner than later. Your reputation precedes you.”

“My rep…” I started and then laughed. “Carmen likes to rant about me as much as Carter, I take it?”

She nodded. “You and Nick are the Backstreet bachelors. I guess she groups you together.”

“Hmm,” I said. “Well, we’re just dating. Casually. I made that clear on our first date, when Cheryl showed up, actually.”

“Just dating?” August raised an eyebrow. “This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

I cracked a smile. “Alright, hit me.”

She ignored my comment. “It’s so obvious, but both of you two are clueless.”

“Uh-huh…?” I still had no idea what she was talking about.

“Michelle doesn’t get how head over heels you are for her. She thinks she’s like almost every other girl you’ve dated. Every girl recently, which to her means that the expiration date on your relationship is coming soon. And it’s not hard to wonder why she doesn’t see it, because you don’t see it either,” August said matter-of-factly, as if I should’ve known exactly what she was going to say.

“Head over heels?” I laughed. “This isn’t a movie…”

“Where do you think inspiration from the movies comes from? It happens,” she said. Then, she pointed her finger at me, “And don’t start about the hopeless romantic stuff. I’m right, and you know it, even if you aren’t willing to admit it.”

I shrugged. “I like her. A lot.”

August leaned forward and put her hand on mine, as if to tell me some shocking news. “You love her, AJ.”

“Say what?”

“Do you know how worked up you were when you got here?”

I hadn’t wanted to go home when I’d left her apartment complex. I needed someone to talk to. Brian was at the movies with Nick, but August had been home. I had been a bit of a wreck, come to think of it.

“So, I was worried…”

“It’s hard to explain, AJ, but I know it. You’re just different around her. I don’t know what it is. You two seem to bring out the best in each other.”

“The best in each other? We’re sarcastic half the time…”

“AJ, tell me something. When she invited you up to her apartment after the first date, why didn’t you go?”

“It was getting late,” I shrugged. “I just didn’t.”

“Uh-huh,” she responded, obviously not buying a word of what I was saying. “She’s different than anyone else you’ve ever dated. You figured it out awhile ago, so why are you so surprised now?”

I didn’t say anything.

“And have you called any of your other dates since you’ve been seeing her?”

“No, but what does that mean?”

“You haven’t had anyone else on your mind,” she said. “Is the thought of spending the rest of your life with one person so awful?”

My eyes went wide. “The rest of my life? Now you’re marrying us off. Jeez, that’s a little quick…”

“No!” she rolled her eyes. “I don’t hear any wedding bells or anything. But isn’t that the eventual goal? Finding that one person? All I’m saying is that if Michelle is the one, do us both a favor and realize it before it’s too late.”

“Listen, I think this has gotten a little too Lifetime for me…” I said.

“It’s kind of amazing any of your gender gets married,” she sighed and then laughed.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Brian came out the backdoor.

“Asking August for the millionth time why she’s with someone like you,” I joked.

“Because I’m so gosh darn pretty,” he grinned. “You jealous?” He came towards me and planted a huge kiss on my forehead.

“Ugh, gross, get off me man!” I shoved him away.

He cracked up laughing.

“Well, I need to put the clothes in the dryer… you boys play nice,” August teased, heading inside.

“Good! I was about to see how I could get rid of her…” Brian watched her walk inside and pulled something out of his pocket. “Check this out.”

It was a silver necklace, with a simple yet elegant heart on it.

“What do you think?”

“Oh, Rok, you shouldn’t have…”

He shook his head, laughing. “The stones on the heart are Peridot, her birthstone for… August!”

“The anniversary gift, I take it? Looks good.”

Brian agreed, looking pleased with himself. “So what’d you drop by for?”

I laughed. “A visit with Dr. Phil apparently.”

She screams on the pain, I hear every word

Why don’t you know how beautiful you are?

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

I hated the waiting. I kept glancing at my cell, as if it was going to come alive and attack me. I kept thinking that any second, I’d have another text.

What was I going to do? He hadn’t appeared. Was that a good sign? I was hoping he only had my number, but not my actual whereabouts, but I knew that was probably wishful thinking, too.

Peter was doing this on purpose. He knew the waiting would be just as bad as when he finally showed up.

I kept thinking back to my apartment door being unlocked. I shuddered again. I was so careful. Always so careful. How could I have doubted myself?

“You actually planning on working any today?” Jack asked.

I swung around, heart hammering.

“What is your problem?” he looked at me as if I was crazy.

Maybe that wasn’t too far from the truth. “Nothing,” I muttered, returning my attention to the coffee shop.

I jumped again a few minutes later when my cell started to vibrate.

“You don’t need to be on your phone while you’re on the clock,” Jack reminded me of the rules, crossing his arms and using his most obnoxious voice. He must’ve really sucked up to the boss to get his job. His people skills were severely lacking.

I ignored him, taking a deep breath and opening my phone. I sighed. It was just AJ.

I shut it again. I didn’t know what to say to him. I was pretty sure he didn’t really buy my story and was wondering what was going on. But I didn’t want him to know about Peter. What did it say about me, to have had someone like that in my life? To have misjudged his character so much? To have run away from my problems? I was sure AJ would think less of me.

Part of me wanted to let Peter find me. Just to get it over with. It seemed to be inevitable. He’d said he’d never let me go. I thought I could be free, but maybe I was delusional. Until recently, I hadn’t really been living anyway. I’d had no one in my life.

His timing was impeccable. Just when things were changing.

When my break came, I stood outside, needing some air. I couldn’t help but keep glancing around. I stared at my cell phone and finally dialed AJ’s number.

I’d memorized it. How sad was I? I was getting worried about how much he meant to me. It rang several times, and I was about to flip my phone shut when he answered.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.”

There was an awkward silence.

“You working?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Me, too. We’re still trying to figure out an album name.”

“Any ideas?”

“Backstreet’s Back… Again!” he laughed.

“Hey, that was my idea!” Brian’s voice was in the background, then his laughter.

I smiled, already feeling a little better than I had been a moment ago. “Very original. I like it. Problem solved!”

“So… how you doing?” he asked. I couldn’t hear Brian laughing or the other guys talking anymore, so I assumed he’d stepped out of the studio for a moment. It was a loaded question.

“Good. Counting down the hours until I get off of work, of course. But my day is halfway done. The new manager starts officially today. I finished training him, so I get to get out of here a little early.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

But I could hear the disappointment in his voice. That is not what he’d been asking about, and we both knew it.

“Well, my break’s almost over,” I said, after a few seconds of silence.

Another few seconds passed. “Yeah, I guess I should get back in there. We’re calling it quits early today, too. Howie had some errands he wanted to run. And… well I think we need an afternoon off from trying to figure out this album.”

“A break is always good. You guys have been working hard.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “And Kevin’s impending visit is… I don’t know. I guess when, as a group, we think of him, it reminds us of the fighting going on during the last album. Which, I’m not saying is fair, but… that’s how it is right now.”

“Maybe him coming to see you guys will give you the closure you need,” I offered.

“He quit a year ago and moved back to Kentucky. I think that closure was crystal clear.”

I shook my head, which was futile over the phone. “Whenever you mention him, you keep saying that his absence is… present. Like it’s hanging over you guys. I mean, I’ve seen some of the arguments just the mention of his name causes. You aren’t going to be able to move on successfully as a new group if you don’t let that go. Let him go.”

After I said that, I let the words hit me. Maybe I wasn’t thinking about AJ’s problem anymore.

“Huh.” I could tell he was thinking over what I’d said. “Well, we’ll see how it goes when he’s in town. Anyways, I guess I should let you go. You’re going to be late getting back to work.”

“We can’t have that,” I said sarcastically.

He laughed, and we’d said good-bye to each other. I headed back inside.

I was still thinking about him as my shift was about to end. He was still opening up to me. About the album and Kevin, and I… I didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t returning the favor.

I sighed. There didn’t seem to be a way for us to move forward unless I opened up to him about my past. I didn’t know how much of a future we could possibly have together. I’d been fair warned about the lifespan of a relationship with him.

But if, or when, it ended, it would be his choice. I didn’t want the failed relationship to be my fault. I didn’t want there to be a rift simply because I was hiding things from him. Peter was forcing himself into my present, where AJ was currently residing. AJ deserved to know what was going on. He could decide the rest from there.

As I left work, I took a deep breath and headed to the right. I’d never walked to the studio before, but I’d driven by it, in the good old car days, and knew where it was. It wasn’t a long walk. Hopefully, the guys hadn’t headed home already.

I surprisingly felt better having made this decision. I hadn’t regretted opening up to him at the grocery store. Maybe this would be a continuation of that. Maybe…

Well, it was stupid, but I remembered how save I felt in his arms. As impractical, and unrealistic as it was, I almost felt like he would be able to make everything okay.

And that wasn’t a small order.

As I approached the studio, I started to wonder if I’d thought this through. Not the telling him part, my mind was made up. But how was I going to find him in the building? I didn’t think security, and there was bound to be some, would let some girl walk in, claiming she knew the Backstreet Boys.

Even if I did get past the front desk, I didn’t know where they’d be inside. I had never been in the studio before.

I headed to the back parking lot, getting my cell phone out of my pocket. I was in the middle of dialing AJ’s number when I was about to round the corner. I heard his voice.

“Hey, sweetheart, how’ve you been?”

“Good.” I recognized that voice, too.

Cheryl.

“AJ, this is my friend, Melissa.”

“Hi, Melissa, nice to meet you.”

I kept walking, despite my better judgment. But I wanted to see this for myself.

“This is Nick,” AJ continued.

Nick was standing next to him and shook Melissa’s hand. It seemed like they were setting the two of them up. AJ and Nick’s backs were to me.

“You girls ready to go?” Nick asked. “We were thinking about a restaurant downtown.”

I’d been right. A double date. I just stood there, stupidly. I was so surprised, so taken off guard that it was taking the pain a moment to seep in. When I got my brain to start working again, I decided it was time to leave.

I turned as Cheryl looked up. Darn it, she recognized me, too. She’d been about to say something to AJ. He noticed her pause and followed her gaze.

“Oh.” His dark sunglasses couldn’t hide his surprised look. His eyes widened. “What are you doing here?”

“That’s a good question.” Nope, the pain still hadn’t set in. The anger was beating it to me.

He excused himself from the group, coming to stand in front of me. I folded my arms across my chest.

“I just didn’t realize you were coming by. We didn’t have plans.”

“No, we didn’t,” I agreed simply.

AJ stood there, obviously looking for what else to say. “We were just…”

“Going out on a date? I can see that. I’ll leave you to it.” I started to turn again, but he stepped in front of me.

“Why are you so mad? I mean…”

“We can see other people. We’re just dating casually. I know, AJ,” I said. “I can’t be mad.”

Well, I could be mad. Maybe he didn’t technically break any of the rules, but I could still be mad.

Welcome to the world of women, I thought. When you pissed one off, you were going to hear about it.

“So, you’re… not mad?” he asked, skeptically.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t mad. I was acknowledging the fact that I’m not… supposed to be.” Okay, that hadn’t come out right. In my head, it had been much cooler and in his face. In actuality, that was a rather pathetic comment.

“Uh…”

Yeah, that’s right AJ. You piss off a woman, you’re also just going to get confused. I didn’t have to make sense. I just had to vent my frustrations.

“Go have fun on your date.” We’d reached the fake sincerity part of the argument. “Sweetheart is waiting.” I smiled real big.

“And here comes the sarcasm…” he narrated. “Listen, just talk to me for a moment.”

“Funny, that’s what I came here to do,” I said, more to myself. “But I think I’m all talked out.” I turned to Nick, Cheryl, and Melissa and waved. “See you guys later!” I put the grin on my face again. With one last look at Cheryl (slut, I thought bitterly) and an angry glare at AJ, I stormed off.

I didn’t let the pain reach me until I was safely several blocks away.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“That’s a dumb suggestion,” Nick said.

“Well, I don’t see you coming up with anything better,” Howie retorted.

Wow. Even Howie was on edge today. Brian and I exchanged looks.

“I just think that the album title should make it clear that we don’t need Kevin anymore,” Nick continued.

“What?” I said, before Howie could respond. “That’s a little immature, don’t you think?”

Brian crossed his arms, thinking it over. “You know…”

“Oh, not you, too!” I groaned.

“No, just listen,” Brian said. “You aren’t taking it the right way…”

But I didn’t want to listen. I wasn’t the most rational person today. “Not taking it the right way? Carter wants to freaking name the album Kevin Quit- Woohoo.” I took on the voice of the media. “’The Backstreet Boys’ follow-up to Never Gone ironically celebrates the fact that Kevin is just that: gone.’”

“Does have a certain ring to it,” Nick laughed.

“Smart ass,” I muttered.

Thank goodness it was Friday. We certainly needed the weekend. Not for the first time, either. But I could only imagine how dinner was going to go tonight. From the studio today, we were going to meet Kevin at a restaurant downtown.

As if we weren’t already having difficulties naming the album, everyone was thinking about him today. Nick wanted the title to represent moving on, but we continued to prove that we hadn’t done so yet.

Brian was thinking about dinner, too. “Could we at least pretend tonight that we’re getting along?”

“Yeah,” Nick said quickly. He obviously wanted to show Kevin what he wanted to show the world with an album title: he didn’t need Kevin anymore.

“Whatever,” I shrugged. I actually thought Brian had brought up a good point, but I refused to be agreeable at this point.

“So where do we stand on a record title?” Howie asked, almost timidly.

“The same place we stood an hour ago,” I said. I leaned back in my head and closed my eyes for a second. “Nowhere.”

“Are you okay?” Brian asked, tilting his head and looking at me as if he were seeing me for the first time today.

“Peachy.”

We went through some more CD title possibilities. All were rejected by one or more of us. We were about to have another flair-up when Howie stood up.

“I’m going to get a drink. Anyone want anything?”

“I’ll come with you,” Nick said, seeming thrilled to have an excuse to stand up and get out of the room for a few minutes. They headed to the drink machine one floor up.

“So, seriously, AJ. What’s up?” Brian asked. He’d apparently realized that there was more to my bad mood than titles and Kevin’s visit.

“Nothing,” I shrugged.

Nick came back in. “Forgot my wallet,” he smiled sheepishly.

“Are you sure?” Brian continued our conversation.

“I’m fine,” I said tersely.

“Have you still not talked to Michelle?” Nick asked.

I glared at him.

“Oops,” he made a face. Holding up his wallet, he said, “Coming Howie!” he called, though he hadn’t heard anything. He hurried back out of the room.

“What happened with Michelle?”

“Nothing.”

Brian gave me a look. I could tell he wasn’t going to let this subject pass easily. “You guys have a fight?”

“Sort of.”

“You want me to just ask Nick?”

I groaned. Yeah, he’d probably find out one way or another. “She showed up here earlier this week.”

“And…?” Brian asked, not seeing the dilemma.

“And Nick and I were about to go out with Cheryl and her friend. I didn’t realize Michelle was coming by…”

“Ohh…” He groaned. “AJ.” His tone was reprimanding.

“What? We weren’t exclusive!” I felt like that phrase should be my next tattoo.

He rolled his eyes. “For someone who dates a lot of women, you don’t know much about them, do you?”

“Well thanks so much for you help,” I said, sarcastically.

“Call her.”

“And say what? I can date whoever I want.”

“Why were you out with Cheryl again, anyway? I thought you didn’t want to call her back. You chose Michelle over her…”

“That’s the point. I don’t have to choose,” I said, exasperated. “I can date whoever I want to. As many people as I like. If Michelle is going to get mad, then that’s her problem.”

Brian tried to read my face. “I just don’t get…”

“What? There is no way,” Howie came in laughing about whatever he and Nick were talking about.

“You calling me a liar?”

Howie laughed again. “So we going to keep this discussion going or move on…”

“Move on,” I said quickly, not just to Howie’s CD question. I glanced at Brian, pointedly. “It’s almost time to get out of here anyway. We aren’t going to come up with a name today.”

Brian sighed. “Everyone keep brainstorming.” He glanced at his watch. “Maybe we should just call it a day. Get there a little early.”

We all agreed. For the first time today, it seemed. I grabbed my keys and pushed the button to unlock the doors of my Porsche.

“We all riding separately?” Howie asked, retrieving his own keys.

“Yeah. I don’t want to have to come back here afterwards to drop anybody off,” I said. And Kevin was staying at my house tonight. I’d invited him when he’d started mentioning hotels. I’d almost forgotten he didn’t have a home in Orlando anymore. I hadn’t thought about where he’d be staying when he came to town.

He’d spend some time with me, and then probably with Howie. Brian would open his home to him if need be. They were family, after all. And August was looking forward to seeing him. But since it wasn’t need-be, I didn’t see Kevin spending much time at Brian’s home.

And Nick’s place was out of the question.

“Don’t let Kevin find out,” Nick said.

“Find out what?”

“That we all took separate cars. Wasting all that gasoline, causing global warming…”

He was knocking Kevin’s environmental activism. As well as Kevin’s SUV that he had a hook-up in his garage for so that it didn’t need to run on gasoline.

“You know,” Brian pointed out, “you’re supposed to be the other environmentally friendly Backstreet Boy.”

“Not if it puts me on a team with him.”

I sighed, but didn’t say anything.

“So,” Brian laughed. “How about that dinner where we pretend everything’s fine?”

We arrived early, but went ahead and got a table. Although we requested the one in the back corner of the restaurant, we were spotted by different groups of some fans and signed autographs until Kevin got there. Their faces lit up when he arrived, and they came back over wanting more pictures. I guess they’d thought the five of us would never be together again or something.

Not for the first time, I wondered what their reaction would be to this CD. To a quartet group instead of a quintet.

“Hey guys,” Kevin said.

I finally had a chance to give him a hug. “It’s good to see you, man.”

He sat down between me and Howie. There was an awkward silence as we scanned our menus and waited to place our orders.

Kevin looked about the same, although his hair was a little shorter. The time suddenly didn’t seem as long as it had. I almost wanted to ask his opinion on our current CD issue. I had to remind myself that he wasn’t a Backstreet Boy anymore.

“So, how are things in Kentucky?” Brian asked.

“Good. It’s been nice to relax. You know, stay at home and not have to worry about scheduling.”

I glanced at Nick and saw that he’d already lost interest in the conversation. He was staring at a cute waitress, taking drink orders several tables down. I returned my attention to Kevin.

After several seconds of appreciation. Like I said, she was cute.

Then an image of Michelle popped into my head. Now it was really time to focus on what Kevin was saying.

“… seeing this girl for a few weeks now. She’s really nice. Her family actually owns a horse farm, so we get to go riding occasionally.”

“Sounds like you’re having a nice vacation,” Howie nodded.

“So. How’s the album going?”

“Great,” Nick’s attention suddenly returned to our table. “Best album ever.”

Kevin looked at him. He was still good at that brooding stare. Although it was apparent he had more on his mind, he simply said, “That’s good to hear.”

“We’re almost done, actually,” Brian said, proudly. “We collaborated on several of the songs ourselves.”

Kevin nodded. “Can’t wait to hear them.”

I couldn’t quite tell if he was sincere or not. The tension became a little more evident with each album comment. Luckily, the restaurant wasn’t too crowded. Service was quick, and we were soon eating our food.

“This is really good,” Kevin said. “I miss this place.” He took another bite.

I agreed. “I don’t think I’ve been here since you left.”

“Howie, how’s Dianna? She’ll be around this weekend, right?”

Howie nodded. “Yeah, you’ll see her tomorrow or Sunday. She’s doing well. Working too hard, as usual.”

“Because you’re not a workaholic, too?” Kevin joked. He turned to Brian. “And August? I talked to her… a few weeks ago. But it wasn’t a long conversation.”

“She’s good. A little frustrated today. I think she wanted to come to dinner tonight. And she’s just a little cranky. She caught the flu or something earlier this week. Wasn’t feeling too well… but she’s over it now. You’ll have to come by for dinner or something. I know she wants to catch up with you.”

“Sounds good,” Kevin nodded.

The conversation lulled again after that.

“So, AJ, we really need to finish you’re song next week,” Nick said.

I groaned inwardly. This topic hadn’t been successful earlier in the night, what made him think it would go differently now? But he seemed intent on bringing the album up as much as possible.

We had the chorus we’d worked on. Howie had helped us one day when we were working on the verses. They were incomplete but getting there. I was getting skeptical about whether or not it’d be done in time to make it on the album, though.

“Oh, you’re working on a song right now?” Kevin turned to me. “How’s it going?”

“Good. It’s getting there. Still in the rough stages, though. We’ve kind of been working on it off and on.”

“What’s the hold-up?” Kevin asked.

Howie held up a hand to his mouth in mock whisper. “The girl it’s written about.”

“It’s not about anyone in particular…” I said. Well, that wasn’t true. But Nick had been the one who’d brought her into it, with the “she never even looks my way” line. Not me.

“Ohh,” Kevin shoved my shoulder. “There’s a girl in the picture right now?”

“When is there not?” I smirked, trying to move the conversation along as quickly as possible. It seemed like everyone was talking in circles today. We were the Backstreet Boys, for goodness sakes. Did we not have anything more interesting in our lives to talk about?

“But just the one?”

“No. And… it’s not important.”

He started to joke again. “Sounds like she’s something, if she’s got you…”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, more loudly this time.

Kevin raised his eyebrows, realizing this was a touchy subject. He backed off immediately, and I lightened my expression to let him know I wasn’t mad at him. He hadn’t meant anything by it.

“In a lot of ways, making this album has gone more smoothly than any other,” Nick said, pointedly, steering the discussion back to where he wanted it.

Aside from the initial start-up and the current title issue, I realized that that was actually somewhat true. Huh. But I still didn’t like the way he was speaking to Kevin.

Kevin sighed. “Nick, if you have something to say to me, then just say it.”

Nick shrugged. “Just wanted to make sure you knew we were doing fine and dandy without you.”

“Nick,” Howie said, ready to mediate.

I was shocked he’d been so blunt. Brian stayed quiet. But, as usual, his silence spoke volumes. He was thinking of his own issues towards Kevin.

“Well, Howie, it’s true,” Nick said. He turned back to Kevin. “Maybe you should’ve left the group even sooner.”

~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

I don’t know how I’d expected the dinner to go. But certainly not like this. Nick was even angrier than I’d realized.

“Is that so?” Kevin returned Nick’s question with a forced calm.

I expected Nick to back down. A younger Nick would have. But he stood his ground. “Yeah, it is.”

“What do you want me to say, Nick?” Kevin sighed.

Nick’s eyes widened. He’d obviously expected Kevin to fight back. “I guess there’s nothing to say then. Just wanted to make it clear how we were doing. I’m sure you thought we’d fall apart without you…”

“When have I said that?” Kevin asked, slightly louder now.

“You didn’t have to say it.”

“Nick…” Howie said, trying to intervene.

“No!” Nick stood up. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to this crap.”

“What crap?” Kevin demanded.

“You pretending you care about our CD. You obviously don’t care, or you’d still be around.”

“I…” Kevin started.

“And Brian agrees with me!” Nick pointed at me.

Oh, boy. Guess it was only a matter of time before I got dragged into this. AJ and Howie simply sat there, stunned. Some nearby tables were starting to notice the scene.

Kevin turned to me. Unlike with Nick’s comments, he seemed surprised. “You do?”

“Well…” I began.

“You think I’m lying?” Nick was still standing and yelling. AJ made motions for him to keep his voice down, but Nick ignored him.

“Not in so many words,” I told Kevin. “But… some of it, yeah. I mean, you just left. With no warning, you said you didn’t want to do another CD. Ever.” I kept my voice steady, but it was difficult. I didn’t realize how much I meant it until I started saying it, and I could feel the emotion building. “How did you think we were going to take that?”

“So Frick and Frack are going to team up on me, huh?” he looked aggravated.

“What did you expect from us?” Nick asked.

There was that ‘us’ again. I wished he’d stop putting words in my mouth.

“You know what?” Kevin asked, more angry now. “You’re pretending you’re all grown up. That you don’t need me around to make sure your butt is in line. Yet you’re in public throwing a temper tantrum! What are you going to do this time around without me there to keep you in line? Huh? You aren’t man enough to handle it.”

Nick looked taken aback. “Whatever.” He took out his wallet and threw some money on the table. “That should cover my food. I’m out of here.” He stormed towards the front door.

I sighed, torn between where I should be. I looked towards the door again. Kevin’s mention of Frick and Frack was still ringing in my ears. “I’d better try and talk to him,” I said, standing up.

Kevin looked at me. I could tell that, to him, I was choosing Nick over him. Even though I realized this, I didn’t change my mind. If he’d thought we could just forget everything just like that… well, he was kidding himself. Because, although Nick had been tactless in his attack, he had been right. Why was Kevin pretending to care about the new album and asking questions? If he truly cared, wouldn’t he still be making albums with us?

I headed outside. They didn’t say a word as I left. Nick was standing by his car. He kicked his tire a few times, taking out his aggression, and opened the car door.

“Nick, wait,” I jogged over to him. “You okay?”

“What do you think?” Nick asked. “Way to help me out in there,” he added, sarcastically.

“So now you’re going to turn on me, too? We both know you were out of line.”

“What? You think the same things…”

“No,” I contradicted. “Just because you’re mad, it doesn’t give you the right to go off on him.”

Nick started to yell back, but then sighed. “I know. I just lost it.”

I shrugged. “It happens.”

“Just because he quit the group, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care anymore,” I said, acknowledging my own question. And I knew that it was true. Even if I wasn’t ready to believe it yet.

He nodded. We exchanged a look of understanding. As pissed off as we- especially he- were, we were pissed off because we cared, too. Beneath the anger was simply the hurt he’d caused when he’d quit.

But we weren’t going to resolve it today. I said goodbye to Nick and headed home, thankful that this day was over.

When I got there, I headed inside. “August?” I called. I checked the kitchen and living room. I called again upstairs, but didn’t get a response. I was about to head up there, when I looked out the window. She was on the deck.

“Hey, baby,” I said, opening the back door.

She was leaning against the rail, looking out at the backyard. She didn’t answer me.

“I just had the worst day,” I said, coming to stand next to her. I leaned over to give her a kiss, but I noticed her face was wet. “What’s wrong?”

She was silent for a few seconds, and then turned to look at me. After realizing that I was sincere in wondering what was going on, she laughed. Bitterly. “If you can’t figure it out, then that’s not my problem.”

I sighed. “Listen, I just came from the worst dinner. So if you could just…”

“You just came from the worst dinner? You?” she cried. “It’s always about you. Want to know what I had for dinner? Nothing!”

“Well, why don’t you make…”

“Forgive me. I really thought that we’d be going somewhere tonight. Anywhere. Or we even could’ve stayed here. That would’ve been fine. I didn’t have high expectations, but I thought there’d be… something going on today. How stupid am I?”

What was she talking about? Then I thought back to her look when I’d told her that we had dinner plans with Kevin tonight. The look I’d misread.

I thought about the date. It was our anniversary.

“Oh my God…” I slapped myself on the forehead and got ready to do some heavy-duty apologizing.

August held up her hand. “I don’t want to hear it.” She shook her head as a new batch of tears started forming in her eyes.

“I can’t believe I forgot… it’s just that the album’s almost done, and Kevin was in…”

“I said that I don’t want to hear it! I listen to what is going on in your life every single day. And you haven’t taken two seconds to notice what’s happening in mine. I’m…” she opened her mouth, and then thought better of it. She turned to face the backyard again.

“August, you’re right. I can’t believe how selfish I’ve been… But I did get you something. It’s upstairs…”

She shrugged. “I don’t want it. Tonight was supposed to be special.”

“Well, we’ll have other anniversaries…”

She sighed. “Brian, you just don’t get it. And I’m tired of having to explain everything… I’m going to bed.” With one last look that made me feel horrible, she headed inside.

Okay, now I’d just had the worst day.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“Well that was… memorable,” I said to Kevin, back at my place. We sat down on the couch in the living room, and I turned on the radio for some background noise.

“I knew I was going to hear it, but… I hadn’t realized to what extent,” Kevin shook his head.

“So, you think you ever will come back?” I asked. I knew it wasn’t the best time to ask, since he’d just had a fight with two of the group members. But it was something I’d been wanting to ask.

Kevin sighed. After a few seconds, he said, “Honestly? No. I’m just not at that place in my life anymore. I just wish they’d get that it’s about me, not them.”

“So it has nothing to do with the fighting last tour? And trying to make that record?”

“A little. But not really. I think that was just a good illustration that it was time to leave. I don’t think I ever came back after the break. Not completely. And I thought about it a long time before I told you guys. My heart just wasn’t in it anymore. So I just tried to enjoy every show, and do the best for the fans.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you guys had my blessings to continue without me. I wasn’t trying to set you up for failure.”

I nodded. “Nick knows that. He’s just loud when he’s mad. You haven’t forgotten that, have you?” I joked.

Kevin laughed a little, too. “Yeah. Anyways… I don’t want to spend my whole visit fighting. Or talking about fighting.”

“Alright,” I agreed. Finally, we could discuss something else.

“So, AJ, seriously. What happened with this girl they were talking about? The one in the song?”

I sighed. No, we weren’t going to get a new topic of discussion after all. “It’s really no big deal.”

Kevin raised an eyebrow. “You think I was born yesterday?”

“Certainly not! You’re the oldest in the grou… well, you know what I mean.”

He laughed. “I think you mentioned someone on the phone. And August did, too, actually. I just didn’t realize it was serious.”

“It’s not!” I said, a little too quickly.

He made a “hmm” noise, giving me a thoughtful look. “Is that the problem?”

I grabbed the stereo remote and started playing with the radio stations, not wanting to look him in the eye. “Is what the problem?”

“Well, you’re not used to the complications of relationships. You get in and out pretty quickly.”

“Gee, thanks, Kev. You come all the way down from Kentucky to tell me that?”

“Well, that’s as specific as I can get without knowing what’s going on.”

I sighed. I ended up telling him the whole story. Not just about the recent fight, and the fact that I hadn’t spoken to her since, but meeting her. Working so hard to get that first date. I rambled on for a good while.

“So what happened?” Kevin asked.

“Um, I just told you,” I said.

He gave me a look. “Once again: I know you better than that. Why’d you call Cheryl?”

Man, he was too observant. I shrugged.

“Do you want my advice or not?”

Ugh. Yes, I realized I did. “I was talking to August, the night Michelle was panicking over… something. She seemed to think we were serious and in love,” I hurried on to my next statement, “and that’s not where we are at all. I didn’t want to mislead Michelle…”

Kevin opened his mouth, paused, and closed it again. There was something he obviously didn’t want to say. Instead, he said, “So because August insinuated a bigger commitment than you’re ready for, you’re punishing Michelle?”

“No, that’s not it at all.”

“Did Michelle say anything about moving the relationship forward?”

“Well, no…”

“Then what are you afraid of?”

“Nothing! Why can’t I date other people?”

“You can. It’s the fact that you chose to see that other chick again when you did, and despite the fact that you weren’t at all into her. You didn’t just meet someone else and decide you wanted a date. You used a girl you couldn’t care less about to shield yourself from the girl you do care about.”

“Well, that’s just stupid.”

Kevin just smiled, looking very pleased with himself. “That’s just love.”

~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

“Hey,” I said, coming to the door. “Come on in.”

“Thanks,” Kevin followed me into the living room.

“Have a good time at AJ’s?” I asked.

He nodded. He’d be staying with Howie the rest of the trip.

I tried to hide my yawn. I’d slept on the couch last night. Well, “slept” wasn’t the right word. I didn’t know how much rest I’d actually gotten. I had dark circles under my eyes today, that was for sure.

“So…” he said, sitting down.

Niether of us knew what to say. I was still thinking about everything that had been said at dinner. But it was funny. Now that it was out, I wasn’t really angry anymore.

“AJ played me some of the new CD. It’s good,” Kevin said finally.

“Thanks.”

“And I’m not just saying that. I mean it.”

I could tell that he did. I sat down across from him.

“It was weird,” he admitted. “I kept thinking I should hear myself in the harmonies.” He laughed. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For quitting,” he said. “Well, not for quitting. It was time for me to leave the group. I just wasn’t in the same place anymore as you guys were… You have to have realized that, too, right? And it seems to have been a good thing. This album is back on track to where you guys need to be.”

I nodded. “It does feel like we’re getting our sound back.”

“It does. And I’m proud of you guys.”

“We could have done it with you, too, though,” I stressed. He seemed to be crediting his absence for any success in the music.

Kevin shook his head. “It wouldn’t have been the same… Brian, I wouldn’t trade my years as a Backstreet Boy for anything in the world. I mean, we had some crazy times.”

I smiled. Wasn’t that the truth?

“But,” he continued, “I just couldn’t get back into it after the break like you all could… Like you were back in the studio, singing the songs like old times. You hadn’t changed at all. I did. It just seemed like so long ago… I don’t know. I can’t explain it. But if my heart’s not in it, I’m hindering the group, not helping. And I didn’t want that. It wasn’t fair to you guys.”

I slowly realized what he was saying. That he’d quit the group for us. For him, too, of course. He seemed sincere about his excitement over other projects he was working on. He could stay at home and not have to deal with touring. There were definite benefits.

But I started looking at his leave from a different aspect. He wasn’t bailing on us. We’d influenced his decision. Kevin had thought it would be better for the rest of us if he wasn’t around anymore.

I nodded in understanding. “You know, we weren’t kidding when we said the door’s open.”

“Thanks,” Kevin smiled. “I don’t think I’ll ever use it, but it’s nice knowing that it’s there, you know?”

I did know what he meant. It was more about the gesture than ever taking us up on it. “Well, we’ll always have that decade, right?”

“Right.”

“And,” I added, “Nick didn’t mean what he said. Well, not the way he said it.”

Kevin laughed. “Don’t worry. He’s said a lot worse to me. And I to him, I’m sure.”

I laughed, too.

“So where’s August?”

“Oh,” I said. I’d reconciled with Kevin. She was the other person I needed to try to work things out with. “She’ll be down in a little bit. I’ve got to go run a few errands…”

He turned serious. “Did you guys get into a fight?”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“What about?”

“A lot of things. I screwed up big time, so it’s just going to take awhile for her to forgive me…”

He nodded. “Well, don’t worry. You guys can never stay mad at the other for long.”

I hoped not. But I didn’t want to think about that right now. We turned the discussion to lighter topics.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

I’d decided to go to the mall. The taxi had cost an arm and a leg, but I was sick of seeing the same places day in and day out. I’d been car shopping online, but I hadn’t been able to find anything that was affordable yet.

Well, not a car that was going to last a week, anyway. I wanted something reliable. One wouldn’t go up in flames would be preferable.

Work sucked. Looking over my shoulder every minute in fear sucked. Being alone again sucked.

I’d never heard from AJ. I’d been expecting him to call. That call wouldn’t have gotten us anywhere, but it would’ve given us more closure. I wondered how his double date with Cheryl went. Then I wondered why I cared.

I was so sick of thinking about him.

August and Dianna had each called once, but I’d ignored it. I figured they knew, and at the time, I hadn’t felt like talking to anyone.

I was thinking about moving again. I’d gone from Maine to Florida. Maybe I could give California a try? Well, on second thought, no. The earthquakes and obnoxious celebrities crying out for paparazzi attention didn’t much appeal to me.

I’d written a paper on Oregon once. It had seemed like a nice place to live. And who would ever think to look for me in Oregon? Besides, that Oregan Trail game had been a lot of fun back in the day. When my character wasn’t coming down with Typhoid Fever, anyway.

Of course, I didn’t know how Peter had found me here to know how to avoid him using the same method again. And I was tired of running.

My phone rang just as I thought of him, and I let out a yelp. Several people gave me strange looks as I hurried out of the clothing store. I looked at my phone and let out a sigh.

I picked up. “Hey, how are ya?”

“Good. I’ve been worried about you.”

I smiled. It was nice to be in somebody’s thoughts. Well, when that person wasn’t a crazy stalker. “Yeah, sorry, August. I was going to call you back… eventually.”

“Did you… have a good weekend?”

No. “Yeah, it was okay. How about you? Did you get to see Kevin?”

“Earlier today, actually. It was good to catch up with him. Hopefully, me and Bri… umm… we’ll get up to Kentucky to see him soon. I’d like to get out of Orlando for a little bit. On a vacation, that is. I know Brian will be touring soon, but I could really use a break, before…” she trailed off.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine. Just have a lot on my mind.”

I didn’t press the issue.

“So, about you and AJ…”

“Can we not talk about AJ?” I pleaded.

“I just feel responsible…”

I laughed. “You? August, believe me, you have nothing to do with it. He’s… well, he can date whoever he wants.”

“I know, but… shoot, it’s the other line. I’m waiting on an important call- not that you’re not important, of course. Do you mind if I call you back in a few minutes?”

“No problem. Talk to you soon.” I hung up the phone and headed down the main corridor of the mall.

I started to window shop. Why go into the stores when I shouldn’t be wasting money on anything? I hated seeing things I wanted but couldn’t have. I’d been truly desperate to get out of my apartment to have decided on coming to the mall.

My mind kept wandering back to Peter, wondering what I could do. AJ wouldn’t have been able to do anything anyway. I didn’t know why I was so disappointed in not being able to confide in him. My problems didn’t need to become his problems.

My phone rang again, and I absent-mindedly picked up. “Hey, August.”

“Hey, Michelle.”

I stopped walking. It had been a long time since I’d heard that voice, but I couldn’t forget it, no matter how hard I tried.

“Turn around,” it spoke again.

Heart racing, I did as commanded.

And there was Peter.

“Hello,” he said.

I couldn’t move. He was standing a few feet away from me.

“No words for your old boyfriend?” he gave me a mocking smile.

It took me another few seconds, but I found my voice again. “What do you want? What are you doing here?”

“I always told you I’d come after you if you left me.”

“Just leave me alone,” I said, trying to sound adamant, but my voice wavered.

“Aw, you don’t mean that,” he took another step towards me.

I took a step back. “Yes, I do.”

“Well, we don’t always get what we want, do we?” he had that smile on his face again. I shivered.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“What’s mine.”

“I don’t belong to you.”

Peter’s eyes darkened. I knew the signs for his temper. “Well, you know what that means then, don’t you?”

Before I could move, he’d come forward and grabbed my arm. He started walking, his firm grip. The more I struggled, the tighter his grip got. There was no avoiding his brute strength. He was a big guy, over six feet with broad shoulders and dark hair. The same features that had attracted me to him to begin with were the ones that frightened me now.

“Let go,” I said.

“Quiet,” he said. “Don’t even think about screaming.” He opened the front of his jacket. I could see the handle of a knife.

A new wave of panic hit me. He’d never carried weapons before. Usually, he was the weapon.

I looked around, wondering how I could feel so alone when surrounded by so many people. Wondering why no one noticed that something was wrong. Peter was heading towards a side exit of the mall. If I was going to make an escape, it needed to be soon.

Peter was holding the arm I was carrying my purse on. I tried to nonchalantly unzip it and dig out what I needed. Luckily, the mall was crowded and loud. He didn’t seem to notice.

I grabbed the pepper spray and then put my hand behind my back, getting ready to use it. Turning, I aimed it at him.

Peter saw me raise my hand and reacted quickly. Defensively, he raised both arms to shield his eyes and held his breathe, so the spray didn’t affect him. But, my own arm now free, I sprinted away, back towards the food court, ignoring the strange glances I was getting from strangers.

Now they notice me, I thought in dismay.

The food court was packed with people. I had to slow down to zig zag through the tables and chairs and people. For the first time, I glanced back over my shoulder.

Two hands grabbed me and I gasped, my breathing already coming out in short pants.

“Michelle? What’s wrong?”

AJ was there. He might as well have been wearing shining armor. I had never been so happy to see him.

But then I remembered Peter, and the knife he was concealing.

I wouldn’t let him near AJ.

“Nothing, I have to go,” I said, trying to move past him.

“Michelle,” AJ said again, worried. “What’s going on? Who are you running from?”

I turned around again. Peter was standing at the edge of the food court, his face dark. He glanced from AJ to me several times. But other people were still glancing at me, wondering why I’d been running. There was too much attention for him to intimidate me without anyone noticing.

With a final glance, he had disappeared in the crowd again.

“Who the hell was that?” AJ demanded.

“You saw him?” I asked.

“Yes, now…” he glanced at me and stopped, worry his only expression once again.

My face must’ve been white. Whatever he saw, the inquiry stopped.

“Come on. We’re leaving,” AJ said. It wasn’t a question, but I was too relieved to be getting out of here to complain about being told what to do. Actually, I was grateful I didn’t have to think about anything at the moment. I wanted him to take care of it, to take care of me. He put his arm around me, firmly and protectively, and guided me out of the mall, glancing around often.

Once in his car, we sped off. I didn’t say anything during the ride. I didn’t even ask where we were going. My mind had shut off from the emotional overload.

It wasn’t until AJ opened the door and was guiding me out that I noticed we were at his house. He led me inside, where I absent-mindedly sat down on his couch.

“Who was that? Why was he after you?” AJ knelt down in front of me, staring in my eyes.

“That was Peter,” I said lamely, my heartbeat finally back to normal. My voice finally steady again.

“Uh-huh…?” he urged.

I shook my head, remembering the way Peter had glared at him. This wasn’t AJ’s fight. He could get hurt. “Listen, it’s nothing you need to worry about. I’ll deal with it.”

“I’ll decide what’s my business to worry about,” AJ snapped.

I jumped, still a little edgy, at the sudden change in his voice.

He sighed. “I’m sorry. Michelle, you scared me half to death. Can you blame me for being a little temperamental?”

“I don’t even know why you care,” I shrugged, slowly remembering that I was mad at him.

“Of course I care,” AJ looked taken aback.

I realized I didn’t have the fight in me right now. I didn’t know if he meant it, but I wanted to believe it. I was left with my original objection. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, AJ. It’s better if you just let it go and stay away from me.”

“Well that’s not going to happen,” AJ said firmly. “So either you fill me in, or the next time I run into him, I’m forced to kick his ass without knowing the reason why.”

I let out a laugh. The moment wasn’t at all humorous, but I couldn’t help it. It released some of the pressure. “He was my boyfriend. Well, fiancé actually.”

AJ sat down on the couch next to me, listening intently.

“Long story short, he’s… not a good person, and I left him.”

AJ thought for a moment. “He’s the real reason you moved to Florida, isn’t he?”

I nodded and shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

His eyes widened, staring at my arm. I followed his gaze, and noticed the black and blue traces Peter had left on me. AJ started to look angry.

“Has he hurt you before?”

I didn’t see the point in lying. “Yes.”

“How long were you with him?”

I sighed. “Over two years.”

“What?” AJ’s voice raised in shock. “And how long was he pulling crap like this?” he motioned to my arm.

I couldn’t meet his eyes. “A year.”

“And you stayed that long?”

“It started out small… And he’d apology immediately afterwards. Then he’d make it seem like I deserved it in some way…” I trailed off. I didn’t know how to explain it. How could anyone who’d never been through it understand? It sounded stupid now. But at the time, I hadn’t been strong enough to leave. I’d loved him and, despite the bruises, for awhile, I thought he’d loved me, too.

AJ sighed, taking a deep breath and obviously trying to hold back all the things he wanted to say. He left the room for a moment. When he returned, he had an ice pack in his hand. He held it gently against my arm. He muttered a few choice words for Peter under his breath as he did so.

“What does he want now?”

“Me,” I shuddered.

“Well he’s not going to get you. He has to know you’re never coming back to him. We aren’t going to let that happen.”

I managed a smile at his sentiments. I knew Peter wouldn’t be easily stopped though. He’d been searching for me this long, hadn’t he? “I think he was waiting for me to be someplace no one would notice him. Like at work or coming in and out of my apartment building, people know me and would’ve asked who he was. Today, I was out in public, but surrounded by strangers.” I shuddered. AJ voiced the reason I’d just thought of.

“So he’s been watching and waiting for the right moment?”

I nodded.

“Well, he’s not going to get to you,” AJ said again, fervently. “He’ll get that through his head eventually.”

“It’s not that easy, AJ.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think he really thought I was ever going to go back to him.”

AJ waited for an answer, his eyebrows raised. I remembered the first time Peter had ever said it. We’d only been dating maybe six months. Everything seemed to be going fine. Sure, there were early signals that he wasn’t the person I thought; but I was too in love to notice. I can’t live without you, he’d said to me one day. We’d just had dinner at a nice restaurant. And you can’t live without me.

It had seemed like a promise at the time.

It had been awhile before I’d seen the statement for its real meaning: a threat.

“I think he wants to kill me.”

AJ had been relatively calm up until this point. As soon as the words left my mouth, though, he jumped off the couch. “What?” he yelled.

I told him my reasons for believing this to be true. I expected him to tell me I was overreacting, but he started pacing back and forth the living room.

“We need to call the police,” AJ exclaimed. His hand was already in his pocket grabbing his cell phone by the time I could stop him.

“I’ve already spoken with them, but… I don’t think they’re going to be much use.”

“You talked to the police? When?”

“The day I… saw you at the studio. Well, outside of it.”

AJ stopped pacing, thinking about the situation. Realization came over his face, but he still asked to make sure. “Why’d you visit me that day?”

I couldn’t look him in the eye. “I’d gotten some text messages that were freaking me out.”

“Oh…” he looked guilty, but returned to his point. “What did the police say?”

“They basically said they’d be looking into it,” I sighed. “They weren’t exactly supportive of my theory, though. Sure, they believe that, if he’s here, he’s looking for me and could hurt me, but they think I’m… being extreme.” I didn’t want to voice my thoughts on his purpose. Saying it once had been hard enough.

Was it so hard to make the leap, though? I’d been black and blue countless times, so was there a line he wouldn’t cross? I didn’t think so.

“Extreme? Are they kidding?” AJ was yelling again.

I glanced out the window. A pink hue was already settling into the horizon. Night would be falling too soon.

“So… if he’s been following you, then he knows where you live?”

I nodded. “He got into my apartment awhile back… I just didn’t realize it at the time. But the door was unlocked, and… I don’t know. I just had a bad feeling about it.”

AJ took another shaky breath, absorbing all of the information. “I don’t get why Peter waited.”

“Knowing him, he probably wanted to scare me first. Make a slow entrance. He’s all about theatrics.”

AJ was the one looking out the window this time. “You’re staying here tonight.”

“AJ, I-”

“No,” AJ said. “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. I’m not letting you spend the night in your apartment alone with that psychopath on the loose.”

I didn’t argue. The truth of the matter was, I was grateful for the invitation. I wouldn’t have been able to stay there by myself tonight. I would have spent every second wondering if Peter was about to appear.

The texts had been scary enough, but seeing him today had made the situation too real. I’d been holding it together considerably well today, but the room had gotten silent. AJ was mulling over everything. I had time to rethink today. I could see him standing in front of me, the knife in his pocket.

I didn’t realize my eyes had watered until AJ was sitting next to me again, looking at me worriedly. I snapped back into reality and tried to pull it together.

“It’s okay,” AJ said, as I looked down at the ground, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “With everything you’ve been through today, I’m surprised you’ve kept it together this long.”

“Crying always made him angrier,” I said tonelessly. I didn’t know why I had the need to tell him that, but he’d listened to everything else I’d said today. And unlike the police, he believed my fears about Peter. I appreciated it more than he knew.

AJ let out some more choice words for Peter as he put an arm around me. “Screw him.”

He didn’t say anything more to me, but the invitation was there. He leaned my head against his shoulder, and I let the tears run. AJ didn’t say anything when they soaked his shoulder. He didn’t move until my eyes were dry.

I was surprised at how much better I felt.

“Come on,” AJ took my hand and led me to the kitchen. “You hungry?”

“Not really,” I said, my voice still shaky. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window. My eyes were red. I looked horrible. I excused myself to the bathroom and washed my face. When I returned, AJ made me put the icepack back on my arm and was boiling water.

“You are in luck,” AJ said. “Not many people get to sample my fine cuisine.”

“That’s because you don’t cook,” I said, sitting at the island. “Besides, I said I wasn’t hungry.” I still sounded a bit hiccup-y, but my voice was getting steadier again. I wasn’t quite as jumpy. That was progress. I was used to having to pretend everything was okay. Peter was moody; he could be violent one minute, and back to “normal” again the next. I’d been expected to adapt my emotions just as quickly.

“And I chose to ignore you. It’s way past dinnertime,” AJ said. “And I do cook… occasionally. Like right now,” he motioned to the pot on the stove. “You get to try my specialty.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

He went to the pantry and pulled out a blue box. He started humming the jingle, then sang, “If momma wants to please me, she’s only got to cheese me. I got the blues!”

I laughed. “You are something else.”

AJ made the macaroni and cheese and pulled out two bowls, splitting the food into two.

“I can’t eat all that,” I protested.

“Not with that kind of attitude,” he teased, handing me the bowl with slightly more macaroni in it.

We ate in front of the TV, watching a rerun of Friends. It was odd to be doing something so normal after the day I’d had, but then I wondered what was considered “acceptable” after you’d almost been kidnapped at the mall.

On a commercial, I noticed AJ was giving me a look.

“What?”

He peered into my bowl.

“Yes, I finished it. Happy?” He did make good macaroni.

He laughed and took the dishes back to the kitchen. I leaned my head back on the couch cushion and rested my eyes for a second. It wasn’t that late, but I was mentally exhausted. And my eyes were tired from the sobfest I’d had.

“Come on,” AJ came back in.

He led me upstairs. After rummaging through the hall closet, he found a new toothbrush.

“There’s toothpaste and… anything you need should be in there,” he flipped on the bathroom light. “Hmm, I don’t have any girl clothes…”

“That’s a good thing, AJ,” I said, smiling.

By the time I’d brushed my teeth, he’d come back with some clothes. I changed in the bathroom, reemerging in a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt.

“Wow,” he gave me his lopsided grin.

I rolled my eye, knowing that I looked like a wreck. He led me to the guestroom.

“Is this alright? Do you need anything else?”

I shook my head. “This is more than enough.” The room was twice the size of mine and looked like it was decorated by a designer.

Well, he was a Backstreet Boy. It probably was the product of a designer.

“Thanks, AJ. You really didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s no problem,” AJ said. He gave me a quick hug. It was a little awkward.

We weren’t dating anymore, so where did that leave us? Friends? Or did he just feel guilty now that he knew what I was going to tell him the day I saw him with Cheryl?

I didn’t feel like trying to define anything tonight. I just wanted to jump in the huge bed and go to sleep.

“I’m down the hall if you need anything, okay?”

I nodded.

An hour later, I still hadn’t slept. Every sound I heard, my heart raced. I knew that AJ was only a few rooms away. That fact kept me from completely going insane, but despite that and despite the high-tech security system he’d shown me, I couldn’t calm down enough to sleep.

I got up to use the bathroom and was about to go back into my room when I heard a voice behind me.

“Hey. Still up?”

I jumped, even though I knew it was AJ. “Yeah. I’ll get to sleep eventually,” I shrugged, trying to make it seem like no big deal. “What about you?”

“Eh,” he said, “I’m a night person. I was on my laptop.”

“Oh.”

“You sure you’re okay sleeping?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said nonchalantly. “Good night.” I retreated back to my room, to lie down in vain again. A few minutes more of tossing and turning passed.

“Knock knock,” AJ said, walking in holding his laptop carefully.

I laughed. “What are you doing?”

He sat down on the other side of the bed. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m afraid of the dark.”

I laughed again. “You are something else.”

“Yeah, I think you’ve mentioned that already.”

“Well, it’s true.”

I glanced at his screen and saw youtube pulled up. He was watching music videos.

“This isn’t going to bother you, is it?”

“No.” I turned around to face the other way, but I smiled at him before I did so.

He probably hadn’t had time to watch the rest of that video by the time I’d finally fallen fast asleep.

I woke up on the edge of the bed. I would’ve fallen off by now, I was sure, if AJ hadn’t had his arm around me. I turned around enough to see that he was sleeping diagonally, on top of the covers.

I smiled automatically.

This was nice. Well, aside from being an inch away from a drop to the hardwood floors. I decided to lie there, simply enjoying the moment and waking up naturally, without an alarm clock buzzing in my ear. Thanks to work, I rarely had the opportunity to do this.

Work. I opened my eyes and searched for the time. A clock was sitting on the dresser. It took me a minute to remember what day of the week it was. Darn it, I was late for work. With all of the commotion yesterday and then sleeping over here, I hadn’t given it a single thought.

I probably had several angry messages left on my cell, which, come to think of it, I’d left in the living room.

I hated to wake AJ up, not knowing at what hour he’d finally put his laptop away and fallen asleep, but I couldn’t very well walk from here.

“AJ,” I said. No response. “AJ,” I repeated, lightly tapping his shoulder.

“Mmm,” he mumbled, not opening his eyes.

“I’m sorry, but I need a ride to work.”

It took several more attempts, but I finally managed to get him up.

I changed back into the clothes I’d been wearing yesterday and went downstairs to get my cell. He came down still in his PJs but holding car keys.

“Don’t you have to be at the studio?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t the only reason he had to get up early. Well, obviously early for him. It was several hours past the five o’clock I was used to seeing.

He shook his head and yawned, his hair sticking out in every direction. “I texted Brian last night and told him I probably wasn’t coming today.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t think you’d work today, either.”

I shrugged. “I can’t really afford to miss a day. Besides, I think Brian will be a bit more understanding than Jack will.” I didn’t mention the other reason: working would at least help me keep from thinking about Peter all day, and the fact that he was in town.

AJ didn’t look happy, but he motioned towards the door. He stayed quiet the first part of the trip, but finally broke the silence. “What time do you get off? I don’t want you walking to and from work.”

“You don’t want me walking?” I repeated.

“Michelle, this is no time for your sarcasm and independence crap, okay? This is serious.”

Wow. Someone was a little testy early in the morning. But he seemed as serious as he said, so I didn’t shook back with any remark. “I’ll call you when I know, all right? I’ll probably try to work later than my regular shift to make up that time.”

He nodded right as my phone started singing. I cringed.

“What?”

“It’s a text message,” I pulled it out of my pocket. It was a different number every time, but I knew who it was from before I even opened the text.

Think it wise to put someone between us? I’ll overtake any obstacle you throw my way. You’d do well to remember that.

Out of habit, I glanced around us,at the other cars and the stores we were passing. I didn’t see him. That didn’t necessarily mean anything, but I didn’t think he was actually watching me at this moment. We’d lost him after the mall, so I had some time until he found me again.

“Is it him?”

I paused, but nodded.

“What does it say?”

“Oh, just the usual.”

“Michelle,” he pressed.

I handed the phone over to him. This was the first time Peter had threatened AJ. It made me sick. I gave AJ a sideways glance as he read the message.

“Told you he was all about theatrics,” I said, trying to make a joke and failing miserably.

“Well if he thinks he can scare me off with a text message, he’s even more of a dumbass than I thought.”

We pulled up to the coffee shop.

“Call me about picking you up,” AJ reminded me.

I promised him that I would.

“And don’t… wait for me inside, okay?”

“Yes, mom,” I managed a smile. Without thinking, I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks.” Then I hurried out of the car and headed inside, ready to pretend that I was fine. That this was just another day.

And it wasn’t too hard to do. It was nice having someone who knew that I wasn’t fine. To know that someone was watching my back.

Thanks to AJ, I wasn’t as afraid anymore.

~*~ AJ’s point of view~*~

“Hey, look who decided to drag himself out of bed today,” Nick teased. “A night on the town last night or what?”

I’d gone as far as running home, making a cup of coffee, and getting changed. But I hadn’t showered or made an effort past that. It was almost lunchtime when I walked into the studio. Howie was just coming out of the recording booth, laying down a final track for one of the songs.

I ignored him and sat down.

“Whoah, what’s up with you?” Nick asked.

Brian was staring at me, too. “What’s wrong? You said you weren’t coming in today.”

“Yesterday… wasn’t a good day.”

“What’s wrong, man?” Howie asked, too. All attention was on me.

“It’s about Michelle.”

“It usually is,” Nick smirked.

“This isn’t funny,” I snapped.

“Calm down, AJ. He didn’t mean it like that,” Howie said, and then waited for me to give them more information.

“She’s got this ex after her.”

“So? I don’t think you need to be jealous of him,” Nick said, still not grasping the severity of the situation.

“He’s stalking her, Nick. I saw them at the mall yesterday, and she was literally running from him. I don’t know what would’ve happened if she hadn’t gotten away from him.”

“Did you call the police?” Brian said.

“I got her out of the mall as quickly as possible. And I mentioned that later. She said she’d talked to them at least once, because he’d been sending her texts, but they hadn’t taken it seriously.”

“Well, receiving texts and then having him show up are two different things,” Brian said. “You guys need to report this. If this guy is a real threat…”

“He is,” I said, adamantly. “She thinks he… wants to kill her.”

Brian stared wide-eyed. “Go to the police,” he repeated.

I nodded. “I’ll take her after work. Michelle just doesn’t think they can help.”

“It certainly won’t hurt. And she’s probably just scared. She seems like she usually just depends on herself,” Howie said, observantly.

Wasn’t that the truth? Yeah, we’d go by the police station today. I told them the rest of the story. They were all shocked.

“She doesn’t need to be staying alone at her apartment,” Howie said.

I shook my head in agreement. “She stayed at my place last night. If she insists on staying there tonight, I’m not leaving.”

I wished Kevin had stayed in town longer. He would’ve known what to do.

I was relieved when Michelle called a little later to give me a time to pick her up. She said everything was fine, and that several other people were working. Peter couldn’t get away with anything in such a public place.

The day dragged on. I didn’t contribute much to the group. I went outside to smoke a cigarette and Brian followed.

“It’s going to be fine, AJ. I know how you feel, though. I don’t know what I’d do if someone was after August…” he looked away and got quiet for a moment. When he recollected his thoughts, he said, “I’m sure they’ll catch him. It’s not like she doesn’t know who he is. The police will have sufficient information to go by.”

“I hope so. Anyway, let’s talk about something else,” I breathed in more of the cigarette, hoping it would relax me.

“Like lung cancer?” Brian joked.

I laughed. “I can always count on you, can’t I?”

“Of course,” he put a smile on his face.

We got back to album discussion. We were no closer to finding a name, which was troublesome. We had a list of top contenders, but there were none we were all pleased with.

“Oh, you know that song you’ve been working on?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“If you want to get it on the album, we need to get it done soon.”

I nodded. “I’ll finish it this week. I need a third verse.”

“It’ll come to you. Just takes awhile sometimes.”

We headed back inside.

“I can’t stay much longer. I need to go pick her up.”

“No problem,” Brian said. “I’d invite you guys over tonight, but…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

So he and August were still fighting about the anniversary? I’d been so wrapped up in my own world, I hadn’t had much time to notice. I felt bad that he was trying to be there for me, and I wasn’t returning the favor. “It’s going to be okay for you, too, you know.”

“Yeah,” Brian smiled again, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

We went back into the room so I could finish up.

“I am so, so, so sorry…”

“August, stop apologizing,” I said.

“But if I’d called right back when I said I would, maybe I could’ve helped…”

“No harm done,” I promised her. “And you couldn’t have helped over the phone.”

“I could’ve called the police!”

“They wouldn’t have gotten there in time. Anyway, there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

August had called me, I presumed, as soon as she’d heard. She said she’d been on the phone with Carmen forever and then her mother-in-law had called and by the time she finally got off the phone, she’d completely forgotten she’d promised to get right back to me.

“I’m glad you’re okay. Is there anything I can do?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. AJ’s here, and I think we’re about to order dinner, so I’ll talk to you later?”

“Sure.”

We said good-bye and I sat back down on the couch.

“Poor August. She’s got enough to deal with without worrying about me.”

“Oh, her and Brian?”

“Yeah, like…” I laughed. “Nevermind.” He was probably as clueless about it as Brian was. “Anyways, what are we getting?”

“Pizza?” he suggested.

I nodded. I wasn’t very particular. And I wasn’t that hungry. We’d gone to the police station today, on AJ’s insistence. I knew he was right. I simply had trust issues with them. In Maine, when I’d finally gone to them, they hadn’t been much help. Any help, actually. But that was no reason to blame the cops in Orlando.

Now that I’d actually seen him, they seemed like they were going to be more active in searching for him. Hopefully they’d find him before long. I was still thinking about all of this when AJ finished ordering.

“You know, you aren’t obligated to stay by my side. It’s not like you can always be where I am or anything. You’ve got a pretty hectic career. Not to mention a life in general…”

I was still confused as to why he was taking such a stand on this. Did he feel that guilty he’d been going out with the Cheryl the day I was going to tell him about all of this? It’s not like that would’ve changed anything. It was hindsight bias regardless.

“Actually, I’ve got some dinner I have to go to the day after tomorrow. I was going to talk to you about that. I wish I could get out of it, but it’s a good friend of mine, and he’s throwing a surprise party for his wife. I sort of promised. And I’d invite you, but it’s going to be insanely boring.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, no thanks. And that’s fine. I don’t expect you to just drop everything because I’ve got some crazy guy to deal with. Like I said, you can’t babysit me all the time.”

“No, so I was thinking you could go hang out with someone else tomorrow night. Maybe we could call August back?”

“So it’s like joint-custody now?” I joked.

“You know it’s not safe to be here by yourself,” AJ said. “The police said that, too.”

“I know, but this isn’t your responsibility.”

“Never said it was, but that doesn’t mean that I’m leaving either. You’re stuck with me until they throw that freak in jail.”

That didn’t seem like such a bad thing.

The food was shortly delivered, and I managed to clear off the kitchen table so that we didn’t have to eat on the couch.

“Sorry the place is such a mess…. well, sorry it’s more of a mess than usual.”

He laughed. “Doesn’t matter to me.”

I grabbed a slice of pizza and sat down across from him. “Right. You’re house is absolutely perfect.”

“Yeah, well, I have a housekeeper,” he grinned.

“Oh,” I said. “Wow, that must be nice Mr. Millionaire.”

“More like Mr. Millenniumaire,” he said, and then laughed at his own joke. “And you’re just jealous because you don’t have a car.”

Funny how AJ could insult me and still manage to sound charming. “Yeah? If you want me to shove this food in your face, keep on talking.”

“Talking,” he said and opened his mouth wide.

I laughed. Only AJ could make a meal so entertaining.

“It just so happens that, provided that nothing breaks or anything, I’ll be buying a car after my next paycheck. I found a cheap one. It’s used, an ugly shade a brown, and the AC doesn’t work. Not to mention it’s from the 80s, but it’ll be mine.”

“Well, congratulations!”

“Yeah, I know. It’s no Porsche.”

“You’re right about that!” he agreed quickly.

I shot him a look, and he laughed.

“As long as it runs, that’s all that matters. But do me a favor, would you?”

“What?”

“Try not to set this one on fire…”

I wadded up my napkin, and it bounced off his forehead. “Never going to let that go, are you? You act like I lit a match and threw it through the window!”

AJ put his hands out. “Hey, what you do with matches is your own business.”

I ignored him and, a little while later, put the pizza box in the fridge and the dishes in the dishwasher. I yawned.

“Tired?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Aren’t you? You got less sleep than I did.”

AJ shrugged. “I’m used to it, since I’m always up that late. And… I took a short nap at the studio today.”

“Jeez, I’ve never wanted to be a Backstreet Boy more. I can only imagine what would happen if I fell asleep at work.”

I went into my room and changed into my PJs. I almost felt like we were having some sort of slumber party. Which reminded me.

“Um,” I walked back into the living room, “I don’t have a guestroom… or spare room, for that matter. There’s my room or the couch. But the couch is kind of crappy.”

I realized I’d added that last part intentionally. I mean, it was true. There was a spring right in the middle of it. Whenever I fell asleep on the couch, I woke up with that part of my back sore.

But I was hoping he’d stay in my room. He’d been a sort of guard last night; I’d felt protected enough to fall asleep. It was nice having someone else around the apartment. I hadn’t realized how much I missed living with anyone.

“Uh,” he said, “wherever.” He shrugged, but he suddenly wasn’t his calm, cool, and collected self.

He’d brought some of his stuff with him, and he went into the bathroom to change. He’d also brought his laptop, though, so he probably wasn’t going to actually be going to sleep any time soon.

I looked at the clock. It was barely ten, so I couldn’t blame him. But having to get up for morning shifts at a coffee shop made you tired early.

I went into my room, taking off my bracelet and necklace and placing them on the counter, then tidying up a bit.

AJ came in. “Everything locked? The front doors, the windows…?”

I nodded.

“You don’t have a security system do you?”

“Well, only if you count you,” I laughed. Which I did, I realized.

“Ha ha,” he said flatly, head tilted to the side. A smile soon crossed his face, though. “Have no fear, AJ is fear,” he did the Superman pose.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were a superhero.”

“Actually,” he flashed that token smile again, “I am. I have my own action figure and everything.”

“What? No you do not!” I said, incredulously.

“Do so! They sold it at Burger King!”

“Wow. Well, I had no idea. You do a good job hiding your cool side with this Clark Kent get-up,” I motioned to his t-shirt and boxers.

He put a hand over his heart. “That would’ve hurt if I didn’t have superhuman strength. Luckily, nothing can hurt me!”

“Guess I’m Lois Lane then? Damsel in distress.”

AJ laughed. “You are anything but a damsel. But if you ever do need saving…”

“Again,” I interjected, rolling my eyes. The mall scene was still fresh on my mind.

“… again,” he conceded, “then I’ll have my cape and tights ready to go.”

I was about to sarcastically mention the underwear-over-tights fashion statement, but I stopped when his eyes met mine. I’d always been a sucker for those dang eyes. Without thinking about it, I cradled his face with my hands and pressed my mouth against his.

AJ let out a breath in surprise, but was soon kissing me back. It seemed like we hadn’t done this in forever. All of a sudden I didn’t care about Peter, or Cheryl for that matter… or all of the questions usually plaguing me about him. I was surer about him than I’d ever been before.

I moved closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. Whatever it was that had taken control of me wasn’t fully satisfied. I moved my hands to the bottom of his shirt and slowly lifted it off him. There was a tattoo on his stomach that I’d never seen before; I traced it with my fingers as he kissed me again. He seemed more eager now, and I started to wrap my arms around him again.

Then something switched. Suddenly, he was backing away, as if he’d just recognized what was going on.

“Uh,” he stuttered as I tried to catch my breath, “I wanted to see if you minded me raiding your fridge? I was looking for a bottle of water.”

“Um. No go ahead,” I stared at him in disbelief, feeling my face redden.

“Great. And did you have an extra pillow for the couch? There’s already a blanket out there…”

I tossed him a pillow, too embarrassed to say anything else.

“Thanks. Well, goodnight,” AJ said, practically running out of the room.

I turned off my light, and crawled into bed, hiding under the covers like I was a little kid. Well, I’d started to believe he must care a lot to be doing all of this for me, but I was obviously reading the signals wrong. Heck, what signals? AJ was just being nice. And I’d practically jumped him. What had gotten into me? He was already over whatever he’d felt for me, just like Carmen had said happened with every other girl he dated. Just like I’d predicted. Why hadn’t I listened to reason?

It suddenly dawned on me that, as great as it would be when they finally apprehended Peter and my troubles were gone, AJ wouldn’t have the incessant need to “protect” me anymore.

He would be gone, too.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

The alarm went off way too early. I could never, I decided, work anywhere that required me to be conscious that early. I’d probably be sneaking off at the studio second day in a row to take a nap. It wasn’t even my fault I’d been up so late. Usually, the internet was to blame. Last night, though, I hadn’t even turned on my laptop.

I’d driven Michelle to work, and managed to keep my eyes open long enough to stay on the road, and then went back to my place. I had a good hour until I needed to be leaving to meet the guys, but I couldn’t fall back asleep. I lay on the couch in vain and finally went to take a shower and get ready.

The morning passed by slowly, and I was more irritable than I would have liked to admit. I tried to come up with a third verse to my song, but that went as successfully as my attempt to nap this morning.

“How’s it coming?” Nick asked, sitting next to me. I was fumbling on the piano.

“About as good as it sounds,” I crossed out the lyric I’d just written. The page was becoming full of scratched out words. Not a single one sounded right for the song. I sang the rest, hoping when I got to that point it would come to me. It didn’t. I did tweak a few of the other lines, though.

I doubted that the song was going to be done so we could record it for this album. The still untitled album… I grabbed the piece of paper I’d been making notes on and threw it in the trash.

“Dude, deep breath!” Nick said. “You’ll never come up with the words if you try to keep forcing it.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” I sighed.

“You want to come to lunch with me and Howie?”

“Where you going?”

“We’ll probably just grab some burgers.”

I started to accept the offer, but then I realized who was missing. “Brian’s not going?”

Nick shook his head. “He’s in… well, about the same mood as you today.” He laughed.

I managed a smile, too. “I think I’ll stick around here, too. Get me some fries, would you?”

Nick agreed and went to find Howie. I was starving, but I reminded myself how much I’d been missing in Brian’s life. He was always there to hear about my problems, and I hadn’t forgotten my resolve to do a better job returning the favor.

After going outside to smoke a quick cigarette, I found him in the studio, listening to Inconsolable.

“Oh would you listen to that? Our first single,” I said wryly.

Brian laughed. “Just what you and Nick wanted, right? A mid-tempo?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, of course!” I sat down in a seat across from him, listening to my verse of the song. “How’s it going, Rok?”

“Good,” he said, but distant.

“You and August talking again?”

He nodded. “I mean, she’s talking to me as little as she can. But at least she’s not completely shutting me out anymore. I don’t know… It’s almost been a week.”

Only that long? Then I remembered their fight was the same day that we’d had the dinner with Kevin. And then Sunday I’d been at the mall… It had been a long weekend. And the week hadn’t picked up much since then.

“What are you going to do?”

Brian shrugged. “I really don’t know. I gave her the anniversary present. Late, but she wouldn’t accept it that night. I was hoping that would help some, but…” he trailed off.

“That sucks. I’m sorry, man.”

“Me, too. I’ve apologized a million times, but it’s not doing a lot of good. Although, like I said, she’s talking to me some now. Maybe I just need to give it another week and see what happens. I don’t know what to do.”

I hated hearing the pain in his voice. I’d considered them as the perfect couple. I could see now that trouble had been brewing for awhile, but I hadn’t noticed anything until this blow-out.

And it seemed neither had Brian.

Still, I could remember sitting at their dining room table, being so jealous of what they had. I hadn’t thought about that since last night, sitting at Michelle’s table, eating pizza. It wasn’t the wonderful home-cooked meal that was usually found at the Littrells, but the dinner had had a homely quality.

I snapped back into reality. Brian was staring off into space. Inconsolable had just finished playing, but he hadn’t noticed. “You know, I’m the one who always has the girl problems. You need to make nice with the wife, so we can go back to only having to deal with my crap.”

Brian smiled slightly. “I’ll try.”

Good. I hoped he could. Because, honestly, if Brian couldn’t make it work out? No one else in the world stood a chance at true love.

“Speaking of drama. Anything new with the stalker?”

I shook my head. “The police are still looking. It really sucks waiting.”

“Imagine how she feels.”

“Yeah,” I said, sighing.

“What?”

“Nothing. We always talk about me. We’re focusing on you today.”

“It just so happens that I’m all talked out.” He sounded a little tired.

I wondered if he’d gotten any more sleep than I had.

“So did Michelle stay with you again last night?”

“No, I crashed at her place.”

“And… what is it you’re not telling me?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on. I always find out eventually anyway. You can’t keep your mouth shut.”

“Dude, we girls now? Gossiping and all.”

“You know it, girlfriend,” he flipped his wrist.

“You do that a little too well, you know that?” I laughed.

“Thanks,” he drew out the “s.” Then he read my face. “Oh, you two…?”

I sighed. He did always figure it out. “No. I mean, she wanted… but… we didn’t.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Brian laughed. “You turned her down? You?”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not offended,” he smiled matter-of-factly. “We both know that you’re not known for… turning girls down. Especially not with someone you like so much. So what’s up?”

“It just didn’t feel right.” I shrugged.

“Oh. So, you don’t like her anymore?” Brian looked confused.

“She’s got someone after her, most likely trying to kill her. He almost hauled her off this weekend…” my voice cracked a little just thinking about it. I quickly cleared my throat.

He hadn’t been at the mall. He hadn’t seen how white she’d gone. How scared she was. It wasn’t an image I could get out of my mind.

Brian waited for me to continue. When I didn’t, he filled in the blanks for himself. “Oh. You think it’d be taking advantage of her?”

I was about to answer when Nick and Howie came in with their food. Nick handed me my fries and sat next to me. They were talking about some baseball game, so Brian and my conversation was cut short.

He’d, of course, hit it right on the money, though. She was vulnerable. She didn’t know what she was doing, what she was thinking. What kind of person would I have been? A week ago, Michelle wasn’t even speaking to me.

I heard someone in the doorway. Just the person I was thinking of.

“What are you doing here?”

Michelle was standing next to Carmen and Dianna. “I’m… with Carmen,” she simply stated the obvious. I couldn’t help but notice that she was avoiding my eyes as much as possible.

“I needed to pick something up from Mr. Littrell over here,” Carmen motioned towards him. “August give you my movie?”

“Yes, no, well…. I’ve got it, anyway,” he went to rummage through his stuff and pulled out a DVD rental. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

I must’ve still looked puzzled as to why they were here.

“It has to go back today,” Carmen said. “We’re going to go drop it off now.”

“Aw, you have to leave already?” Howie wrapped his arms around Dianna.

“Why? Got anything new to play for us?”

“Umm…” Howie thought it over. “We put the final touches on Unmistakable.”

“Really? That one’s my favorite!” she sent a pleading look to Carmen.

“Five minutes,” Carmen sighed.

I heard Michelle mumble something about going to get some water, and she was gone. It took Howie a few minutes to find the track. He put it on for Dianna and Carmen to hear. Halfway through the song, Michelle wasn’t back, so I went in search for her.

As I walked down the hallway, I could hear her talking to someone. Rounding the corner, I could see her with the receptionist in the front lobby, as well as someone else. He had shaggy hair and was holding a guitar.

“Do you have any idea what it costs to book the studio? And your band has been waiting here for an hour for you!” Michelle had her hands on her hips.

The guitarist seemed apathetic. He started making excuses, about his alarm not going off and there being traffic.

“Okay, that’s wonderful. Why don’t you tell that to your failed career? Because diva crap like that is only going to get you a job at McDonalds. There are a lot of songs that never get heard by anyone. Keep it up, and the only fan you’ll have will be your mom. You want me to tell your group that the CD they’ve been working so hard on is going to be for nothing because you’re too lazy to get to the studio and play your guitar?”

Now he looked taken aback, not to mention a little ashamed. “No,” he mumbled.

“Good. Now get your butt in there, and don’t let that happen again!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he rushed off.

“Wow,” the receptionist, Sophie, said. “That was amazing. Thank you so much!”

“Oh, no problem,” Michelle said. “I have to deal with that all the time. I’ve got these high schoolers who started showing up for work whenever they felt like it…”

“Are you the boss?”

Michelle laughed, a little bitterly. “No, I just do the boss’ job. But it has to get done.”

I walked towards the desk. “What was all that about?”

Michelle looked surprised to see me there and stayed quiet. Sophie answered.

“Their group signed with the record company recently. That’s their lead guitarist, and we’ve been having all sorts of problems with him. I’ve tried talking with him, but… I’ve never gotten a ‘ma’am,’” she looked at Michelle in admiration.

“You just can’t be nice to people like him. Show him that you’re in charge and that, with one push of the security button, you can have him thrown out of the building,” Michelle winked at her.

Sophie laughed, and the phone started ringing. “Oh, sorry, I need to get this… hello.”

Michelle gave me an awkward glance as we headed back to the others.

“You really did a great job. He was about to cry.”

She laughed a little. “No, he wasn’t. That would’ve been funny, though.”

When we got back, Carmen was ready to leave. At least I’d gotten Michelle to say a little bit; she was so unusually quiet. I tried to come up with a reason to stall them a little more, but failed.

“Alright, guys. Good luck recording. I’ll see you later,” Carmen said.

“Bye, sweetie,” Dianna gave Howie a quick kiss. “Loved the song!”

“Even Carter didn’t sound so bad on it,” Carmen teased.

“Ohhh,” Brian called. “You know, we were this close. You two were doing so well.”

We’d almost gotten through one encounter where there hadn’t been any fighting between the two of them. Almost.

“This coming from the world’s worst karaoke singer? Yeah, I’m hurt,” Nick rolled his eyes.

“Alright!” Dianna laughed, grabbing Carmen’s hand and pulling her out the door.

“Um, see you guys later!” Michelle said quickly, glancing at the other guys and following Dianna and Carmen out the door.

I sighed. Time for another cigarette.

~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

“Alright, guys. See you tomorrow,” I said. For once, I wasn’t the last one out of the studio.

“Hold up, “I’m coming, too,” AJ said, grabbing his keys and following me out the door.

“Any plans tonight?”

I shook my head. “I’m going to go by the flower shop on the way home.”

“That sounds like a plan. Good luck, Rok.”

I nodded, wondering how long August was going to stay mad at me. I got that I screwed up big time. I mean, it was our anniversary. But she had to be able to see how sorry I was. I couldn’t change it, so where did we go from here?

I smiled, wryly, thinking of the song.

“You going to see Michelle later?”

AJ nodded. “I guess she’s mad at me but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let her stay at her apartment by herself. Whether or not she wants to talk to me, I’m not letting Peter anywhere near her. I’ll sit outside her freaking door if I have to.”

I nodded, impressed at his commitment. He was a good guy, but that wasn’t something he was always known for. He was different now, though. And I didn’t think he’d realized it yet.

“I don’t think she’s mad at you,” I said.

“She wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Yeah. That’s called embarrassment. Usually she’s more vocal about it when she’s mad, right? I mean, it’s gotta be awkward talking to the guy you were just rejected by.”

“I wouldn’t put it that way… She’s probably relieved now that that didn’t happen.”

I gave him a pitying look. “Yeah, right, AJ. Anyways, I’ve got to get home. See you later.”

I picked up a dozen roses, and when I pulled in the driveway, it wasn’t even five yet. I’d been making an active effort to get home earlier this week. Hopefully she was noticing.

“August?” I walked inside. Her car was out front, but I didn’t see her anywhere. Kitchen, living room, dining room. I headed upstairs. I walked into the master bedroom and threw my keys on the bed.

I was about to call for her again, when I heard something in the bathroom. The light was on and the door was slightly cracked. After setting the bouquet on the dresser, I knocked as I opened the bathroom door. “Au…” I started to say, and froze when I saw her.

She was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, shaking with uncontrollable tears, her hands covering her face.

“What is it?” I rushed inside and sat next to her.

August jerked away from me. “It’s gone.”

“What is?”

“I lost it,” she sounded hysterical. She was standing in front of the sink now, but her face was still in her hands.

“Lost what?” I was racking by brain, trying to understand what she meant.

I stood up and walked in front of her, putting my hands on her shoulders, wishing she’d calm down enough to be able to tell me what was wrong. It was hurting me to see her like this. “Lost what?”

She was breathing in short gasps. She finally looked up, eyes red and pull of pain. “The baby.”

“Baby?” I stared at her. “What baby?” She still wasn’t making sense to me.

She didn’t- couldn’t- answer.

“You were pregnant?”

“Were,” she started crying harder again.

I tried to speak, but I didn’t know what to say. “I… uhh…”

August moved away from me and grabbed another tissue.

“I… I… I didn’t know,” I stammered.

She shook her head, sorrow and anger mixing in her expression. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” I was still trying to process what she’d just told me.

My wife had had a miscarriage.

“This,” she took another few shaky breaths. She wiped her face, but it was in vain. Fresh tears were now streaking down her face. “We’re… just… I can’t.”

She rushed out of the room. I stood there for a few seconds. Finally, I had the strength to move my legs, and I followed her downstairs. She’d already rushed out of the house though. When I opened the front door, her car was disappearing down the drive.

I didn’t know what to think or what to do. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I hadn’t even had any clue that she was pregnant. How was I supposed to feel now? Could someone miss something he never even knew he’d had?

I clutched my chest as I felt the pieces of my heart breaking and water fill my eyes.

Yes, he could.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

I was back at my apartment, having just said good-bye to Carmen and Dianna. Carmen had returned her movie and we’d gone out for a quick dinner. I’d gotten water and a side of fries, so I rummaged around the refrigerator for a slice of leftover pizza. Luckily, payday was Friday.

This was the first time I’d been alone here, or anywhere, in days. The sun was still out, though, so I wasn’t worried about it. Actually, I was relieved to have a quiet moment. I hadn’t heard from Peter since the day after the incident, either, which was also nice. Maybe he was just trying to lull me into a false sense of calm, but any day that I didn’t get a creepy text was a good day.

I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. The slice of pizza was soon gone. When my phone rang, I knew who it was. After taking a deep breath, I answered. “Hello?”

“Hey. You still with Carmen?”

I paused. “No, she dropped me off at the apartment a few minutes ago.”

“Wait, dropped you off? Are you there by yourself?”

“Um. No?”

“Who’s there?”

“Casper? I mean, sure, he’s a ghost. But he’s rather friendly.” It was a lame remark, but I was having an off day.

I could hear his deep breaths over the phone, as well as an engine starting. I guessed he was just now leaving the studio. And, of course, heading here.

I covered my face with my hand. He’d sure gone chivalrous with this whole ordeal. I knew he’d be staying here again, on this crappy couch, despite last night. Oh, this is going to be fun, I thought.

“By yourself? What if something happens?”

That I’d locked the door was the only response I could think of. He told me he’d see me soon and to call him if anything happened.

But that was pretty doubtful. Honestly, what trouble could I get into in ten minutes?

I’d called August this morning, after AJ’s suggestion last night. I was grateful he had that dinner to go to tomorrow. Maybe I could just stay at August’s house for the night? They had a guest room. Hopefully that wouldn’t be too much of an imposition.

Although who was I kidding worrying about that? AJ would probably he so glad when all of this was over. He could get back to his own life, dating all of those women, and… whatever else it was that he did. He’d been patient so far, but that would only last so long.

The doorbell rang soon after. I’d managed to straighten up so that my apartment was tolerably tidy. I looked through the peephole, because despite what AJ seemed to think, I was being careful. Even through the distorted image, I could tell that he was frustrated.

“Hey,” I opened the door. As his mouth opened, I beat him to it. “Yes, I looked before I opened the door. I knew it was you.”

I stepped aside so that he could come in.

“Where did Carmen go? I can’t believe she just left you,” he said, annoyed.

“Calm down,” I answered, surprised he was so worked up over this. “We had just made plans to get dinner. I didn’t hire her to babysit for the night. Besides, August was calling as she was leaving. They probably had something planned for tonight.”

He sighed loudly but didn’t say anything else. I didn’t know what else to say, either. I sat down on the couch, wishing I could be oblivious to the awkward silence. AJ followed suit.

“Are you staying here tonight?” I asked, though I knew the answer. I made sure to motion to the couch as I said it, so he’d know exactly what I meant by “here.” It was bad enough I’d been rejected once. I didn’t need him thinking that I was going to try again.

“Yeah,” he said. Suddenly, he seemed almost as embarrassed as me. “If that’s okay?”

“Sure.”

I glanced at the clock. It wasn’t even seven yet. This was going to be a long night.

Luckily, the commercials ended and the sitcom came back on. I focused my attention on the TV. After that show ended, I remembered that he’d come straight from the studio.

“Did you eat dinner? I’ve still got leftovers.”

“That’d be great. I’m starving.”

I microwaved him some pizza. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t remember a time that we’d ever been so polite. We bantered. That was just how the two of us were. And I’d screwed it up.

We watched another hour of TV. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d sat in front of it so long. Eight o’clock. Was that too early to pretend to need to go to sleep? Darn it, I didn’t have to work tomorrow. That would’ve been my only justifiable excuse.

When a reality show came on, I couldn’t stand to stare at the television anymore. There was nothing worse on, as far as I was concerned. People being fake and wanting attention.

“These shows are so fake,” AJ voiced what I’d been thinking.

I smiled a little. Knowing what he was hinting at, and not having any other options due to a lack of cable, I turned it off.

There was that awkward silence again.

“So… you’re all set to go to August’s tomorrow night, right?”

I nodded, still staring at the TV even though it was off. I couldn’t stand to look him in the eyes today.

“So…” AJ said. He shifted on the couch cushion.

I was talented. I’d managed to make the most easy-going, charming man in the world uncomfortable. He dealt with women all the time, but didn’t know what to say around me now.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe we should talk?” he said.

Oh, God. “About what?” I decided that playing dumb was the way to go. Maybe this would just go away.

“About last night,” AJ answered.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said, getting up. I quickly headed to my room, grabbing my purse on the pretense that I need to put it away. I was hoping the retreat would at least buy me some time, but when I turned around, he was standing directly behind me.

It really would’ve helped the situation if he could’ve not been looking so sexy tonight. But, no, life was never fair.

“Things have been weird today. I don’t get why you’re mad at me.”

“What do you mean, mad at you?”

“You can’t even look at me.”

“What do you want me to say? I feel like an idiot.”

“It was just a mistake,” he said. “Don’t worry about it. I know you didn’t… mean it. You’ve been through a lot this week.”

“Didn’t mean… what?” I stared at him, wondering what in the heck he was talking about.

“I still don’t get why you’re mad…”

“I’m not mad!” I raised my voice, feeling even more embarrassed. Why couldn’t he get that through his head? “Listen, you don’t…” I wanted to say ‘you don’t like me anymore,’ but luckily I realized how incredibly desperate that sounded before I spoke. “You’re not interested. I get it.”

He looked surprised and I felt a shift, though I didn’t understand it. “Not interested? I’m a guy. Of course I’m interested! Since the day I friggin met you!” Now he was the one who looked exasperated.

“Right,” I rolled my eyes. Hard to believe a statement like that when he’d pushed me away so quickly last night.

“Michelle, you’re not like the other girls I’ve dated…”

Ouch.

“Yeah, I get it,” I said again, crossing my arms, hoping he didn’t see my red face. Apparently he was “interested” in every female, but those were the only girls he was really interested in.

“No, you don’t,” he sighed.

“Look, can we not talk about this anymore?”

AJ opened and closed his mouth several times, struggling with whatever he wanted to say. Finally, he decided against saying anything. I jumped in surprise as AJ pulled me to him. I was about to ask what he was doing, but a second later his mouth was crushing mine.

This caused several other questions to rise. As he moved to my neck, though, my mind suddenly blanked. I definitely hadn’t expected the night to turn out like this.

I knew it didn’t mean anything. Well, it did, just not what I wanted it to mean. I was one of many. Hadn’t he just said he was a guy, and therefore interested on principle? But I hadn’t taken a lot of chances since moving from Maine, until I’d met AJ, of course. And life was short. That wasn’t just an overused phrase; it was something I was constantly being reminded of right now. My future was uncertain.

But I had the present.

I ran my hand through his hair- for once, he wasn’t wearing a hat or sunglasses. This night was full of surprises. AJ kissed me again, and then seemed to be trying to slow himself down. He took a step back, making eye contact as he moved to the bottom of my shirt, looking for consent.

Like I’d ever been capable of turning down his eyes.

My heart was racing as he lifted my shirt.

“Alright, this is the part where I’m supposed to run out of the room, right?” I joked.

AJ laughed. “You’ve been uncharacteristically nice all day, and now is when you choose to get sarcastic again?”

I smiled as he kissed me, closed my bedroom door behind him, and lowered me onto the bed.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I woke up on the very edge of the bed. Again. This boy was going to have to learn about sharing space. He had his hand on my stomach, holding me in place.

I glanced at the clock. Eight AM. I wondered if AJ needed to be at the studio by a certain time, but I didn’t want to wake him up to ask. I was perfectly happy to stay where I was.

Sunlight was creeping in through the blinds. He was snoring lightly. I couldn’t help but smile a little. I stifled the laugh so that I wouldn’t wake him. I don’t know how long I stared at his face. His beard was a bit scruffy. He looked peaceful, though. I sighed.

All of a sudden I heard music. AJ’s cell was going off. At first, he didn’t seem to hear it. The phone had been left in the living room, so the ring was distant. As the air quieted again, though, he shifted and opened one of his eyes.

Crap, I thought. Hopefully he woke up slowly and wouldn’t register that I’d been watching him sleep. How cliché was that, after all? Completely sappy. The fact that I was mesmerized by his face…

I was doing it again.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, both eyes closed again. His voice was deep and just a little raspy.

It sounded wonderful.

I smiled, blushing and not knowing how to respond. He pulled me closer to him.

“Glad you don’t have to work today.”

“That makes two of us,” I leaned my head against his shoulder. “What about you? Is that who was calling?”

He groaned, remembering that his phone had been going off. “Don’t go anywhere.” He got up, grabbed his boxers, and stepped into them as he left the room.

Being much more modest, I quickly got up and put on my own PJs before he came back.

“That was Brian,” AJ yawned and tried to flatten his hair. “He left me a message that he wasn’t coming in today.”

“How come?”

“Said he wasn’t feeling well. He sounded awful. Hope whatever he has wasn’t contagious. It doesn’t sound like something I want to catch.”

He flopped back down on the bed and slowly realized that I wasn’t in it anymore. “Hey, I told you not to move.”

“Don’t you still have to go in? Or can you not record without him?”

“I’m going to go in for awhile this afternoon. There’s… a song I need to finish.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway… got anything to eat?”

“Does this look like a Bed and Breakfast?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Well, you’ve got the first part down. Now it’s time to prove the other half,” he laughed.

I rolled my eyes. “Let me go and see what I’ve got.”

I decided on omelet’s, the only slightly impressive breakfast food I knew how to make. AJ set the table, and we ate together, talking as easily as during dinner the other night.

It was weird that this wasn’t weird. I’d expected this morning to be a little more awkward. But I guess he was used to this. And he was pretty easy-going anyway, in almost all situations. I wondered if he always stayed this long the morning after. The fact that he hadn’t bolted for the door had to be a good sign, right? This meal certainly wasn’t worth staying for, although he claimed it tasted great.

Then I remembered my stalker. AJ couldn’t in good conscience leave me, could he? He was too worried that Peter was going to show up and carry me off.

“What’s wrong?”

“Huh?” I returned my attention to breakfast.

“You look… pensive.”

“Just thinking.” The more I worried about when he was going to leave, the less I could enjoy the moment. Forget that. I could do with a little more of living in the present.

I put a smile on my face. “Last night was…” My smile widened.

He grinned back at me. Then said, “Oh, I have to go to the car!”

My smile lessoned. That hadn’t exactly been the response I was looking for. “Um. Okay?”

“No, I have something for you. I’d just forgotten about it.”

He grabbed his keys and headed outside. I wondered how long it would take him to realize that he was still only wearing his boxers. I hoped there was a random Backstreet Boy fan outside, walking by the apartment complex. That would certainly brighten their day.

What in the world did he have for me? The three minutes seemed to last forever. AJ finally reappeared.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Do you want your present or not?”

“Alright.”

“Hold out your hands.”

I did. He placed something in them. It was oddly shaped, though, so I still had no idea what it was. “Can I open my eyes now?”

No answer.

“AJ?” I asked, impatiently.

“Just giving you a little suspense!” he laughed. “Yeah, you can.”

I did. I looked at what I was holding. It was… AJ.

A five inch version of him, anyway. He had a brown hat and trench coat on. I started laughing. “What is this?”

“I told you I was a superhero!”

I continued to laugh. “You really did have an action figure! Oh my gosh!”

“What?” he crossed his arms. “You didn’t believe me?”

“Not really,” I smiled. “Thanks.”

“He can protect you when I’m not around. He’s got superpowers,” AJ winked.

“So does the guy he was created after,” I stared into his eyes, thinking that this was the most wonderful gift I’d ever gotten. “Thank you.”

“I know. I’m awesome.”

“And modest as always,” I pulled his head closer and kissed him.

The morning passed by too quickly. When Nick and Howie started calling, I knew that AJ should be heading to the studio.

“When are you going to August’s?” AJ asked.

“Not until later.” I continued before he could interrupt me, “But Dianna’s coming over at noon, and we were going to go see a movie. And I’m staying at August’s tonight.”

I kind of regretted that last part now, due to… recent developments.

“Happy? I’ve lined up all the baby-sitters.”

“Very,” AJ smiled.

I sighed. “Everyone’s going to start hating me… I mean, I can’t even drive myself. I’m the biggest inconvenience in the world.”

AJ frowned, thinking over what I said. “Well, you said you’d almost saved up enough money. What if I loaned you the rest, and you could buy the car you were looking at?”

I shook my head. “That’s your money, AJ. You shouldn’t have to buy me a car.”

“Well, this isn’t your fault. I don’t know why you keep blaming yourself.”

“I just… should’ve done a lot of things differently.”

“He’s the freak who caused it, not you. I can’t say that enough, can I? If we’re going to be mad at somebody, it can be him.” He wrapped his arms around me.

I was still getting used to the whole relying on other people thing.

Predictably, he waited until Dianna arrived before he left. He gave me a quick kiss good-bye. “I’ll call you tonight, and see you tomorrow,” he promised.

Dianna and I went to the movie. It wasn’t that great, but we had a good time. She suggested going to the mall from there. I declined that idea, for obvious reasons. We opted instead for window shopping in downtown Orlando. The day flew by.

“What do you keep smiling about?”

We were at some outside tables, at an ice cream parlor. What was better than a chocolate ice cream cone for dinner? I was trying to eat it faster than the sun was trying to melt it.

“Nothing,” I tried to wipe the grin off of my face but failed.

“Uh-huh,” she said. “That doesn’t look like nothing.”

“It’s… I’m… I’m just in a good mood. That’s all.”

“Uh-huh,” she said, unconvinced. “What time is August coming to pick you up?”

“She was going to come by at eight unless I called her and said differently.”

“Oh, okay,” Dianna said. “That works out perfectly. I’m supposed to meet Howie at the hardware store. He promised me we could redo the bathroom.”

“That sounds like fun,” I said.

“And I’m sure AJ will call you to make sure you got there safely?” she teased.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, he’ll check up on me, you can count on it. He’s very gun-ho about this whole thing.”

She was the one with a smile now. “I’m glad you guys have worked things out.”

“Well, we… I mean… we’re not really together at the moment. Although… well… I don’t know what we are actually,” I sighed, biting into the cone.

“Your good mood today says otherwise,” Dianna said loftily.

“I’m just worried about how long I’ll hold his interest,” I said, wanting to confide in someone.

“Listen, I’ve been with Howie for years. Years,” she stressed. “I’ve known AJ just as long. I’ve seen a lot of girls come and go…”

“Yes, I know!”

“He has never looked at any of them the way he looks at you. One day we are going to get that through your thick head!” she laughed. “You want it in writing?”

“Maybe,” I joked, thinking things over.

“Look, the Backstreet Boys!” we heard someone nearby say.

We both turned our heads, wondering what any or all of the Boys were doing here. Two girls, high school aged, were sitting at the table looking at a magazine.

“What’s it say?” the other girl asked.

“There’s a little article about their new CD.”

Dianna went to the other table. “Hey, would you mind if I read that, too?”

“Um, sure,” the girl handed her the magazine.

I followed her, looking over her shoulder to read.

“Are you guys Backstreet Boys fans, too?”

I laughed, as Dianna said that we were. Well, I supposed that was true. We loved their music- there just weren’t posters on our walls.

The article didn’t say anything that we didn’t already know, but it was still exciting to see the guys get the positive press.

We headed back to my apartment a little while later.

“This was fun,” I said.

Life wasn’t bad right now, either. If you ignored the whole Peter thing, it was pretty perfect, actually.

Okay, that was exaggerating. My job was still crappy. My apartment was still crappy. I still had no car. Blah, blah, blah. But I’d been thinking of AJ all day. And the Backstreet Girls were pretty darn awesome, too.

“Hey, hon,” Dianna answered her phone as she sat down on my couch. “You’re there now? I thought we were meeting at our place first…. Yeah, I know it closes in an hour… alright. I’ll call you back in a few.”

“He’s waiting for you, huh?”

“Yeah. You know, for being known as ‘Sweet D,’ the man is pretty impatient sometimes,” she laughed.

I looked at the clock. August would be here any minute. “Why don’t you go ahead and go. You’ve got a bathroom to pick out!”

Dianna bit her lip. “Are you sure? Aren’t you worried about being here by yourself?”

I shook my head. “I’ll be alone, what? Five minutes? It’ll be fine. I promise I won’t tell AJ you left!” I laughed.

She thought it over, then decided against it. “No…”

“Dianna! I feel horrible enough about you guys having to give me rides and watch me all the time. I don’t want to keep you from all the other things you need to do. So I say this with love: get out of my apartment!”

She smiled. “Alright, if you’re sure…”

“You don’t have a choice,” I pulled her off of the couch and shoved her out the door. “I’ll talk to you later!”

I brushed my teeth, got my overnight bag ready, and watched the hour get later. Fifteen minutes after eight, I started getting a little worried. August wasn’t usually late. Another ten minutes passed.

I decided to call her. It was getting slowly darker outside. I checked to make sure all the windows and the front door were locked and grabbed my purse. Where was my cell phone? That was weird. I knew for sure I’d had it in here. I started checking the apartment, in case I’d dropped it on the way in. That wasn’t like me though.

Why was I getting such a bad feeling all of a sudden? Just because I didn’t have my phone didn’t necessarily mean anything. I sat down on the couch, trying to remember the last time I’d seen it. I glanced at the clock again. It was already past 8:30. Where was August?

I picked up the AJ action figure that was sitting on the coffee table. I knew it was plastic, but it made me feel safer nevertheless.

Okay, I knew it was stupid for me to just sit here. I didn’t know what was going on, but I wasn’t so naïve not to realize that something was going on. I didn’t have a landline, but my neighbors did. They were only five steps across the hall. If they weren’t home, there was an older couple who lived next to me, and they rarely went out.

I needed to call AJ. The little voice in the back of my mind was screaming that over and over again. I looked through the peephole. Coast is clear, I thought.

Then I heard it. A window was crashing. It sounded like it was coming from my bedroom. I froze, wondering if I should check it out.

No. That was stupid. That’s what every person in every scary movie always did. The audience would be screaming at them, wondering why, and sure enough: that person always wound up dead.

I glanced around for my mace. It was in my purse across the room. There wasn’t time to risk grabbing it. I fumbled with the lock on the front door and stepped out into the hallway. I didn’t know the residents on the other floors, but I had a better bet of being out of sight before I stopped to knock.

I was heading towards the stairwell when I felt a hand wrap around my arm. Then I heard the cynical laugh that went with it.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

I must have really wanted to put this song on the album to be coming back to the studio now. This afternoon, I’d written a third verse. It wasn’t that great, though, so after grabbing a bite to eat at home, I’d come back to see if I could improve it.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

It was getting late, and everyone else had gone home. Brian was sitting in the studio by himself. He looked horrible. His hair was disheveled, there were dark circles under his eyes, and the smile usually present on his face was nowhere to be found.

“Here,” he passed me a piece of paper. It was the one I’d been using to write the lyrics on. He’d marked the third verse out entirely. “Yours kind of sucked.”

Couldn’t argue with that. I read over what Brian had put. “What were you thinking for the melody?”

He sang the verse for me, though his voice sounded strained. Still, it worked.

My phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that I had a text message. It was from Michelle. That was weird. I couldn’t remember her ever texting me before. For some reason, I thought she didn’t like to text.

Then I realized that I was just thinking about that being Peter’s favorite way to communicate.

At August’s house. Talk to you tomorrow.

That was strange, too. Why didn’t she want to speak with me tonight? I immediately thought about last night, but everything had been fine- more than fine- then, as well as this morning. When I’d left, she seemed happy. I hoped we were getting back to where we were before the whole Cheryl thing. If she didn’t want me seeing other people- and, of course, she didn’t- then I wouldn’t see other people.

I paused, having not even realized that I was ready for that commitment. But I was. I didn’t need any other girls when I had Michelle.

But, I reminded myself, there was no problem. Right?

So what was the deal with the text?

I returned my attention to Brian, shaking off my paranoia. “I think we have ourselves a song! We can record it by the end of the week…” I stopped talking when I noticed that he wasn’t listening. “I thought you were sick? What’d you come in for?”

He shrugged. “Needed to listen to some music. Ours was as good as any.”

His eyes seemed dead, and I wondered what I was missing.

“What’s wrong, Rok?”

“August left,” he said, his voice as monotonous as ever. Brian wasn’t returning my gaze.

I stood there, stunned. “Left? What do you mean, left?”

“She left me.”

“What? No. Why?”

He took a painful breathe. “She lost the baby.”

“She was pregnant?” I exclaimed. Then the full meaning of what he’d said hit me. “And… oh my, God, man. I don’t know what to say.”

Michelle’s text message suddenly made sense. If she was at their house with August, she probably didn’t want to be talking on the phone tonight. I could only imagine how upset August was. I knew she wanted kids. And she had such a mom-personality, she was going to be a natural parent… just not yet, as it had worked out. This loss must have been devastating for her.

There was silence for a moment. I sat down across from him. I didn’t know how to respond in any way that could possibly help the situation. How could anything make this better? I couldn’t imagine what he was going through.

“I didn’t even know she was pregnant,” he said, his eyes watering some now. “And I should’ve. I mean, she’d put on some weight… not a lot, and not in a bad way. But a few pounds. She’d had some morning sickness. She was eating differently. And… she tried to tell me on our anniversary. But I’ve been so wrapped up in me and this record, I didn’t have a clue.” Brian put his head in his hands.

“This isn’t your fault, B,” I said. “Even if you’d known, there was nothing you could do to stop this.”

He didn’t answer.

If August had left him, and she was at the house, where was he staying? Then it dawned on me. This was the real reason why he was at the studio, wasn’t it? He was going to sleep here tonight. I couldn’t stand the thought of him here alone, heartbroken.

“Listen, Rok, why don’t you come back to my place tonight? There’s no need to sleep here. I’ve got plenty of space.”

He looked up, puzzled. “Sleep here?”

I nodded.

“I’m not staying here. I’m at the house.”

Now I was the one who was puzzled. “Oh, I didn’t realize both of you… were staying at the house.” I didn’t know how to word anything. I felt like I was cutting an open wound. “That’s a good sign, though. You know she loves you, man. She’s just going to need some time to get through this.”

His voice cracked again. “AJ, she left. I think she’s staying with Carmen, but I don’t even know that for sure. August’s not returning any of my calls. I wanted to give it a day or two before I showed up. Because you’re right- I’m praying that I’ll be able to talk to her once at least a little time has passed. But, I don’t know. You didn’t see her face when she walked out.” Brian’s own face was blank again, obviously reliving it.

But I wasn’t thinking about his problems anymore, as important as they were. “What do you mean, August’s not at your place? I got a text just a few minutes ago from Michelle. That’s where Michelle said she was.”

Brian’s eyes widened. “No, man. I can promise you, they aren’t at the house.”

My heart started racing. What was going on? I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Michelle’s number.

“Brian, call your house and make sure.”

I had to give him credit. He was having one of the worst days of his life, but he snapped into action. He had his cell out in the blink of an eye.

I listened to ringing, and then Michelle’s voicemail picked up. I cursed under my breath, and glanced at Brian.

A few seconds later, he closed his phone. “No one is there, unless they just aren’t answering…”

Which was possible, if she wasn’t taking his calls. I jumped up. “I need to get to Michelle’s.” There was no proof of anything, and hopefully I was wrong. But I couldn’t ignore the bad feeling I had.

Brian threw me my keys and picked up his own. “And I’ll check my place. Call me when you get there, Michelle’s place is closer.”

I nodded, and we were both running out the door.

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

“Didn’t think you could avoid me forever, did you?” Peter’s wild eyes were staring into mine, a sick smile on his face.

I struggled to get free from his grip, but he was far too strong. He twisted my arm behind my back, and forced me down the stairwell. I almost tripped when I reached the steps, but he painfully jerked my arm up so that I didn’t lose my balance. We were behind the building now. I looked around for anyone, but the search was in vain; the area was quiet. This wasn’t a part of town where most people wanted to be wandering outside in the dark by themselves.

For this exact reason, I thought bitterly.

We were in an area between the apartment complex and some factory buildings, with scarce trees in between the two. During the day, surely someone from the apartment complex could’ve seen us from a window. But there were only two streetlights nearby, and one had been out for months. Thick clouds covered the moon, which made it that much darker.

I had to accept that I wasn’t going to find any help.

Which left me with the question of what the hell I was going to do now.

“Oh, Michelle. If only you could’ve seen that we belong together.”

I didn’t answer him.

“It didn’t have to end like this,” Peter said, feigning sorrow. His voice sounded both dramatic and crazy.

He was even worse, I realized, than when I’d left him in Maine.

“It doesn’t now,” I pleaded.

He waved a finger in front of my face. “I warned you, did I not? You left me,” he said, eyes growing darker now.

An image of AJ flashed in my mind.

“And I don’t regret it for a second,” I glared at him.

Peter’s hand came out of nowhere, striking my face, like so many times before.

“Now why do you say things to make me hurt you? You know that’s the last thing I want to do.”

He was mocking me. Lines similar to that had worked in the beginning. Before I knew better. Before I had sense to figure out his true character.

My eyes filled with water from the stinging that the slap had left on my face.

Peter shook his head, apologetically. “You know how I feel about crying.”

It was the sign of weakness to him. A sign for exploitation, I realized. His hand came up again, harder this time. I was knocked to the ground. It was as if we’d fallen, no pun intended, into our old routine again. Despite all of the time that had passed, I wasn’t any stronger now. I still couldn’t stand up to him.

Peter pulled a gun out of his pocket.

No, not our old routine. This encounter suddenly made the many others seem like child’s play.

“Get up,” Peter commanded, pulling me by my hair. I let out a scream as I stumbled to my feet, and he shoved me in front of him. I took several steps back.

And several more. But I knew escaping was useless. I couldn’t outrun a bullet.

“If only this could’ve ended differently,” Peter repeated himself. “I’m sorry you didn’t know better.”

Fear caught in my throat. I stood there, paralyzed, watching him raise his gun. I heard his cynical laugh one more time. For the very last time.

“Good-bye, Michelle,” he smiled.

I cringed, waiting for the trigger to be pulled. I took another few steps back. I heard the sound of the gun going off, and closed my eyes.

“No!” I heard a scream.

Suddenly, I was lying sideways on the ground, the wind knocked out of me. As I gasped for breath, I realized that someone was on top of me.

AJ.

He’d pushed me out of the way. I experience a split second of joy, from seeing him and knowing I’d been saved from the bullet. But relief quickly changed to panic. I knew what Peter would do to him.

“Oh, God, AJ, you have to get out of here! Quick!” I said when I could speak again. I couldn’t let him…

My heart stopped. Something was wrong. AJ was still lying there, lifeless.

“AJ? AJ?” I slowly rolled him over. My eyes had adjusted as best they could to the darkness, and the clouds had parted to reveal slivers of moonlight.

A bloodstain was showing through his shirt.

“No,” I breathed. “No, no, no, no, no,” I repeated over and over again.

I heard Peter’s laugh again and felt more hatred towards him than ever before.

I felt AJ’s heart. It was beating, faintly though.

“Hang in there,” I whispered, touching his cheek.

“Who knew I’d be getting the two for one special today?” Peter walked over to inspect AJ’s injury. “Look what you did, Michelle. Bringing someone else into this.”

I could practically hear AJ screaming in my head. This isn’t your fault. Why don’t you blame him? This is Peter’s fault.

“You did this!” I said, with as much conviction as I could manage. “Not me.”

Peter struck me, but I didn’t fall this time.

“Is that all you got?”

He looked taken aback. “Where is this false sense of importance coming from?”

“If he dies, I swear to God, I’ll…”

Peter grinned. “What? What can you do now? Looks like your boyfriend isn’t around to save you anymore,” he motioned to AJ lying on the ground.

I punched him as hard as I could in the face.

He stumbled backwards, but I wasn’t strong enough to do as much damage as I would’ve liked. He raised the hand with the gun, and I grabbed his arm so that he couldn’t aim it at me.

“You can’t honestly think you are any match for me!” Peter said, he tripped me and I collapsed next to AJ, my hand hitting something hard. I looked to see what it was.

“This is it,” Peter said. “It’s only you and me now. You can’t cheat death twice,” he pulled me up. Peter pointed his gun at me one last time.

I wasn’t going to just stand here this time. I had nothing to lose. As his finger moved to pull the trigger, I jabbed something in his eye with as much force as I could muster. He screamed, caught off guard. I used the opportunity to grab the gun from him, slamming it into his head as hard as I could.

Once he was lying on the ground, I kicked him several times, just for good measure.

As soon as I was sure that he was out cold, I knelt next to AJ. He was moaning softly, in severe pain. A pool had formed next to him. Tears streamed down my face. He had lost way too much blood.

I heard sirens in the distance.

“AJ! AJ, talk to me, please,” I took his hand in mine.

He managed to open his eyes, barely.

“What were you thinking?” I yelled. “That shot was meant for me. I can’t believe you!”

AJ smiled a little, and I knew what he was thinking. Only I would yell at someone who’d just saved my life.

He couldn’t die because of me. I couldn’t live without him. “Alex,” I said, crying harder now. I held his hand up to my face. “How could you do this?” This wasn’t fair. “Why?”

AJ coughed several times, and then cringed at the pain. He finally found his voice. It was faint, but I was able to hear it over the noise of police cars and ambulances.

“I love you.”

He’d said it slowly, having to use all of his strength to speak. Then, his eyes closed, and his breathing stopped.

~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

I couldn’t understand it. I mean, I was a man of faith, but I was having a harder time believing right now. How could He let this happen? I wasn’t the first, and, sadly, I wouldn’t be the last to ask this question after God had taken an innocent life.

And she hadn’t deserved it. To go through this, to experience the never-ending pain I knew it was going to cause. I didn’t think my heart was ever going to stop hurting. I started to wipe my eyes, out of habit, but I realized that I’d cried all of my tears. I didn’t have anything left but emptiness.

I glanced at her, sitting next to Carmen in the pew across from the aisle. Then I returned my gaze to the cross at the front of the room. There were stain glass windows and a wooden cross hanging from the ceiling. During the day, the light coming through the windows was probably beautiful.

Right now, there was only darkness.

I glanced over at them again. She didn’t look back, though. She hadn’t spoken to me since I’d walked in, several minutes earlier.

Carmen noticed my stares and sighed before standing up.

“Hon, I’m gonna go try to call Dianna and Howie again, okay?”

August nodded. When we were alone, I took a deep breath and went to sit next to her.

“Hey,” I said.

“H-” she couldn’t even get the word out without breaking down again.

I put my arm around her, pulling her close. I was surprised but grateful when she didn’t pull away. I gently rested her head on my shoulder, and then leaned my head on top of hers. We sat there for a long while. I didn’t know if she was crying for the baby or AJ.

Or both.

“It’s going to be okay,” I whispered. I didn’t believe my own words, but what else could I say? When she didn’t say anything, I added, “I’m so sorry.”

August couldn’t possibly know how much I meant it.

She sat up again, wiping her face, now red with puffy eyes. She was still beautiful to me.

“I-” I had to clear my throat to keep from getting choked up. “I would do anything to make this better if I could.”

August nodded, eyes vacant. “What if you’d gone with him?”

“Gone where?”

“To the apartments?”

“What do you mean?”

She took another few breaths before she was able to continue. “If you hadn’t thought you needed to check the house, you would’ve gone with- with-”

“AJ,” I finished for her softly. She was right; I would have.

“I don’t know what I would have done,” she cried.

I tried to put my arms around her again, but she shook her head and stood up.

“What if you’d gotten shot and you,” she waved her hands but couldn’t get the words out. Died. “Those words during the fight would’ve been the last things that I’d ever said to you.”

I stood in front of her, putting my arms on her shoulders, realizing what she was saying. “But they weren’t. I’m right here.”

“I’m so sorry, Brian,” August wept. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh,” I wrapped my arms around her, stroking her hair. “I’m the only one would should be apologizing. I love you more than anything. My career is meaningless if I can’t tell you about it and share it with you. I should’ve noticed what was going on, I should’ve been around more, been more interested in your life.”

I pulled a piece of paper out of my pocket. I’d grabbed it when we’d left the studio.

“This really isn’t… anything,” I said, handing her the paper. “A song the guys had been working on. Mostly, um… AJ, and he couldn’t figure out the third verse. I was at the studio thinking about us, about…”

The baby.

She unfolded it and scanned through the song. When she got to the third verse, she said, “Sing it?”

I glanced around. No one else was in the sanctuary. I still kept my voice quiet.

If I could be the light to guide you through the darkness, baby

If I could be the one to change the ending to your story

I’d be one in a million, yeah, I’d be one in a million

“That’s beautiful, Brian.”

“Happy anniversary?” I said, weakly, attempting to lighten the mood at least a little. I didn’t know much more sadness and heartbreak either one of us could handle.

I heard someone clear her throat. Turning around, I saw Michelle standing a few feet away. I could tell she hadn’t wanted to interrupt the clip of the song.

“Hey,” I said.

August went over and gave her a hug. “How are you holding up?”

Michelle shrugged. We followed her out of the sanctuary, back into the wing of the hospital.

“The doctors said that he’s stable for now. They’re still worried about internal bleeding and any permanent damage. They’re running some more tests. They… they won’t let me in to see him yet.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll let you in soon,” August said.

“I called his mom,” Michelle said. “The first time I ever get to talk to her, and it’s to tell her this. She must think I’m horrible.”

“Of course she doesn’t,” I said. “When’s she coming?”

“She’s calling the airport right now, trying to get the first flight out that she can.”

August started to say something, then paused, an odd expression on her face.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

After another pause, she said, “Yeah.”

I stared at the piece of paper August had handed back to me when I’d sung the verse. “Here,” I passed it to Michelle. “Howie and Nick helped a little, but AJ’s the guy behind the verses and chorus. He wrote the song for you.”

Michelle looked absolutely stunned. It was all she could do to stare at me for a moment. Unable to speak, she nodded, taking the song from me. “Um… I’ll look at this later.” She was trying not to lose it, so I changed the conversation as quickly as I could.

We followed Michelle back to the waiting room. Nick was in there, his head in his hands, sitting by himself in the corner. Carmen returned a few minutes later.

“I finally got Howie to pick up his cell. Apparently they’re both sound sleepers! We’d called their house phone a half dozen times already.” She was tapping her foot, looking annoyed.

“They on their way?” I asked.

Carmen nodded. “Yeah, they were going to head right over here.”

I looked at the clock on the wall. Three AM. I decided to get some coffee from the machine, and try to find tea or something for August, since she hated coffee. I turned to tell her where I was going, but she was gone.

“Where’d August go?” I asked.

Carmen shrugged. I decided to wait a minute and see if August was going to come back. Carmen kept glancing over at Nick, and finally went to sit next to him, putting her arm through his and simply sitting there silently with him.

I started to get a little worried. August and I had taken a step in the right direction. We’d finally spoke, I’d apologized again, and we’d reconciled. I knew we had a long road ahead of us, to get over the loss and for me to change. But I knew we could do it.

Why had she disappeared without a word, though?

Shaking my head, I went to find that cup of coffee. I ended up bringing the extra cup back to Michelle. She looked like she could use some. I yawned and handed it to her.

“Any update?”

Michelle shook her head. “He lost so much blood. If you hadn’t called 911, they wouldn’t have been there to revive him…”

I didn’t like thinking about how close it had come. I was grateful they’d responded so quickly.

Howie and Dianna joined us soon after, and we filled them in on what was going on. I finally decided to call Kevin. I’d been waiting until we heard about AJ’s condition, but I knew I couldn’t wait anymore. I didn’t want Kevin stressing when he couldn’t be here, but he’d be angrier not knowing what was going on. I promised him I’d call with constant updates.

I glanced at the clock. It was now a little past four AM. Carmen and Nick were both asleep, leaning against each other. Howie and Dianna, too, were nodding in and out.

“I’m going to go bug the doctors again,” Michelle sighed, standing up.

A few minutes later, August came back in the room.

“Brian, I need to talk to you.”

“Okay,” I said.

She glanced around, pausing when she saw Carmen and Nick. I smiled slightly. Even in the hospital, with all of this going on, with the week she’d had personally, she could still appreciate a “hopeless romantic” moment.

“Not here, it’s not really… appropriate.”

She dragged me out and down the hallway. We took the elevator to the first floor and went outside. There was a gazebo nearby, with some flowers around him.

“Where were you?” I asked. “I was getting worried.”

“I just had a feeling,” she smiled.

“About what?”

“Brian. I’m pregnant.” Her smile filled her face.

I stared at her. “Wait. What? No you aren’t. I mean…”

August laughed. “I was so sad when I didn’t get to tell you the news. But it turns out, I still get to! I didn’t want to do this in there, with everyone so worried about AJ. It feels so wrong to be happy. And you know I love him, and I’m worried, too, but… I’m pregnant!” she repeated.

“Um… uh… back up, baby,” I said. “How… when… how?”

“After I… told you and left, I went to the doctor,” she started talking really fast, the best indicator of her excitement. “I wanted to make sure. Anyways, I mean, I’d felt sick, there was some… blood. And… several other things,” August waved her hands vaguely, not wanting to get too graphic. “And the doctor agreed with me. He mentioned something about a blighted ovum, and the first trimester, and that almost every woman experiences a miscarriage at some point, but usually they are too soon for anyone to notice. You know, all that doctor speak. I wasn’t really listening. I was too upset. Anyway, he said it sounded like a miscarriage, and he checked me out and everything. I thought it was certain.”

“But?” I urged, hopefully.

“But today, I don’t know. I just had this feeling. I can’t explain it. Anyway, I found a nurse and- a female this time,” she stressed. “We did an ultrasound. I’m going to have to make another appointment for next week. She said it seemed like I’d experience implantation bleeding,” she looked at my expression. “Yeah, I know, gross. But it means that everything is going to be fine. She just said we really needed to monitor the pregnancy more… but that’s fine, because,” August’s eyes filled with tears.

“We’re pregnant,” I grinned and gave her a hug.

It was a true miracle.

We returned inside a few minutes later, deciding to wait to share our news. No one but Carmen and AJ had known about the miscarriage. Our thoughts returned to AJ.

“Well?” I asked Michelle.

“They’re just repeating the same old crap,” Michelle said. “Loss of blood. They said the longer he’s unconscious, the more we have to be worried about.” She shook a little as the words she was saying hit her.

A doctor came in at that moment, getting her attention.

“Miss, you may see him now.”

~*~Michelle’s point of view~*~

I went into the room, taking a deep breath when I saw him. He looked so pale, lying there asleep. Slowly, I walked over to him, trying to ignore the monitors and needles sticking out of him.

“AJ, I am so sorry,” I said, taking his hand.

I was hoping he’d magically sense my presence and wake up. But the monitors stayed the same and his eyes didn’t open.

What if he didn’t wake up? What would I do then?

This wasn’t fair. I should have been the one lying in the hospital. I was comforted only by the fact that Peter was rotting in a jail cell right now. Hopefully he’d be there a long time. If AJ could just get better, then we wouldn’t have anything to worry about anymore.

I love you.

I hadn’t been able to let that sink in until later. After they’d gotten him to start breathing again, after the ambulance ride.

I might never have the chance to say them back to him.

Suddenly, I remembered the song. Brian had said he’d written it for me. I glanced around. No one else was in the room. I got the piece of paper out of my pocket and unfolded it.

She wakes up with the sun

She throws on her clothes

Hoping her car will start

The second time around

The day has begun

The line's out the door

Serving up fraps

Until she can't take anymore

I see it in her broken smile, oh I

Wish I could tell her

You're one in a million

You're going the distance, babe

You're gonna work it out someday

I wish I could tell her

You're one in a million

But you never even look my way

No she never looks my way

She never, never, ever looks my way

She ties up her hair

Her makeup is smeared

Wiping the tears that she wants no one to see

She screams on the pain

I hear every word

Why don't you know how beautiful you are

Just see it in my broken smile

If I could be the light

To guide you through the darkness baby

If I could be the one To change the ending to your story

I'd be one in a million

I'd be one in a million

A tear ran down my cheek. I glanced back at AJ.

“Please be okay, Alex.”

I awoke with a start, not having realized I’d even fallen asleep. “Ouch,” I said, sitting up straight. I’d been leaning my head against his bed from the chair at an uncomfortable angle.

I didn’t know what time it was but when I peeked out the window, it was getting light out.

She wakes up with the sun.

I glanced at him and smiled slightly. He knew me too well. I’d read the song so many times, I practically had it memorized already. I couldn’t wait to hear the melody. I didn’t know how long I was going to have to wait for that, though. AJ looked the same.

A nurse came in to check him out. She said what I’d just deducted. I was getting so sick of hearing “we’ll have to wait and see.” All of these machines in here, and nothing could give me any more information than that?

The morning passed by slowly.

“Hey,” Brian came in.

“No, no new news,” I responded before he could even ask.

He nodded. “August and I are running home for a few hours to get showers and something to eat. Do you want us to bring you anything?”

“I’m fine. Thanks though. I’ll call if anything happens. But at this rate, it won’t,” I said, glumly.

“Aw,” Brian ran over and gave me a big bear hug.

Only he could have been up all night in the hospital and have that kind of energy.

It was infectious, though, and I was grateful.

The room stayed quiet for awhile. I was getting bored sitting there, staring at him.

“AJ Mclean, I swear- if you don’t wake up I’m going to kill you,” I threatened, too tired to cry anymore, too cranky to be nice about it.

One of the monitors started beeping differently, just for a few seconds. I glanced around, but everything was back to normal. And AJ was still motionless. But I could’ve sworn it had sounded like…

A laugh.

I was losing it, wasn’t I? I had to meet with the police again today, concerning the incident last night. If I didn’t start thinking clearer, they were going to believe I was crazy.

Nevertheless, the idea had been comforting. I took his hand. “The longer you make me wait, the more likely I am to replace the black nail polish,” I said, examining it.

I waited, hoping for a change. Of course, nothing happened.

I kept talking, anyway, sick of the silence. “You’d look sexy with a nice shade of pink.”

I laughed at myself, picturing what he would look like if I did that.

Still nothing.

I wondered again if I’d ever get the chance to reciprocate. To tell him how I felt. He’d had to mean it, right? It wasn’t just “well, I’m probably about to die, so what the heck?”

No, it was sincere. It had to be. Besides, it was past time to stop second guessing everything. And with that resolve, though he couldn’t hear me, I blurted it out.

“I love you, too.”

I stared at him, pretending he was just sleeping. If you ignored the hospital background, he did still look peaceful. My tattooed guardian angel.

He made a noise.

My heart stopped as I waited. It had been faint, and over almost before it had begun, but I’d heard it.

“AJ? Come on, AJ,” I coaxed. “Just give me a sign that you can hear me, okay?”

His face twitched, but he didn’t seem to have the strength to open his eyes. But he squeezed my hand.

I ran to get a doctor. As he returned to check on AJ, I went back to the waiting room. Nick, Howie, and Dianna were in there.

“I think he’s waking up!” I told them.

“Seriously?” Nick smiled. “That’s good! So he’ll be okay?”

“We’ll know shortly.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

That afternoon, I stood by his bedside. Brian and August had come back just as the others were leaving. I hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to him alone yet.

“Way to scare the crap out of us, man,” Brian said.

“You know,” AJ shrugged weakly. “I like to be different.”

Brian rolled his eyes and started to speak again, but August wrapped her arm around his and gave him a significant look. He caught on quickly.

“Alright, man. I… gotta go,” he sang. “Try to dodge the bullets, literally, while we’re gone, okay?”

AJ and Brian laughed. I cringed. I exchanged a look with August. She hadn’t found it funny, either.

Boys, I thought.

“Yeah, I’ll try,” AJ promised.

When they left, I sat next to AJ awkwardly.

“So… what happened?”

“We told you already.”

“No, I mean, specifically. How’d you take care of Peter? After I was, you know, useless and shot.”

“Useless? AJ, you can’t be serious. You saved my life!”

“I know, but I wish I’d been more help.”

I smiled at his earnest face. “Only you would risk your life to save mine and then not think it was enough. Anyway, I’m trying to tell you that you did save me,” I said significantly, a smile spreading across my face.

“What do you mean?”

I pulled something out of my bag. “Peter was about to… shoot again. He knocked me down.”

I saw the protective look cross AJ’s face.

“I poked his eye to distract him so that I could use the gun to knock him out,” I said, setting something in AJ’s lap. “You saved me,” I said again.

AJ looked at his action figure and smiled. I remembered that I’d been holding it when Peter showed up and must’ve dropped it outside my apartment. That’s how AJ had found us.

AJ flashed his trademark smile. “I told you I was a superhero.”

I made sure to roll my eyes. “Pretty lame pick-up line. You expect me to fall for that?” I joked.

“You know what I do remember?”

“What’s that?”

“You yelling at me.”

“You were lying on the ground bleeding. I was… pissed off!” I laughed, so happy to be talking with him. To know that he was going to be okay.

“Way to be grateful,” he said, sarcastically, taking my hand.

“Uh-huh. I guess you don’t remember today. Right as you were waking up?”

AJ thought a moment, but shook his head.

“I was talking to you.”

“What’d you say?”

“I love you, too.”

“Too? Wait, did I say that to you?” he looked astonished.

I stared at him, mouth open. So it had been one of those things you just say when you think it’s the end? He didn’t even remember. Now what was I supposed to say? My heart started racing, looking at the expression on his face. I didn’t suppose there was any chance I could get him to forget this conversation?

“Ha! Just kidding,” AJ laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world.

I started breathing again. “I am going to smother you with that pillow!”

“You know you love me,” he said with that air of cockiness I was always quick to snap back at. “In fact, you just admitted it.”

“I think I like him better than you,” I said, holding up the action figure. I gave AJ- the real AJ- a hug, anyway. “My hero.”

Then I pretended to smother him with that pillow.

“Yeah, Jack,” I said. “I know.” I rolled my eyes, returning to the cash register.

“Hey, babe,” AJ said. “Fun day at the office, I see?”

I turned around to see him leaning against the counter. The line was forever getting longer. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming by today. You don’t need to be in the studio right now?”

“Why would I be there? The album’s done! Finito!”

“Really? That’s amazing!”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m meeting the fellas in a little bit for lunch to celebrate. But I wanted to come by and see you first.”

I glanced back at the impatient customers staring at me. “AJ, can this wait?”

“Nope, the interview is this morning.”

I stared at him. “Interview for what?”

He peered at me from over his sunglasses. “Come with me and you’ll find out.”

“I can’t just leave!”

“Michelle. You see that guy over there?” he motioned to Jack. “You know he’s a jerk. I know he’s a jerk. This place is apparently never going to realize your potential and promote you. Time to say screw it.”

“You’re kidding me?” I put my hands on my hips. He couldn’t possibly be serious.

AJ shrugged, a sly smile on his face and started heading for the door. He gave me a look, silently asking if I was going to follow.

I started shaking my head. He was crazy. I glanced at Jack, a look of disapproval etched into his face. “You know what?” I said. “Sure.”

I took of my apron and grabbed my stuff. Peter was gone forever from my life, and with him, the feeling of inferiority he’d given me. A new life was within reach, and I was going to grab for it.

“What are you doing?” Jack demanded.

“Jack, I quit. I threw the apron on the counter and waved at the people as I walked by. “Good luck. Seems like you have a lot of people to serve!”

Outside, AJ was cheering. “I can’t believe you just did that!”

“Oh my God, I’m jobless. I have no idea how I’m going to pay my bills, but… that felt pretty darn good.”

AJ smiled. “Don’t even worry about it. A job opened up for the record company, at the studio. I started talking with some people, telling them who you were, where you worked…”

“Oh yeah,” I said, already worried. “I’m sure my coffee making skills really impressed them.”

“Calm down! The receptionist remembered you and put in a good word. And everyone respects her opinion. Anyway, it’s entry level. Not much more than you’re probably making now. But you’d be helping to manage booking studio time and keeping everything organized. And there’s room for advancement.”

“You think I can do it?” I asked, not at all mentally prepared for an interview.

He grabbed each of my shoulders. “Michelle, I know you are.”

I was never, ever going to tire from looking into his deep brown eyes. I nodded and followed him to the studio.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“It is so nice to be eating something other than hospital food! Living off jello for days is not for me,” I said.

“Right. Because you didn’t have a cool friend who snuck you in McDonalds every once in awhile?” Nick said pointedly.

I laughed.

“So are you guys ready to get out there again?” Howie asked.

Nick nodded. “It’s been too long since we’ve toured! I’m going a little crazy.”

“Nick, you’re always a little crazy!” I opened one end of the straw and blew the wrapper at him.

“I’m glad our music has matured more than we have,” Howie rolled his eyes.

Brian turned serious. “Guys, we’re really going to need to focus. We have to prove to everyone that we are just as good of a group of four. The harmonies are just as good. Whatever the media has to say about us, we need to stay on the same page. They’re always trying to cut us down and break us up. We’re going on fifteen years here, our fans our loyal. We’ve have to be unbreakable…”

I stopped listening to what he was saying. Something had caught my attention. I elbowed him.

“And… what?” he turned to me.

“I think we finally have our album title.”

Nick and Howie stared at me curiously.

“What?” Brian asked.

“Unbreakable,” I said. We’d certainly beaten the odds time and time again. I thought of our superhero action figures. We were still making music, long after our “shelf life” was supposed to end.

Brian thought about it. “That’s really good.”

The other two seemed to approve as well. Howie said “good job, AJ” just as Nick was saying “good job, Brian.”

“Hey, it was my idea!” Brian laughed, turning to me.

“What? I was the one who pointed it out, or you wouldn’t have even noticed!”

“But I said it,” Brian shoved me a little.

“Rok, you are delusional!” I shoved him back.

“Me? I came up with the title! As usual!” he stuck out his tongue.

People started to stare, but we didn’t notice. The four of us were having a good time.

It seemed like this quartet thing was going to work out afterall.

~*~*~*~*~

“Hey, how did it go?” I asked Michelle. I was picking her up to go to dinner at Brian’s. A double date.

Michelle’s smile lit up her face. “I think I have a new job.”

“That’s great!” I enveloped her in a hug and gave her a kiss.

“Thanks, AJ.”

“Um, before I passed out, I kind of remember you switching to Alex again. What happened to that?”

“AJ, Alex,” Michelle shrugged. “I love them both.”

I smiled. We’d gone through so much, but suddenly it all seemed so easy.

“You know,” Michelle said. “You only said those three little words once to me.”

“What words?”

She followed me outside and cocked her head to the side. “You know what words.”

I smiled taking both of her hands into mine. “Michelle, I love you.”

I saw her smile, but she shook her head. “Oh, that’s not enough now.”

“What do you mean? I’m not about to be unconscious this time.”

“But you went too long without saying it. Now you’ve gotta prove it.”

“How?” I asked her, putting on my sunglasses. Summer was almost over. I’d be leaving to do a radio promo tour soon. I was enjoying every second I had with her while I could. Of course, one reason I wanted her to get hired by the studio?

There were always jobs to do on the road. It’d be easier to get her to come with me more often.

Michelle shrugged. “That’s for you to decide.”

I noticed her sly smile and started catching on. “You pick up your new car tomorrow.”

“Ah, but this is today.”

I thought about it. Brian’s house wasn’t too far away.

I handed her the keys to my Porsche.

“Aw, you do love me!” she grinned.

“Just a little bit,” I laughed, opening the driver’s door for her. “But be careful!”

“Oh, you know me! I never get into any trouble.”

I laughed and got in the seat next to her. “Alright, where’s my cape? Never know when I’m going to need it!”

“Haven’t driven in awhile. This is fun!” Michelle said, speeding up a little as she got out onto the road.

“Did I say cape? I meant seatbelt!” I grabbed it as she flashed me the smile I was usually giving her.

“The ride is only beginning!” she laughed.

And that was more than fine with me.