Deanna awoke from her slumber to hear giggling, giggling that she knew belonged to her daughter Mel. She opened her eyes and was met with Nick's blue ones.

"Morning baby," he said sweetly giving her a soft kiss

"Mmm...morning," she said sitting up rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Sleep well?"

"Yes I did."

"Eet i' bout time oo' i' up Mommy," Mel said trying to be serious but broke out into a fit of giggles.

"Whats so funny?"

"Nothin'."

"You know Mel she's just a happy little girl," Nick stated

"That she is." She was still a little tired from being with Brian the night before.

She loved Nick really she did but there was just something about Brian the enticed her. She got out of bed and grabbed Mel and all three of them went downstairs for breakfast. She sat on the couch as Nick had instructed, she was never allowed to lift a finger which she didn't mind but she wished sometimes Nick would let her help him. But all she ever got from him was 'I got it'. Sighing she layed her head on the back of the couch as Mel played on the floor. Her mind drifted to last night when she had been with Brian...

"Baby your here," he said spinning her around as she giggled.

"Yes Brian I'm here."

"Good I've missed you," he pulled her to him for a very heated kiss.

The next thing she knew he had lifted her up and wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her into their bedroom. He layed her down and got on top of her.

"I love you so much honey."

"I know I love you too," she said returning his smile...

"Baby," she was knocked out of her daze by Nick who was standing in front of her "Breakfast is ready," he said holding out his hand as she took it.

He walked behind her with his arms around her waist. She smiled, he was so sweet she hated lying to him but what else could she do? They ate breakfast making small talk about nothing in particular. Mel was never the neatest eater she would always throw food around eggs here, toast there.

"Mellie...," Nick started

"Oopsie sawwy Daddy."

"It's ok just eat your food don't throw it."

"K'," she said eating a spoonful of eggs

"That's my girl."

Just watching them two made me fall in love with him all over again. I never thought I would be this happy till the day I met Brian.

Brian...my god how would he take it if he knew I was seeing his bestfriend when I was married to him? I didn't really wanna think about it, but as the days wore on I couldn't help but to think about it. And about how hard it would be to give up one of the men I held dear, up for good. I sighed playing with my food on the plate. Nick noticed this.


"Baby," he said placing his hand over mine "You ok?"

"Hmm?," I answered looking up at him

"Yeah fine. Nick could I ask you something?"

"Sure baby anything."

"Well I have this friend and she's kindof seeing two men at once, and she doesn't know what to do...if you were one of the guys she was seeing. I'm just asking...would you be mad at her?"

"Would I be mad at her? Yes I would. That would be lying and deceitful but I don't have to worry about that cause you would never lie to me," he said smiling.

I smiled back but not a sincere one. That proved it, that if this actually came out I would lose Nick no matter what happened.

What am I gonna do?

** Flashback **

2000

Nick and I were invited to AJ's house for a party. I hesitated at first afraid of what my boyfriends friends would think of me.

"Don't worry they are gonna love you," Nick said placing a tender kiss on my forehead

"I know it's just I've never met any of your friends before let alone your 'brothers'."

"Well thats cause I wanted you all to myself," he teased pulling me close to him smiling down at me. I couldn't help but laugh

"Ok I'll go, where are we going again?"

"AJ's he's throwing a pool party."

"Oh...," she looked down. He knew what she was thinking, she never did feel comfortable in a bathing suit let alone being in one around his friends.

"Baby can you forget your insecurities for one day please? For me? These guys are like family, and I'll make sure nobody teases you ok?," he said pressing his forehead against mine

"Ok Nicky."

"Now..," he pulled away and pushed me in the direction of the stairs "Go put that bathing suit on and let's go." I looked back at him and smiled going upstairs.


Half an hour later we arrived at AJ's house, it was nice. It sat by itself no other houses really surrounded it except for one a few blocks down. I felt the car stop and saw Nick get out, he opened my door and helped me out. I took his hand as we walked up the gravel pathway to the back of the house.

"Sup' guys?," Nick said opening the gate

"Nick what's up man?," AJ said coming towards him hugging him "Glad you could make it."

As AJ let Nick go he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the backyard.

"Guys...," he began "this is my girlfriend Deanna."

I smiled weakly.

"Hi the names Kevin Nick's told us so much about you," he said shaking my hand. "Hey cous come over here and meet Nick's girlfriend."

"Be there in a min---whoa...," when he saw her he was mesmerized. To him she was beautiful, but deep down he knew he didn't have a chance seeing as she was with Nick.

"Hey I'm Brian," he said in his southern accent

"Hi. I'm Deanna Nick's girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you, you really lucked out Nick she's a dime."

Nick smiled and pulled me to him "Don't I know it," he softly kissed me and walked over to where his friends were. Leaving me standing there with Brian.


"So...um...how long have you been with Nick?"

"A year."

Nick came back over and pulled me with him "Come on baby I'm starving."

"Bye Brian nice to meet you," I said as I followed Nick. He made me a plate and himself one and we sat at the table.

"It's so good to see you happy Kaos," Howie spoke up

"Thanks D she makes me happy," he said taking my hand bringing it to his mouth and lightly kissing it, I smiled.

After we ate we sat around and talked for a while and I met Howie's and Kevin's wives. They were so nice. And now I sat on the edge of the pool watching Nick swim and play with Kevin's son Devin.

"You coming in?," Nick asked as he swam to me

"In a little bit."

"Come on baby I brought you here to have a good time not for you to sit around and look so down."

"Alright...," I stood up and pulled my shirt and shorts off and sat back down. Nick brought his hands to my waist and I put my hands on his shoulders as he helped me in the pool.

"Cold?"

"A little," I said looking up at him. I touched his face and leaned him forward softly kissing him.

Brian watched from the patio, watched as his best friend and his girlfriend kissed, with maybe a hint of jealousy? That's when he realized that he was in love with his best friends girlfriend.


Kevin's wife Chris walked to him and sat next to him, his eyes were fixed on the pool and the couple that was in it.

"B-Rok you ok?"

"Huh?," he said looking up at her "Oh yeah just fine."

"Is it just me or have you been distracted since Nick and his girlfriend got here?"

"Yeah...distracted..."

"Brian talk to me." "Chris I can't, it's personal."

"Ok then," she put her hand on his shoulder and got up. He just met the girl, how could he develop feelings for her so quickly he didn't know.

Seeing her with Nick made him jealous, he wished it was him she was holding, him she was kissing, him she was giggling with. He sighed 'maybe in another lifetime' he mumbled to himself.

"Momma!," Chris screamed when he saw me

"Hey Chris," I said picking him up

"Where's your Daddy?"

"He's...he's upstairs."

I put him down and headed upstairs. "Brian.."

"Hey honey," he kissed my cheek and returned to what he was doing

"Going somewhere?"

"Yeah I gotta go out of town for a few days."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah baby everything is fine it's just I'm gonna visit my family and..."

"Why don't I go with you?"

"You wanna come with me?"

"I mean sure I am your wife right and I've never met your parents seeing as we had a very small wedding and I'd love to meet them."

"Ok then, do you wanna bring Chris and Gracie along?"

"Of course they should meet their grandkids right?"

He laughed a little "Right."

"Well I tell you what you start packing and I'll call the airline and reserve three more seats ok?"

"Ok," he kissed me and walked out of the room.

I went to the closet and pulled down a suitcase and put it on the bed.

"Oh shit...I'd better call Nick and tell him I'm leaving."

I looked out into the hall to make sure noone was there and shut and locked the door. I picked up the phone and called Nick.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby."

"Hey yourself, where are you?"

"I'm at a friends listen I'm going to be out of town for a few days at a friends house, her family is having some problems and she wants me to go with her."

"Oh ok...," I heard his voice drop

"Aww baby it's only a few days."

"But me and Mel are gonna miss you."

"I know but think about all the fun we'll have once I get home."

"Oh yeah?"

"Uh huh...now I gotta go. Love you and tell Mel the same."

"Ok I will, Love you too." I quickly hung up and went and unlocked the door

'How much longer am I gonna be able to pull this off.'
I thought as I grabbed some clothes and put them in the suitcase.


We were packed and ready to go.

"Momma," Chris started "where we goin'?"

"We're going to meet grandma and grandpa."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

Chris started clapping "Yay!"

I picked Gracie up and Brian grabbed Chris and we got into the car and drove to the airport. The plane had taken off, I fell asleep but Brian was wide awake. He felt his phone vibrating.

"Hello?"

"Hey B sup' man?"

"Oh hey Frack what's up?"

"I was thinking we could get together and hang out since my fiancee's out of town."

"Is she now? Well I wish I could, but I'm on a plane headed to Kentucky."

"Oh...weird dontcha think?"

"What's weird?"

"You and my fiancee' leaving town the exact same time."

"Yeah it is a little I guess, hey Dee's here wanna talk to her?"

"Sure..."

"Baby it's Nick he wants to talk to you," I woke up and shook my head 'no'.

"She must not be feeling too good, I woke her up."

"Sorry...and another thing have you noticed that your wifes name and my fiancee's name are the same?"

"Yeah I've noticed that maybe they're related."

"Could be..."

"And come to think of it I've never met your wife."

"Well I've never met your fiancee' maybe we should set up a date and get together."

"Yeah we could do that look I gotta go."

"Alright Frack I'll call ya when I get back."

"Ok bye."

Brian hung up and rested his head on the headrest. Nick did have something, it was kinda strange that him and his bestfriend had women in their lives with the same name.


Before we knew it we were in Kentucky. His parents lived in this big house on top of a hill, it was beautiful.

"You know it's beautiful out here," I said looking out the window of the cab

"I know maybe we should move up here," he smiled and grabbed my hand. I just smiled back. We pulled up to the house and Brian's mom was standing at the door to greet her son

"Hi Mom," he said as she embraced him in a tight hug

"Hey Baby it's good to see you, and who's this lovely young lady?"

"Momma this is my wife Deanna and our kids Gracie and..," he looked around for Chris.

"Grandma!," he yelled running to her

"Why hello there aren't you a spitting image of your Daddy," she said pinching his cheeks. He just giggled.

"Where are my manners come on in HAROLD!," Jackie yelled "YOUR SONS HERE!"

"Hey Dad," he said as his Dad walked to him and hugged

"It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too."

"And who might this be?"

"I'm Brian's wife Deanna it's nice to meet you," I said reaching out my hand but he hugged me

"Bout time my son found a good woman and settled down."

Maybe this was a bad idea, his parents seemed to like me so much and I was betraying him. This could get ugly.

I layed in bed with Brian that night tossing and turning, I just couldn't sleep. I missed Nick, I missed him alot. I didn't know what to do. I felt Brian stir behind me.

"Deanna? What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep. I'm gonna get some warm milk..." Brian held my hand.

"Or maybe...a midnight snack...?" He looked at me with those fiery blue eyes of his.

But I wasn't in the mood. As much as I want to...believe me, who wouldn't want to? But I wasn't there. I got out of bed, and went to the kitchen. As I heated a cup of milk in the microwave, I picked up the phone on the wall, and called Nick.


I didn't expect him to pick up so quickly.


"Hello?"

"Hey Nick...How are you?"

"I'm good...Missing something though."

"What might that be?"

"You."

I smiled to myself, and looked down on the ground. Nick knew from the silence that something was wrong.

"Baby? What's the matter?"

"I just miss you, that's all..."

"So do I. When are you coming back again?"

"Next week." Nick sighed heavily.

"Deanna, you said a few days."

"I know, but...I'm sorry."

"That's ok, baby. You have fun, and let me know how things are, ok?" I didn't realize that Jackie was by the doorway.

"Ok, baby. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok, honey. Bye." As I hung up the phone, I turned around, and saw Jackie.

"What was that about?" "Uh...Mrs. Littrell...I..."

"Don't you dare Mrs. Littrell me...I asked...what was that about?" I hung my head down and looked at the ground. "Answer me."

"Mrs. Littrell, I can explain..."

"You can explain this to my son. As of tomorrow, I want you out of my house. I don't want anyone like you in this house! You can start packing now."

"But Mrs.--"

Before I could get anything out, she walked out the room. I knew right then and there...that I was in deep, deep trouble.


I made my way upstairs muttering to myself 'I knew it would come to this.'

I pulled my suitcase from the closet and started taking my clothes out of the dresser. Brian sat up

"Baby...what's going on?," he asked watching what I was doing

"Your mother wants me gone."

"She wants you gone? but why?" I sighed continuing to pack

"Deanna...," he grabbed my hands "why does she want you to leave?"

"I..."

"Stay here I'm gonna get to the bottom of this." I didn't protest as he got out of bed and went to his parents room and knocked.

Jackie opened it "Brian...is she still here?"

"Momma why did you tell Deanna she had to leave?"

"I walked in on a conversation she was having...I don't know who she was talking to but whoever it was she called them baby."

"She...she did?" She closed the door so she wouldn't wake his father "I'm sorry honey she did...I take it you didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"Brian baby you know I wouldn't lie about something like this, I think this girl is playing you."

"Momma," he gasped "How could you say that about Dee, she would never do that?"

"Then you obviously don't know your wife too well then do you?"

"Come with me," he grabbed her hand and led her down to their room.


I quickly stood up as Brian and Jackie came in the room.

"Deanna my mother came up with this crazy story that your playing me is that true?"

"I...," I bit my lip not knowing what to say

"Please tell me it's not true."

"I uh...," I sighed "I'm sorry Brian."

"Oh my god...," he stepped back "It is true."

"I told you."

"Could you give us a minute?"

"Sure but aftwards I want her out of my house," and with that she left not saying another word.

"Brian I'm so sorry." He sat on the bed looking down at the floor

"Dee just answer me one thing...who is he? Do I know him?"

"Yes you do, it's someone you know very well."

"It's one of the guys isn't it?"

"It's Nick."

"My friend my best friend...your seeing my best friend while your married to me?"

"Yes."

He sighed heavily "I can't even look at you can you just leave please?" I didn't say a word but went in the bathroom and got dressed grabbing my suitcase

"What about the kids?"

"We'll take care of that when I come home."

I sighed and walked downstairs and called a cab. It came quick and I got in looking at the house as it drove off. I started crying I had lost Brian and I knew that when I got home I was gonna lose Nick too.

When I got back home I called Nick and asked him to get me. He saw I had been crying.

"Baby what's wrong?," he asked as I got in the car

"Can you just take me home please?"

He got in the drivers seat and started it up. I just leaned my head against the window, I felt his hand reach for mine and I grabbed it squeezing it. When we got to the house I got out and Nick took my suitcase and opened the door.

I went in and made my way upstairs, Mel was asleep. Thank god I didn't want her to see me upset. Nick came up a little later and closed the door.

"You wanna talk about it?," I heard him ask as he lay next to me.

I turned to face him "No." I leaned up and kissed him.

"Dee as much as I want to, your upset."

"Make love to me...please..."

"Deanna..." "Please...," his lips covered mine again and I pulled him on top of me.

I just wanted him to love me one last time before I broke the news to him. I held onto him the whole night afraid to let go.


Nick was the first to wake up and saw me sleeping beside him, he smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Rise and shine..." I opened my eyes and saw that gorgeous face, that face that I knew would have anger all over it when I told him.

"Are you alright? You weren't yourself last night, it was like it would be our last night together."

I started crying "Baby what's the matter?"

I sat up and pulled away from him still crying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Nick..."

"Hey...why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to take it this far..."

"Take what this far?," he lifted my chin so I was looking at him

"Tell me whats wrong."

"Your gonna hate me when I do." "I would never hate you."

"Remember the other day..the question I asked you?"

"Yeah..what about it?"

"It wasn't my friend I was talking about it was me."

"You? but you...wait...your telling me your seeing someone else besides me?"

"Yes..I'm so sorry.."

"Ok so where were you then?"

"With Brian at hi---"

"Wait wait..hold on just a damn minute, you were at Brian's but you told me...you lied to me."

"I..."

Nick quickly got up "Don't talk to me."

I grabbed his arm "Nick please.." He grabbed my arm

"Deanna no I meant what I said, so last night you just wanted me to fuck you one last time?"

"I just wanted to be comforted..."

"Get out," he said his voice low

"But.." "I said get out," he repeated raising his voice.


I got out of bed and got dressed, grabbing a few things as Nick just sat on the bed his eyes on me almost evil like. I went downstairs and Nick followed. I opened the door and looked back at him

"I love you."

"Yeah sure...whatever just leave..."

I closed the door behind me and I heard it lock. I sighed I had nowhere to go then I thought, Kevin's house Chris would let me stay there. I waved down a cab and headed off towards Kevin and Chris's house.

"You did what?!," Chris screamed at me when I told her what happened

"Don't yell...I feel bad as it is already..."

"You should."

"Honey calm down," Kevin said putting his hands on his wifes shoulders

"She already feels bad as it is don't make it any worse."

"I know but she lied to them both Kev, she should be ashamed," and with that she stormed off in the direction of the kitchen.

Kevin sat down next to her "It's gonna be alright."

"Easy for you to say...I'll never see my kids again."

"Brian may be mad but he would never keep your kids from you."

"I know that, but I'm not sure about Nick."

"About Ni---you have kids with him too?"

"Just one our daughter Mel, I had her before all this started."

"Dee your really at a crossroads, I don't know what to tell you. All I know is that you gotta figure this out on your own. But if you ever need anything me and Chris are here."

I smiled at him "Thanks Kev I know."

"Bullshit," she said coming out of the kitchen "I am not helping her!"


"Kevin, I am not taking her in my home, understood?" Kevin tried to say something else, but she put her hand up.

"I'm dead serious. Deanna, I want you out."

"But--" Chris walked up to me, and shouted, "I said get the hell out! I don't want to see you!"

Kevin spoke up "But baby she has nowhere to go, we can't kick her out. Where will she go?"

"Tell someone who gives a fuck!," she screamed.And with that, Chris left the room, heading upstairs, slamming the door.

"Deanna, look I--"

"Save it, Kev." I got up, and walked out the house, closing the door behind me.

I sighed sitting on the steps 'now what?' I asked myself. I decided to go to a hotel that was the only option now. I waved down a cab, again...and asked the driver to take me to the nearest hotel. I paid him and got out, went in, and paid for a room. I opened the door to my room for the night and possibly for the week as I figured out what I was gonna do. I fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, I thumbed my wedding band thinking of Brian, I then reached up to my neck and thumbed the ring on my necklace, my ring from Nick. What in the hell was I gonna do? I was so screwed.


Like I had imagined I spent the next three days here in the hotel room. I missed Nick and Brian so much but most of all, I missed my kids. I hadn't even thought of them in this, oh god...Gracie was just a baby she'd never understand. I layed my head down on the bed and the phone rang.

I picked it up "Hello?" It was Brian.

"Come to the house now. You, Nick, and I are gonna have a talk."

He hung up no see you then or bye. I put the phone down and left the hotel room not knowing what the hell was gonna go down.

I got to the house and knocked Brian answered it and I walked in.

"Where are the kids?"

"At Kevin and Chris's, sit."

I sat down in a chair opposite Nick he just looked down at the floor. He wouldn't even look at me.

"How could you do this to us? Lie to us?" I looked down

"I don't know..."

"You don't know?!," Brian said raising his voice "You lied to me hell you lied to Nick! What the hell was going through your mind when you did this?!"

I was on the verge of tears I'd never seen Brian so angry "I don't know."

"I loved you Deanna you were my wife but you betrayed me, and look what you've done to Nick you had him fooled too!"

I was crying now "I know I'm so sorry...I didn't expect it to get this out of hand."

"Well too late it did, now the question is what are you gonna do to fix it."

Nick finally spoke up "You deceived both of us Dee we don't think we could ever forgive you."

"I wouldn't expect you to," I said in a low voice

"Good cause I'm not, I meant what I said I am very pissed off at you right now, so bad I don't even wanna see you. And don't even bother to stop by and see Mel cause of right now," he got up and stood over me "You have no daughter."

And with that Nick stormed out slamming the door.

"I could be mean and do the exact same thing but I don't believe in keeping a mother from her children, if thats what Nick wants to do then so be it. Tomorrow we are going to a lawyer and filing for a divorce."

I started crying harder.

"Deanna don't pull the crying act on me now, you knew this was going on but you did nothing to stop it so it's your own fault."

I didn't say anything but got up and ran out of the house.


Brian didn't even bother to run after me I knew he wouldn't, but a part of me wished he would. So here I sat on his steps crying my eyes out, I was alone and it was all my fault. Brian looked out the window and saw me on the steps and sighed. There was no way he was gonna take me back not after what I did.

"I wanna see Mommy!," Mel screamed as Nick tried to calm her down

"No Mellie you can't, Mommy's not coming back."

"But why?," she asked looking up at Nick her blue eyes filling with tears.

Nick picked her up and wiped her tears "It's a long story honey all you need to know is that your Mommy hurt Daddy very bad ok?"

She sniffled and nodded her head. "It's gonna be alright," he said holding her close as she continued to cry.

'Maybe I could let her see her one last time before all this goes through' he thought as he cradled Mel.

Still holding her he picked up the phone and called my cell.

I was still crying when I answered it. "Hello?"

"Your daughter wants to see you," Nick said then hung up.

I sighed getting up waving down a cab and headed to Nick's apartment. I knocked on the door and Nick answered it, I went in and sat on the couch.

Mel came into the living room and saw me "Mommy!," she screamed running to me.

I picked her up and hugged her tight "Hi baby, god Mommy misses you so much," I was crying.

Mel looked at me "Mommy it's ok no need to cry."

I smiled she was so cute sometimes.

Nick did love me but he couldn't take me back cause that would be saying he forgave me for what I did, which he didn't.

Brian and I went to the lawyers office the next day. Chris and Kevin watched the kids.

I sighed as the lawyer was asking Brian all sorts of questions, then the question about the kids came up and I sat up waiting for what he was gonna say.

"I understand you have two children a...," he looked down at the paper "boy and a girl correct?"

"That's right."

"Did you want to have full custody or did you want partial?"

"Partial as in..?"

"Well partial would be you and her both having custody even though you are divorced, you can arrange for a specific time about when she can pick them up, how long she can have them, or if you just want visitation. It's up to you Mr. Littrell."

"Visitation is out of the question, I don't believe in keeping children away from their mother. Is there a way we could split it up like she has them for some of the year and I have them for the rest?"

"Yes there is, but it's very complicated cause then you'd have to enroll them in different schools each time they are with the other parent."

"Oh ok...how about splitting the time up like holidays or whatever?"

"Like I said Mr. Littrell it's completely up to you your the one filing for divorce."

So according to the lawyer I had no say so Brian could choose when or if I get to see them.

"Could we have some time to think about it?"

"Absolutely I understand this is a very hard decision for both of you and you want to do whats in the best interest of the child or in this case children."

"I agree."

So with that said Brian and I signed the papers and were out of the office. We got in the car, and Brian turned to face me.


"Deanna you know I care about you and I always will but we just can't be together anymore, as for the kids we will work this out amongst ourselves without the lawyers ok?"

"Ok."

Brian started the car and drove off.

"Where are you staying?"

"At a hotel nearby until I can get my own place."

"As long as your staying somewhere, but how about we do this. Until you can get settled you can come visit the kids at the house does that sound alright?"

"Yes it does. Have you told them yet?"

"Chris yes Gracie no...she's too young to understand."

"Yeah...I just hope they don't hate me for this."

"They shouldn't and I didn't tell them the whole story, I sugar coated it a bit in a way Chris would understand."

"Oh ok." He dropped me off at the hotel

"Whenever you want to see them just give me a call."

"Alrgiht..."

Brian drove off leaving me in front of the hotel. At least he wasn't taking the kids from me. But Nick he didn't even think twice he filed for full custody of Mel, he didn't want me in her life at all. And who could blame him. I looked up at the hotel and sighed making my way in, this was gonna be my home for god knows how long till I could get my own place.

I never had to worry about that with Nick and Brian, cause they took care of me and now as I rode the elevator up to my floor, I had noone to take care of me. I was on my own.