Chapter 8
Nick carried the tray up to the bedroom with care, knocking on the door slightly.
"Amanda?" he called, not moving into the room just yet.
"Hi, honey." she said as she laid in bed watching television. She seemed calmer now than she had been an hour ago.
"I figured you were still hungry so I made you this." Nick smiled. He laid the tray in front of her and Amanda grinned, smelling the pizza.
"Oh wow, this....is....mmmmm..." she muttered, her mouth full of warm cheese. Nick smiled at his wife as she ate half of the pizza herself.
"I take it that you like it, then? I'm sorry about earlier." he apologized, looking down at his lap. Amanda licked her lips and sighed with content before taking his hand.
"Baby, my emotions are so out of whack right now....I didn't mean to treat you that way. I love you and I'm sorry I said all of that." she replied. Nick looked away from her and sighed, a small smile on his face.
"I understand, I have just been working so hard getting the album together. Management isn't happy that I have put it on hold again." Nick explained.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to put everything on hold to take care of me. I am only five months pregnant. We got plenty of time." Amanda said, taking his hand in hers. Nick smiled at her, he had wanted to be around for every part of this pregnancy...but it was great that his wife was so understanding.
"Are you sure? Cause I would have to go to LA for about a month or so to record. JC said he'd cover for me at the club."
"I will be okay, AJ is here to help out and so is Aaron. Don't worry about a thing. I know how important this album is to you, you put it off enough with the accident and our wedding." Amanda said. Nick's hand rested on her belly, just over her navel....He felt like the baby sensed his presence. Would he be all right leaving her alone for almost two months?
"I don't know about this.." he whispered, his voice choppy.
"I promise it will be fine." she reassured him as she kissed him gently on the cheek. Nick left for LA a few days later, and now Amanda was home with AJ, Celine and Aaron. She knew Nick was hesitant about leaving her to record but she didn't want to hold him back....this album was important, a comeback for Nick. He had been through so much in the last year with the car accident that she wanted him to make music again, to be Nick again. All Amanda could think about was the days Nick lay in his bed....unable to walk, but writing in a notebook he kept at his bedside, humming a tune occasionally as he did. It had made her smile to see him trying.
Nick made it safely to Los Angeles, making time to call Amanda once he got to the airport. He was staying at JC's apartment for the time being....JC Chasez was an old friend of his from the beginning of his career.
"How was your flight?" JC asked when Nick's taxi reached his apartment.
"It was smooth. I don't like being out here, JC....I should be home taking care of Amanda and not recording an album like Howie wants me to do." Nick muttered as he carried his bags inside. JC's apartment was spacious....it wasn't cozy like home.
"I know you're worried about the baby, but it will be fine. She isn't that far along yet and you'll be home in no time. Just relax and have fun." JC said, patting Nick on the back. Nick nodded but it didn't ease his feelings. He tried to sleep that night but tossed and turned, tangling himself in the sheets as he worried about the baby. Nick wanted a son more than anything and he just hoped things would go well for once in his life. The days started to pass quickly once Nick got into the recording studio again, he had some songs written but nothing jumped out at him.
"What's this one?" JC asked, holding up Nick's notebook. Nick always carried the notebook with him for when an idea struck. The lyrics were written hurriedly and several things had been crossed out and rewritten.
"Oh....that....it's nothing." Nick mumbled, trying to take the paper away from him. JC sat down on the chair across from him, reading it and nodding.
"Why haven't you recorded this song yet?" JC asked. Nick snatched the notebook back, sighing.
"Because that song is very personal. I wrote it when I was going through depression." he explained.
"Sing some for me." JC begged. Nick went over to the keyboard and propped the notebook up, playing softly.
"It's so cold....in this room, and I'm trapped inside your heart all by myself...." he sang softly, his eyes watering with each verse. He couldn't get through it....the song only reminded him of her....
"Nick, its okay. I know you miss her." JC offered, putting an arm around him.
"I wrote this for her but she will never hear it. I don't know if its a good fit for my album....it's so personal." Nick whispered.
"Sometimes it is for the best. As artists we need to express ourselves, I think this song is perfect." JC replied. Nick thought it over and a few hours later he began to record it....he knew he was on his way to gaining closure and hoped that Tracy would be proud of him wherever she was.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I apologize for the delay in updating, I have been sick but just got over bronchitis recently. I hope to be back to writing regularly soon! Thanks for the feedback and support as always!
Chapter End Notes:
The song lyrics in this chapter were from "Falling Down" by Nick Carter :)
